-Delile
- Isitayela esinolaka sokuxhumana komshado
- Ukwenza ukuzibandakanya ngamatshe amakhulu nokukugwema ngokusobala
- Sikusola ukuthi ube yinqaba yokulawula
- Ukwala ukwelashwa
- Isitayela sokuxhumana esinolaka sithuthukisa ubutha
- Isinyathelo sokuqala sokwenza ngcono ukuxhumana kwakho
- Zicabange usho okuthile koshade naye, cabanga ukuthi bazophendula bathini
- Thatha isikhathi sokucabanga ngempendulo efanelekile kumlingani wakho
- Kubalulekile ukuthi uzinakekele
Ingabe oshade naye unolaka? Mhlawumbe ingane yakho? Okuningi engizokusho lapha kusebenza kwabashadile nasentsheni.
Isitayela esinolaka sokuxhumana komshado
Ngabe uzithola ukhungatheka lapho imibuzo yakho ebonakala inengqondo ingaphendulwa futhi uzama ukuxhumana kuthuliswa? Ngabe ubathukuthelile amandla abo okuguqula izinto ukuze lokho obekuyinkinga yokuqala ezungeze okuthile abakwenzile obufuna ukuxoxa ngakho manje sekwaba yintukuthelo yakho?
Uma lokhu kuzwakala kujwayelekile, kungenzeka ukuthi ushade nomuntu onesitayela sokuxhumana somshado esingenzi lutho.
Esinye isibonelo kungaba esimweni lapho bakonile khona.
Umuntu osebenzisa isitayela sokuxhumana esinolaka-nolaka unamandla angaqondakali okuthi ngandlela-thile abe yisisulu.
Ukwenza ukuzibandakanya ngamatshe amakhulu nokukugwema ngokusobala
Oshade naye onolaka angavala ingxoxo ngokwala ukuxoxa ngezinto ngokuqhubekayo bese ekubeka icala lapho, ngenxa yokukhungatheka, uphishekela ingxabano.
Bangase basho izinto ezinjengokuthi: “Le yindlela ohlala uthola ngayo, umemeza, futhi ube nolaka kangaka! Ngeke wazi ukuthi ungamisa nini-imibuzo yakho. ” Noma “akukho okuzokhulunywa ngakho. Uhlala wenza lokhu. Ufuna izinkinga. ”
Bangase bahlanganyele nase-Stonewalling-benqaba ukukhuluma nawe futhi bagweme imizamo yakho yokukhuluma nabo ngokuthula ngokucasuka, futhi bakugweme ngokuphelele. Imibhalo yakho ayiphendulwa amahora amaningi noma mhlawumbe ingaphendulwa, ixhumana kancane, futhi ingakuthinta ekuxhumaneni namanye amalungu omndeni, njengezingane zakho.
Sikusola ukuthi ube yinqaba yokulawula
Bangase bavume ukwenza okuthile, bangakwenzi, bese kuthi lapho ubhekana nabo, bakugomela ngokuthi uyalawula.
Izindaba ezimbi-ke ukuthi une-Passive-Aggressive Spouse.
Izindaba ezinhle ukuthi kunezindlela ongathuthukisa ngazo isitayela sakho sokuxhumana nabo ukuze kugwenywe isicupho esinolaka. Kubalulekile ukuthi ukwandise ukuqonda kwakho ngephethini engasebenzi kahle okuyo nomlingani wakho.
Ulaka lokungenzi lutho lusekelwe ekulawuleni.
Ngokungaxhumani nangokuphambukisa ukunaka emuva kokwenzayo, baba namandla futhi bamelane nokulwa ngokungaqondile.
Ukwala ukwelashwa
Umphumela walowo oshade naye ongahlukumezi ngukuthi bazizwa bekhungathekile, bethukuthele, futhi kwesinye isikhathi ngenxa yokuphelelwa yithemba, benza into enolaka. Udaba lwangempela lulahlekile njengoba manje kugxilwe ekuziphatheni kwakho okubi.
