-Delile
- Ukwelashwa kwezithandani zamahhala nezishibhile
- Isesha ukwelashwa kwamahhala noma ngezindleko eziphansi
- Owelayisense ochwepheshe abanelayisense vs abeluleki bemishado
- Ochwepheshe baqeqeshelwa ukungachemi futhi babe nenhloso
- Omunye umehluko omkhulu uzwela
- Ukonga Umshado wakho ngokusebenzisa ukwelashwa okuphansi
Imishado ibalulekile, futhi futhi, nemali ibalulekile. Njengoba kunikezwe ukukhetha phakathi kokugcina ubudlelwano bakho ndawonye nokukhokha izikweletu zikagesi, abantu abaningi bazokwenza ukhetho lokugcina.
Imibhangqwana eminingi ibeka eqhulwini ekulungiseni imishado yayo.Iningi labantu alazi nokuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle nhlobo kuze kwenzeke okuthile okubucayi njengokungathembeki noma amaphepha edivosi angalindelekile.
Uma kunesisekelo esiphakathi semindeni enesabelomali, abantu abaningi kakhulu bazovuma ekwelashweni kwezithandani. Izikhathi zokwelulekwa ngemali ephansi zizosiza ukuvimbela izinkinga ekuqhumeni zilinganiswe futhi zisiphele esehlukanisweni esibi nesibizayo.
Ukwelashwa kwezithandani zamahhala nezishibhile
Abelaphi abaningi banikeza ukubonisana kwamahhala, kepha qonda ukuthi ukubonisana nokwelashwa yizinto ezimbili ezihlukile. Esokuqala ukuxilongwa kanti esinye ukwelashwa kwangempela. Uma umbhangqwana uzimisele ngokuxazulula izinkinga zawo zomshado, kuzofanele uqedele ukwelashwa.
Kunamaqembu wezingxoxo zontanga atholakala online. Njenge-AA, ziyasiza futhi zinganikeza indawo enhle nezinga elithile lokugcinwa kuyimfihlo. Kunezimo ezithile lapho kukhona ochwepheshe abakhona ekuxubeni benweba isandla sabo sokusiza mahhala ukuzimaketha.
Uthola lokho okukhokhelayo, ukwelashwa kwamahhala ku-inthanethi noma kwe-FTF kumane nje kuyisiqalo seqhwa.
Ngeke lube khona ucwaningo olunzulu lwamacala oluzokusiza ngokweqiniso njengombhangqwana. Uma ufuna induduzo nezeluleko, ungakuthola kubantu osondelene nabo. Uma ukwazi ukuxazulula izinkinga zakho ngokuxhumana nangokwabelana, kuzokulungela wena, kwabanye, izinto ziyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu kunendlela ebukeka ngayo.
Izikhathi zokwelashwa zangempela ziqhutshwa ochwepheshe abanamalayisense. Ingxoxo yetafula nontanga nxazonke ngaphandle kokuqondiswa ngumelaphi onelayisense kumane kuyiqembu lokugxila. Kodwa-ke, akukho lutho olungahambi kahle ngalokho, kwanele ukuthi abanye abashadikazi baxazulule ukungezwani kwabo, abanye kepha hhayi bonke.
Isesha ukwelashwa kwamahhala noma ngezindleko eziphansi
Usesho lwe-Google luzokunikeza izinhlangano zikazwelonke ezisiza abashadikazi kufaka phakathi i-marriage.com. Kuyadingeka ukwenza izintambo zokusesha eziqinile ezifana nokuthi “ukwelashwa ngezindleko eziphansi eduze kwami” noma “ukwelulekwa ngemishado mahhala [indawo]” ukuze uthole imiphumela efanelekile.
Kukhona futhi isithangami sewebhu, imicu yeReddit, namaqembu e-Facebook enza into efanayo. Kunamaqembu emhlabeni wonke, amaqembu ezizwe, namaqembu endawo. Uma uhlela ukwenza nje ukwelashwa okuku-inthanethi, indawo yeqembu lokweluleka ayinandaba. Kepha uma ufuna ukuba nezikhathi zobuso nobuso phansi kulayini, amaqembu endawo ayindlela engcono kakhulu.
Amaseshini aku-inthanethi ngokuvamile ashibhile kuneseshini yobuso nobuso. Abelaphi bakhokhisa ngehora kanye nabachwepheshe abanamalayisense bangakhokhisa njengama- $ 500 aphezulu ngokubonisana kokuqala kanye ne- $ 100 ngamahora okwelashwa. Kunezindawo ezinjengeNew York City lapho ochwepheshe bezempilo yengqondo babiza khona okungama-200-300 ngehora. Abelaphi abaku-inthanethi bakhokhisa abeluleki abancane kakhulu futhi abangenawo amalayisense babiza imali ephansi kakhulu.
