-Delile
- Ukubhekana nenselelo eyingqayizivele
- Ukuba seqenjini elilodwa
- Ungafaki uphethiloli emlilweni
- Yondla ubuhlobo
- Phishekela ubudlelwano obabufuna
Ubudlelwano besikhathi eside nomshado kubonakaliswa yizinselelo futhi kusongela nobambiswano. Ngemuva kwakho konke, kunesizathu sokuthi “ekuguleni nasempilweni ... kokuhle noma kokubi” sekube yingxenye yokushintshaniswa kwesithembiso somshado okujwayelekile.
Yize ezinye izinselelo zivela ezweni elisizungezile, njengomnotho omubi noma inhlekelele enkulu, ezinye zivela ngaphakathi kobambiswano noma- inselele enkulu okwamanje - kumuntu ophakathi kobudlelwano.
Kubukeka sengathi kubi kakhulu, ukulimala kwe-neurologic njenge ukulimala ebuchosheni kuvame ukwenzeka ngokuzenzekelayo futhi ngaphandle kwephutha kunoma yimuphi umlingani.
Yize ubudlelwano ngemuva kokulimala kabuhlungu ebuchosheni bubhekene nezinselelo ezintsha. Kepha lezi zinselelo azinakunqotshwa, futhi uma uzulazulwa kahle kungaletha nobudlelwano eduze.
Ukubhekana nenselelo eyingqayizivele
Kuyafuneka ukugqamisa ukuthi imicimbi yezokwelapha nokuxilongwa kwehlukile kwezinye izinsongo ebudlelwaneni. Yize singeke sikubone ezingeni lokuqonda, ukulimala ebuchosheni kungabeka ubunzima obuyingqayizivele ebuhlotsheni obunikezwe indawo eyakhiwe kuyo.
Umnotho othokomele noma inhlekelele enkulu ivela ezweni elisizungezile, icindezela kanzima ebudlelwaneni obuvela ngaphandle.
Yize kuvunywa kucindezela, imicimbi enjalo evela ngaphandle ingaba nomphumela wokusondelana kothandana naye.
Ezimweni ezinjalo, ukuze usekele umlingani wakho, kufanele "uzungeze izinqola" noma "ungene" ku khuthazelela ubunzima ohlanganyele obudalelwe isiphetho phezu kwabo.
Njenge-graphite ephendulwe idayimane ngokushisa nengcindezi, ophathina abasebenza ndawonye ukunqoba inselelo bangaphumelela ngokunqoba futhi babe namandla ayo.
Yize imicimbi yezokwelapha nokuxilongwa kuthwala ubunzima obufanayo, indawo yesizinda yenza izinto zibe nzima.
Izwe elizungeze ubudlelwano alinakusolwa; ukucindezela okungalindelekile yisimo sezokwelapha somlingani oyedwa ebudlelwaneni. Ngokushesha lowo muntu angaba yilowo odinga kakhulu futhi angakwazi ukunikela.
Ngaphandle kwemizamo emihle eyenziwa yiwo wonke umuntu, lokho kushukumiseka kungaveza imizwa yentukuthelo. Kubalulekile ngalezo zikhathi ukukhumbula ukuthi ophathina baseqenjini elilodwa.
Ukuba seqenjini elilodwa
Ukwamukela nokwazi izinselelo ezihlukile zomshado noma ubudlelwano ngemuva kokuhlukumezeka kuyingxenye yempi. Okunye okubalulekile ukwenziwa kozakwethu ukuze basekele ngokugula nangezempilo ukuthola nokuhlala eqenjini elilodwa.
Kuyindida-ke nokho ukuthi ubuchopho bethu obuyinkimbinkimbi bomuntu bungenza lokhu kube nzima.
Uyabona, njengabantu, kuyindalo yethu ukuhlukanisa izinto ngezigaba. Ukuziphatha ngokwezigaba kungumkhiqizo wokukhethwa kwemvelo, kusisiza ukuba siphile ngokusheshisa ukwenza izinqumo, futhi sikubona kuvela ekuqaleni kobuntwana.
Into ingaphepha noma ibe yingozi; isilwane singaba nobungane noma sikhohlakele; isimo sezulu singaba mnandi noma singakhululeki; umuntu angasiza noma aphazamise imizamo yethu enjabulweni.
Njengoba sikhula, sifunda umhlaba, futhi izici zawo eziningi zimpunga kunokuba “mnyama nokumhlophe,” kepha umuzwa wokuhlukanisa ngezigaba uhlala.
