-Delile
- 1. Ngabe nichitha isikhathi sekhwalithi ndawonye?
- 2. Ulala ocansini kangaki?
- 3. Ngabe owakwakho ungumngane wakho omkhulu?
- 4. Ngabe niyibekile imingcele enempilo (ngisho nakomunye nomunye)?
- 5. Ngabe unalo uhlelo lwezezimali nolokuthatha umhlalaphansi olukhona?
- 6. Uyajabula?
Ukube othile ubengakubuza imibuzo yokuhlola umshado namuhla, kunethuba elihle lokuthi bangakubuza okuthile ngokuvumelana nokuthi “Ngakho-ke, ujabule kangakanani ebudlelwaneni bakho?”
Futhi yize lowo kungumbuzo ofanelekile (esizowufinyelela ekugcineni kwalesi sihloko), sicabanga ukuthi lowo obaluleke kakhulu ekuhlolweni kobudlelwano ngukuthi “Kanjani uphilile umshado wakho? ”
Lapho umshado wakho uphilile, lokho kusho ukuthi uphilile, unamandla, futhi unenza nobabili nijabule. Futhi uma ikuleso simo, kungakuzuzisa kuphela ngokomoya, emoyeni nangokwenyama.
Kungakho sicabanga ukuthi kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi imibhangqwana isebenzise amathuluzi wokuhlola imishado njengokuzihlolela imfanelo yokushada ngezikhathi ezithile.
Ngokuyisisekelo, uchungechunge lwemibuzo 'yokuhlola impilo yomshado' okufanele wena noshade naye nizibuze yona ukuze nenze isiqiniseko sokuthi nobabili nibona sengathi umshado wenu uhamba kahle.
Uma ungakaze wenze ukuhlolwa kobudlelwano obunempilo noma i- ukuhlolwa kwempilo yomshado, nayi (cishe) imizuzu engu-10 yokuhlolwa kokuqina komshado esikuncoma ukuthi ukwenze uma ufika ekhaya uvela emsebenzini kulobubusuku noma ngempelasonto lapho unesikhathi esincane sokuphumula.
Uma kwenzeka usukulungele lokhu kuhlolwa komshado?
Ake siqale:
1. Ngabe nichitha isikhathi sekhwalithi ndawonye?
Eminye imibhangqwana icabanga ukuthi inqobo nje uma behlanganyela umbhede ndawonye, basebenzisa isikhathi sekhwalithi njengabantu abashadile. Yize kuyisibonakaliso esinempilo somshado olala egumbini elilodwa, isikhathi sekhwalithi sidinga ukuba nokuningi kakhulu kunalokho.
Uya ngezinsuku (ngaphandle kwezingane)? Ngabe nithatha uhambo lwothando ndawonye minyaka yonke? Uyaqiniseka ukuthi ubeka eceleni isikhathi kanye ngesonto ukubukela i-movie kusofa noma ukulungiselela isidlo ndawonye?
Lokhu umbuzo wokuhlola umshado kuzokusiza ubone ukuthi uwubeka phezulu kangakanani umshado wakho kunezinye izinto. Ngokuchitha isikhathi esezingeni elifanele nomuntu oshade naye, udlulisa umyalezo wokuthi ubaluleke kakhulu kuwe — futhi lokho kuyisinyathelo esibaluleke kakhulu kubo bonke ubuhlobo bomshado.
2. Ulala ocansini kangaki?
Yize imvamisa yezocansi ihluka ngokuya ngeminyaka yombhangqwana, uhlelo, impilo, kanye nokuzikhethela komuntu siqu, uma nihlanganyela omunye nomunye izikhathi ezingaphansi kwezingu-10 ngonyaka, ngobuchwepheshe kulokho okuthathwa njengomshado ongenabulili.
Ubulili bungenye yezinto ezibalulekile ngobudlelwano bomshado obubenza buhluke kubo bonke abanye. Kukubopha ngokomoya. Ikuxhumanisa ngokomzwelo. Futhi, kunezinzuzo eziningi ezingokomzimba eziza nakho.
Lokho kungenxa yokuthi ucansi lusiza ukukhulisa amasosha omzimba, lukhuphule ukuguquguquka kwemvelo, futhi lukhulule imizwa yengcindezi nengcindezi. Akungabazeki ngakho. Esinye sezinkomba ezihamba phambili zomshado onempilo umbhangqwana onempilo yempilo enempilo futhi engaguquguquki.
