-Delile
- Nazi izimpawu eziyisi-9 ezixwayisa ifulegi elibomvu, ezisitshela ukuthi sithi cha, emshadweni
- 1. Umlutha wotshwala
- 2. Ukungatholakali ngokomzwelo
- 3. Izinkinga zomndeni
- 4. Ukuntuleka kokuxhumana
- 5. Uma ungazithandi izingane ungashadi nomuntu onezingane
- 6. Izinkinga zezezimali
- 7. Ungashadi uma ulindele ukuthi umlingani wakho ashintshe
- 8. Ukuhambisana ngokocansi
- 9. Ungashadi uma nihlukane muva nje
Umshado ezweni lakithi usuthathe kabi, futhi leso yisitatimende esinethemba lokuhle. Ucwaningo luphakamisa ukuthi ama-55% emishado yokuqala agcina ngesehlukaniso, ama-72% emishado yesibili agcina ngesehlukaniso kuthi ama-78% emishado yesithathu agcine ngesehlukaniso.
Iningi lethu linenganekwane, yokuthi noma ngabe ubudlelwane bethu bamanje bungasebenzi manje, uma sesishadile konke kuzoba kuhle kakhulu.
Bamba kancane. Ungaphasi hamba. Funda lokhu.
Nazi izimpawu eziyisi-9 ezixwayisa ifulegi elibomvu, ezisitshela ukuthi sithi cha, emshadweni
Umshado, okungenani umshado onempilo, usuyiphupho ezweni lethu.
Abantu basenomuzwa wokuthi uma sebeshadile, konke kuzoba kuhle.
“Yebo ngiyazi ukuthi siyadonsa kanzima manje, futhi asizwani kahle, futhi kunezinkinga nezingane, futhi kukhona izingqinamba nalabo esasisebenzisana nabo, noma mhlawumbe kunezinkinga ngamakhono ethu okuxhumana ... Kodwa uma sesishadile, konke kuzolunga. ”
Kucishe kufane nokufunda iphephabhuku lowesifazane.
Noma inoveli yezothando ihambe kabi.
Umshado usuphenduke umkhiqizo olahlwayo ezweni lethu, nasemhlabeni wethu, futhi ngaphandle kokuthi sifinyelele ebuningini bobudlelwano esikhundleni sefantasy, akukho lutho, futhi ngiqonde ukuthi akukho okuzoke kushintshe.
Nazi izizathu eziphezulu eziyi-9 zokuthi kungani kufanele uthi cha, uma uzibona ukulezi zimo nomlingani wakho wamanje, futhi uhlela ukushada:
1. Umlutha wotshwala
Ngemuva kokwenza lo msebenzi njengomeluleki nomqeqeshi wempilo iminyaka engama-30, nokuba sengilulame ngokuphelele, ngiyakutshela ukuthi imishado eminingi iyafa ngenxa yokuluthwa utshwala.
Muva nje ngisebenze nezithandani, ngishade iminyaka eyi-2, ebikade ilwa unyaka nezinyanga eziyi-10 futhi enye yezinkinga ezinkulu abanazo phakathi kwabo ukusetshenziswa kotshwala.
Unkosikazi uzizwa ejwayelekile ukuthi kube nezingilazi ezintathu noma ezine zewayini njalo ebusuku, bese uzijabulisa ngempela ngezimpelasonto.
Futhi umyeni akasemuva kakhulu. Manje yini inkinga? Njalo ezinsukwini eziyi-14 noma kunjalo bangena kokungqongqoza okukhulu, badonsela phansi impi, lokho kumosha nje impilo yabo izinsuku ezintathu kuya kwezi-4 ngemuva kwalokho.
Kepha bobabili bebekwazi ukungena emshadweni, ukuthi esinye sezikhiye ezibahlanganisile utshwala.
Bebethanda ukuhlanganyela ndawonye, bethanda ukuphumula lanai kusihlwa bephuza iziphuzo zabo, kepha abaze babona ukuthi konke ukulwa nokuxabana okwakwenzeka ngesikhathi sokuthandana bekuzodlulela emshadweni kuphela.
Njengoba ngangisebenza nabo bobabili, ngenza umbono olula kakhulu wokuthi ngaphandle kokuthi bebehlela ukuvumela utshwala buhambe, kufanele bavumele umshado uhambe. Kwakungumdlalo omubi kakhulu, notshwala baqhuma ukungazethembi kwabo kanye nokwesaba ngokuzinikela nothando.
2. Ukungatholakali ngokomzwelo
Uma singazelanga ukuqedela ukuvalwa ngabo bonke ubudlelwano bethu bangaphambilini, okusho ukuthi uma singabathethelelanga bonke abathandana bethu esedlule nabo noma abalingani bethu bomshado ngokungasebenzi kahle abakulethe ezimpilweni zethu, asikho ndawo lapho sesikulungele ukushada khona .
Ibizwa ngokuthi imithwalo yemizwa. Kubizwa ngokungatholakali ngokomzwelo.
