Izimpawu Ezingu-25 Umyeni Wakho Akasathandani Nawe

Umlobi: Peter Berry
Usuku Lokudalwa: 15 Ujulayi 2021
Ukuvuselela Usuku: 1 Ujulayi 2024
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Imishado isuselwe ezicini ezinhle ezahlukahlukene ezinjengothando, ukwethembana, nobungane. Ubuhlobo obungenye nje bohlobo lwayo. Kodwa-ke, yize yinhle njengoba injalo, ingaba namatshe futhi idlule emapheshini amabi.

Kunezikhathi futhi lapho omunye umlingani elahlekelwa intshisekelo emshadweni ngisho nakwabashade naye.

Ezimweni ezinjalo, omunye umuntu emshadweni angazithola edidekile ngemizwa kazakwabo. Uma usola ukuthi umyeni wakho akasenandaba nawe, nazi ezinye zezimpawu zokuthi umyeni wakho akasathandani nawe.

Njengoba besho, izenzo zikhuluma kakhulu kunamazwi. Kodwa-ke, lapho sisebudlelwaneni, sehluleka ukubona zonke lezo zimpawu ezincane zokuthi umlingani ulahlekelwa intshisekelo ngathi.

Kubhalwe ngezansi ezinye zezinto ezivelele signs ukuze uzizwe ungadideki kangako bese unquma inkambo oyenzayo.


Kusho ukuthini uma umyeni wakho engathandani nawe?

Ukucabanga noma ukwazi ukuthi umyeni wakho akasathandani nawe kungaba ngumcabango okhathaza inhliziyo. Kuyalulekwa ukuthi ukhulume nomyeni wakho futhi nixoxe ngobuqotho ngemizwa yenu naye. Uzibuza ukuthi wenzeni lapho umyeni wakho engasakufuni?

Uma evuma ukuthi akakuthandi, izinyathelo zakho ezilandelayo kuzoba ukuthola ukuthi wenzeni nokuthi ufuna ukuqhubekela phambili kanjani. Uma wazi kahle ukuthi umyeni wakho akakuthandi, akusho ukuthi umshado wakho usuphelile uma efisa ukusebenzisana nawe ngalesi sikhathi esibi.

Yize uthando emshadweni lubalulekile, akulona oluzoba yibo bonke futhi luphele ngabo bonke ubudlelwano. Ngasikhathi sinye, kubalulekile futhi ukuzihlola bese uzibuze ukuthi uyafuna yini ukuhlala emshadweni, njengoba usuyazi imizwa yendoda yakho ngawe.


Izizathu ezinhlanu zokuthi kungani umyeni wakho kungenzeka ukuthi akathandani nawe

Kunezizathu eziningi zokuthi kungani abantu bethandana. Ezinye zazo zingaphansi kolawulo lwethu, kanti ezinye, hhayi kakhulu. Uma uzibuza ukuthi kungani umyeni wakho engasakuthandi, impendulo ingaba ngesinye sezizathu ezilandelayo.

Ngaphambi kokuthi ubheke izimpawu umyeni wakho akakuthandi. Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi kungani kungenzeka ukuthi kwenzeka.

1. Nobabili niyekile ukuxhumana nomunye

Ukuxhumana kungenye yezinto ezibalulekile ebudlelwaneni noma emshadweni. Uma nobabili niyekile ukukhuluma omunye nomunye ngezidingo zakho kanye nezinto ozifunayo, ngisho nemisebenzi eyisisekelo yosuku, maningi amathuba okuthi nithandane.

Lapho ucabanga ukuthi umyeni wakho akasakuthandi, kungaba ngenxa yokuntuleka kokukhulumisana emshadweni wakho.


2. Nithathana kancane

Enye yezindlela ezivame kakhulu ukuqhubekela phambili kobudlelwano lapho abantu ababili bengabomunye nomunye ekuqaleni, kepha njengoba isikhathi sihamba, baqala ukuthathelana phansi. Yize ukuvikeleka ebudlelwaneni kubalulekile, ukuthatha umlingani wakho kalula akunjalo.