3. Ngabe owakwakho ungumngane wakho omkhulu?
Uma usushadile, umlingani wakho akufanele kube ukuphela komngane onaye; kepha uma bengumngane wakho omkhulu, leyo yinto enhle. Lokhu kusho ukuthi bangumuntu wokuqala okhetha ukuya kuye ngemizwa yakho, ukungabaza kwakho nokwesaba kwakho, nezidingo zakho ezingokomzwelo.
Bangumuntu wokuqala obheke kuye ukuze uthole ukusekelwa nokukhuthazwa. Bayizeluleko zomuntu wokuqala ozithathayo (futhi ozihloniphayo).
Enye yezinzuzo ezinkulu kakhulu zokuba abangane abakhulu nomngane wakho womshado iqiniso lokuthi kungasiza ekuqinisekiseni umshado wakho; ikakhulukazi uma kukhulunywa ngokugwema izindaba ezingaba khona ezingokomzwelo.
4. Ngabe niyibekile imingcele enempilo (ngisho nakomunye nomunye)?
Ukushada kumayelana nokuthi "ube munye" nomunye umuntu. Ngasikhathi sinye nokho, akufanele kuze kube izindleko zokulahlekelwa ubuntu bakho. Ingxenye yalokho iqukethe ukubeka imingcele enempilo, ngisho nasebudlelwaneni bakho bomshado.
Incwadi eyodwa engakusiza ukwenza lokho Imingcele Emshadweni nguHenry Cloud noJohn Townsend. Imingcele iphathelene nenhlonipho nokuhlakulela okubaluleke njengokuthanda umlingani wakho.
5. Ngabe unalo uhlelo lwezezimali nolokuthatha umhlalaphansi olukhona?
Ukuqina komshado nakho kuqukethe ukuqina kwezezimali. Ukugcina lokho engqondweni, ingabe wena nomlingani wakho ninalo uhlelo lwezezimali? Elikusizayo ukuphuma esikweletini, ukonga imali, nokugcina amaphuzu akho esikweletu ekhuphuka? Kuthiwani ngokuthatha umhlalaphansi?
Njengoba izindatshana eziningi zishicilelwa mayelana nokuthi abantu abaningi kuzofanele basebenze ngale kweminyaka yobudala yokuthatha umhlalaphansi, asikho isikhathi esinjengesamanje sokubeka izinhlelo ukwenza isiqiniseko sokuthi awuyena wabo.
6. Uyajabula?
Noma yimuphi umuntu oshadile uzokutshela ukuthi ukushada kuwumsebenzi onzima. Kungakho kungenangqondo ukulindela ukujabula ebudlelwaneni bakho konke zesikhathi.
Kepha uma kuyinyunyana enempilo, kufanele ukwazi ukuthola izikhathi cishe nsuku zonke ezizokwenza uklabalase, uhleke noma uhleke futhi ngokuqinisekile akufanele uzizwe wesaba, ukhathazekile, ungakhululekile, noma ungajabuli ebudlelwaneni bakho.
Lapho ujabulile emshadweni wakho, kusho ukuthi uyakwazi ukuthola injabulo, ukwaneliseka nenjabulo emshadweni wakho. Uma ukwazi ukuthi “yebo” ngokuphelele, amamatheke. Thatha umshado wakho ube nempilo enhle futhi ufanelekile!
Hlola impilo yakho yomshado:
Imibuzo Yokuqina Komshado
Sithemba ukuthi uphendule imibuzo kulo mshado usiza ukuhlolwa ngokuthembeka ngangokunokwenzeka. Uma ngemuva kokwenza isivivinyo, uzizwa ngathi usesebudlelwaneni obujabulisayo, obenelisayo, nobuzinzile nowakwakho, khona-ke siyakuhalalisela! Uma kungenjalo, sebenzela ezindaweni ozibona zidinga uthando lwakho nokunakwa kwakho.
Ungaguqula le mibuzo ibe yi- uhlu lwemibuzo lokuhlola umshado kumuntu osezoshada futhi ohlale elwa nombono wokuthi “ngikulungele yini ukushada?”
Uma isimo sobudlelwano bakho sibukeka sikhathaza ngempela, unganqikazi ukubhuka i-aphoyintimenti nomelaphi. Ngosizo oluncane lwangaphandle, kungenzeka ukuthi wena nomlingani wakho niguqule isimo somshado wenu ngokugcwele. Ngikufisela inhlanhla!