Uma unamagqubu noma amagqubu omelene nomyeni wangaphambili, ngiyakuthembisa lokhu, uzothola ezinye izingqinamba nomlingani wakho wamanje ngenxa nje yokuthi awufundanga ukuthi ungakuyeka kanjani okwedlule.
Uma ungeke ukwazi ukumelana nowayengunkosikazi wakho noma owayeyintombi yakho futhi unentukuthelo noma igqubu ngabo, ngeke uthembe noma yimuphi umuntu wesifazane osesikhathini esizayo uze uyeke okwedlule.
Sebenza nabeluleki ukuze uthole umnyombo wokuxolela, noma bonke ubudlelwano bakho buzosekelwa esihogweni.
3. Izinkinga zomndeni
Ubona ukungasebenzi kahle okukhulu phakathi komlingani wakho nomndeni wakhe, kepha ngokusho komlingani wakho, umndeni wabo ubalulekile othandweni lwabo nasekusindeni kwabo.
Ngaso leso sikhathi, uya endaweni yempi.
Ngaphandle kokuthi uhlala eJapan nomndeni wakhe, kuleli cala, uhlala e-United States, noma yisiphi isihlobo esiseduze lapho umlingani wakho enokukhubazeka okuqhubekayo khona kuzokwakha isihogo ngokuphelele emshadweni wakho noma ebudlelwaneni bakho.
Liyini ikhambi? Ngena ekwelulekeni namuhla, ukuze ubone ukuthi unakho yini okudingekayo ukubekezelela ubuhlanya obuza ngomgwaqo.
Letha umlingani wakho naye, ukuze nobabili nizokwazi ukukhuluma nomeluleki mayelana nokwesaba nokukhathazeka kwenu maqondana nobudlelwano abanabo namalungu emindeni yabo agcwele izinxushunxushu.
Yenza ucwaningo. Thola usizo ngaphambi kokuba uzibophezele emshadweni, futhi ekugcineni ube nabasekhweni lakho kanye nokuhlanya kwabo kube yingxenye yempilo yakho njalo.Kungase kungakufanele.
4. Ukuntuleka kokuxhumana
Uma uthandana nomuntu ozivalela phansi kalula noma osebenzisa izindlela zokwenziwa kunokusebenzisa ukubhekana nengxabano, uhlala isikhathi eside kakhulu noma mhlawumbe mfushane kakhulu, kepha unzima.
Uma ungafundanga ukuthi ungalwa kanjani ngokufanele ebudlelwaneni bakho bokuphola uma ungakafundi ubuciko bokuvumela izinto zihambe uma ungakafundi ubuciko bokuthi uxolise ngokufanele ukuze ukwazi ukudedela noma yikuphi ukungezwani ebudlelwaneni ngokufanele ngokushesha. Awukulungele ukushada. Yebo, kulula kanjalo.
5. Uma ungazithandi izingane ungashadi nomuntu onezingane
Uma umlingani wakho ocabanga ukushada naye, enezingane, futhi ungazwani nezingane, ungashadi nalo muntu!
Akukho lutho olungahambi kahle ngokuba nomuntu onezingane ngokusobala, kepha uma ungeyena umuntu okujabulela kakhulu ukuba phakathi kwezingane, lokhu kuzoba iphuzu lokunamathela ebudlelwaneni bakho.
Ngokusobala awukwazi ukucela umuntu othandana naye ukuthi aqede izingane, i-LOL, kepha ungathatha isinqumo sokuthi izingane azikaze zibe yingxenye yempilo yakho futhi awunantshisekelo yokukuqala manje.
Baningi abanye abantu laphaya ngaphandle kwezingane, okufanele ngabe ugxile kubo.
6. Izinkinga zezezimali
Uma uthandana nomuntu ongakakwazi kahle ubuciko besabelomali, ukunciphisa izindleko futhi ngasikhathi sinye ufunda ukuthi ungayinyusa kanjani imali, futhi bahlala belwa nemali, bekhathazekile ngemali, bekhuluma ngokuthi kubi kangakanani kepha basazithola bekulesi simo sesimo sezezimali, ungashadi!
Esikhundleni salokho, khuthaza umlingani wakho futhi mhlawumbe ungabajoyina, ukuze usebenze nomhleli wezimali noma umeluleki futhi uhlanze konke ukungcola kwezezimali ngaphambi kokuthatha isinqumo sokushada.
Futhi uma behlehlela emuva, futhi bengafuni ukuthola usizo lwezezimali? Ahambe. Manje.
7. Ungashadi uma ulindele ukuthi umlingani wakho ashintshe
Uma uthandana nothile futhi ucabanga ukumshada, futhi unethemba lokuthi bazoshintsha okuthile ngobuntu babo noma ngokuziphatha kwabo ... Ungashadi!
Ngangisebenza nowesifazane eminyakeni eminingana eyedlule, owayethandana nomfana owayedla evule umlomo kakhulu lapho bephakathi kwabantu.
Wakuthola kunengeka kodwa wacabanga ukuthi angahle ashintshe ngemuva kokushada kwabo, kanti wayenephutha.
