-Delile
- Kusho ukuthini ukubambisana nomzali wakho wakudala
- 1. Kwakha umuzwa wokuzinza
- 2. Ubuzali obunomkhawulo noma obungenabo nhlobo
- 3. Ukungaguquguquki
- 4. Hlala nomndeni
- Kusho ukuthini ukuba ngumzali ofanayo nowakwakho wakudala
- 1. Yehlisa izingxabano nowawushade naye
- 2. Izitayela zomzali ngamunye
- 3. Kwakha indawo enokuthula
Kuhlala njalo kunentshisekelo ezinganeni zakho ukuthi bobabili abazali bazo babeka izidingo zabo phambili. Lokhu akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi ukukwenza lapho uhlukanisile noma uhlukene nowakwakho.
Kwabaningi, umbono wokukhulisa izingane ndawonye njengemngane ngemuva kwesehlukaniso ubonakala umuhle kakhulu ukuba ungaba yiqiniso. Kweminye imibhangqwana yangaphambili, ukungakwazi ukuba segumbini elilodwa ndawonye akubonakali kunempilo. Ngakho-ke, kufanele kanjani ukuthi umbhangqwana ube ngumzali ngokubambisana ngemuva kokwehlukana?
Ukuthola indlela yokubeka ukungafani kwakho eceleni futhi ugxile ezinganeni zakho kungaba yinselele, noma ngabe izinhloso zakho zimsulwa. Izinkinga zomshado zangaphambilini nokunye ukungezwani kungaphazamisa ikhono lakho lokuba ngumzali ndawonye.
Kunezinzuzo kukho kokubili ukuba ngumzali ngokubambisana nokuba ngumzali ofanayo. Sibheke ubuhle nobubi babo bobabili ukuze ukwazi ukunquma ukuthi iyiphi indlela elungele wena nomndeni wakho.
Kusho ukuthini ukubambisana nomzali wakho wakudala
Umehluko omkhulu phakathi kokukhulisa izingane ngokubambisana nokuba ngumzali ofanayo ukuthi lapho ubambisana ngokubambisana, ugcina ubuhlobo nobudala bakho. Abanye balwela ukuba nobungane bangempela, kanti abanye bavele bahlale bodwa futhi baxoxe njalo ngezingane zabo.
Abantu osebenza nabo abagxile ekuphikisaneni noma ekuvezeni izinkinga zakho zobudlelwano obudlule. Bagxila ekubeni khona nokunaka izingane zabo. Baphakama ngaphezu kwenzondo abazizwa ngayo komunye nomunye ukuze bahlale bengabalingani ekukhuliseni.
Kunezinzuzo eziningi zokuba ngumzali ngokubambisana ezinganeni zakho nakuwe naku-ex yakho.
1. Kwakha umuzwa wokuzinza
Ukubuka ukuphela komshado kunzima ezinganeni. Ikhuthaza ukucindezeleka futhi idala umuzwa wokungakhululeki. Into enhle kunazo zonke abazali abangayenzela izingane zabo ngesikhathi sokuhlukana ukudala umuzwa oqinile wokuzijwayeza nokuzinza.
Ukubambisana njengomzali ngemuva kokuqedwa kobudlelwano kuyindlela ezuzisa kakhulu ingane. Kepha lapho ingane yazi ukuthi bobabili abazali bayo babeka izintshisekelo zabo kuqala, kudala umuzwa wokulondeka.
Esikhundleni sokuhlukaniswa phakathi kwabazali ababili noma ukuzwa isidingo sokuthi "sithathe uhlangothi" ingane izokwazi ukugcina ubudlelwane obuseduze nobunempilo nabazali bobabili.
2. Ubuzali obunomkhawulo noma obungenabo nhlobo
Ukubekwa kwabazali kuyindima ebuyiselwa emuva phakathi kwengane nomzali. Esikhundleni sokuba abazali banakekele imizwa nenhlalakahle yezingane zabo, ingane yesehlukaniso iyoba namazinga emfanelo angafanelekile emndenini, imvamisa izama ukuba "ngumenzi wokuthula" phakathi kwabazali.
Ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi izingane ezihlanganyela ekukhuliseni umzali zivame ukukhula zibe ngabazali abanqikayo ngokwazo.
Lapho abazali besikhathi esidala bengaba khona, ubungozi bokuba ngumzali buyehla kakhulu, ngoba ingane iyakwazi ukubona ukuthi uphiko lomndeni lusasebenza ezingeni eliphilile.
3. Ukungaguquguquki
Abazali abahle bayahambisana nezingane zabo. Bayaziqhenya ngokukhuthaza imithetho efanayo yasekhaya, ukuyala, kanye nemivuzo ekhaya ngalinye. Lokhu kudala inqubo nomqondo wokuvumelana kungakhathalekile ukuthi ingane ihlalaphi ngalelo sonto.
