-Delile
- 1. Buza izinhloso zakho
- 2. Funda ukukhomba imizwa yakho
- 3. Prakthiza ukuchitha isikhathi uwedwa
- 4. Ncika enkathazweni
- 5. Prakthiza ukwenza izinqumo
- 6. Vumela isikhala sokubhekana
- 7. Cela usizo
- 8. Funda ukuthi "Cha"
- 9. Ziqaphele ngamehlo omuntu omthandayo
- 10. Thola izwi lakho
Yize kuwuphawu lobudlelwano obunempilo ukuvumela umlingani wakho ukuthi akusekele ngokomzimba, ngokwengqondo nangokomzwelo, igagasi ngokushesha liphenduka lingabi nempilo lapho sinqamula emandleni ethu okuzondla futhi silwela ukunqoba ukuxhomekeka.
Ubudlelwano bokuzimela busho ukuswela okungenampilo nokubambelela.
Ukuze isibopho sothando sisinde futhi siphumelele kubalulekile ukushintsha ubudlelwane obuncikile, uyeke ukonakalisa izidingo zakho nokuzazi kwakho, bese ubuyela esimweni esikahle nomlingani wakho.
Ngamaphethini afanayo akhuthaza ukunamathiselwa nokuxhuma, lapho kwenziwa ihaba, nakho kusiholela ekuthinjweni ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni bethu.
Yilapho umuntu eqala ukufuna usizo lokuxhomekeka ebudlelwaneni, bese ephula umjikelezo wobudlelwano obuncikile.
Ngokusho kochwepheshe ngendaba yokuncika kobudlelwano ebudlelwaneni, ukuphulukisa ubudlelwano kusuka ekuvumelaneni kuba inqubo enzima, sengathi uma ingalashwa, iba yimbi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
Sisale silwa nemibuzo ethi, “singakunqoba kanjani ukuxhomekeka?”, Sibheka izindlela ezahlukahlukene ezinikeza usizo lokuxhomekeka, ngakho-ke singashintsha ubudlelwano bokuzimela futhi singazikhohlwa thina.
Enkambeni yokuhlanganisa izimpilo ezimbili, kunezivumelwano ezikhulunywayo nezingakhulunywa zokuthi lokhu kudlala kanjani, futhi ngaphambi kokuthi wazi, kungabonakala njengokuphila okukodwa kusekelwa abantu ababili.
Futhi, buka lokhu:
Uma uzithole kula maphethini wokuxhomekeka, nazi izindlela eziyishumi zokusetha kabusha imingcele enempilo futhi ulungise ubudlelwane obuncikile.
Amathiphu ayi-10 wokunqoba ukuthembela ebudlelwaneni
1. Buza izinhloso zakho
Ngaphakathi kwamaphethini wokuxhomekeka, imvamisa kwenzeka ukuthi silahlekelwe yindlela yethu yokwenza izinqumo ebudlelwaneni. Zibuze ukuthi ngabe izinhloso zakho zizuzisa wena noma ezomlingani wakho.
Lapho sizithola ukubeka njalo izidingo nezidingo zikazakwethu ngaphambi kwezethu, sithambekele ekungazinakekeli nasekwakheni amagqubu kozakwethu.
Ukuqonda inhloso ngemuva kokuziphatha kwethu kusinikeza ithuba senze endaweni yokunika amandla, kunokuba usabele emibonweni ebonakalayo yomlingani wethu.
2. Funda ukukhomba imizwa yakho
Enye yezinto eziguquguqukayo ezivame kakhulu ngaphakathi kokuncika ekuboneni ngokweqile kunemizwa yozakwethu, futhi ukungazazi kahle ngemizwa yethu. Imizwa inikeza ulwazi oluningi nesiqondiso.
Ngakho-ke, uma sihlala sinaka kakhulu imizwa yozakwethu, kungenzeka ukuthi siziphatha ngendlela ebakhonza kakhulu futhi siyinake, kungakhathalekile imizwa yethu.
Lapho sikwazi ukukhomba imizwa yethu ngokwengeziwe, kulapho singaqala khona ukubhekelela izidingo zethu futhi silungise ubudlelwane obuxhomekile.
3. Prakthiza ukuchitha isikhathi uwedwa
Amaphethini we-Codependency aqala ukukhula lapho siqala ukusebenzisa abanye abantu njengendlela yokuphatha ukungaphatheki kahle kwethu nemizwelo yethu.
Asidingi kuphela isikhathi nesikhala sokuthula ukukhomba imizwa yethu, kepha Isikhathi esisichitha sisodwa siyadingeka futhi ekwakheni ukwethemba ukuthi singakwazi ukuzinakekela thina nemizwa yethu.
Njenganoma yibuphi ubuhlobo, ukwethembana kwakhiwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, futhi ubudlelwane bethu nathi buhlukile. Zinike isikhathi sokuzazi ngaphandle kobuhlobo bakho.
4. Ncika enkathazweni
Njengabantu, sinezintambo ezilukhuni ukugwema izinhlungu nokungaphatheki kahle, nakho okusiholela emaphethini okuphunyuka ngokwanele.
Kepha ngenkathi abantu beklanyelwe ukugwema ubuhlungu, ulwazi lomuntu luhlelwe ukuba lubufake.
