-Delile
Sonke sizizwile izindaba ezethusayo zemibhangqwana eyehlise isithunzi yabahlala nabo, bedlulisana buthule ehholo besendleleni eya emsebenzini, beshiya isizungu nokuzonda. Enkambeni yami, amaklayenti avame ukuchaza ukunqanyulwa okubuhlungu njengomphumela wokungazizwa kuzwakala noma kuqondakala-izinkinga zokuxhumana.
Noma ngubani oshadile kungenzeka abe nengxoxo nabo, futhi mhlawumbe nomlingani wakhe ukuthi bakuphi kulo mkhuba omude. Kepha silugcina kanjani uxhumano kukho konke ukuphila? Noma ngabe uqala emshadweni noma unethemba lokusindisa elicwilayo, nazi izinyathelo ezintathu zokuxhuma ngokuxhumana okunekhono.
Yazi okwedlule
Sivame ukuzithola siphinda amaphethini wobudlelwano babazali bethu noma abanakekeli bokuqala. Umama ophikisanayo nobaba ohoxile ufundisa izingane zabo ukuthi ubudlelwano bumayelana nokwenza izidingo nokugwema lezo zimfuno ngokulinganayo.
Abazali abanezinkinga zokusetshenziswa kwezidakamizwa badinga izingane ukuthi zisebenze ezindimeni zabantu abadala zisencane, ukugxilisa izingane zabo ngenkolelo yokuthi izidingo zabo zizohlala zingabalulekile kakhulu kunabo bonke abanye abantu. Akunandaba ukuthi impilo noma ubuthi bezinhlobo zethu zobudlelwano zakuqala bunjani, asikwazi ukushintsha lokho esingakwazi ukukukhomba. Ngokuhlola ngamabomu nangokwahluleli izindlela abazali bethu abasifundisa ngazo ukuxhumana, noma ngabe kungolaka nje, ukudala izingqinamba, noma ukungafihli lutho, sibonisa ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi sishintshe inkambo yobudlelwano bethu. Kukhona amandla ekwamukeleni ukuthi sigodla uthando lokukhuluma ngolaka lwethu (njengomama!) Noma ekwamukeleni ukuthambekela kwethu kokuvala lapho abalingani bethu belimala (njengobaba!). Izitayela zokuxhumana zingumkhiqizo wokufundisa, hhayi izici ezingaguquki zomlingiswa noma zobuntu.
Yazi isipho sakho
Isithiyo esikhulu ekuxhumaneni ngempumelelo ukungabi khona. Kukangaki uzithola wakhela icala ulaka lwakho kumlingani wakho ngokukhumbula zonke izinto azenzile ukukucasula kule minyaka engu-7 edlule? Ngemuva kosesho olunjalo oluhlungwe ngolaka emlandweni wethu, nakanjani sizoba nempendulo engalingani nesimo, siqede ukuxhumeka nokwethemba kule nqubo. Inkinga esemqoka ukuthi sijwayelene nokubandakanya okwedlule kunalokho esikuzwayo njengamanje. Sizakhela thina nabalingani bethu izimo ezinganqobi lapho ukona okwedlule kungumdlalo ofanele wokuvuka, esivame ukukwenza lapho singabaza ukufaneleka kwemizwa yethu yamanje.
Umkhuba ojwayelekile wokucabangisisa ngokuphefumula, ukuqaphela imicabango nemizwa evelayo, futhi uyivumele ihambe kwenza sikwazi ukubhekana nokusebenzisana kwamanje ngaphandle kwemithwalo yesikhathi esedlule ethinta ukukhetha kwethu.
Yazi umlingani wakho
Enye yezinto okuthiwa iyinjabulo yomshado ukwazi umuntu nokwaziwa kahle kakhulu ukuthi ningaqedela imisho yomunye nomunye. Ngenkathi sonke sizizwa sidonsela kulolu hlobo lokwamukelwa nokuqiniseka, okubi ukuthi kudinga indlela eqinile yokubona ozakwethu. Amagama afana nokuthi "njalo" futhi "angikaze" angene ekuqondeni kwethu futhi akwenze kube nzima ukuzwa ozakwethu njengoba benjalo okwamanje. Uma umyeni wami ehlale ekhohlwa ukukhiya imoto, khona-ke ngizovele ngiyithinte ngayo kunokumcela ngesizotha ukuthi ahlole izingidi.Uma umkami engangibuzi ngomsebenzi wami, ngingahle ngigodole ngihoxe ngemuva kosuku olunzima esikhundleni sokucela ukuxhaswa kwakhe. Izindaba esizitshela zona mayelana nokuthi abalingani bethu banjani zinomthelela ekutheni sikuhumusha kanjani ukuxhumana nokuthi siphendula kanjani. Ukuhlala unelukuluku ngabalingani bethu kusekela ukuxhumana okuvulekile, imicabango engaguquguquki iyasivimba komunye nomunye.
Imbongi uRumi yabhala ngokuhlakanipha yathi:
"Umsebenzi akusikho ukufuna uthando, kodwa ukufuna nje nokuthola zonke izingqinamba ngaphakathi kwakho owakhele zona."
Ukwehlisa lezi zithiyo, kufanele sibe nezindlela zethu zokuxhumana eziyinkinga ngomusa nangaphandle kokwahlulela. Ngokuhlola izifundo esizibonayo, ukwenza ubukhona, nokuvumela igumbi lozakwethu ukuthi likhule futhi liguquke, singakha isisekelo esiqinile sokuthembana nokuvuleleka okungahlala impilo yonke.