-Delile
- Buyini ubudlelwano phakathi nangaphandle?
- Yini ebangela ubudlelwano obuphindaphindiwe?
- 1. Kunzima ukuqhubeka
- 2. Ukungahambelani
- 3. Izinselelo zempilo
- 4. Ukuxhumana okungafanele
- 5.Umlando owabiwe
- Ngabe ubudlelwano phakathi nangaphandle bujwayelekile futhi bunempilo?
- 1. Isigaba soguquko olwenziwe ngofeleba
- 2. Uhlobo lokuhlukanisa kancane kancane
- Ngabe ubudlelwano obusebenza ngaphambi kwesikhathi buyasebenza ngempela?
- Unganquma kanjani ukuthi uzohlala noma ushiye?
- Izizathu zokuhlala
- Izizathu zokushiya
- Ungabulungisa Kanjani Ubuhlobo Obusebusweni, Obusebusweni?
- 1. Akukho othintana naye okufanele ahambe naye
- 2. Funa usizo lochwepheshe
- 3, Gwema ukuphola okwesikhashana
- Isiphetho
Njengaye wonke umuntu ehlukile futhi umehluko ngamunye uhlukanisa abantu komunye nomunye, kuyafana ebudlelwaneni. Lokhu kusebenza ikakhulukazi ebudlelwaneni bezothando. Bonke ubuhlobo obuseduze buhlukile.
Okusebenzela wena nomlingani wakho kungahle kungasebenzi komunye umbhangqwana. Kunjalo nje. Yilokhu okwenza ubudlelwano bube nzima kakhulu. Ngakho-ke, bonke ubudlelwano buza nezinselelo zazo nezinjabulo.
Kodwa-ke, obunye ubudlelwano obuseduze bungaba nzima ukwedlula abanye. Isibonelo, ubudlelwano obungasasebenzi buvame ukugcwala izinkinga. Ozakwethu ababambe iqhaza ebudlelwaneni obunjalo bangagcina behlangabezana nokuphakama okuphezulu kakhulu nokwehla okuphansi kakhulu. Kungukuhamba kwe-rollercoaster kwemizwa eyinkimbinkimbi.
Uma ukubo budlelwane obunjalo futhi udidekile ukuthi uzulazula kanjani endleleni yakho, ungakhathazeki. Awuwedwa kulokhu.
Uma uzizwa ukhungathekile noma ukhathazekile ngesimo esingaqondakali sobudlelwano bakho nomlingani wakho, kungcono uqale ngokuqonda okushiwo lobo budlelwano nezimbangela zabo.
Buyini ubudlelwano phakathi nangaphandle?
Ake siqale ngokuqonda kahle ukuthi kusho ukuthini ubudlelwano bokuphinda-uphinde. Lapho unokuqonda okuphelele komqondo, kungakusiza ukuthi uthole ukucaciseleka okudingeka kakhulu.
Ake siqale ngokukhipha ukuthi kusho ukuthini on-and-off. Kulolu hlobo lobudlelwano, abalingani bayabuyelana ngemuva kokuhlukana. Futhi lokhu kuvuselelwa kobuhlobo kwenzeka kaningana, kwandulelwe ukuhlukana. Manje igebe lesikhathi phakathi kokwehlukana nokuhlukaniswa kwehlukahluka kuye ngobudlelwano nobudlelwano.
Isici esigqamayo sobuhlobo obunjalo obungahambi kahle yisimo sokujikeleza kwalobu budlelwano obuseduze. Uma ubandakanyeka ebudlelwaneni obunjalo, uzozithola ubambeke kule ndlela yokuhlukana nokuhlangana. Lokhu kungaba intela empilweni yakho yengqondo.
Isici esijwayelekile sobudlelwano obungasasebenzi yisigaba sokuqala senjabulo lapho nibuyelana. Kufana nesigaba sangemva komshado, sigcwele uthando. Nihlale isikhathi ngaphandle komunye nomunye, ngakho-ke kumnandi ukubuyelana.
Lapho isigaba se-honeymoon sesiphelile, lo mbhangqwana ubuyela esimweni semvelo sobudlelwano. Yilapho imizwa ingalimala khona, futhi abalingani bangathola ukucindezeleka. Ungangabaza ukuthi kungani nibuyelane futhi mhlawumbe nihlukane futhi. Lo mjikelezo uyaqhubeka.
Abukho ubufakazi obukhombisa ukuthi bonke ubudlelwano obubonakala ngokuhlukana nokubuyelana kubi. Kodwa-ke, kunethuba lokuthi lo mjikelezo ungaba nempilo kini nobabili. Ubudlelwano obusebusweni nobucishe bube namandla okubuyisa ubuthi.
