-Delile
- 1. Jabulani ndawonye
- 2. Thembeka njalo
- 3. Lalela ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka
- 4. Khuluma uthando lwakho
- 5. Zinikeni isikhathi ndawonye nsuku zonke
- 6. Ukwenza ucansi njalo
- 7. Khombisa ukwazisana
Ukufunda ukuxhumana ngempumelelo ebudlelwaneni kukusiza ukuthi ubonise inhlonipho, niqondane kangcono, futhi kukwenze ufinyeleleke kakhudlwana kumlingani wakho. Nobabili noshade naye niletha okwenu okwenzeka empilweni yenu ebudlelwaneni benu. Lokhu kusho ukuthi nobabili ninezindlela ezahlukahlukene zokukhuluma, ukulalela, nokuxhumana njengabantu abashadile.
Ukuxhumana kuyingxenye ebalulekile ebudlelwaneni obunempilo.
Kuthuthukisa ukwethembana, ukwethembeka, ukwethembeka nothando. Uma nifuna ukukhuthaza ubunye obuhlala isikhathi eside ndawonye, kubalulekile ukuthi nihlale nimunye futhi nilwele ukuthuthukisa amakhono enu okuxhumana njengabantu abashadile. Lezi zeluleko eziyisikhombisa zizokusiza ufunde ukuthi ungakuthuthukisa kanjani ukuxhumana nokuxhumana noshade naye.
1. Jabulani ndawonye
Ukuxhumana nokuxhumana kuyahambisana. Enye ayisebenzi kahle ngaphandle komunye. Ukuzijabulisa ndawonye kukhulisa isimilo sobuhlobo bakho futhi kukusondeze ndawonye. Lapho uzizwa usondelene kakhulu noshade naye, uyothambekela ngokwengeziwe ukuhlanganyela nabo imicabango nemizwa yakho.
Ukwenza okuthile okujabulisayo ndawonye kuhle empilweni yobuhlobo bakho. Khetha umdlalo wokuzilibazisa eniwuthandayo nobabili, nibe nobusuku bosuku, noma nichithe ntambama nigonqana ngaphansi kwengubo ngombukiso wakho owuthandayo ndawonye. Noma yini enithanda ukuyenza nobabili, qinisekani ukuthi niyakwenza kaningi. Lapho niba nobumnandi obengeziwe niyozizwa nixhumene ngokwengeziwe.
2. Thembeka njalo
Lapho uthembeke ngokwengeziwe kumlingani wakho, hhayi ngemizwa yakho kuphela kepha nangokulandela kwakho, kulapho bezokwazi khona ukukuthemba esikhathini esizayo. Ngomqondo othile, ikhono lakho lokuthembeka libumba ukuthi umlingani wakho uzizwa kanjani ngawe. Ingabe uthembekile? Ingabe banesizathu sokukungabaza? Lapho nizama ukwenza ngcono ukuxhumana noshade naye, kwenze umgomo wenu ukungafihli lutho futhi nithembeke komunye nomunye.
Ubudlelwano obukhulu bukhiwe ngenhlonipho nokwethembana, zombili izici ezihlonishwa ngokuba neqiniso. Khulumani ngempilo yenu ndawonye, izinhloso zenu ngekusasa, khulumani uma kukhona ukungaboni ngaso linye, futhi ungalinge uzenze umuntu ojabulayo uma kungenjalo. Kunezinzuzo eziningi ngokukhuluma iqiniso nomlingani wakho. Ukwethembeka kuzonisiza nobabili ukuthuthukisa amakhono enu okuxhumana futhi nixhumane ezingeni elijulile. Iphinde inifundise nobabili ukuthi nifundana kanjani futhi nezinkinga zixazululwe kahle.
3. Lalela ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka
Uma ungajwayele ukuthula, lesi sici sokuxhuma nokuxhumana kungaba nzima. Kepha, uma ufunda ukulalela ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka kuzokwenza izimangaliso empilweni yobudlelwano bakho.
Kungaba nzima ukungaphazamisi ngemicabango nemibono yakho ngesikhathi sokuxabana. Kepha ungakwenzi. Noma ngabe umlingani wakho ukhuluma ngosuku lwabo olunengcindezi emsebenzini, okuthile okuhlekisayo abakufundayo, noma uphakathi kokungavumelani, ukulalela kuyisinyathelo esibalulekile sendlela yokuthuthukisa ukuxhumana nomlingani wakho. Kuyanisiza nobabili ukuthi nigweme ukungaqondani.
