-Delile
- Indlela yokubhekana nokuhlukana komshado
- 1. Umsebenzi wesikole
- 2. Veza ukungcola ebudlelwaneni
- 3. Diliza udonga olungokomzwelo
- 4. Khuluma ngokusuka enhliziyweni
- 5. Ukwazana ... futhi
Ukwehlukana nomlingani wakho, noma ngabe nguwe okufunayo noma kunguwe otholayo, nakanjani akulula. Kuyakhipha ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo kubo bobabili abalingani.
Kuningi kakhulu okufanele kwenziwe uma sehlukana. Kufanele uvakashele ummeli kaningi, usebenzise ama-oodle emali, futhi ugcine amazwi nemizwelo yakho ihlolwe. Kuningi kakhulu ongakucela ngalesi sikhathi esinzima!
Ungazama ukufinyelela kubangani bakho noma kumalungu omndeni wakho ngezeluleko zokwehlukanisa umshado. Kepha, ngokwenza njalo, kunethuba lokuthola izeluleko ezibandlululayo, ezingase zingakusizi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
Ngesikhathi sokuhlukana emshadweni, ingqondo yakho kufanele ixinwe yimibuzo eminingi. Ukwenza isibonelo, ‘indlela yokubhekana nokwehlukaniswa komshado,‘ ‘kohlala isikhathi esingakanani ukwahlukana,” ‘ukwahlukana kanjani nomlingani ngenkathi nihlala ndawonye,’ nokunye okuningi.
Lesi yisikhathi lapho udinga khona izeluleko zokwehlukanisa umshado, ngaphandle kokubandlulula, futhi lokho kukusiza ukuthi uphume enkingeni.
Okubaluleke kakhulu, izeluleko zokwehlukanisa umshado kufanele zikuqondise kokungafanele ukwenze ngesikhathi sokuhlukana, nokuthi ungawusindisa kanjani umshado ngesikhathi sokuhlukana.
Indlela yokubhekana nokuhlukana komshado
Phakathi kwezeluleko ezinhle kakhulu zokwehlukanisa imishado ezitholakalayo ukufuna ukwelulekwa ngemishado ngokushesha nangokuphelele ngemuva kokuhlukana nomelaphi onelayisense noma umeluleki.
Kuyini ukwelulekwa ngomshado?
Ukwelulekwa ngemishado kuyisiqeshana esisebenzayo se-psychotherapy.
Inhloso yalolu hlobo lokwelulekwa ukusiza abashadikazi bazo zonke izinhlobo nobukhulu ukuthi babone futhi baphinde baqale kabusha ngemuva kwezingxabano nokukhuthaza ukuxhumana okunempilo nokwenza ngcono ubudlelwano obubi.
Ukwelulekwa ngomshado okuhle, kwenza abalingani nabantu ngabanye benze izinqumo ezicabangayo mayelana nokuqinisa ubudlelwano noma, uma isimo sidinga, ukuhamba ngezindlela ezihlukene.
Imvamisa, ukwelulekwa ngemishado kwenziwa ngabelaphi abanamalayisense abagxile ekusizeni lapho kufika izindawo eziyingozi. Behlonyiswe ngeziqu zokuthweswa iziqu kanye neziqu, iningi labelaphi laziwa nge-American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT).
Kepha, noma ngabe ukhetha ukuthola ukwelulekwa, ungancika ngokuphelele kumeluleki wakho futhi ulindele ukuthi benze umlingo othile futhi bakukhulule kuzo zonke izinkathazo. Izinga umelaphi angakusiza ngalo kuncike ekwamukelweni kwakho nasentweni yokuxazulula izinkinga.
Imizamo eminingi oyibeka ekugcineni kwakho ngenkathi unikezwa ukwelulekwa, imiphumela iyoba ngcono. Ngakho-ke, nansi ingxenye ebalulekile yeseluleko sokuhlukanisa umshado.
Ungaletha la mathiphu wokwehlukaniswa kwesivivinyo, kungakhathalekile ukuthi welashwa noma cha.