Yini ebangela ubudlelwano obuphindaphindiwe?
Enye yezindlela ezinhle kakhulu zokuqonda ukuthi ngabe ubudlelwano bokubuyela emuva nangaphambili bungasebenza yini ekuhambeni kwesikhathi ukubheka ezinye zezimbangela eziyinhloko zokungahambi kahle kobudlelwano obunjalo bothando.
Akekho ongena ebudlelwaneni nomuntu ecabanga ukuthi kuzophuma kanjena.
Ngakho-ke, ake sibheke izimbangela ezinkulu zalesi simo:
1. Kunzima ukuqhubeka
Lesi yisizathu esidlangile sobudlelwano obunjalo.
Uma wena nomlingani wakho ningazizwa sengathi ningadlula ebudlelwaneni, kungakudonsela nina nobabili emjikelezweni wokuhlukana nokuhlangana. Uma ungaphelele ngokuphelele, ukuqhubeka kunzima.
2. Ukungahambelani
Imvamisa, abantu abasebudlelwaneni lapho behlala beqeda khona bese bevuselela ubudlelwane, kungasho ukuthi abalingani banamakhemikhali aqinile impela.
Bangase babe nothando olukhulu ngomunye nomunye futhi babelane ngamakhemikhali amakhulu. Kepha i-chemistry iyodwa nje ayanele ukwenza ubudlelwane buhlale ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Uma abalingani bengabelani ngamanani ayisisekelo afanayo, izinkolelo, noma isimilo, kungakhombisa ukungahambelani.
Ngabe lokhu kukwenza uzibuze ukuthi ngabe wena nomlingani wakho anivumelani yini noma ubudlelwano buhle yini? Bheka le vidiyo, bese wenza isinqumo unolwazi:
3. Izinselelo zempilo
Indima ebalulekile edlalwe yizinselelo ezinkulu zempilo njengokuthola izingane esithombeni noma eminye imithwalo yemfanelo emikhulu ayinakululazwa. Kwesinye isikhathi abantu bakuthola kunzima ukubhekana nezinselelo ezahlukahlukene nezibopho zempilo kanye nobudlelwano obuseduze.
Lapho sekuba nzima ukulinganisa bobabili, abantu bakhetha ukubuqeda ubudlelwano. Kuyishwa, kepha kuyenzeka.
4. Ukuxhumana okungafanele
Ukuxhumana okunempilo nokucacile kungenye yezinsika eziyisisekelo zobudlelwano obuqinile, obuhlala isikhathi eside bothando. Imibhangqwana elwela ukuxazulula izingxabano ngokuxhumana okunempilo nokukhululekile ingazizwa sengathi kulula ukuqeda ubudlelwano kunokuba ikhulume ngezinkinga ezinkulu.
5.Umlando owabiwe
Manje, lokhu kuyinto enkulu. Uma wena nomlingani wakho nibona sengathi akukufanele ukufaka isikhathi sakho esibalulekile ekwakheni ubuhlobo nomunye umuntu, kungakufaka kulo mjikelezo wokuphela kobuhlobo bese ubuye uhlangane futhi.
Ungazizwa sengathi kulula ukubuyelana ne-ex yakho ngoba senazana iminyaka. Ungazizwa sengathi awunaso isikhathi noma amandla okwazi umuntu omusha.
Ngabe ubudlelwano phakathi nangaphandle bujwayelekile futhi bunempilo?
Uma usebudlelwaneni obuyiphutha, ungahle uzithole ucabanga ukuthi uzokubiza nini ukuthi buyekile ebudlelwaneni. Umqondo wakho ungahle ube matasa uhlola ukuthi kunempilo yini noma cha ukuba ebudlelwaneni obungenakulindeleka nomuntu.
Ngakho-ke, ingabe ubudlelwane obuphindaphindiwe buye busebenze, futhi ngabe buphilile?
Ubungako bokujwayelekile kwalobu budlelwano buxhomeke ekutheni abantu bahamba kanjani ngendlela yabo ebudlelwaneni obunjalo.
Ngokuyinhloko, kunezinhlobo ezimbili zobudlelwano obungaqondile:
1. Isigaba soguquko olwenziwe ngofeleba
Abantu abakulesi sigaba babheka ukwahlukana njengethuba lokukhula njengabantu ngabanye nasebudlelwaneni.
Ozakwethu abanjalo babheka amakhefu ngendlela efanele.
2. Uhlobo lokuhlukanisa kancane kancane
Lesi sigaba sabantu sinemibono eyinkimbinkimbi ngokuhlukanisa nokubuyisana. Lezi zithandani ezihlukanayo futhi zibuyelane zingazizwa zingagcwaliseki ebudlelwaneni. Bayazihlanganisa ngoba bayanakekelana.