Ngakho-ke, lapho umuntu esimthandayo ehlushwa umcimbi wezokwelapha okhubazekile okwesikhashana noma unomphela, umuzwa wethu wokuhlukaniswa ngezigaba ungadala indida enonya, uhlukanise othandekayo "njengomuntu omubi" osendleleni yenjabulo yethu.
Lokhu kungenzeka ngoba leyo ngxenye yokusinda yokuhlukaniswa ngezigaba isifundisa - kusukela ebuncaneni - ukuya kokuhle futhi kude nokubi.
Ebudlelwaneni ngemuva kokulimala kanzima ebuchosheni, izinselelo eziningi nezibopho zivela kozakwethu ongalimele. Kepha osindile akabenzi ubunzima - ukulimala kwabo ebuchosheni.
Inkinga ukuthi ingqondo yethu yokuhlukanisa izigaba ingabuka kuphela osindile, hhayi ukulimala kobuchopho. Owasinda, manje oswele futhi ongakwazi ukunikela, angahle ahlukaniswe ngephutha njengababi.
Kepha okubi ukulimala kobuchopho, hhayi osindile owakugcina. Futhi kulapho kukhona indida enonya: Ukulimala ebuchosheni kuthinte osindile, kepha ngokuguqula indlela aziphethe ngayo noma ubuntu bakhe, kungadala ukuthi ubuchopho bomlingani abeke imikhakha engafanele kumuntu osindile.
Yize umuntu oyedwa athola ukulimala ebuchosheni, ngethemba ukuthi kuyacaca manje ukuthi ubudlelwane babuqinisa.
Ozakwethu abangakhumbuzana - kanye nabo ngokwabo - ukuthi ukulimala kwengqondo ngumuntu omubi onganqoba "mina kuqhathaniswa nawe" ukuthi ukuhlukaniswa kwemvelo okungadala iphutha.
Bangakwazi ngasohlangothini olufanayo lwempi "yethu ngokuqhathaniswa nokulimala kwengqondo". Futhi kwesinye isikhathi kungatholakala ngesikhumbuzo esilula: “Hheyi, khumbula, siseqenjini elilodwa.”
Ungafaki uphethiloli emlilweni
Isici esisobala sokuba seqenjini elilodwa ukuthi ayisebenzi ngokumelene nezinhloso zeqembu.
Abadlali bebhola likanobhutshuzwayo abalikhahleli ibhola libabhekise kumagoli abo, angithi. Kubonakala kulula ngokwanele, kepha lapho imizwa efana nokukhungatheka noma intukuthelo ithatha indawo futhi ihola indlela esiziphatha ngayo, singenza izinto ezenza isimo sibe sibi kakhulu.
Musa ukubanjwa yile mizwa bese ufaka umlilo emlilweni.
Kwabasindile, phikisana ngokuqinile nemizwa yokungabi namsebenzi noma yokuba yisisulu.
Enye yezinto ezimbi kakhulu ongazenza osindile - ebudlelwaneni babo ngemuva kokulimala ebuchosheni - ukuxubana nomqondo wokuthi bayisisulu noma abalutho.
Kuliqiniso, osindile angahle angakwazi ukwenza izinto ezithile kunakuqala, kepha ukugxila ngokunganaki emakhono alahlekile kwenza kube nzima ukubona amandla asele.
Kwabalingani abangazange bakulondoloze ukulimala kwengqondo, ungamcwabi noma umsize osindile osindile.
Ukusinda ukulimala ebuchosheni futhi ululame kukho kunzima ngokwanele ngaphandle kokwenziwa uzizwe uyingane noma ucwaswa ngumlingani wakho. Futhi uma umgomo weqembu uvuselela osindile, ukufakwa kwentsana kususa ibhola kude naleyo njongo.
Futhi, ungesabi ukukhombisa ukuba sengozini. Ozakwethu abangalimele bangazizwa bephoqelekile ukuthi babonakale ngathi "banakho konke ukulawula," kepha lokho kaningi akunjalo, futhi i-façade ivame ukungaqiniseki noma kunjalo.
Ngenye indlela, ukwamukela nokwabelana ngemizwa yokuba sengozini kungaqinisekisa osindile ukuthi akayedwa ekulweni noshintsho.
Yondla ubuhlobo
Ebudlelwaneni ngemuva kokulimala kwengqondo okulimazayo, abalingani kumele bazame ukungasebenzi ngokumelene nezinhloso ezabiwe, kodwa futhi akwanele.
Noma yibuphi ubudlelwano bothando kufanele bondliwe endleleni uma buzohlala. Ngemuva kwakho konke, ngisho nesitshalo sendlu - esivikelwe ezinambuzaneni nasezintweni ezingaphandle ezinzima - sisazobuna futhi sife uma singanikezwa amanzi, ukudla nenani elifanele lelanga.