Funda ukuzijwayeza ukulalela oshade naye. Thintana ngamehlo lapho umlingani wakho ehlanganyela indaba bese usebenzisa kahle ukuxhumana okungenamlomo, njengokuvuma ngekhanda nokumamatheka. Lokhu kuzokwenza umlingani wakho azizwe eqinisekisiwe futhi ubazise ukuthi ulalele futhi ubambe iqhaza ngaphandle kokubanqamula. Sebenzisa imibuzo yokulandelela ukusiza ukukhombisa intshisekelo yakho nenhlonipho.
Abalaleli ababekezelayo basesimweni esingcono sokubhekana nokungaboni ngaso linye kanye nezimpikiswano ebudlelwaneni. Uma ukhathazeka ngokuthi ungakuthuthukisa kanjani ukuxhumana nokuxhumana noshade naye, ungaqala ngokuba ngumlaleli onesineke.
4. Khuluma uthando lwakho
Ucwaningo lwembula ukuthi uma ubheka emehlweni koshade naye bese uthi “Ngiyakuthanda” ubuchopho bufakwa ukuba bukhiphe i-hormone ezwakala kahle i-oxytocin, ehlanganisa imibhangqwana ndawonye. Le hormone ikwenza umethembe kakhulu oshade naye futhi ikhulise imizwa yenjabulo.
Imibhangqwana eminingi ngokudabukisayo iphuma emkhubeni wokuthi “Ngiyakuthanda” kwabashade nabo noma imane iyisebenzise njengendlela nje yokuqeda ingxoxo yocingo. Buyela enkambisweni yokutshela umlingani wakho ukuthi ubathanda kangakanani nokuthi kungani wenza kanjalo. Ukuzwakalisa uthando lwakho nsuku zonke, nokuluqonde, kuzothuthukisa ukuzethemba komlingani wakho futhi kuqinise ubudlelwane bakho ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
5. Zinikeni isikhathi ndawonye nsuku zonke
Nobabili niphila impilo ematasa, kepha lokho akusona isizathu sokubeka ubudlelwano benu ezansi ohlwini lwenu olubaluleke kakhulu. Zinike isikhathi somunye nomunye nsuku zonke. Yiba nemizuzu engama-30 ubuncane usuku ngalunye lapho wabelana khona ngokuqhubekayo kwempilo yakho. Isikhathi enisichitha ndawonye nobudlelwano benu buzoqina kakhulu. Imibhangqwana eminingi ikwenza lokhu ikhofi ekuseni ngaphambi kokuxokozela kosuku, noma yenze ubusuku ngalo nebhodlela lewayini. Akunandaba ukuthi ukhetha ukuxhumana nini usuku lonke, qiniseka ukuthi nobabili nenza umzamo ngenhliziyo yonke.
6. Ukwenza ucansi njalo
Lapho ucabanga ukuthi ungakukhulisa kanjani ukuxhumana nomlingani wakho, imisebenzi yakho yokulala izodlala indima enkulu. Ubulili ngesinye isenzo ebudlelwaneni obukhulisa amazinga e-oxytocin. Le hormone ikhethekile futhi inesibopho ngqo sokuhlangana komphakathi kanye nokuzizwa kuxhumene noshade naye. Njengoba sike saxoxa, ukuxhumana kwakho nomlingani wakho kulapho nixhumana khona kakhulu. Xoxisanani ngempilo yenu yezocansi. Zingaki izikhathi ngesonto noma ngenyanga ezigculisayo kubo bobabili abathintekayo? Yini oyidingayo kumlingani wakho ukuze uvuthwe? Le yimibuzo ebalulekile ezoqinisa isibopho sakho futhi ikunikeze okuhlangenwe nakho kocansi okunempilo, nokwanelisa kakhulu.
7. Khombisa ukwazisana
Uma umlingani wakho ekuhlaba umxhwele, mtshele kanjalo. Ukubonisa ukwazisa ngezinto ezenziwa oshade naye kuzobenza bazizwe bebalulekile futhi baqashelwe nguwe. Uma ungeyena owombukiso womlomo wothando, ungahlala ukhombisa ukubonga kwakho ngezindlela ezahlukahlukene. Ukunganga nokubonga esihlathini nakho kusebenza izimangaliso ngokwazisa umlingani wakho ukuthi bakhethekile kuwe. Ungenzela futhi izinto eziwusizo oshade naye njengokuthatha imisebenzi yabo yasekhaya, ukupheka ukudla abakuthandayo, noma ukwenza okuthile okuncane njengokubhanga. Okukhulu noma okuncane, noma yini ongayenza eyenza usuku lwabo lube lula kancane isenzo esihle
Ukuthumela imibhalo ekhuthazayo usuku lonke kungenye indlela encane ongakhuphula ngayo ukuzethemba komlingani wakho. Uma uziqhenya ngabo, ungakugcini kuwe. Umlingani wakho uzothanda ukuzwa lezi zinto. Ngemuva kwakho konke, ngubani ongathandi ukunconywa?