-Delile
- 1. Isiqalo, noma ukuthatheka
- 2. Thatha uhambo
- 3. Buyela emhlabeni
- 4. Ijubane lokushayela
- 5. Konke Kuhle
- 6. Ukuphila ngokujwayelekile
Bonke ubudlelwano buhamba ngezigaba njengoba zisuka ku- “just met” ziye “osanda kushada” nangaphezulu. Izigaba zingaba uketshezi; ukuqala kwabo nokuphela kwabo kufiphele, futhi kwesinye isikhathi imibhangqwana ihambisa izinyathelo ezimbili emuva ngaphambi kokuphuma iye phambili.
Ubudlelwano bobungqingili nobungqingili bubandakanya izinyathelo ezifanayo nobudlelwano obuqondile, noma kukhona umehluko ocashile obalulekile ukuthi ubonakale.
Ezibuza ubuhlobo bakho bobulili obufanayo bukusiphi isigaba?
Uzibuza ukuthi lezi zigaba zingazithinta kanjani izinhloso zakho zobudlelwano bobulili obufanayo noma izinhloso zobudlelwano bakho nabashadile?
Nazi ezinye izigaba zobudlelwano obujwayelekile nokuthi yini ongayilindela njengoba ujulisa ukuxhumana kwakho kothando nomlingani wakho, ngokugcizelela ukuthi i-trajectory isebenza kanjani emibhangqwaneni engqingili nabangqingili
1. Isiqalo, noma ukuthatheka
Uhlangane nomuntu ochofoza ngempela kuye. Ube sezinsukwini ezimbalwa futhi uzithola ucabanga ngazo ngaso sonke isikhathi. Uzulazula ngefu lesishiyagalolunye, ngothando njengesidakamizwa sakho.
Le mizwa ingumphumela wokuxhamazela kwama-endorphin, i-hormone ozizwa izizwa kahle i-oxytocin egeza ubuchopho bakho njengoba uqala ukuthandana.
Wena nomlingani wakho wobulili obufanayo nibona ukuheha okukhulu ngokomzwelo nangokobulili komunye nomunye, ukubona kuphela zonke izinto ezinhle kwezinye. Akukho okucasulayo okwamanje.
2. Thatha uhambo
Kulokhu isigaba sokuthandana, usuka ekuthathekeni okumsulwa uye kumzwelo onengqondo futhi ongadli kakhulu wokunamathiselwa ngokomzwelo nangokobulili. Usabona zonke izinto ezinhle ngomlingani wakho, kepha uthola umbono owengeziwe ngazo zizonke.
Nichitha ubusuku obude nixoxa ndawonye, nihlanganyela izindaba njengoba nazana ngaphandle kwegumbi lokulala.
Wena nomlingani wakho nifisa ukwazisa omunye ngokuthi yini ekwenza ube yilokho oyikho: umndeni wakho, ubudlelwano bakho bangaphambili nokuthi yini oyifundile kubo, uyaphuma futhi ube nesipiliyoni njengomuntu oyisitabane.
Lesi yisigaba sobudlelwano lapho uqala khona ukwakha uhlaka oluzosekela ubudlelwano bakho.
3. Buyela emhlabeni
Ususondele izinyanga ezimbalwa. Uyazi ukuthi lolu uthando. Futhi ngoba uqale ukwakha isisekelo sokwethembana, uyakwazi ukuvumela ezinye zalezo zinto ezicasulayo ezincane ezijwayelekile kunoma yibuphi ubuhlobo.
Ngemuva kwezinyanga ukhombisa uhlangothi lwakho "oluhle kakhulu", manje kuphephile ukuveza noma yikuphi ukungapheleli (futhi wonke umuntu unakho lokhu) ngaphandle kokwesaba ukuthi lokhu kuzoxosha umlingani wakho kude.
Ebudlelwaneni obunempilo, lesi yisigaba esibalulekile njengoba sikuvumela ukuthi ubone wonke umuntu oyintshisekelo yothando lwakho. Lesi futhi isigaba sokuthandana lapho izingxabano zizovela khona.
Indlela ozisingatha ngayo lezi kuzoba uphawu olubalulekile lokuthi buqine kangakanani lobu budlelwano. Lesi sigaba sobudlelwano yilapho wenza khona noma usiphula.
Kuyinto ebucayi kufayela lakho le- ubuhlobo bobungqingili noma be-LGBT, njenganoma yibuphi ubuhlobo, ngakho-ke ungazami ukudlula kukho ngaphandle kokunaka okwenzekayo.
