-Delile
- Ideshi lobuhlobo beqiniso
- Lokho esingakufundi esikoleni
- Ubudlelwano obukhulu benziwa, hhayi ukuzalwa
- Lapho izinto zintsha futhi zithandeka
- Phansi komgwaqo ngaphandle kwesondlo
- Phakade yisikhathi eside
- Sungula uhlelo lwakho lokugcinwa kobudlelwano
Ukugcina ubuhlobo obenelisayo, obusekelayo besikhathi eside kudinga sina amakhono. Futhi njenganoma imuphi umsebenzi odinga amakhono abucayi, kungaba ngumsebenzi onzima ngezikhathi ezithile. Kungakhungathekisa kakhulu. Futhi kungathatha ukubekezela okukhulu.
Ideshi lobuhlobo beqiniso
Vele, asihlali sicabanga kakhulu ngalolo hlangothi lwezinto lapho siphakathi kokugijimisana okuyisisekelo kwesigaba sangemva komshado nabalingani bethu. Kodwa-ke, ukunonga umbono wakho ngedeshi elincane lamaqiniso ekuqaleni kobudlelwano obusha sha-kungasiza ukukusethela impumelelo ekugcineni, ngoba ukuqala ukujwayela ukwenza imisebenzi yokulungisa ubudlelwane ngenkathi ubudlelwano busemusha buzokwenza izimanga ukuvimbela izinkinga ukuthi zivele emgwaqeni.
Lokho esingakufundi esikoleni
Kudingeka sifunde lokho okubhekwa njengamakhono empilo ayisisekelo ekukhuleni esikoleni — ukufunda nokubhala, izibalo, isayensi nemfundo yokuvivinya umzimba. Ikharikhulamu ejwayelekile yesikole samabanga aphakeme yaseMelika ibuye ifake nenqwaba yezinketho ezifana nebhendi, i-orchestra, ubuciko bokupheka, ukusebenza ngokhuni, isitolo sezimoto, nokunye okunjalo. Okushoda ngokugqamile kulolu hlelo lwezifundo, noma kunjalo, yi-Relationship Maintenance 101.
Ubudlelwano obukhulu benziwa, hhayi ukuzalwa
Ngeshwa, izinga lethu eliphakeme lezehlukaniso likazwelonke libonakala likukhombisa lokhu, futhi akumangalisi, empeleni. Uma singafundiswanga zisencane amakhono ayisisekelo adingekayo ukugcina ubuhlobo obuyimpumelelo besikhathi eside, khona-ke sisale sidangele ebumnyameni lapho sithola Iyona yodwa. Ngaphandle kwalokho abantu abaningi ababonakala bekukholelwa, ubudlelwano obenelisayo, obusekelanayo akuyona into abantu abaningi abawela kubo ngokwemvelo, futhi akuwona umsebenzi wokuthi ngabe oyedwa noma bobabili abalingani ebudlelwaneni ngokwemvelo "bahle" noma "babi" abantu. Ngisho nobudlelwano obuqine kakhulu bunethuba lokuya eningizimu uma bobabili abalingani bengayenzi indima yabo ukuyigcina.
Lapho izinto zintsha futhi zithandeka
Cabanga ukuthi ungumnikazi omusha oziqhenyayo wemoto yakudala enhle, ecwebezelayo nenesimo esesimeni esiphakeme. Kuyinto yokudlulisa ngesandla, ngakho-ke kuthatha isikhashana ukuthi ufunde ukuthi ungayishayela kanjani, kepha okhiye basesandleni sakho, nomoya usezinweleni zakho, futhi yonke into iyathokozisa futhi iyinoveli ezwakala sengathi uyiyo intanta emoyeni zonke izinyathelo zendlela. Lapho-ke uma usufunde ukushayela leyo moto, ulapho emhlabeni naleyo moto enhle, enhle, ehamba izindawo, okwenza izinto zenzeke, usazizwa kahle. Kuhle!
Unjalo ubuhlobo obusha. Kuyamangalisa. Undizela phezulu ekuzweleni okuhle kweNew Relationship Energy (NRE)!
Phansi komgwaqo ngaphandle kwesondlo
Manje ake ucabange ukuthi awukaze ufunde ngokulungiswa kwezimoto, ngakho-ke awuthathi izinyathelo ezidingekayo zokunakekela imoto yakho entsha ecwebezelayo. Ngemuva kokudlula isikhashana — kungashintshiwe uwoyela, kungashintshaniswa amasondo, kungekho ukuwashwa kwezimoto noma ama-wax nanoma yini enye — uyabona ukuthi imoto ayisacwebezeli kangako, futhi yenza umsindo ohlekisayo ongayithandi, futhi yawina 't ukushayela ngokushelela njengoba kwakuvame ukwenza. Mhlawumbe ngolunye usuku uyaphaphama, futhi injini nje iflat-out iyenqaba ukuqala. Ukubaluleka kudinga ukuthi ekugcineni ube nomakhenikha awubheke, bese kuvela ... leyo moto ayihambi noma kuphi ngaphandle kokukhokhelwa okubizayo futhi okuyinkimbinkimbi.
Phakade yisikhathi eside
Ungavumeli ubudlelwano bakho bahlupheke ngokufana naleyo moto empofu, enganakwa! Ngemuva kwakho konke, "uthando lwakho lwaphakade" nomlingani wakho kufanele luhlale isikhathi eside kangako — kuze kube phakade. Ngakho-ke qiniseka ukuthi uyalunakekela uthando lwakho lwaphakade okungenani ngo-LEAST ophindwe kayishumi inani lomzamo ongawenza ukondla imoto yakho. Mhlawumbe ngisho nokuphindwe kayikhulu. Noma inkulungwane! Uthando olungapheli lukufanele, akunjalo?
Sungula uhlelo lwakho lokugcinwa kobudlelwano
Uma ungazi ukuthi ungaqala kuphi, hlola bese ubona ukuthi ayikho yini imifundaze yokuqeqesha abashadikazi noma izingqungquthela zokuzithuthukisa endaweni yangakini. Lezi zinhlobo zemicimbi zingaba zinhle ngokuthola umbono omusha nokuthatha amathuluzi amasha okuxhumana nawokucebisa ngobudlelwano.
Ngokuvamile, noma kunjalo, ukugcinwa kobudlelwano kufanele kufake (kepha kungagcini lapho) imisebenzi efana nale:
- Ukuhlanganyela ngezikhathi ezithile zokungena nomlingani wakho ukuthatha izinga lokushisa lobudlelwano futhi nikhulume ngalokho okungathuthukiswa;
- Ukuxubha amakhono akho okuxhumana njalo;
- Ukulawula ngenkuthalo izingcindezi zokuphila kwansuku zonke ukuze zingabubukeli phansi ubuhlobo bakho;
- Ukudala isikhathi nendawo yokuxhumeka okuvamile nokusondelana.
Khuluma nomlingani wakho nihlele ukuthi yini eningayenza ngamunye nsuku zonke, masonto onke, ngenyanga, nonyaka ukugcina ubudlelwano benu busesimweni esiphezulu futhi buhamba kahle. Ngokulungiswa okuvamile kusukela ekuqaleni, uthando lwakho lwaphakade luzokwazi ukuphatha ngisho namajika abukhali emgwaqweni wempilo ngomusa nangesitayela.