Kunamathuba okuthi wena noma umlingani wakho niqale ukuthathela phansi oshade naye, okwenza omunye wenu azizwe engabalulekile futhi ethandwa. Ukungazizwa ubalulekile kungaba ngezizathu zokuthi umyeni wakho akuthande.

3. Ukulindela okungenakwenzeka

Sonke silindelwe ngabalingani bethu emishadweni. Kodwa-ke, uma singazitsheli izidingo zethu futhi sifuna omunye komunye, umlingani wethu angahle angafinyeleli kulokho okulindelwe. Ngokufanayo, ungagcina ulindele okungenangqondo kumlingani wakho uma bengakhulumi ngemikhawulo yabo kuwe.

Lapho okulindelwe kungafinyelelwanga, abantu bangazizwa sengathi abathandiwe futhi bangahle bathandane nabalingani babo ekugcineni.

4. Isizungu

Ubudlelwano abuhlali buthakazelisa ngaso sonke isikhathi, nombhede wama roses, ngendlela esingathanda ukuba babe ngayo. Amathuba ukuthi nobabili niwele enkingeni, lapho nizungezwe khona kakhulu ukugcina umshado wenu ujabulisa. Isithukuthezi singenza abantu bazizwe bengathandwa futhi sibenze bangathandani nalomuntu ababekade behlanya ngaye.

5. Awuhambisani

Kuvamile ukuthi imibhangqwana ibone ukuthi ayihambisani kakhulu ngemuva kokushada isikhathi eside. Ukuhambisana kuyisici esibalulekile sobuhlobo obujabulisayo nomshado, ukungabi nakho okungenza abantu bazizwe bephuma othandweni. Thatha Imibuzo Yokuhambisana Nemishado Yokugcina

Ukuqonda kabanzi ngezizathu ezenza abantu bathandane, bukela le vidiyo.

Izimpawu umyeni wakho akasathandani nawe

Uma wena nomyeni wakho senike naba nengxoxo, futhi wavuma ukuthi akasathandani nawe, mhlawumbe uyazi ngokuqinisekile ukuthi kusho ukuthini lokho. Kodwa-ke, uma usadidekile ngokutshela ukuthi umyeni wakho akasakuthandi yini, funa lezi zimpawu.

Lezi yizindaba zokuxoxa, izimpawu ezicashile zokwazi lapho umyeni wakho eyeka ukukuthanda.

1. Khulisa ukufunwa kwesikhala somuntu siqu

Kulungile ukufuna isikhala somuntu siqu, kepha lapho isidingo sanda njalo, futhi nobude besikhala somuntu siqu, sithathe njengesibonakaliso sokuthi akasakuthandi.

Umuntu angahle acabange ukuthi lokhu kungenxa yengcindezi yomsebenzi, kepha kungaba uphawu olulodwa lokuthi umyeni wakho akakuthandi. Kuhlala kungcono ukumbuza isizathu ngqo salokhu bese ufuna isisombululo.

2. Nciphisa ukuxhumana noma isikhathi se- 'we'

Khumbula, ukukhulumisana kuyisihluthulelo somshado ojabulisayo.

Lapho abantu ababili bethandana, bayaxhumana. Bathanda ukuchitha isikhathi ndawonye futhi bakhulume ngezinto eziningi, zamanje nezekusasa. Kodwa-ke, lapho umyeni wakho engakuthandi, kuzoba nokwehla okuqhubekayo kwezokuxhumana noma isikhathi 'sethu' enanisithanda nobabili ngesikhathi esisodwa.

Hlala uyibhala njalo, ngoba lokhu kungezinye zezimpawu eziyinhloko umyeni wakho angakuthandi ngayo.

3. Ukwanda okungazelelwe kokulindelwe okungenangqondo

Lapho nisebudlelwaneni, bobabili babophezelekile ukuthi babe nokulindela okuthile komunye nomunye.

Kusobala futhi kungokwemvelo futhi. Kodwa-ke, lokhu okulindelwe kuyenzeka futhi kuyaqondakala uma uthandana. Ngeshwa, njengoba uthando luyancipha, kufakwa okulindelwe okungenangqondo.

