-Delile
- 1. Ukuzethemba okukhulu
- 2. Ukungabi nozwela
- 3. Uyazithanda
- 4. Khombisa ukuziphatha okukhohlisayo nokuzicabangela wena
- 5. Bukisa
- 6. Charming futhi iphucuziwe
- 7. Uthanda izinto ezinhle
- 8. Abaxoxi ababi
- 9. Impilo yemidiya yokuxhumana esebenzayo
- 10. Hlobisa izindaba nempumelelo
- 11. Izidingo zakhe zingaphezu kwezinye
- 12. Ayikho inhlonipho ngemingcele yomuntu siqu
- 13. Cha nika futhi uthathe
- 14. Isimo esishintshashintshayo
- 15. Iziphathisa okwengane encane
- 16. Awukwazi ukufihla isikhathi eside
- 17. Isikhundla esiphakeme
- 18. Awukwazi ukumelana nokugxekwa
- 19. Akalokothi athathe umthwalo
- 20. Lawula into exakile
Imiphumela yokushada nendoda ethanda izinto zobudlabha ingaba ngokweqile. Okokuqala, kuyinselele kukodwa ukuthola ukuthi ngabe ushade nomuntu othanda izidakamizwa noma cha.
Ngakho-ke ukukusiza ezinkingeni zakho zomshado wobungqingili futhi uqonde ukuhlukunyezwa kwe-narcissistic - nazi izimpawu ezingamashumi amabili ezisobala zokuthi ushade nomuntu othanda ukukhwabanisa.
Futhi bhekisisa: Ukuxhumana ngempumelelo nomuntu osebenzisa izihibe
1. Ukuzethemba okukhulu
Esinye sezimpawu esibonakala futhi esikhanyayo somyeni noma unkosikazi we-narcissist ukuthi umlingani wakho unokuzethemba okukhulu.
Bazibona bephelele futhi behlukile.
Bakholelwa futhi ukuthi le yindlela umndeni wabo, abangane, ontanga, nalabo abahlangana nabo nabo ababona ngoba yilokhu abahlose ukukuphrojusa.
2. Ukungabi nozwela
Esinye isibonakaliso esisobala sokuthi unomlingani we-narcissist ngesabo khuluma ukungabi naluzwela.
Uzwela yikhono lomuntu lokwazi imizwa nemicabango yomunye umuntu. Ungaba umzwelo futhi ungathandani nomuntu.
Noma kunjalo, akufani ngenye indlela ezungezile. Awukwazi ukuba sothandweni noma ukuveza uthando uma ungenalo uzwela.
Khumbula: Uthando alunakwenzeka ngaphandle kozwela, ngoba uzwela luhlukanisa imizwa yokuthatheka nothando lwangempela.
Ukungabi nozwela kungaba nzima ukubona, kepha, kuboniswa ekuziphatheni okunjengokusho izinto eziqonde kuwe ngaphandle kokuthi babone iso.
Uma ushade nomuntu osebenza ngezidakamizwa, ngeke bakhombise ukuzwelana nawe noma omunye umuntu obazungezile (yize bengakwazi ukuzenzisa).
3. Uyazithanda
Akukho lutho oluthandwa yi-narcissist ngaphezu kwakhe. Bathanda ukukhuluma ngabo nezinto abazithandayo. Bahlale bezama ukuqondisa ingxoxo ezungeze bona.
4. Khombisa ukuziphatha okukhohlisayo nokuzicabangela wena
Yize lokhu kungahle kube buthakathaka ukusho, kodwa ngokudabukisayo, umbulali ushada kuphela ngoba angathola okuthile kulowo mshado noma kulowo muntu.
Uma unomlingani oyichilo futhi ubabuza, "niyangithanda ngoba niyangidinga, noma niyangidinga ngoba niyangithanda?"
Ukube bebethembekile, bebezokutshela ukuthi bayakuthanda ngoba bayakudinga.
Kepha-ke, ngeke bakusho lokho ngoba bayazi ukuthi akuyona into odinga ukuyizwa futhi ukukugcina bazokutshela lokho ofuna ukukuzwa. Basebenzisa izindlela ezahlukahlukene zokukhohlisa ukukulawula.
Uma uzibuza ukuthi ngabe ushade nomuntu osebenzisa i-narcissist, kufanelekile ukubheka izindlela zokuzikhohlisa nokuzenzela okuthile. Isibonelo salokhu ukuqothuka kwecala noma ukuqhathanisa okungalungile.
Besebenzisa amandla amagama, kungenzeka bakutshele ukuthi, “Awubongi yini ukuthi ngikushadele?” (ukuhamba ngecala) Noma “Umubi kakhulu ekuphekeni! I-ex yami ibingcono kunawe ”(ukuqhathanisa okungekuhle).
Uma uzwile noma iyiphi yalezi zigatshana, noma efanayo ebudlelwaneni bakho, ungahle ushade nomuntu osebenzisa izinto zobuthongo.
