-Delile
- Akha uthando
- 1. Ukungafihli lutho
- 2. Ukwaneliseka ngokomzwelo
- 3. Ukuxhumana okujulile
- Ukwenza Ucansi
- 1. Isifiso sobugovu
- 2. Ukwaneliseka ngokomzimba
- 3. Alukho uxhumano olujulile
Ucansi ubulili nje. Kepha uma ungeza ukuthanda oshade naye ku-equation ubulili bungaphendulwa bube "ukwenza uthando". Ukwenza ucansi nokwenza uthando akufani. Ngiyazi, ngiyazi, lokho kuzwakala kufingqiwe. Kuneqiniso kuleso sitatimende nokho. Kube nezikhathi lapho ngingenaso isimo sokwehla phansi futhi ukuya ocansini akusho okufanayo kimi njengezikhathi engikuso impela kulowo mzuzu. Ake sihlukane. Nawu umehluko phakathi kokwenza uthando nocansi. Lo mbhalo uzokusiza uqonde ukuthi yini inqubo yokwenza uthando nokuthi yehluke kanjani kwezocansi.
Akha uthando
1. Ukungafihli lutho
Ukungafihli lutho noshade naye kufanele kwenziwe kuzo zonke izici zobudlelwano bakho. Ukuvuleleka nokwethembeka ngayo yonke into kuvumela wena noshade naye ukuba nazane ngokujulile. Okuvumela ukuthi nobabili nikhululeke ngokuphelele komunye nomunye.
Ukuba obala kufanele kudlulisele nakwimpilo yakho yezocansi. Kukhona okwenzekayo okungenakuqhathaniswa lapho bobabili abantu abasemshadweni bengabelana ngokusobala noma yini komunye nomunye, kufaka phakathi abakuthandayo nabangajabuli embhedeni. Ingasaphathwa eyocansi olungcono.
2. Ukwaneliseka ngokomzwelo
Mina nomyeni wami sihlala siwubona umehluko lapho sixhuma ngokujulile ngenkathi senza uthando. Kuke kwaba nezikhathi lapho kuba sengathi singamazwe ahlukene kodwa sihleli eduze komunye nomunye noma, kwesinye isikhathi, empeleni senza "ucansi nje". Kulezo zikhathi, izikhathi eziningi kunalokho, ngiyabona ukuthi asikaze sizibandakanye ekwenzeni uthando olungokomzwelo isikhashana futhi sizizwe sinesidingo sokwenza lokho kuxhumana okungokomzwelo. Ngemuva kokuthi sihlangane futhi sihlangane kuleso sikhala, sobabili sinomuzwa wokuthi sisekhasini elilodwa futhi. Ukwenza uthando lwangempela kubalulekile ekuxhumaneni ngokomzwelo okungekho ocansini olucacile.
3. Ukuxhumana okujulile
Kulethwe kimi ukuthi umyeni wami uzizwa ethandwa kakhulu lapho ngimfuna. Ngiphinde ngabona ukuthi ngizizwa ngixhumene kangcono naye lapho sisondelene ngokomzimba masonto onke. Leyo micabango emibili "yesibani sokukhanya" isisizile sobabili nomyeni wami ukwenza ngamabomu ukusondelana ngokomzimba kube yinto eza kuqala. Kepha hhayi ukushesha nje. Ngikhuluma ngokwenziwa kwangempela kothando. Ukwenza uthando emshadweni kubalulekile, ucansi olucacile nje alwanele.
Ukwenza Ucansi
1. Isifiso sobugovu
Kubukeka sengathi lapho mina nomyeni wami senza nje "ucansi", imvamisa kungenxa yokuthi angikho esimeni futhi yena unjalo. NOMA okuphambene nalokho. Uma lokho kwenzeka, akukho ukuxhumana okungokomzwelo okwenzekayo, isifiso nje sokwehla.
Lokho okuza ngakho ubugovu obuyisisekelo. Akekho kithi okhathalela ngokwanele ngaleso sikhathi ngomunye umuntu ongafuni ukuya ocansini. Imayelana nalokho akufunayo noma konke mayelana nokuthi ngifunani kuye ngokuthi ngubani osemoyeni. Lolu hlobo lobulili, ngenkathi lujabulisa ngokoqobo ngokomzimba, luvame ukushiya oyedwa noma thina sobabili sizizwa sisebenzisa i-tad. Lapho wenza ucansi vs wenza uthando, yilokhu okushodayo kwezocansi, ukunakekelwa kokufunwa omunye umlingani.
2. Ukwaneliseka ngokomzimba
Sonke singabantu. Ngakho-ke ngokwemvelo, kunezikhathi (kwesinye isikhathi kaningi kakhulu kunezinye) lapho sizwa khona isidingo sokwaneliseka. Yize lesi sifiso singaba sihle, singakhuthaza nobugovu emshadweni wakho lapho kuhambisana nezidingo zomlingani oyedwa.
Okusibuyisela kuwo wonke umqondo wesifiso sobugovu.
Ngezansi, lapho umbhangqwana oshadile ungenzi "ukuthandana" imvamisa benza ucansi nje okusho ukuthi umuntu kungenzeka angaluzwa lolo thando kwesinye isikhathi. Ekwenzeni uthando ngokuya ocansini, ucansi lungahle lungabi nentshisekelo kepha kuhlale kunenjabulo nokuzijabulisa esimisweni sokwenza uthando somyeni nenkosikazi.
3. Alukho uxhumano olujulile
Iqiniso elidabukisayo ngokwehluleka ukwenza uthando noshade naye ukuthi mancane amathuba okuxhuma ngokweqiniso.Impela, ungaba ngabangane abahamba phambili, kepha ngaphandle kokuxhumeka okujulile okuhlanganisa indoda nowesifazane, nihlala ndawonye ngenhlonipho.
Ukudlula nje ngama-quickies noma uhlobo "lokuhlangana" kuzovimba ukuxhumana kwakho nomshado wakho. Ekwenzeni uthando ngokuya ocansini, uma ucabanga ukuthi ukwenza uthando akusafuneki uma kukhona ucansi nobungane, wenza iphutha elikhulu.
Umehluko phakathi kocansi nokwenza uthando akuyona into okufanele uyixazulule ngokujulile, kepha-ke, ukwenza uthando olujulile akuyona into engxoxisanayo yokuba nomshado onempilo nowenelisayo. Ucansi lwenzelwe ukuba lube mnandi, lujabulise futhi luxhumanise indoda nowesifazane. Uma wena noma oshade naye nikuthola kunzima ukwenza uthando esikhundleni sokuya ocansini kuphela, zama ukudala indawo lapho izidingo zomzwelo nezomzimba zikhula khona. Kuthatha isikhathi nokuzijwayeza kepha kufanelekile ekugcineni. Yenza uthando hhayi ucansi kuphela ngomshado oqinile nowanelisayo.