4. Ijubane lokushayela
Kulesi sigaba sobudlelwano, unezinyanga ezimbalwa ngemuva kwakho futhi nobabili nizinikele ebudlelwaneni benu nomlingani wakho wobulili obufanayo. Izenzo zakho zomzimba zinothando futhi zinomusa, zikhumbuza umlingani wakho ukuthi zibalulekile kuwe.
Ungase futhi uzizwe ukhululekile, noma kunjalo, ukunaka kancane umlingani wakho ngoba uyazi ukuthi ubudlelwano bungabusingatha.
Ungahle ufike sekwedlule isikhathi sedina lakho lasebusuku ngoba umsebenzi wakho ukugcine ehhovisi, noma ungakunaki ukuthumela imibhalo yothando njengoba nje wenza ngesikhathi sokuthatheka.
Nizizwa nikhululekile ngomunye nomunye futhi niyazi ukuthi lezi zinto ezincane azanele ukunihlukanisa.
Le yi isigaba sobudlelwano bezitabane lapho nizivumela khona ukuthi nibonisane ukuthi ungubani ngempela, futhi abasekho esigabeni "sokushela" sobudlelwano.
5. Konke Kuhle
Nobabili niyabona ukuthi nifanelana kahle. Uzizwa uxhumeke ngempela kumlingani wakho, uphephile futhi uvikelekile. Lesi yisigaba sobudlelwano lapho uqala khona ukucabanga ngokuya ekuzibophezeleni okusemthethweni.
Uma umshado wezitabane uvumelekile lapho uhlala khona, wenza izinhlelo zokubopha ifindo likasofasilahlane. Uyabona ukuthi ukwenza inyunyana yakho ngokusemthethweni kubalulekile futhi ufuna ukuhlanganyela injabulo yakho nabangani bakho nomndeni wakho.
6. Ukuphila ngokujwayelekile
Nibe yizithandani iminyaka eminingana manje futhi senizinze enkambisweni ejwayelekile. Ungaqala nokuzwa ukubhoreka okuncane sengathi inhlansi iphumile ebudlelwaneni bakho. Ngabe nithathana kancane?
Ingqondo yakho ingaphambukela ezikhathini ezingcono nabanye abantu, futhi ungazibuza ukuthi ngabe izinto bezizokwenzeka kanjani ukube ubuyohlala nalo noma lowo muntu.
Akukona ukuthi unenzondo yangempela kumlingani wakho wamanje, kepha ubona ukuthi izinto zingangcono.
Lokhu yi isigaba sobudlelwano obubalulekile bezitabane ebudlelwaneni bakho nobunye obudinga ukuxhumana okuvulelekile ukuze udlule kubo ngempumelelo.
Ingabe umlingani wakho uzizwa into efanayo?
Zikhona ezinye izindlela ongazicabanga zokuthuthukisa izinga lenu lokujabula? Ngabe umbono wakho wamanje wokuphila uhlobene nobudlelwano, noma kungenye into?
Lesi yisikhathi lapho ungahle uthande ukutshala umzamo othile ekuhloleni izinhloso zakho siqu nokuthi zihlangana kanjani nezinhloso zakho zobudlelwano.
Kulesi sigaba sobudlelwano, izinto zingahamba ngezindlela ezimbalwa:
Kungenzeka ukuthi usebenzela ukugcina ubudlelwano bube bothando ngamagama nangezenzo, noma uthathe isinqumo sokuthi udinga igumbi lokuphefumula futhi ungathatha ikhefu ebudlelwaneni ukuze uzinike isikhathi sokuthatha isinqumo sokuthi ukuncoma kuyinto ofuna ukutshala kuyo.
Le yi isigaba sobudlelwano lapho imibhangqwana eminingi ihlukana khona.
Uma usaqala ebudlelwaneni bakho bobungqingili, yazi ukuthi isimo sakho sehlukile futhi kungenzeka singazilandeli lezi zigaba zobudlelwano bezitabane ncamashi. Futhi khumbula ukuthi unesandla ekutheni impilo yakho yothando yenzeka kanjani.
Uma usuthole “eyodwa” futhi nobabili nifisa ukubona ukuthi hlobo luni lomlingo eningawenza ndawonye esikhathini eside, lezi zigaba zizokunikeza umbono wokuthi yini ongayilindela.
Kepha ekugcineni, udala eyakho indaba, futhi ngethemba lokuthi leyo ndaba izoba nesiphetho esihle.