Lokhu kwenzeka ukuze umuntu akwazi ukuthethelela ukwehla kothando nothando. Ngakho-ke, uma unomuzwa wokuthi okulindelwe ngumyeni wakho kungaphezu kokufinyeleleka, kungenzeka lapho umyeni wakho engasakuthandi.

4. Ukuphikisana njalo nokulwa

Lapho abantu ababili bezinkolelo nemibono ehlukene behlala ndawonye, ​​izimpikiswano nokungavunyelwa nakanjani kuzokwenzeka.

Lokhu akukaze kusho ukuthi abathandani. Kodwa-ke, lapho lezi zingxabano nokulwa kukhula ngaphandle kwesizathu, kuthathe njengenye yezimpawu umyeni wakho engakuthandi. Lezi zimpi nezimpikiswano kungaba yindlela yakhe yokusho ukuthi akakufuni empilweni yakhe noma ubeka nje uthando lwakhe olufile kuwe.

5. Imizamo eyekiwe nentshisekelo kusukela ekugcineni kwakhe

Esinye sezimpawu umyeni wakho afuna ukukushiya intshisekelo yakhe elahlekile yokugcina umshado. Ubudlelwano busebenza kahle lapho bobabili abantu benentshisekelo elinganayo kukho konke abakwenzayo.

Akukaze kube umbukiso wendoda eyodwa. Kodwa-ke, ukulahla intshisekelo ebudlelwaneni kungenye yezimpawu umyeni wakho akakuthandi ngazo.

Okwamanje lapho beyeka ukufaka imizamo noma ukukhombisa intshisekelo, sekuyisikhathi sokuthi bafuna izinto ziphele futhi abazimisele ukupela ngokuzwakalayo.

6. Ucansi alukho

Ukuxhuma okuqinile kwezocansi kungenye yezinsika zobudlelwano obuqinile.

Uma uthandana nothile, uveza uthando lwakho ngocansi, phakathi kwezinye izinto ezingezona ezocansi. Kodwa-ke, lapho intshisekelo isiphelile, ucansi alusekho.

Ngakho-ke, uma ubona ukuthi impilo yakho yezocansi ingumlando olahlekile, kubheke lokhu njengesinye sezimpawu umyeni wakho engakuthandi ngazo.

Ngaphambi kokuba izinto zibe zimbi kakhulu, khuluma naye ubone ukuthi ungawusindisa yini umshado wakho. Uma kungenjalo, khona-ke kungcono ukuphuma ekugcineni ikhanda liqonde.

Akekho umuntu ongafuna ukuba ubudlelwano noma umshado uphele, kepha kuyeza isikhathi lapho kuzodingeka uthathe ucingo olunzima uma uthola izimpawu ezibalulwe ngenhla kumyeni wakho. Kungenzeka ukuthi abakusho, kepha izenzo zabo ziyikho ngempela.

Ngakho-ke, thatha ucingo bese wenza ngokufanele.

7. Ukungabi nothando

Uma uzizwa ushoda ngokungazelelwe futhi okukhulu kumyeni wakho empilweni yakho yomshado, maningi amathuba okuthi uthando seluphelile. Uthando lukhonjiswa ngezindlela ezincane kakhulu - ezintweni ezincane akwenzela zona ukuze uzizwe uthandwa.

Lapho umyeni wakho eyeka ukukuthanda, angayeka ukwenza lezo zinto.

8. Uyabanda futhi ukude

Uma ubona umyeni wakho eseqala ukubanda kuwe ngezenzo nangamazwi akhe futhi esebenza kude, kungenye yezimpawu zokuthi uthando lwakhe ngawe seluphelile.

Kungenzeka angahlanganyeli lutho olukude nawe futhi futhi noma enza kanjalo, unikeza izimpendulo zegama elilodwa, kuphela emibuzweni adinga ukuyiphendula. Ungase futhi ungamtholi eqala ingxoxo nawe uqobo.

9. Ucasulwa njalo nguwe

Umyeni wakho uzizwa ecasukile ngawe ngaso sonke isikhathi. Noma ungenzanga lutho olumcasulayo, uyakucasukela futhi akuthukuthelele. Lokhu kungenzeka futhi ngoba naye unenkinga yokubhekana nemizwa yakhe - lapho engaqiniseki ukuthi usakuthanda noma cha.

10. Usola ukungathembeki

Uma wena nomyeni wakho benibhekene nesigaba esiyinselele, futhi senakhe nezinkinga zokwethembana naye, amathuba ukuthi uthando phakathi kwenu nobabili, ngeshwa, luye lwafa kancane kancane.

Ukungabaza ngokungathembeki kuyaqhuma lapho omunye noma bobabili abathandanayo bethandana bese beqala ukuphatha omunye umuntu ngezindlela ezibenza bazizwe bengathandwa.

11. Uzizwa uthathelwa phezulu

Ukuzizwa uthathelwa phezulu akuyona imizwa engcono kakhulu lapho usemshadweni noma ebudlelwaneni. Kodwa-ke, ungazizwa ngaleyo ndlela uma umyeni wakho eseqale ukukuthatha kancane.

Uma umyeni wakho engazibongi izinto ezincane omenzela zona futhi azithathe kalula, kungaba esinye sezimpawu umyeni wakho angakwazisi.

12. Uyakugxeka

Akagcini ngokwazisa ngezinto ozenzayo, kepha kunalokho, uthola namaphutha kuzo. Lokhu kungaba ngesinye sezimpawu ezisobala ukuthi umyeni wakho akasathandani nawe.

13. Akakukhumbuli

Lapho umyeni wakho ehamba nohambo lomsebenzi noma ezihlalela nabangane bakhe, ingabe uyakwazisa ukuthi uyakukhumbula? Uma kungenjalo, lesi ngesinye sezimpawu umyeni wakho engasakuthandi.

14. Ube oqaphile ngakuye

Noma nini lapho umyeni wakho ekhona, unakekela ngokwengeziwe okushoyo noma okwenzayo, ngoba wesaba ukuthi uzosabela kanjani. Angase athukuthele noma acasuke lapho kuqhutshwa okuncane, okungaba nzima ukubhekana nakho.

Kodwa-ke, lokhu kusho ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho abusenampilo.

15. Akanendaba nombono wakho

Abantu ababili ebudlelwaneni noma emshadweni bangabalingani abalinganayo. Kodwa-ke, uma eyekile ukunakekela umbono wakho ezindabeni ezinkulu nezincane, lokhu kungaba ngesinye sezimpawu ukuthi umyeni akanendaba nawe.

16. Uhlala nabantu ongabazi

Ngenkathi kubalulekile ukuba neqoqo lakho labangane nendawo yakho eyedwa ebudlelwaneni noma emshadweni, lapho umyeni wakho eqala ukuhlala nabantu abangaphandle kwakho, ikakhulukazi labo ongabazi, kungaba uphawu lokuthi ufuna injabulo ngaphandle komshado wakho.

Lokhu akudingeki ukuthi kube yisifiso sothando, kepha angazizwa enesifiso sokuchitha isikhathi nabantu abangaphandle kwakho.

17. Akazizwa eziswa

Esinye sezimpawu zokuthi umyeni wakho akasathandani nawe kufaka phakathi ukuntula ukwazisa akuzwayo emshadweni. Angazizwa sengathi noma yini ayenzayo ayanele nje, noma ngabe uzama ngakho konke okusemandleni ukumenza azizwe ethandwa futhi ethandwa.

Lo muzwa ungahle uhlobene kakhulu nendlela azizwa ngayo ngomshado wakho kunalokho okwenzayo noma okushoyo.

18. Abusekho ubusuku bosuku

Imishado nobudlelwano akulula ukugcina, futhi kudinga ukuthi wenze umzamo njalo ukugcina inhlansi iphila.

Uma wena nomyeni wakho ningenabo ubusuku obujwayelekile bosuku noma nenza noma yimuphi umzamo wokugcina inhlansi iphila, kungenye yezimpawu umyeni wakho engasathandani nawe.

19. Akahambi ngenkulumo

Uma umyeni wakho ezibophezela ohlelweni noma echitha isikhathi nawe, kuphela ukungalandeli, kungaba esinye sezimpawu zokuthi akasathandani nawe.

20. Uxoxa ngobudlelwano bakho ngendlela engeyinhle

Uma umyeni wakho emubi kakhulu ngobudlelwano bakho nekusasa labo, kungaba uphawu lokuthi umyeni wakho akakuthandi. Ulahlekelwe yithemba ngokuzama ukulungisa izinto nawe futhi akafuni ukwenza noma imuphi umzamo.

21. Akabuyiseli imizamo yakho

Akugcini lapho umyeni wakho engenzi noma yimiphi imizamo yokulungisa umshado wakho, kepha futhi akabuyiseli noma aphendule imizamo yakho. Lokhu kungaba uphawu olucacile lokuthi umyeni wakho akasathandani nawe manje.

22. Uyaxaka futhi uyimfihlo ngezingcingo zakhe

Uma umyeni wakho engasakuthandi, uzomthola exakile futhi eyimfihlo ngocingo lwakhe. Kungenzeka ukuthi kukhona akufihlela okuthile, noma angafuna ukukutshela okuthile ngempilo yakhe.

23. Uphatha abanye kangcono kunawe

Uma umyeni wakho ephatha abanye abantu kangcono ukwedlula yena, phambi kwamehlo akho, kungaba uphawu olucacile lokuthi umyeni wakho akasathandani nawe. Kubukeka sengathi akanendaba nawe kakhulu.

24. Uyekile ukukutshela ukuthi uyakuthanda

Izenzo zikhuluma kakhulu kunamazwi. Kodwa-ke, kwesinye isikhathi amagama angasho lukhulu. Ukutshela oshade naye ukuthi uyabathanda, kaninginingi, kungaba yingxenye ebalulekile yokukhombisa uthando emshadweni.

Kodwa-ke, uma umyeni wakho engakutsheli ukuthi uyakuthanda, empeleni, maningi amathuba okuthi akathandi.

25. Akakhulumi ngekusasa ndawonye

Uma wena nomyeni wakho nisanda kuyeka nje ukukhuluma ngempilo ndawonye, ​​nokuthi yini eniphathele yona nobabili, maningi amathuba okuthi uthando ebeninalo nobabili luphelile. Lapho abantu ababili bethandana, bacabanga futhi bakhulume ngekusasa labo bobabili.

Yini okufanele uyenze lapho umyeni wakho engakuthandi?

Uma lezi zimpawu ezingenhla zibonakala zithandeka kakhulu futhi uqinisekile ukuthi umyeni wakho akasathandani nawe, kusobala ukuthi uzofuna ukwazi ukuthi wenzeni ngakho. Ingabe uyakuyeka nje uhlale emshadweni ongenaluthando? Vele akunjalo.

Akubona bonke abantu abashadile abazizwa bethandana ngokujulile ngaso sonke isikhathi. Noma kunjalo, akusho ukuthi umshado wabo kufanele uphele. Kunezindlela zokukusombulula, okudingekayo yinhloso yokwenza lokho.

Kodwa-ke, kufanele uqonde ukuthi awukwazi ukuzama ukulawula imizwa yendoda yakho, futhi umenze athandane nawe futhi. Ingxoxo eqotho ngemizwa yakho nohlelo lokwenza ngalokhu engqondweni ingakusiza ugcine umshado wakho, futhi uvuselele uthando.

Uma uzama ukwakha umshado wakho nomyeni wakho, ungathatha usizo encwadini kaJohn Gottman, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.

Okubalulekile

Uthando luyisisekelo esiyisisekelo somshado noma ubudlelwane. Kodwa-ke, lokho akusho ukuthi umshado lapho uthando luye lwaqina ngeke ukwazi ukuqiniswa.

Abantu ababili abakwazi ukuzwa bethandana ngaso sonke isikhathi, kepha izinhloso ezifanele zokugcina umshado uqhubeka, bese uthandana futhi nomlingani wakho kungakusiza wakhe umshado nempilo enempilo futhi ejabulisayo.