-Delile
- Isigaba 1: Ukuziba okungekuhle
- Isigaba 2: Ukungathandi
- Isigaba 3: Ukuhoxiswa okusebenzayo
- Isigaba 4: Izimfihlo
Lapho sizwa igama elithi "ukukhaphela" ngaphakathi komongo womshado abaningi bacabanga ngokushesha ngokuthandana noma ukungathembeki ebudlelwaneni. Yize zombili lezo ziwuhlobo lokukhaphela, iqiniso ukuthi kukhona okuningi ukukhashelwa emshadweni- iningi lalo “imibhangqwana ejabulayo” elenzelana omunye nomunye kaningi, ngisho nansuku zonke.
Imibhangqwana efuna ukwelulekwa ngokwengqondo kaningi kunalokho yenza kanjalo ukusiza ukulungisa imishado yabo. Ngokuvikela ngokuqinile isenzo esilandelayo sokukhaphela, imibhangqwana ingasebenzela UKUVIMELA ukulimala ebudlelwaneni. Ukukhaphela kungahlukaniswa ngezigaba ezi-4: Ukuziba Okubi, Ukungabi Nesithakazelo, Ukuhoxiswa Okusebenzayo Nezimfihlo.
Isigaba 1: Ukuziba okungekuhle
Yilapho ukuqala kokuphela kuvame ukuqala khona. Lapho imibhangqwana (noma ingxenye eyodwa yombhangqwana) iqala ukufulathela enye ngenhloso kuyisibonakaliso sokuqala sokukhaphela. Okuthile okulula njengokungaphenduli lapho uzakwethu ethi "wow - bheka lokho!" noma "Nginokuthile okuthakazelisayo kwenzeke namuhla ...." Ukugquma okulinganiselwe noma kungekho mpendulo kuqala ukwahlukana phakathi kwabalingani futhi kungakha intukuthelo. Lokhu kungazinaki izikhathi zokuxhuma kuholela esifiso esincane sokuxhuma okuqhubekayo futhi okungadabula ubudlelwane.
Kulesi sigaba abalingani nabo bangazithola beqhathanisa abalingani babo ngokungafanele nabanye. "Umyeni ka-Amy akalokothi akhononde ngalokhu ....." noma "Unkosikazi kaBrad okungenani uzama ukuzilolonga." Noma lawo mazwana abiwa ngomlomo nomlingani, ukuba nokuqhathanisa okungekuhle kuqala ukuhlukanisa umbhangqwana futhi wakhe iphethini yokucabanga engemihle komunye nomunye. Ukusuka kulokhu, akusona isinyathelo esinzima ukufinyelela ezingeni lapho ukuncika komunye nomunye kuncipha khona futhi kucatshangwa ukuthi omunye akekho lapho kufunwa / kudingeka. Lokhu kukhaphela kuvame ukuvela njengohlu lwengqondo lokuhlanza amaphutha ophathina. Ukucabanga ngomqondo wokuthi “umyeni wami akanalwazi uma kuziwa ekwazini ukuthi ngilinganisela kanjani izimpilo zethu” noma “unkosikazi wami akazi nakancane ukuthi ngenzani usuku lonke” kungabonakala kuyindlela yokuqhuma umoya kodwa empeleni kuwukukhaphela ubudlelwano. Imicabango eminingi nokuziphatha okunjalo kuholela ekukhohlisweni okukhulu okutholakala esigabeni 2.
Isigaba 2: Ukungathandi
Lapho ubudlelwane buhlangana nokuziphatha kusuka esigabeni 2, kuyindlela eqhubeka kakhulu yokukhaphela. Lesi sigaba sidinga ukuthi abantu baqale ukungabi nentshisekelo komunye nomunye futhi baziphathe ngokufanele. Bayayeka ukwaba okuningi nomunye (isb. Impendulo yokuthi "belunjani usuku lwakho" imvamisa "ilungile" futhi akukho okunye.) Isifiso sokwabelana ngesikhathi, imizamo nokunakwa okujwayelekile kuqala ukwehla. Izikhathi eziningi kuba nokushintshwa kokunakwa / kwamandla futhi esikhundleni sokuwabelana nomlingani wakho lawo mandla / ukunaka kuqala ukuya kobunye ubudlelwano (okusho ukubeka phambili ubungani noma izingane ngaphezu komlingani) noma ukunakwa kungahamba kakhulu ekuphazamiseni (okusho ezokuxhumana )
Isigaba 3: Ukuhoxiswa okusebenzayo
Ukuziphatha kokukhaphela kusuka esigabeni 3 kungenye yezinto ezilimaza kakhulu ubuhlobo. Lesi sigaba simayelana nokuhoxa ngamandla kumlingani wakho. Ukuziphatha komunye nomunye kuvame ukubucayi noma ukuzivikela. Iningi labantu liyakwazi ukukhomba lo mbhangqwana- ngaphandle uma kunguwo. Lezi zithandani ezivikelayo nezigxekayo ziyashesha ukwahlulelana, zimfishane, zikhombisa ukukhungatheka ngokushesha futhi kaningi ngamazwi noma ngokomzimba zikhombisa ukucasula ezinye ngezinto ezilula ezingafanelwe impendulo abayitholayo kulesi sigaba.