1. Umsebenzi wesikole
Awukwazi ukubikezela umphumela wokuphela kokwehlukana. Kepha, ungakhetha ukwenza umsebenzi wakho wesikole kahle, ukuze ungazisoli ngokungazenzi izinto ezithile ngesikhathi esifanele.
Njengengxenye yomsebenzi wakho wesikole, bhala phansi izingqinamba enivumelana ngazo nezindawo eziqhubeka nokulimaza nokusongela umshado. Yabelana ngalokhu nomlingani wakho.
Zilungiselele ukwamukela iminikelo yabo, futhi. Futhi, gcina ingqondo yakho ilungele ukwamukela noma yiluphi uhlobo lokugxekwa.
2. Veza ukungcola ebudlelwaneni
Yimaphi amagama nezenzo ezivela emndenini wakho odabuka kuwo noma ebudlelwaneni bokuqala oqhubeka nokuncipha esimweni sakho samanje sezindaba?
Esinye iseluleko sokwehlukanisa imishado ukuthi nobabili kufanele nisikhiphe. Njengoba kushiwo ngaphambili, ungazama ukubhala phansi imizwa yakho nakho konke okukukhathazayo ekujuleni kwenhliziyo.
Noma kunjalo, kunendlela yokuveza ukungcola. Akudingeki ukuthi ube nobutha nomlingani wakho. Ungazama ukusebenzisa ulimi oluncane futhi ubhekane nezinkinga zakho ngendlela eqondile.
3. Diliza udonga olungokomzwelo
Yini okungafanele uyenze ngesikhathi sokuhlukana?
Iseluleko esibaluleke kunazo zonke sokuhlukanisa imishado kufanele ugweme ukwakha izindonga eziqinile zomzwelo.
Lapho sibuhlungu kakhulu, sijwayele ukwakha izindonga ezingokomzwelo ezisivimbela ekuhlanganyeleni ngokweqiniso nalabo esibathandayo. Sithatha izinto ezingekho nhlobo, futhi lokhu kunweba igebe kunoma yibuphi ubuhlobo.
Uma uzimisele ngokuzibandakanya nothando lwempilo yakho, kufanele uhlole izindonga ozibeke phambi kwenhliziyo yakho.
4. Khuluma ngokusuka enhliziyweni
Lapha, amandla esitatimende esithi "Ngiyezwa" athwala isisindo esikhulu nethuba. Lapho ukhuluma nomlingani wakho, thembeka.
Njengengxenye yeseluleko esibalulekile sokuhlukanisa imishado, khumbula ukuthi awudingi ukuzigqaja ngezinto. Khuluma ngalokho okubuhlungu, futhi ungazincomi ukuba usho lokho ocabanga ukuthi ufuna ukukuzwa.
Le yimithetho ebaluleke kakhulu yokwehlukana emshadweni engenza noma iphule ubuhlobo bakho.
5. Ukwazana ... futhi
Uma uke wabhekana nezinto ezithile uwedwa noma njengombhangqwana, kungaba nzima ukuzibandakanya kunoma yiluphi uhlobo lokusondelana ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba. Kubalulekile ukuzama, noma kunjalo.
Khuluma. Qhubeka nosuku. Ukuvakasha. Pheka ndawonye. Funda ukujabulelana futhi. Uma ukuthola kunzima ukukwenza ngokushesha, zinike isikhathi.
Unganquma ngokuvumelana ngesikhathi sokuphola. Uma noma ngubani kini edinga ukuyelula, ungaphoqeleli lutho. Lapho uzoqina ngokwengeziwe, aba maningi amathuba okubuyisana.
Uma ufuna usizo olwengeziwe, kuwumqondo omuhle ukuthatha inkambo yomshado ngokunethezeka ekhaya lakho. Izokusiza ukuthi uthole ukuqonda okujulile ngezinkinga zakho futhi usebenze kulabo abasejubaneni lakho.
Futhi Buka: