-Delile
- Ukwamukela okujwayelekile okusha
- Ukuphila impilo yakho yakudala futhi
- Ukuvumela usizi
- Ukuthola amathuba okukhula
- Ukubonga isikhathi ndawonye
Lapho owakwakho etholakala ukuthi unesifo esibi noma ekhubazeka, umhlaba wakho uyashintsha. Akuthinteki nina kuphela ngamunye wenu ngalokhu kuthuthuka okucindezelayo, kepha umshado wakho kufanele ujwayele iqiniso elisha. Ukucabanga kwakho ngekusasa lakho ndawonye kungahle kuphele, esikhundleni sezinhlelo zakho kube nemizwa yokwesaba nokukhathazeka. Ungathola ukuthi wena nomlingani wakho ningene esimweni se-limbo, isimo sokungaqiniseki.
Ukuba ngumnakekeli womlingani okubeka esiklabhini okungekho noyedwa kithi ofuna ukujoyina, kepha iqiniso ukuthi iningi lethu lizokwenza phakathi nomshado. Le kilabhu engazibandakanyi ayibandlululi. Amalungu ayo ahlukile ngeminyaka, ubulili, ubuhlanga, ubuhlanga, ubulili, nezinga lemali engenayo. Lapho oshade naye egula kanzima noma egula noma ekhubazeka, umshado ungavivinywa ngendlela engakaze iphonselwe inselelo ngaphambili. Noma ukugula ngokomzimba noma ukugula ngengqondo, akungabazeki ukuthi ukulahlekelwa yimpilo komlingani wethu kungathinta zonke izici zempilo yethu. Umsebenzi wesikhathi esithile odabukisayo futhi kwesinye isikhathi ojulile wokunakekela othandekayo wethu ungasishiya sifuna ukuholwa ukuze sisisize sidlule ebuhlungwini bethu siye endaweni yethemba nokuthula.
Ukwamukela okujwayelekile okusha
Ukugula okungathi sína kuhlale kuyisivakashi esingadingeki uma kufika emnyango wethu. Kepha, njengoba kungamukeleki njengokungena ngaphakathi, kufanele sifunde ukubhekana neqiniso lokuthi kungenzeka ukuthi lihlale isikhashana, uma kungenjalo impilo yonke yomlingani wethu. Leli qiniso liba yinto yethu entsha ejwayelekile, into okufanele siyifakele ezimpilweni zethu. Noma singazizwa kanjani ukuthi izimpilo zethu zimile, noma kufanele zibe sekhefu, kufanele sazi ukuthi singasebenza kanjani noma ngabe sisendaweni yokungaqiniseki. Le nkathi yesikhathi ingahlala isikhathi eside, ngakho-ke kaningi akuyona into engokoqobo ngathi ukucabanga ukuthi singakulinda ukugula komlingani wethu bese sibuyele emuva ngendlela izinto ebezikade zikhona. Siqhubekela phambili njengombhangqwana noma ngabe sise-limbo, sifaka okujwayelekile okusha engqikithini yezimpilo zethu.
Ukuphila impilo yakho yakudala futhi
Noma samukela iqiniso elisha lobudlelwano bethu, sinezinto eziningi ezimpilweni zethu ezindala eziqhubeka ukwenzeka. Sigubha izinsuku zokuzalwa, izikhumbuzo, amaholide, imishado kanye nezingane ezintsha. Siya emicimbini yomphakathi, yesikole, neyomsebenzi. Amanye amalungu omndeni anezinkinga zawo zempilo noma zomuntu siqu futhi sifuna ukuwasekela. Kubalulekile ukuthi singavumeli ukugula komlingani wethu kusiphuce injabulo, izinsizi, imisebenzi, nobudlelwano okusenza sibe yilokho esiyikho. Uma sishiya ngokuphelele isakhiwo salokho okujwayelekile futhi esijwayele ukukwenza, sizolahlekelwa yithina bese sithola ukuthi ukuphela kobunikazi bethu obusele kithi obomnakekeli nesineke. Ukuba khona ezimpilweni zethu kusisiza ukuthi sigcine imizwa yethu futhi kusigcina sixhumene nabantu nemicimbi ebalulekile kithi.
Ukuvumela usizi
Sivame ukucabanga ngokudabuka njengento esiyenzayo lapho othile efa. Kepha ukugula kungaletha ukulahleka okuningi, futhi kunempilo ukuzivuma nokuzizwa. Lokhu akuyona into ofuna ukuyenza obala noshade naye, kepha ukugula okungathi sína noma ukukhubazeka kuletha ukudabuka okulungile futhi akusizi ukugwema ngokuphelele noma ukuchitha leyo mizwa enzima. Kungakhiqiza kakhulu ukusho ngokuqondile ukulahleka kwakho. Isibonelo, uma umngani wakho ekutshela ukuthi uhlela ukuhamba ngomkhumbi nomyeni wakhe ngonyaka ozayo, ungahle ube nosizi lokuthi awukho esimweni sokuhlelela iholidi esikhathini esizayo esibonakalayo. Uma oshade naye engakwazi ukuya emsebenzini noma ukwenza imisebenzi yasendlini, ungaba nosizi ngokulahlekelwa kwakhe. Ungaba nosizi ngokulahlekelwa okulindelwe esikhathini esizayo, ukulahlekelwa ithemba, ukuzizwa uvikelekile. Le nqubo ayifani nokukhathazeka ngoba uzivumela ukuthi uqaphele futhi uqinisekise ukulahleka kwangempela okwenzeka empilweni yakho.
Ukuthola amathuba okukhula
Lapho ubhekene nokugula koshade naye, kwesinye isikhathi kungazizwa njengokufezekisa ukuvuka embhedeni ekuseni bese ubhekana nemisebenzi edingekayo yosuku. Kepha zikhona izindlela ongakhula ngazo? Izinto ongazifunda? Mhlawumbe uthola ukwazisa okusha ngekhono lakho lokuba nesibindi, ukuzidela, ukuzwelana, nokuqina. Futhi mhlawumbe uzibona welula ukwedlula lokho owake wakucabanga ukuthi bekungaphakathi kobubanzi bakho. Lapho sisingatha kahle isimo esinzima noma lapho silwa nokukhathala nokwesaba ukukhuphukela ezingeni eliphezulu kakhulu lokusebenza, sinikezwa ithuba lokunikeza izimpilo zethu ngencazelo yokugcina nokwakha ukuxhumana nomlingani wethu okuyiqiniso ukwedlula ngaphambili inkinga yezempilo. Leli zinga lokuqwashisa lingahle lingabi njalo noma kaningi, njengoba ukunakekelwa kwabantwana nakho kungadabukisa futhi kukhungathekise ngokweqiniso. Kepha uma ukwazi ukubona izikhathi ezingaphezulu kakhulu, kungaba okujabulisayo nokukhuthazayo.
Ukubonga isikhathi ndawonye
Imvamisa ekuxakekeni kwansuku zonke kwempilo yansuku zonke, sibathatha kalula abantu abasondele kakhulu kithi. Lokhu kungenzeka ikakhulukazi nabalingani bethu futhi sizithola sibeka phambili abanye abantu nemisebenzi, sicabanga ukuthi singahlala sihlala nabalingani bethu ngesinye isikhathi. Kodwa lapho ukugula kugadla, isikhathi ndawonye singase sibe yigugu kakhulu. Singazizwa sinomuzwa wokuphuthuma ukusebenzisa kahle isikhathi sethu ebudlelwaneni bethu. Ukunakekelwa uqobo kungasinika ithuba lokuxhuma ngendlela esingakaze sibe nayo ngaphambili. Noma singathola ukuthi ukuxhasa oshade naye ngesikhathi sokugula kunezikhathi eziphazamisayo nezibuhlungu, kungabuye kube nomqondo wokuthi lokhu esikwenzayo kunengqondo futhi kunomthelela. Kwesinye isikhathi ukudla okumnandi, ukugcoba emuva, noma ukugeza okufudumele konke oshade naye udinga ukuzizwa eduduzeka noma evuselelwa. Futhi kungazizwa kumnandi ukuba umuntu onikeza usizo kumlingani wethu esikhathini sakhe sobunzima.
Kunezinye izindlela eziningi zokuzondla wena, oshade naye, nomshado wakho ngesikhathi sokugula. Kulesi sihloko, ngikwazile ukuthinta abambalwa kuphela. Encwadini yami yakamuva, Ukuhlala eLimbo: Ukwakha Isakhiwo Nokuthula lapho Othandekayo egula, ebhaliwe noDkt.Claire Zilber, sixoxa ngalezi zihloko nezinye eziningi ngokujulile. Kulabo kini ababambe iqhaza kule nqubo yokunakekela umlingani wakho, ngifisela nina ukuqina, ukuqina, nokuzola.