Ngoba abasindile, thola izindlela zokusebenzisa. Thola izenzo ezithile bese uzibophezela ukuzenza, uphile umgomo owabiwe wobudlelwano wokuvuselela.
Abasindile kufanele futhi basekele abalingani babo emithwalweni emisha. Ozakwethu bangathatha imithwalo yemfanelo emisha eyake yaba eyabasindile (isb., Ukupheka, umsebenzi wegceke).
Abasindile bangasiza ophathina babo ngokwamukela lolu shintsho kanye nemizwa eza nalo, ngokunikela ngosizo kanye nokuholwa (ikakhulukazi uma kungenxa yokugxekwa okufana nokuthi "angisona indlela ebengikwenza ngayo lokho.")
Okokugcina, abasindile bangacela abangani nomndeni ukuthi basize abalingani babo.
Ozakwethu abangalimele bangazizwa benqena ukufuna usizo ngoba bazizwa sengathi "kufanele bakwazi ukuphatha izinto" bebodwa.
Yize kukuhle ukusebenza nganoma yikuphi okulindelwe okungenangqondo, ukukhululeka okusheshayo kungalethwa uma osindile ecela usizo kubangane, umndeni, nabanye abasekeli.
Ngoba ophathina, siza umlingani wakho athole izindlela ezintsha (noma ulungise izindlela ezindala) ezizosetshenziswa.
Uma abalingani beyeka umbono wokuthi abasindile kuningi abangakwenza, bahlangana nomqondo wokuthi bawumthwalo noma bagxila kulokho abangakwazi ukukwenza, kuzoba nzima kakhulu ukuthi abasindile banikele.
Phishekela ubudlelwano obabufuna
Umuntu angahlukanisa ezinye zezincomo ezingenhla njengokunciphisa ukulimala ebudlelwaneni obudalwe ukulimala kwengqondo. Yize kungenathemba, lokho kuhlukaniswa kwezigaba akulona iqiniso ngokuphelele.
Masibe nobulungiswa futhi samukele iqiniso elibuhlungu: ngokuthile okuguqula impilo njengokulimala kobuchopho, into enhle yalokho okulandelayo ukulawula ukulimala. Kepha ukulawulwa komonakalo akudingeki kube ukuphela kokuphendula.
Njengoba kushiwo esigabeni sokuqala sale kholamu, ukulimala ebuchosheni kuletha inselelo nganoma yiliphi izinga. Kepha ngokuguquguquka okuncane kwengqondo, singakubona futhi njengethuba.
Ozakwethu ebudlelwaneni ngemuva kokulimala kanzima ebuchosheni baphoqeleka ukuthi baphinde bahlole ukuthi bami kuphi nokuthi yini ebalulekile kubo.
Uma ufisa, ngesenzo sokuzibophezela futhi uqondiswa ngamanani abiwe, futhi kungakhuthaza ukukhula nokuziphendukela kwemvelo kubheke ezinhlosweni ezabiwe zabalingani.
Unalokho engqondweni, futhi njengoba izindima, imisebenzi, nokulindelwe kuguquka, kufanelekile ukuzama ukuqhubekela ebudlelwaneni obufunayo - ukulimala kwengqondo noma cha.
Ngakho-ke, qhubeka ube nobusuku bosuku uma ungahambi ngaphambi kokulimala kwengqondo.
Bonke abalingani kufanele bakhulise ubudlelwano babo nesikhathi abasichitha bodwa.Leso sikhathi sindawonye ngokulinganayo, uma kungabalulekanga kangako, kunangaphambi kwengcindezi eyengeziwe ebudlelwaneni ngemuva kokulimala kwengqondo okulimazayo.
Cabanga ngokululekwa kwezithandani nomelaphi wezinkulumo.
Ukwelulekwa kombhangqwana kungasiza ekwenzeni izingxoxo phakathi kozakwethu, ukukhomba imithombo ephindaphindanayo yengxabano, nokunikeza izeluleko ezakhayo noma ukuhlinzeka ngamathuluzi nezinsizakusebenza.
Futhi uma kusebenza, cabanga ukwelashwa ngokocansi nomelaphi osebenza noma omunye uchwepheshe.
Ngenxa yemiphumela ehlukahlukene yokulimala kobuchopho (ngokomzimba nangokwengqondo), futhi ngoba ukusondelana ngokomzimba kuyinto ebalulekile kunoma yibuphi ubudlelwano bezothando, uchwepheshe angakwazi ukusiza imibhangqwana ekuqiniseni noma ekubuyiseni ukusondelana ngokocansi ebudlelwaneni babo.