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-Delile
Bengisebenza nemibhangqwana ngamakhono wokuxhumana iminyaka eminingi. Ukusiza abantu bakhulume ndawonye ngempumelelo enkulu futhi bazizwe beqondakala kakhulu kungasiza kakhulu ekwenzeni ubudlelwano bube ngcono. Kunombono owodwa obelokhu ukhona kusukela ngawo-1950 imibhangqwana eminingi ebonakala ihlobene ngaso leso sikhathi. Ibizwa ngokuthi "Ukuhlaziywa Kwokuxhumana." Kuhamba into enjengale ...
Umlingani # 1 - “Awusoze wangisiza ukugeza lapha! Kuyangikhathaza lokho.! ”
Umlingani # 2 - "Angikwazi ukuthatha ukungangibangi kwakho ngaso sonke isikhathi!" ... uyahamba, ushaya umnyango.
Kwenzekani lapha? Yebo, ngokusho kweTransactional Analysis, sonke sinezindawo ezintathu esivela kuzo ngaphakathi kwethu lapho sikhuluma nomunye umuntu. Ziyindawo YABAZALI, indawo YENGANE nendawo YABADALA ... futhi sonke singena siphuma kulezi zingqondo usuku lonke.
Sivela endaweni yethu YOMZALI lapho sizwa amagama ephuma emilonyeni yethu njengokuthi “Kufanele ...” “Awusoze ...” “Uhlala u ...” “Ufanele ...” Lo mqondo set isuka kulokho esizwe abazali bethu bekusho kithi, imithetho, imithetho yomphakathi, njll.
Lapho sisebancane, sasabela ekukhulunyweni kanjena. Njengabantu abadala, lapho sikhokha, simemeza, sihlubuka, noma sivala sivela endaweni yethu YENGANE. Thatha isikhashana ucabange ngokuthi ukwenze kanjani ekucindezelekeni useyingane. Qaphela noma yikuphi ukufana nendlela osabela ngayo kumlingani wakho lapho usumdala?
Uyabona, kwenzeka into ehlekisayo lapho sikhuluma nomunye umuntu. Banazo lezi zindawo ezintathu ngaphakathi ukuthi zivela engxoxweni, futhi ukuxhumana kuyabonakala. Uma umuntu engena ngephutha ezwini lakhe LOMZALI kuvame ukwenza ukuthi omunye umuntu asabele engahlosile esendaweni yakhe YENGANE. Bheka isibonelo sethu ngenhla.
Umlingani # 1 ngokusobala uvela ezwini labo LOMZALI. Awukaze ungisize ngihlanze la! ” Lapho bekwenza lokho Umlingani # 2 usabela endaweni yabo YENGANE. “Angikwazi ukuthatha ukungangibangi kwakho ngaso sonke isikhathi!” ... ahambe, ashaye isicabha.
Yini esingayenza?
Uma sesineminyaka engaphezu kwengu-18 sesingabantu abadala. Ngokujabulisayo, futhi sinendawo yabantu abadala ngaphakathi kwethu. Izwi lethu LABADALA yilo esivame ukulisebenzisa emsebenzini noma lapho sikhuluma nochwepheshe wohlobo oluthile. Izwi lethu LABADALA lithulile, liyondla, liyaxhasa futhi likhuluma ngokwezidingo.
Ukubheja kwethu okuhle kakhulu, lapho sikhuluma nowakwethu ngento esisihluphayo, ukukhuluma NGOMUNTU WOMUNTU WABADALA. Siyaxoxisana sisuka endaweni yezidingo bese sizama ukuthola isisombululo esisebenzela abantu bobabili. Ake sibuyele esibonelweni sethu bese sibona indlela eyodwa laba ababili abangaba nengxoxo ngayo ngendlu edidayo YOMUNTU WOMUNTU OYEDWA.
Umlingani # 1 – “Sthandwa sami, ngizizwa ngicindezeleke kakhulu uma ngingena endlini ngemuva komsebenzi futhi kunamathoyizi phansi. Futhi izitsha ezivela ekuseni azenziwanga. Kuyangikhathaza ngempela! Ungavuma yini ukuzama ukwenza izingane zicoshe amathoyizi azo futhi zigeze nezitsha kwasekuseni ngaphambi kokuba ngifike ekhaya kusihlwa? ”
Umlingani # 2 – “Ngiyaxolisa ukuthi uzizwa ukhungathekile. Kwesinye isikhathi ngiyazikhathaza ngakho konke okwenzeka lapha ukuze ngiqonde. Ngingazimisela ukuzama ukuthi izingane zizolanda amathoyizi azo, kepha kungaba ngumsebenzi oqhubekayo. Mhlawumbe ungangisiza ngiqedele izitsha zasekuseni, ngokuthi okungenani uzenzele eyakho ekuseni bese ngiyakusebenzela okunye uma usuhambile? ”
Ukukhulumisana kanjena kungaba nzima ekuqaleni, kepha kuba lula ngokuzijwayeza nemiphumela eyanelisa kakhulu. Into ebalulekile okufanele uyikhumbule ukuthi ufuna ukuxazulula inkinga. Ukusebenza njengethimba kuzohlala kuyindlela enempilo yokubhekana nezinkinga kunokumane uphendule ngomuzwa wesikhashana. Le ndlela ingathatha umkhuba othile. Umelaphi onekhono angakusiza uthuthukise amakhono akho okuxhumana ukuze ubuyele engxenyeni enhle kakhulu ebudlelwaneni bakho - nithandane!