Ezinyangeni eziyisithupha emshadweni, uthathe isinqumo sokuthi angabe esaya esidlangalaleni ayodla naye, futhi uyazi ukuthi kwenzekani ngokulandelayo.
Intukuthelo yakhe yajula yaya ngokujula, yize ayenqaba ukuguqula lo mkhuba omubi kuze kube yilapho umshado wabo usunenkinga.
Ungalokothi uphole nanoma ubani, noma ushade nanoma ngubani, ngamakhono abo okushintsha imikhuba yabo yamanje noma imikhuba. Uma ucabanga ukuthi unobudlelwano obukhulu, linda kuze kulungiswe lezo zinkinga ezingaba khona namhlanje ngaphambi kokuba uzishade.
8. Ukuhambisana ngokocansi
Uma ungahlangani ngokocansi uma uthandana nothile, ngethembe kulokhu njengomeluleki nomqeqeshi wempilo iminyaka engaphezu kwengu-30, akukho okuhle okuzoshintsha emshadweni.
Kubuhlungu kodwa kuyiqiniso. Kunabantu abaningi okungafani kahle emshadweni ngoba izinkanuko zabo zocansi nentshisekelo yabo isemikhawulweni ehluke ngokuphelele yomkhakha.
Abanye abantu bazalwa benomdlandla ophakeme kakhulu wezocansi, futhi badinga ukuthola umlingani ongafana nalolo lwazi lwezocansi.
Abanye abantu bahlangabezana nezinkinga zempilo, futhi uma bengabanakekeli kungaguqula impilo yabo ibheke phansi ngenye yezinhlobo eziningi zokungasebenzi kahle ngokocansi.
Qiniseka ukuthi nobabili nikubude obude obufanayo, ekhasini elifanayo, uma kukhulunywa ngokuboniswa komphakathi ngothando, ukuqabulana, ukwenza uthando, ngaphambi kokuhamba phansi.
9. Ungashadi uma nihlukane muva nje
Umlingani wakho, noma wena, wayesehlukanisile noma waqeda ubudlelwane besikhathi eside futhi ngokushesha wagxumela kulo wamanje.
Sikholelwa ezweni lokwelulekwa, ukuthi abantu badinga okungenani izinsuku ezingama-365 phakathi kobudlelwano besikhathi eside bokuphola noma imishado.
Uma uthatha le ndlela yezinsuku ezingama-365 futhi usebenze nomeluleki ekugcineni kobudlelwano bakho, uzokwazi ukusula izinkinga eziningi ezingaba khona eziza ngomgwaqo.
Encwadini yethu entsha kunazo zonke, "Ingelosi ebhodini lokuntweza: inoveli eyimfihlakalo yothando enikeza okhiye bothando olujulile", Umlingisi oholayo uSandy Tavish wayengwa ngowesifazane omuhle echibini, futhi Ngalolo suku ummemela endlini yakhe ibhodlela lewayini nedina.
Lapho efika, ubukeka emuhle kakhulu, emuhle kangangokuba engakwazi nokuzibamba.
Uqhubeka amtshele ukuthi uyakholelwa yena, uSandy, yindoda abekade eyilindele impilo yakhe yonke.
Kepha okwenzekayo ngokulandelayo, kuguqula konke.
Uyamtshela ukuthi ekugcineni uxoshe isoka lakhe lokugcina endlini ... Kuphela izinsuku ezintathu ezedlule! ... Kepha ululungele uthando olujulile.
USandy uyaqonda ukuthi akekho umuntu ongalungela uthando olujulile ngaphandle kwesikhala esiningi phakathi kobudlelwano, futhi umtshela lokhu.
Ekuqaleni, lokhu kuyayilimaza inhliziyo yakhe futhi ucasuke kakhulu, kepha lapho ehlala phansi uyalibona iqiniso, udinga isikhathi esiningi sokuphola ebudlelwaneni bokugcina.
Noma ngabe nguwe, noma umlingani wakho ongaba naye, ongathathanga isikhathi esanele phakathi kobudlelwano, leli yifulegi elibomvu elikhulu okudingeka silinake.
Phumula. Yenza umsebenzi. Futhi uma kwenzelwe ukuba nibe ndawonye, nizogcina nindawonye.
Njengoba kungenzeka ucabange, lawa macebiso ayi-9 angenhla ayisiqalo nje.
Manje ake sinqume ukuthi sizokuma ngokushada nothile kuze kube uqiniseka ngokuphelele ukuthi nobabili nisekhasini elilodwa kuyo yonke indawo, noma okungenani ezindaweni eziningi zempilo.
Ngiyazi uma ulandela lezi zeluleko ezilula, uzozisindisela impilo yakho yonke yobuhlungu, usizi nokulahleka kwezezimali. Yehlisa kancane ijubane. Thatha isikhathi sakho. Futhi uma ungekho nothile njengamanje ofanelana kahle, yiba nethemba lokuthi uzomthola emgwaqeni futhi uphile ngenjabulo, kuze kube phakade.