Thatha owethu ‘ingabe ngishade nombuzo we-narcissist’ ukuze wazi ukuthi ngabe ushade ngempela yini nomuntu othanda izidakamizwa.
5. Bukisa
Enye yezimpawu 'zobudoda bomyeni' noma isibonakaliso sozakwethu ongumlingisi isidingo sabo sokukhulisa ukuzazisa kwabo ngokuzihlanganisa nabantu ababalulekile noma abanamandla futhi baziqhayise ngokuhlangana kwabo nabo.
6. Charming futhi iphucuziwe
Ekuqaleni kobudlelwano bakho, awukwazi ukuzibamba kodwa ubheke umyeni noma unkosikazi wakho manje. Uma befika ekamelweni, babezokhanyisa, futhi bekungabi nguwe wedwa obonayo, kodwa wonke umuntu ubonile!
Umlingani wakho ngaleso sikhathi ngabe ubukekayo futhi epholile. Ngisho ephelele! Uphelele kancane, mhlawumbe?
Esinye isibonakaliso esisobala sokuthi ushade nomuntu osebenza ngezidakamizwa ukuthi bahle kakhulu (noma babekhona ekuqaleni - ngenkathi bekuheha).
Ngokuhlola i-charm factor, ungathola ukuthi ushade nomyeni we-narcissist. Ngabe sebeyekile ukuthandeka manje sebekubambile?
Kepha uyababona beheha abanye abantu futhi uzibuze ukuthi yini eshintshile, noma uze ungakuthandi ukukhohliswa okubonayo usujwayele izici zomlingani wakho. Lezi yizimpawu zakudala zokuthi ushade nomuntu osebenza ngezidakamizwa.
7. Uthanda izinto ezinhle
Akukho okunye okuhle kakhulu. A umlingani we-narcissistic angazitika ngokuthenga izingubo ezibizayo nezesekeli ukwethula umuntu ovelele. Ikakhulukazi umuntu ongenalo iqoqo elithile lamakhono.
8. Abaxoxi ababi
Ingxoxo yinhle lapho kunokugeleza okuhle, ukushintshana kwemicabango nemibono eyabiwe phakathi kwabantu ababili noma ngaphezulu.
Kuba ingxoxo embi uma umuntu ephazamisa omunye umuntu bese engenela izindaba zakhe sengathi abanye abantu abaseqenjini abekho.
Sonke sihlangabezane nalolu hlobo lwengxoxo, kepha bewazi ukuthi lokhu kuwuphawu lokuphazamiseka kobuntu kwe-narcissistic?
Vele, akunjalo ngaso sonke isikhathi uma ukunye nomuntu ophuphuma yinjabulo ngokuthile noma okhathazekile futhi okhathazekile ngesimo abangahle basindwe yisimo leso ukuthi bakulalele, kepha iphethini izoba yesikhashana.
Iphethini lokuphazanyiswa ne-narcissist lizohlala likhona.
Lapho ushade nomuntu othanda izinto ezingekho emthethweni, lindela ukuthi izingxoxo zilahlekelwe ukugeleza ngoba umlingani wakho we-narcissistic uzobuyisela ukunaka kubo, ikakhulukazi uma uphambuka ekubanakeni.
9. Impilo yemidiya yokuxhumana esebenzayo
Ukuba nempilo yemidiya yokuxhumana esebenzayo akusho ukuthi umuntu angaba yi-narcissist, kepha lesi sici somyeni othanda ubuthakathi singesinye isiqeshana sephazili.
10. Hlobisa izindaba nempumelelo
Esinye isici sendoda noma unkosikazi oyisidlwangudlwangu ukuthi babelana kanjani ngezindaba zabo kanye nempumelelo kanye (noma nakwicala lama-narcissists) nabanye.
Ungangizwa kabi; akukho lutho olungahambi kahle ngokuba nomuzwa wokufeza okuthile, kepha, kumuntu obheka izinto ezingekho emthethweni, lezi zindaba nokufeza kuhlotshisiwe kangangokuba kungabonakala kungakholeki.
Ukuhlobiswa kwezindaba nempumelelo kuyindlela yokukhohlisa esetshenziswa ngabakwa-narcissists ukwenza abantu babathande.
Ezingeni eliyingozi kakhulu, bangakusebenzisa ukukukhohlisa ukuthi ukholelwe ukuthi unezinkumbulo ezingamanga, okubizwa ngokuthi 'ukukhanyisa igesi.'
11. Izidingo zakhe zingaphezu kwezinye
Umshado kaningi uyinkinga lapho ubeka abalingani bakho ngaphezu kwezakho njengendlela yokukhombisa uthando lwakho nokuzibophezela kwabo kubo.
Kodwa-ke, konke empilweni yomuntu we-narcissist kugxile kuzidingo zakhe. Bajabule uma nje izidingo zabo zifezekiswa. Noma lokho kusho ukuthi kufanele uhlupheke noma ungadelelwa ngempilo yakho.