Isigaba sokuhlukaniswa kancane kancane kobudlelwano obusondelene nobususondele futhi kubikwe ukuthi abunampilo. Lapho lezi zithandani zibuyisana ubudlelwano ngemuva kokuhlukana, ngesikhathi esithile, baphinde babone ukuthi bafuna ukubuqeda.
Ngakho-ke, izinhloso zombhangqwana, imibono, kanye nokulindelwe kobudlelwano kubaluleke kakhulu uma kukhulunywa ngokwahlulela okujwayelekile kobudlelwano.
Ngabe ubudlelwano obusebenza ngaphambi kwesikhathi buyasebenza ngempela?
Ngokususelwe esigabeni esedlule mayelana nobukhulu bokuzwana kulobu budlelwano, kuya ngokuthi ububuka kanjani ubudlelwano bakho nokuhlukana kwakho. Izinhloso zakho zibalulekile maqondana nokubuyisana.
Ngabe ufuna ukubuyisana ne-ex yakho ngoba uzizwa ngathi udinga lelo khefu ukuze ukhule njengomuntu futhi uzisebenzele, futhi manje usesimweni esingcono sokuba ne-ex yakho? Noma ufuna ukubuyisana ngoba uzizwa ungaphelele ngaphandle kwe-ex yakho?
Uma wena nowawushade naye nizizwa sengathi nobabili nikhule futhi navuthwa ngesikhathi senu nihlukene futhi usukulungele ukunikela ngesikhathi namandla adingekayo ukwenza ubuhlobo benu busebenze ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, kungenzeka ubudlelwano buphumelele.
Uma uvele nje ufuna ukubuyisana ne-ex yakho ngoba uyayikhumbula i-ex yakho yize wazi ukuthi awusoze waneliseka ngokuphelele ebudlelwaneni obusebusweni nasebusweni, kungahle kungabi yimpilo. Ukulindela kwakho, izinhloso zakho, nokuzibophezela kwakho kubalulekile.
Unganquma kanjani ukuthi uzohlala noma ushiye?
Manje uyazi ukuthi kungani imibhangqwana ihlukana futhi ibuyelana nokuthi ngabe lobu budlelwano bunempilo noma abunampilo yini, mhlawumbe unokucacelwa okwengeziwe ngalesi simo esibi. Kepha ubudlelwane bungaba nzima kakhulu.
Ngakho-ke, kuyaqondakala ngokuphelele uma usadidekile kancane ukuthi wenzeni. Ngakho-ke, ake silinganise izinzuzo nezingozi zobudlelwano obunjalo.
Njengoba kushiwo ngaphambili, ukubuka kubalulekile.
Ukuthi wena nomlingani wakho nihlukane izikhathi ezimbalwa akusho ukuthi azikho izizathu ezizwakalayo zokuhlala. Konke kuncike ekutheni kuyahambisana yini wena nokulindelwe okuhlukile komlingani wakho, amanani, nezinhloso.
Nazi ezinye izizathu zokuhlala:
- Indlela Yokuphila
Imisebenzi nezindlela zokuphila zabo bobabili abalingani kungadlala indima enkulu ekunqumeni uhlobo lobudlelwano abalukhethayo.
Eminye imibhangqwana inethezekile ngemishado yebanga elide nobudlelwano. Ngokufanayo, uma uthanda ukuba wedwa noma ukhetha indlela yokuphila yokufuduka, lokhu kungakusebenzela wena nomlingani wakho. Kepha udinga ukuba ekhasini elifanayo ngakho.
- Uma ungaqiniseki ngekusasa lakho ndawonye
Kwesinye isikhathi wena noma umlingani wakho ningahlangabezana nezithiyo ezingase zingabi nkulu, kepha kungenzeka bakubuze ngamathemba esikhathi eside obudlelwano bakho.
Manje, uma lezi zingqinamba kubhekwana nazo kangcono ngokusebenzisa isikhathi esithile ngokuhlukana bese nibuyisana, khona-ke lokhu kunganisebenzela nobabili.
- Uma ukuzibophezela akuyona into yakho
Uma uke wacabanga kaningi ngokungabi uhlobo lomuntu owakhelwe ubudlelwano obuzibandakanya, kulungile impela. Ungatatazeli ngakho. Kungenzeka. Kusemthethweni.
Akuwona wonke umuntu obheka ukuba sebudlelwaneni besikhathi eside bokuzibophezela njengenani eliyinhloko. Wena noma umlingani wakho ningajabulela lawo makhefu wesikhashana komunye nomunye ukuba nawe futhi ukhule.
- Amakhono wokuxhumana angcono
Uma wena nomlingani wakho nibheka lawa ma-break from a mindset-oriented mindset, that's great!