Umfundisi ongumzali uMichael Grose uthi izingane ziyahlomula ngokungaguquguquki emindenini yazo. Ukuba ngumzali okungaguquguquki kubeka imingcele nemikhawulo, kufundisa ukuziphatha okuhle futhi kunikeze ukwakheka. Lapho abazali besebenza ndawonye njengeqembu bafundisa ingane ukuthi ngeke balindele ukucela okuthile futhi bathole impendulo ehlukile kumzali ngamunye.
4. Hlala nomndeni
Ukukhulisa ngokubambisana kungasusi kuphela ingcindezi ezinganeni zakho, futhi kuyabaqinisekisa futhi ukuthi, ngenkathi nihlukene manje, nonke nisengumndeni.
Lokhu kuqinisekisa izingane ukuthi ngeke kudingeke zikhethe futhi zikhethe lapho zigcina khona ngamaholide noma imicimbi ekhethekile noma ukuthi zihlela kanjani imishado yazo ngolunye usuku kusukela (uma kudingeka) wena nowakwakho futhi nisasebenzisana njengomndeni, mhlawumbe ngisho nokuqhubeka ukuphuma noma ukugubha ndawonye.
Kusho ukuthini ukuba ngumzali ofanayo nowakwakho wakudala
Ukubambisana ngokubambisana akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi emibhangqwaneni. Ukwehluka kwemibono ezindabeni zendlela yokuphila, ukukhulisa izingane, imfundo, isimilo, kanye nokucasukela okwedlule kumuntu wakudala konke kungaphazamisa umzamo wokubambisana.
Omunye umehluko phakathi kokubambisana njengomzali nokuba ngumzali ofanayo ukuthi ngesikhathi sokubeletha okufanayo, ama-ex azoba nokuxhumana okulinganiselwe komunye nomunye. Babonisana ngezinga eliyisisekelo kakhulu maqondana nemininingwane yezingane nokuthatha izinqumo, bobabili bazoxhumana ngokuhlukile nesikole sengane yabo nabangane futhi bazakhele eyabo imithetho yasekhaya.
1. Yehlisa izingxabano nowawushade naye
Uma umbhangqwana uye wadivosa ngezingxabano ezinkulu, kungahle kube yingozi ngalesi sikhathi ukuthi ingane ibekhona lapho kuhlangana umzali. Lapho kukhuliswa ngendlela efanayo, imibhangqwana iba nokuxhumana okulinganiselwe, okungaholela ezingxabanweni ezimbalwa.
2. Izitayela zomzali ngamunye
Lapho wena njengomzali ofanayo, awudingi ukunamathela emithethweni yez exes zakho noma izitayela zobuzali. Isibonelo, mhlawumbe owake wakuthanda ukukholwa kodwa wena awukho. Ngokuba nesitayela sakho sokuba ngumzali nemithetho yasekhaya, awudingi ukugcina inqubo yokuhambisa ingane yakho esontweni noma ukwenza imephu yezikhathi zokufunda.
Ngenkathi umehluko onje ngezitayela zobuzali ungadida ingane yakho, bazofunda ngokushesha umehluko phakathi kwemindeni yomibili.
3. Kwakha indawo enokuthula
Uma ingane ivela emndenini onezimpi ezinkulu, ukukhawulela ukuxhumana kwabo ubuso nobuso nowesilisa wakudala kungenzeka ukuthi kunikeza ingane yakhe indawo enokuthula yokuhlala kuyo.
Ukucindezeleka kuyingozi enjabulweni yengane, futhi ukukhathazeka okuncane okuphonsayo ezimpilweni zazo kuba ngcono.
Yize ukuba ngumzali ofanayo kungahlali kudala indawo ezinze kakhulu yengane ekuqaleni, ezimweni lapho ama-ex engakwazi ukubeka umehluko wabo eceleni noma egcine ubudlelwano obunobutha, ukuba ngumzali ofanayo kungaba yindlela engcono kakhulu yokunciphisa ukucindezeleka ezinganeni.
Ukuba ngumzali ne-ex akulula. Ngokujabulisayo, kunezinketho ezingaphezu kweyodwa ezitholakala kozakwethu abahlukene abafuna ukukhulisa izingane zabo ngendlela engcono kakhulu. Kubazali abahlalisanayo nakulabo abangakwazi ukuba segumbini elilodwa ndawonye, ukuba ngumzali ngokubambisana nokuba ngumzali ofanayo zombili izindlela ezinhle zokukhulisa izingane ngenkathi behlukanisile.