12. Ayikho inhlonipho ngemingcele yomuntu siqu
Umshado unemithetho, futhi le mithetho yenza ukuthi abantu ababili bakwazi ukukhululeka (kuzwakala kuyindida), kepha uma ucabanga ngakho, kuyiqiniso.
Uma ushade nendoda ethanda ukuzidlalela, ayikho imithetho, futhi ngoba uyayithanda, bazosebenzisa lolu thando onalo ukuze bazikhulule kunoma yimiphi imithetho noma imingcele onayo ngoba, phela, "ingaphezulu" it.
Ukungayihloniphi imingcele yakho kungesinye isibonakaliso sokuthi ushade nomuntu osebenzisa izihibe.
13. Cha nika futhi uthathe
Njengoba kunikezwe ukuthi a umbhali wezinsolo usishaya indiva isimiso esivame kakhulu 'sokuyekethisa' emshadweni, bebengaswela ngisho nozwelo lokukhuluma ngeminikelo yakho.
Kubo, akukho ukunikezwa nokungeniswa ebudlelwaneni bakho, futhi kufanele ngaso sonke isikhathi kube yisikhungo sakho konke ukunakwa.
14. Isimo esishintshashintshayo
Ingabe uzizwa udonswa futhi uphushelwa kude nowakwakho kaningi? Uma uphendule ngokuthi 'yebo,' ungahle ushade nomuntu othanda izidakamizwa.
Ukuziphatha okushisayo nokubandayo kuyindlela yokukukhohlisa ezindleleni zabo zokuzenzela.
Umlingani wakho angakuthanda-ukukuqhumisa namuhla, nakusasa, ngeke baze babambe ucingo lwabo uma ubashayela ucingo.
Uma ubona lokhu noma amaphethini afanayo, umlingani wakho ukunikela ekuqiniseni okufika ngezikhathi ezithile, okwenza uthande, ufune, futhi ubathande nakakhulu.
15. Iziphathisa okwengane encane
Njengoba sikhula futhi siqaphela ngokwengeziwe okusizungezile, sifunda ukuzihlanganisa. Le mfanelo ifakazelwa, ikakhulukazi uma singakutholi esikufisayo.
Okwe-narcissist, noma kunjalo, konke kungokwakho. Bangahamba ibanga elide, bathukuthele, balingise, noma benze indawo uma bengakutholi abakufunayo noma uma ungavumelani nabo.
16. Awukwazi ukufihla isikhathi eside
Umshado ukuzibophezela okubanzi kangangokuthi ngisho narcissist ohlakaniphe kakhulu ngeke akwazi ukufihla imvelo yabo yangempela.
Uma umshado wakho ukhombisa noma yiziphi izimfanelo zobudlelwano bokunqobisa, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, zizoba sobala kakhulu. Ngakho-ke, kulungile ukuthatha isikhathi sakho futhi ungagxeki oshade naye ngokushesha okukhulu.
Banikeze isikhathi, futhi ekugcineni, uzokwazi ukuthi ngabe yibo obucabanga ukuthi bangabo.
17. Isikhundla esiphakeme
Awuqinisekile ukuthi ungazi kanjani ukuthi ushade nomuntu osebenzisa izihibe? Ingabe bayakholelwa ukuthi bangcono kunabo bonke abanye abantu?
Uma kunjalo, khona-ke ungahle ushade nomuntu osebenza ngezidakamizwa.
Bazihlanganisa ngokuqinile nomuntu onengqondo ephakeme kunabanye ababazungezile.
Noma empeleni bengabusiswa ngokuhlakanipha okuningi, kepha bebengakucasukela lokho lapho abantu bengabaphathi njengomuntu ophakeme kunabo.
18. Awukwazi ukumelana nokugxekwa
Njengoba kunikezwe ukuthi i-narcissist ine-ego evumbile, ukukwazi kwabo ukwamukela ukugxekwa kuzoba kuncane kulutho. Noma yiluphi uhlobo lokugxeka ngeke alwamukele, futhi uma othile emgxeka, lungamenza athukuthele ngokweqile.
19. Akalokothi athathe umthwalo
Kuma-narcissist 'akulona iphutha lakhe'. Ungalindeli ukuthi oshade naye oziphethe kabi athwale umthwalo wezenzo zabo.
Kungaba yinkinga emsebenzini, nomngani, noma ngisho nasekhaya, bangaya ebangeni elide kakhulu ukuze bangaxolisi futhi babambisane namaphutha abo.
20. Lawula into exakile
Ukubiza oshade naye ngokuthi 'ukulawula' ngesikhathi sokuphikisana yinto abaningi abayenzile; noma kungelona iqiniso, asihlali sikuqaphela lokho ngesikhathi sezingxabano zethu.
Kodwa-ke, kumyeni othanda ukuhlanekezela noma unkosikazi othanda ukulwa, leli gama liba ngeqiniso kakhulu ngokushesha okukhulu. Isimo esilawulayo somlingani ocasulayo singaholela ebudlelwaneni obuhlukumeza abantu basekhaya.