-Delile
- 1. Naka umlingani wakho ukunaka kwakho konke
- 2. Musa ukuphazamisa umlingani wakho
- 3. Dala isikhala esingathathi hlangothi
- 4. Khuluma ubuso nobuso
- 5. Sebenzisa izitatimende "Mina" lapho kuphakama izinkinga
- 6. Thembeka koshade naye
- 7. Khuluma ngezinto ezincane
- 8. Sebenzisa umthetho wamahora angama-24
- 9. Thintana ngokomzimba
- 10. Yenza ukuxhumana kube mnandi
Ukuxhumana kuyisisekelo somshado ophilile. Yindlela ukuxhumana kwakho noshade naye, nabelana ngayo ngemicabango yenu nangemibono yenu, futhi nixazulula izingxabano. Amakhono okuxhumana ngobudlelwano awafiki lula kuwo wonke umuntu. Eminye imibhangqwana kuzodingeka isebenze kumasu abo iminyaka. Kepha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, bazokwazi ukukhuluma ngokukhululeka nangokwethembeka omunye komunye.
Akunandaba ukuthi usuxhumene kanjani manje nowakwakho, kuhlale kunendawo yokuqinisa nokukhulisa ubudlelwano bakho.
Nawa amakhono obudlelwano bokuxhumana ali-10 azosindisa umshado wakho:
1. Naka umlingani wakho ukunaka kwakho konke
Ungathumeli imiyalezo futhi ukhulume. Noma ngabe oshade naye ukutshela ihlaya noma wembula imfihlo ejulile yomndeni, kufanele ubanikeze ukunaka kwakho okuhlukene.
Beka ubuchwepheshe obuphazamisayo, thulisa noma ucishe ithelevishini, bese uncika kumlingani wakho. Lokhu kuzobakhombisa ukuthi uyayikhathalela imininingwane yabo. Ukufaka amakhodi nokugcina ukuthintana ngamehlo zombili izindlela ezinhle kakhulu zokubonisa umlingani wakho umlalele.
Ungakha indawo ekhaya lakho lapho kungabekwa khona izinto zikagesi ukukhawulela ukuphazamiseka kwezobuchwepheshe.
2. Musa ukuphazamisa umlingani wakho
Ukuphazanyiswa kuyindlela esheshayo yokukhulisa ingxabano. Lapho uxhumana nomlingani wakho, kubalulekile ukuthi izinhlangothi zombili zizizwe zinethuba lokukhuluma futhi lizwakale.
Ungazizwa ulingeka ukukhama uzibeke kowakho umbono ngenkathi umlingani wakho esakhuluma, ikakhulukazi uma uzizwa ukuthi baneqiniso elingalungile, kepha kubalulekile ukulinda.
Ukunikeza umlingani wakho ukunaka kwakho ngenkathi uhlala ugxile futhi uxhumekile kukhombisa umlingani wakho inhlonipho.
3. Dala isikhala esingathathi hlangothi
Ukukhulumisana akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi. Imibhangqwana eminingi ikuthola kuzuzisa ukubhekana nezihloko "ezinzima" zempi endaweni engathathi hlangothi, njengetafula lasekhishini. Kungazwakala kuwubuwula, kepha ukuxoxa ngokushoda komlingani wakho lapho elele kungabenza bazizwe behlaselwa futhi kungadala ukuthi babheke ikamelo lokulala ngendlela engeyiyo ngokuzayo.
Ukuxabana endlini yesihlobo kungenye isibonelo somunye umlingani ezizwa sengathi banesaga "indawo ephezulu" empikiswaneni.
4. Khuluma ubuso nobuso
Elinye lamakhono amahle kakhulu wokuxhumana ebudlelwaneni ongabasebenzisa njalo ukukhuluma ngezihloko ezibalulekile ubuso nobuso. Ukuthumelelana imiyalezo ngomakhalekhukhwini akuyona indlela yokuba nezingxoxo ezinzulu zobudlelwano noma ukwenza izinqumo ezinkulu ngoba ithoni yezwi ayikwazi ukunqunywa ngemiyalezo ebhaliwe.
Esikhundleni salokho, khetha isikhathi lapho nizobhekana ubuso nobuso nomlingani wakho. Ngale ndlela ninobabili ukunaka kwenu ngokuphelele futhi ningafunda izinkomba zomunye nomunye ezingezona ezomlomo. Lapho izinto zishiwo mathupha, kuncane indawo yokuthi izinto zilahleke “ekuhumusheni” ngokusebenzisa ubuchwepheshe.
5. Sebenzisa izitatimende "Mina" lapho kuphakama izinkinga
Enye inkinga imibhangqwana ehlangabezana nayo lapho ixabana ukuhlaselana.
Ngokusebenzisa izitatimende "Mina", ususa ingcindezi kumlingani wakho.