Amakhefu angakusiza upholishe amakhono akho okuxhumana ukuze kuthi lapho senibuyelana, ubudlelwano bukhule buqhubekele phambili!
Nanku omunye umbono. Ngakho-ke, kungani ubudlelwano buphela?
Lezi ngezinye zezizathu ezizwakalayo:
- Uxabana kanjani?
Ingabe unezingxoxo nomlingani wakho ukuxazulula izingxabano, noma ingabe niqhubeka nje niklabalaselana ngezinkinga ezifanayo nsuku zonke?
Uma kunokumemeza kuphela, kungenzeka ukuthi uyazibuza, “ubudlelwano bungasebenza ngemuva kokuhlukana okuningana.” Kulesi simo, mhlawumbe kunempilo ukukuqeda.
- Umjikelezo uyalutha
Kwemibhangqwana ehlukanayo futhi ibuye ibuye ndawonye izikhathi eziningi, ungahle ube umlutha wale ndlela yokujikeleza.
Futhi uma usazizwa ungagcwalisekanga ebudlelwaneni futhi uhlangana nje ukuze uzwe lokho kushesha kwenjabulo yokubuyisana, mhlawumbe isikhathi esifanele sokushiya unomphela.
- Amathuba aphuthelwe
Lobu budlelwano obuyiphutha bungakhokhisa kakhulu, ikakhulukazi uma ufuna lokho kuzibophezela kwesikhathi eside.
Ngokubuyela kumuntu ofanayo, mhlawumbe ulahlekelwa ngamathuba amahle wokuhlangana nabanye abantu ozohambisana kakhulu nabo!
- Kunomehluko phakathi kwenjabulo nokujwayela
Ngenxa yomlando omningi owabiwe phakathi kwakho nomlingani wakho, umqondo wokuhlangana ungaba nomqondo oqinile wokujwayela okuhambisana nakho.
Kukhona induduzo ekujwayeleni. Kepha lokho akufani nokujabula.
Ungabulungisa Kanjani Ubuhlobo Obusebusweni, Obusebusweni?
Njengoba kushiwo esigabeni esedlule, isimo sokujikeleza kobudlelwano obuphindaphindiwe nobungabuye bube khona singaba umlutha kakhulu koyedwa noma kubo bobabili abalingani ababandakanyekayo.
Ukwephula lo mjikelezo unomphela, uma nobabili ninqume ukubuqeda nya ubudlelwano, gcina amaphuzu alandelayo engqondweni:
1. Akukho othintana naye okufanele ahambe naye
Uma ucabanga ukuthi wena nomlingani wakho nibuyisana kanjani njalo, ungabona ukuthi omunye wabagqugquzeli abakhulu balokhu wayehlala exhumana noma evuselela ukuxhumana. Lokhu akusho ukuthi nobabili aninakuba abangane ngokuzayo.
Kodwa-ke, kungaba ngcono kakhulu ukuthi wena nomlingani wakho ningahlali nithintana ngezingcingo nemibhalo lapho nisesesimweni leso sengozini futhi nilahlekile.
2. Funa usizo lochwepheshe
Kuhlala kunendawo yokuzithuthukisa nokukhula.
Ukuzethemba okuphansi kungaba nomthelela ekuweleni kulo mjikelezo wokuqhekeka kanye nama-patch-ups. Ngakho-ke, lapho usukulungele, kuwumqondo omuhle ukubona owelapha noma umeluleki ukuze uzisebenzele.
3, Gwema ukuphola okwesikhashana
Uma ungena emdlalweni wokuphola unenhloso yobudlelwano besikhathi eside engqondweni, kungcono ukuyeka ukuthandana kuze kube yilapho usuphelile i-ex yakho.
Uma uzongena ohlelweni lokuphola ngaphambi kwesikhathi, ungahle ungavuli ukuthola “lowo” ngempela.
Gcina lezi zingcezu ezintathu ezibalulekile zezeluleko zobudlelwano zokuphinda zisebenze engqondweni.
Isiphetho
Uthando luyinkimbinkimbi. Uma kukhulunywa ngemibuzo efana nokuthi "Ingabe ukuthatha ikhefu ebudlelwaneni kuhle?" ungazithola ugcwele ukudideka.
Ebudlelwaneni, kuhlala kunendawo yokuxhumana kepha uma kwenzeka izinto zivela ekulawulweni, imizamo eqotho ekuqondeni okulungile ihamba ibanga elide ekugcineni ubungcwele bobudlelwano bungaphelele.
Ngakho-ke, gcina izikhombisi ezibalulekile ezishiwo kule ndatshana bese unquma ngokucophelela!