Nansi ingxenye enhle kakhulu: bavame ukwenqaba ukuyokwelashwa. Uma bevuma, benza ngoba beqinisekile ukuthi umelaphi uzokutshela ukuthi nguwe owonakele. Futhi empeleni, ngesikhathi nobabili nifika ekwelulekeni ngemishado, cishe nizobe senenze amaphutha ambalwa ekusebenzelaneni nomlingani wakho onolaka.
Isitayela sokuxhumana esinolaka sithuthukisa ubutha
Impela, kunoma yibuphi ubudlelwano, zombili izinhlangothi kufanele zibhekane nezingqinamba ebudlelwaneni bazo. Kepha futhi, kuyingxenye yomjikelezo wokuxhumana onolaka lapho ubudlwangudlwangu babo bukhuthaza ukungezwani, ukuhlukana ekuxhumaneni, kanye nobutha obuvela kubalingani babo.
Ngakho-ke, yini okufanele uyenze?
Oshade naye osebenzisa amaqhinga okuhlukumeza kunzima kakhulu ukubonisana naye. Futhi ekugcineni, asikwazi ukulawula abanye abantu, singazilawula thina kuphela.
Isinyathelo sokuqala sokwenza ngcono ukuxhumana kwakho
Ngakho-ke isinyathelo sokuqala sokwenza ngcono ukuxhumana kwakho nomuntu onobudlova ukufunda indlela yokuphendula futhi ungaphenduli ekuziphatheni kwabo. Ngiyazi, kuyinselele!
Kepha uma uzijwayeza ukunciphisa ukusebenza kwakho kabusha uma ungekho enkingeni noma ucasukile, ngeke usabele kahle lapho kunenkinga ngempela.
Ukungasebenzi kahle kungenzeka kukunikeze amandla aphezulu.
Uma uzithola ubhekene nokuthula kwamatshe noma ukugwema oshade naye, thatha isikhashana ukuphefumula, bese ubukeza ngokwengqondo ukuthi iphethini yakho ejwayelekile yokuxhumana kanjani noshade naye.
Zicabange usho okuthile koshade naye, cabanga ukuthi bazophendula bathini
Cabanga ukukhula, ukukhungatheka okukhulayo, futhi ekugcineni, zicabange uhamba ucasukile, ukhathele futhi ungajabule.
Manje zibuze, uma kufanele uqhubeke nephethini ejwayelekile, noma kunengqondo ukuzithulisa, uthathe isikhathi sakho ucabanga ngempendulo efanele, uthathe isikhala.
Kwesinye isikhathi, oshade naye onolaka uzolizwa ibanga olithathile futhi azohambela ngakuwe. Akusebenzi ngaso sonke isikhathi, kepha kuyisu elingcono kakhulu kunesimo esivamile sokukhuphuka, ukukhungatheka, nebanga elithathwe owakwakho.
Thatha isikhathi sokucabanga ngempendulo efanelekile kumlingani wakho
Yenza impendulo ibe mfushane futhi ukhulume ukuthi uzizwa kanjani.
Yazisa oshade naye ukuthi unomuzwa wokuthi, njengabantu abashadile, ninamathele enkambweni yokuxhumana engasizi ngalutho. Khuluma ngalokho eningakwenza nobabili ukushintsha lokho.
Yazisa oshade naye ukuthi ufuna ukuzwa ngokukhathazeka kwabo kuwe. Kungenzeka ukuthi lokhu ngeke kusize kangako, futhi kungenzeka nokuthi oshade naye angavumeli ukuyokwelulekwa ngezithandani.
Kubalulekile ukuthi uzinakekele
Uma oshade naye engeke aye ekwelashweni nawe, khona-ke ngincoma ngokuqinile ukuthi uhambe wedwa. Ngincoma nokufunda ezinye zezincwadi ezinhle ezibhalwe ngabelaphi ekubhekaneni nomlingani onolaka ongenzi lutho.
Kubalulekile ukuthi uzinakekele, ungavumeli ukwenziwa kabusha, futhi usebenzise amasu wokubhekana ngokuphumelelayo, ngethemba ngokusekelwa ngudokotela omuhle.