Iningi lezikhathi zokwelashwa ezishibhile zenziwa ngochwepheshe abangenawo amalayisense. Akusho ukuthi abazi ukuthi benzani. Iningi labantu elibaqhubayo bangabameli bemishado asebeke badlula emishadweni enezinkinga bona uqobo.
Owelayisense ochwepheshe abanelayisense vs abeluleki bemishado
Kunomehluko omkhulu entengo. Kepha bobabili bazoqhuba iseshini yangasese ubuso nobuso, iqembu, noma iseshini eku-inthanethi futhi bakhokhise ngehora. Ngakho-ke kubalulekile ukubheka isiphakamiso senani.
Ochwepheshe abanamalayisense banganika imithi futhi babe nokuxhumana nezikhungo zikahulumeni lapho bebona isidingo sokungenelela. Abeluleki bezemishado ngeke bakwazi ukunikela ngemithi, bangancoma okunye okokwenza. Izinhlangano ezinkulu nazo zingaba nobudlelwano nezikhungo zikahulumeni.
Ochwepheshe abanamalayisense baneminyaka yokuqeqeshwa emibonweni nasekuqhubeni izikhathi zokwelashwa. Ukwelashwa ngezindleko eziphansi nabeluleki bemishado banamahora ambalwa ekuqeqesheni, izingqungquthela ezimbalwa kakhulu, futhi akukho ukuqeqeshwa okuyisimo esibi kakhulu.
Izifundo zethiyori nezamacala ezitholakala kochwepheshe ziphinde zibanikeze ukuqonda okujulile kwamandla okushada kwabashadikazi. Isipiliyoni sihamba phambili, kepha akunakwenzeka ukuthi umuntu ahlangabezane nazo zonke izimo ezingaba khona kanye nemiphumela yazo engahle ibe khona empilweni. Kodwa-ke, akudingeki ukwelashwa okuphumelelayo, kepha kuyasiza.
Ochwepheshe baqeqeshelwa ukungachemi futhi babe nenhloso
Kukhona abelaphi abangakwazi ukubamba imibono yabo yalolu daba ikakhulukazi ezimweni zokuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi, ukuhlukunyezwa emakhaya nokungathembeki. Kodwa-ke, kubonakala ngathi akukho mehluko phakathi kwabelaphi abanamalayisense nabeluleki bemishado uma kukhulunywa ngokuchema.
Omunye umehluko omkhulu uzwela
Ochwepheshe abaqeqeshiwe benza konke okusemandleni abo ukuthi babe nenhloso futhi ngenxa yalokho. Abeluleki bemishado, ikakhulukazi abavolontiya, bazwelana kakhulu nemibhangqwana kanye nemindeni yabo. Abeluleki bamavolontiya nabo badlule ebuhlungwini obufanayo futhi bangakwazi ukuxhumana namakhasimende abo ezingeni lomzwelo.
Uma ufuna umngane nomelaphi. Ukwelashwa ngezindleko eziphansi okuvela kubeluleki kungenye indlela enhle. Kepha uma ufuna udokotela nodokotela bengqondo, ochwepheshe bayindlela yokuhamba.
Uma uzibuza ukuthi kungani ukwelashwa ngezindleko eziphansi nomuntu onozwela akuyona njalo enye indlela engcono yokuthola ochwepheshe abaqeqeshiwe nabanamalayisense. Kulula, izinkinga eziningi zobudlelwano zisuselwa kumlingani oyedwa onenkinga yobuntu.
Izinkinga ezinjenge-narcissism, ukuphazamiseka kwezocansi, noma ukuhlanya okucacile kwe-bat-shit. Umelaphi onelayisense uzokwazi ukubona kahle lezo zingqinamba, futhi axazulule imbangela yomuntu ngamunye ecindezela ubudlelwano.
Ukonga Umshado wakho ngokusebenzisa ukwelashwa okuphansi
Imibhangqwana eminingi iyakwazi ukuxazulula izingqinamba zayo ngaphandle kosizo lwabelaphi. Abantu abazimisele ngokufuna usizo, kepha abakwazi ukukhokha izindleko zochwepheshe abanamalayisense bangafuna ezinye izindlela kumaqembu okugxila kuwo, ukwelulekwa kontanga, nakwezinye izindlela zokumela.
Kunamaqembu anikela ngezikhathi zokwelulekwa mahhala futhi akucela kuphela ukuthi ukhokhele izinto zokufunda ukwengeza ukwelashwa. Ukwenza inkuthalo yakho efanele ukuthola umelaphi olungele wena kwisabelomali osidingayo uma uzimisele ukwamukela amaseshini aku-inthanethi. Uma unenhlanhla, kungabakhona namaqembu abameli eduze kwakho noma aqale elilodwa.