Ozakwethu bazizwa benesizungu esigabeni sesi-3 ngisho nakomunye nomunye njengoba ukuxhumana sekukubi kakhulu kunzima ukuxhuma futhi. Kukhona ukusondelana okulinganiselwe ngalesi sigaba ... futhi isifiso sokuqala noma yini yothando asikho. Okunye ukukhashelwa okuvame kakhulu kulesi sigaba “ukuchitha” umlingani kwabanye. Lokhu akugcini nje ngokungahloniphi kepha esidlangalaleni kwabelana ngokuwohloka komshado, kukhuthaza abanye ukuthi bakhethe izinhlangothi futhi bavumelane nesimo sengqondo esingesihle futhi bagxume emaceleni. Ozakwethu phakathi nalesi sigaba kungenzeka bagcine amarekhodi ngokushiyeka komunye nomunye, bazizwe benesizungu baze baqale ukuvumela izingqondo zabo zizulazule “Ngiyazibuza ukuthi ngingajabula yini ngedwa .... noma nomunye umuntu ....” Futhi nini imicabango enjalo nokukhaphela kungena ebudlelwaneni, isigaba 4 asikude kakhulu.
Isigaba 4: Izimfihlo
Isigaba Sezimfihlo kulapho ukuphela sekusondele. Ukukhaphela sekuyindlela yokuphila ebudlelwaneni. Ingxenye eyodwa noma zombili zombhangqwana zigcina izimfihlo komunye. Izinto ezifana nekhadi lesikweletu enye engazi ngayo noma enamarekhodi ayo, ama-imeyili angaziwa, ama-akhawunti wezokuxhumana, ukudla kwasemini, osebenza / umngani obaluleke kakhulu kunalokho okufanele abe nakho, imisebenzi usuku lonke, isikhathi esichithwa ku-inthanethi, ngokwezimali noma nozakwethu. Lapho abalingani behlanganyela kancane - lapho ukukhaphela kwakha ngokwengeziwe. Lokhu kuyiqiniso ngisho noma ukungathembeki kungangenanga ebudlelwaneni. Njengoba izicingo ezincane zemfihlo zakhiwa futhi ukuhlala ubudlelwane obusobala kuba yinto engenakwenzeka, ubudlelwano busuka ekubambeni izimfihlo ezincane kuya kwezinkulu- futhi ukukhaphela kuyakha.
Ekujuleni kwesigaba 4, kulula impela ukuthi umlingani weqe imingcele angene kolunye ubudlelwano. Imvamisa, ukujola akukhona ukuthola uthando nomunye umuntu kodwa kunalokho kungokuthola isilaleli, uthando, ukuxhumana ngozwela nokuphumula ezingxabanweni zomshado. Lapho izigaba zokukhaphela sezingene kakhulu ebudlelwaneni, ukweqa imingcele kuya ekukhohlisweni okungaphezulu cishe kuyisinyathelo esilandelayo esinengqondo sabalingani.
Ngenkathi izigaba zibhalwe ngokulandelana kungenzeka ukuthi imibhangqwana / abantu ngabanye bagxume kuzo zonke izigaba ngokuziphatha kwabo. Ukunaka noma isiphi isinyathelo sokukhaphela - kungakhathalekile ukuthi yisiphi isigaba - kubalulekile ekuphumeleleni kobudlelwano. Lapho ukukhaphela kugwenywa kakhulu ebudlelwaneni, kuyoqina lapho! Ukunaka ekuziphatheni okuvela kuye nakuzakwethu kubalulekile. Ukuzazi nokuzimisela ukuxoxa ngokwethembeka lapho kube khona ukukhashelwa (noma ukuqonda okukodwa) ukuphela kwendlela yokuvikela ekukhohlisweni okuzayo futhi kumise izenzo ekuqhubekeni ngezinyathelo.