Esikhundleni sokuthi “WENZE lokhu futhi kwangithukuthelisa”, zama ukukhuluma nokuthi “Nginomuzwa wokuthi lapho LOKHU kwenzeka, imizwa yami yalimala.”
Uyawubona umehluko? Wenze inkinga yaba ngeyakho, esikhundleni sokuhlasela umlingani wakho.
Le ndlela elula, kepha ephumelelayo ivimbela noma ngubani wenu ekuhlaseleni noma ekuzivikeleni ngokungadingekile.
6. Thembeka koshade naye
Ukwethembeka akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi, kepha kuyisihluthulelo sobudlelwano obunempilo.
Olunye ucwaningo mayelana ne "12 Healthy Dating Relationship Qualities" luthole ukuthi ukuxhumana okuhle, ukwethembeka nokwethembana kubalwe njengezinye zezimfanelo eziphakeme kakhulu.
Ukuthembeka kusho ukutshela umlingani wakho uma uzizwa kunezingqinamba ezidinga ukukhuluma ngazo. Kusho nokuvuma lapho wenze iphutha bese uxolisa esikhundleni sokwenza izaba.
Ukwethembeka akusizi nje kuphela ukukhuthaza ukuxhumana kwangempela okuvulelekile phakathi kwakho noshade naye, kodwa futhi kusiza ekwakheni ukwethembana.
7. Khuluma ngezinto ezincane
Elinye lamakhono amakhulu okuxhumana ebudlelwaneni kulapho wena nomlingani wakho nikwazi ukukhuluma ngezinto ezincane kanye nezinto ezinkulu. Ungaqinisa umshado wakho ngokukhuluma ngosuku lwakho, ngemicabango yakho, noma wabelane ngezindaba ezihlekisayo ezivela esontweni lakho.
Uma ushadile, zonke izihloko kufanele zivulekele ukuxoxwa. Akufanele kube khona okuxaka kakhulu noma okungakhululeki ukuwabelana. Ngokukhuluma ngezinto ezincane uzokwenza kube lula ukukhuluma ngezihloko ezibaluleke kakhulu ngokuzayo.
8. Sebenzisa umthetho wamahora angama-24
Lapho abantu ababili beshadile futhi behlala ndawonye, nakanjani kuzoba khona izigaxa endleleni.
Ngezinye izinsuku uzozizwa njengothingo nezimvemvane ezintanta ekhaya lakho lapho umlingani wakho eseduze. Ngezinye izikhathi, uzozwa ikhanda eliza lapho oshade naye eseduze.
Uma uzizwa ukhungathekile nomlingani wakho futhi usuzokhuluma ngesikhalazo sakho, yima isikhashana. Prakthiza umthetho wamahora angama-24.
Ngakho-ke akazange athulule umshini wokuwasha izitsha noma engawacoshi amasokisi akhe. Ingabe ngempela ukuphela komhlaba? Ngabe kunendaba kuwe emahoreni angama-24? Uma kungenjalo, cabanga ukukuyeka.
9. Thintana ngokomzimba
Akunandaba ukuthi ingxoxo yakho ithatha luphi ithoni, ukuthintana ngokomzimba kubalulekile. Ukuqina kwesikhumba okuphansi, njengokuthinta umlingani noma ukuphulula ingalo yabo, kukhuthaza ukukhishwa kwe-oxytocin. I-hormone yothando ikhuthaza ukusondelana nozwela kozakwethu bezothando, futhi ingasebenza njenge-anti-stress agent futhi ikhuthaze nokuziphatha ngokubambisana.
10. Yenza ukuxhumana kube mnandi
Ukuxhumana yindlela okhuluma ngayo ngezindaba zomndeni nezezezimali, izinkinga nezisombululo zazo, nokuthi wena noshade naye nithatha kanjani izinqumo. Kepha, ungakhohlwa ukuthi ukuxhumana kufanele kube mnandi, futhi.
Ukukhuluma nomlingani wakho kusho ukuxoxa izindaba ezihlekisayo, amaphupho ngekusasa, nokuhlanganyela ezingxoxweni ezijulile. Lezi yizikhathi ezakha ukuxhumana okujulile ngokomzwelo futhi zikhulise i-oxytocin ne-dopamine.
Njalo yenza isikhathi sokungena nomlingani wakho ngamazwi, ngabe ingxoxo elandelayo ibucayi noma iwubuwula.
Isiphetho:
Ukuxhumana kuyisihluthulelo sobudlelwano obujabulisayo nobunempilo. Ungakuthuthukisa ukuxhumana kwakho emshadweni ngokuthi uvuleke futhi uthembeke ngezidingo zakho zomzimba nezingokomzwelo, uhlale uyincwadi evulekile maqondana nezindaba zemali, futhi unake umlingani wakho ngokugcwele.
Zama lawa makghono wokuxhumana asebenzayo ali-10 ebudlelwaneni bese uzwa umehluko emshadweni wakho kungekudala.