Uma kukhulunywa ngokuxhomekeka kwekhodi, singazama ukulawula okwethu, sigweme okungathandeki nokungakhululeki, ngokugxila ngokweqile nokunakekela umlingani wethu.
Isisho sakudala esithi, “uma ulungile, ngiyaphila.”
Kuze kube yilapho sifunde ukuthi sinamandla namandla okuphatha ukungakhululeki, sizoqhubeka nokuzithola sikulezi zindlela zokugwema.
5. Prakthiza ukwenza izinqumo
Lapho silahlekelwa yizicucu zethu ebuhlotsheni, siphelelwa namandla okuveza izidingo zethu nezidingo zethu.
Zinike ithuba lokuzijwayeza ukuthatha izinqumo.
- Yisho indawo yokudlela ofuna ukuya kuyo ukuze uthole isidlo sakusihlwa.
- Yithi "cha" esimemweni sakamuva.
Ngokuzinika ithuba lokwenza izinqumo ezifana nalezi, uzozazi kakhudlwana ngawe, futhi uzethembe ngokwengeziwe ekusebenziseni izwi lakho.
6. Vumela isikhala sokubhekana
Ngaphakathi kwamaphethini wokuxhomekeka, kunengqikithi yokuhambisana nokugwema ukubhekana ngeziqu zamehlo. Singavumelana ngokweqile nemicabango yozakwethu ukuze sigweme ukungena kokungavumelani okungase kungakhululeki.
Akukona nje kuphela ukuthi lokhu kungabi nempilo, kungaba yinto engakholeki ngendlela emangalisayo.
Kubantu ababili abahlangana ndawonye ebudlelwaneni, nakanjani kuzokwehluka imibono.
Ukuzinika imvume yokungavumelani kukunikeza ithuba lokwazisa umlingani wakho, futhi kunikeza nobudlelwano bakho ithuba lokufunda ukuxhumana.
Ukulwa, yize kungemnandi, kuyisici esibalulekile sokugcina ubudlelwane bunempilo.
7. Cela usizo
Ngenkathi amaphethini wokuxhomekeka ngokweqile angahle abukeke njengokuthembela ngokweqile kwabanye, kuyaqabukela ukuzwa izicelo eziqinile zokuxhaswa.
Ukuzimela ngokweqile kwenzeka lapho sisebenzisa abalingani ekusebenzeni ngendlela ethile ngaphandle kokuveza ngamabomu izidingo noma izifiso zethu. Kodwa-ke, akuveli endaweni yenhloso enonya kepha kuningi kunesidingo sokwenza imiphumela efiselekayo.
Ukuze wephule le ndlela yokuxhumana engenzi lutho exhasa ukuxhomekeka, kufanele siqale sizijwayeze ukucela usizo.
Qala okuncane njengoba ungadinga, mhlawumbe ucele othandekayo wakho akudlulisele izicubu, ukuze wakhe umkhuba wokuvumela obala izicelo zokusekelwa.
8. Funda ukuthi "Cha"
Ukwesaba ukwenqatshwa kungenye yezindlela zokwesaba ezivame kakhulu ezingaphansi kwamaphethini wokuxhomekeka.
Ngokwesaba ukwenqatshwa ebudlelwaneni obuncikile, singakhulisa ukulandisa kokuthi kufanele sidlale indima ethile ukuze sibambe inani ebudlelwaneni. Lokhu kusigcina kuphethini yokuthi, "yebo," ukuze sigcine leyo ndima, kungakhathalekile izidingo zethu.
Uma kunzima ukusho, "cha," ebudlelwaneni, khona-ke u- "yebo" uyohlale ubukelwa phansi.
Ukuqinisekisa imingcele enempilo kudinga ukunwetshwa kwendima yethu ebudlelwaneni.
9. Ziqaphele ngamehlo omuntu omthandayo
Ungazizwa kanjani uma umngane wakho omkhulu, ingane, noma othandekayo ebudlelwaneni onabo?
Lo mbuzo uvame ukuhlinzekela ukuqonda okuhle emaphethini obudlelwano bakho angasakusebenzeli.
Uma ungazonda umuntu omkhathalelayo ukuthi abambe iqhaza lakho ebudlelwaneni, yini ekugcina udlala leyo ndima
- Yini ongayethemba ngothandekayo wakho?
- Ungakusebenza kanjani ukuzitholela lokho?
Vumela ukulindela okufanayo kuwe njengoba ubungathanda labo obakhathalelayo.
10. Thola izwi lakho
Kuyaqabukela ubudlelwano buphathe ukwahlukana okuyi-50/50 kweqiniso, kepha amaphethini wokuncika kokunye kuxhomeke lapho umlingani oyedwa aqhubeka nokwamukela okuncane isikhala ebuhlotsheni.
Lapho uvumela isikhala esiningi ukuthi uthathe ubudlelwano, kulapho futhi uzinika imvume yokusebenzisa izwi lakho nokunxenxa izidingo zakho.
Nikeza umlingani wakho ithuba lokukwazi kangcono ngokwenza izwi lakho lizwakale. Ngokungafani nobudlelwano bokuzimela, ubudlelwano obunempilo buyaguquguquka ngokwanele ukunikeza indawo yabo bobabili abalingani.