-Delile
- Ngubani oqedela ukululama kokungathembeki?
- Izigaba zokutakula ukungathembeki
- 1. Indaba
- 2. Ukuphinda uthole ubuhlobo bakho
- 3. Ukwembula izingqinamba ezijulile
- 4. Ukubhekana nobuhlungu nokuqonda ukuphathwa kobuhlungu
- 5. Ukwakha umugqa wesikhathi
- 6. Ukuthethelelwa kanye nenqubo yokwelashwa
- 7. Iseluleko uma unezingane
- 8. Uqhubeka kanjani
Izigaba zokululama kokungathembeki ziyindlela yokwelashwa eyenzelwe ukukusiza ukubhekana nokuhlukumezeka okungokomzwelo okulandelayo ngemuva kokuya ocansini ebudlelwaneni bakho. Imizwelo ingakucindezela ngokungazethembi, ukukhathazeka, ukukhathazeka, ubuhlungu nokungathembi kulandela ukungathembeki. Lokhu kungaba nzima ukusebenza ngokwakho futhi kungadala ukulimala ngokomzwelo eminyakeni ezayo.
Ukufuna ukwelulekwa ngochwepheshe kungakuzuzisa kakhulu ungashadile noma njengombhangqwana. Izigaba zokutakula ukungathembeki zenzelwe ukusebenza ngezinkinga zakho, ukuxhuma kabusha wena noma umlingani wakho, ukudala umugqa wesikhathi, nokwakha uhlelo lokuthi uqhubekela phambili kanjani. Lo mbhalo ubheka izigaba zokubuyiselwa kokungathembeki nokuthi zingakusiza kanjani.
Ngubani oqedela ukululama kokungathembeki?
Akunandaba ukuthi kuthatha yiphi indlela, ukukopela kungenye yezinto ezibuhlungu kakhulu ongadlula kuzo. Ngakho-ke, le nqubo ingenziwa yodwa njengendlela yokusebenza ngemizwa yakho noma nomlingani wakho njengendlela yokwelulekwa ngomshado.
Uma nithandana, le nqubo ingakusiza ufunde ukuthi ungaya kanjani phambili ndawonye noma ngokwehlukana. Uma ushiye umlingani wakho, ukululama kokungathembeki kusengakusiza ukuthi ubhekane nokuhlehla kwendaba kanye nezinkinga okungenzeka ukuthi zibange empilweni yakho njengemizwa yokungathembi, ukukhaphela nokungabaza.
Akunandaba ukuthi zinjani izimo zakho, uzothola kuyasiza ukuba nochwepheshe eceleni kwakho njengoba usebenza kulolo daba.
Izigaba zokutakula ukungathembeki
Njengezinye izindlela eziningi zokwelulekwa ngomshado, ukwelashwa kokungathembeki kwenziwa ngezigaba, zenzelwe ukwazi wena nomlingani wakho kangcono. Lokhu kuzosiza umelaphi wakho aqonde izimo zakho zomuntu siqu futhi akuvumele ukuthi uzazi wena nezidingo zomlingani wakho nakwizinga elithile elehlukile. Nazi izigaba ezijwayelekile zokwelashwa kokungathembeki.
1. Indaba
Njengoba lesi yisizathu sokuthi ulapha, ukwelashwa kokungathembeki kuzomboza izigaba zobudlelwano bakho, kufaka phakathi udaba. Lokhu kungangena ngokuningiliziwe ukuze bobabili abathintekayo bathembeke ngokuphelele komunye nomunye hhayi kuphela ngendaba kepha okungenzeka kuholele ekuqhekekeni kothando nokuxhumana phakathi kwabashadikazi.
Lesi kungaba yisinyathelo esibuhlungu kakhulu ezigabeni zokubuyiselwa kokungathembeki, kepha kuyadingeka.
2. Ukuphinda uthole ubuhlobo bakho
Uma inhloso yakho ukuhlala ndawonye, isigaba esisodwa sokululama sizozithola wena nomlingani wakho. Ngemuva kokuqomisana, kunzima kakhulu ukuqala kabusha ubudlelwano bakho bangaphambili njengoba kwakunjalo ngaphambili. Kungakho kubaluleke kangaka ukugxila ekwakheni entsha ndawonye. Umelaphi wakho uzokusiza ukukunikeza ithuluzi ozolidinga lokubeka okwedlule ngemuva kwakho futhi uphinde ugxile ekutholeni okuhle ebudlelwaneni bakho.
3. Ukwembula izingqinamba ezijulile
Izindaba eziningi zenzeka ngaphandle kwesizathu kanti ezinye zingahle zibe umkhiqizo wokudangala, ukungabi naluthando noma uthando ebudlelwaneni obukhona manje, ukusetshenziswa kabi kwezidakamizwa, noma ukuhlukumezeka okwedlule. Uma umelaphi wakho ethola noma iyiphi yalezi zinkinga njengesizathu esiyinhloko sokungajabuli ebudlelwaneni bazoqala ukubhekana nalokhu njengengxenye yohlelo lokwelashwa.
4. Ukubhekana nobuhlungu nokuqonda ukuphathwa kobuhlungu
Njengoba umelaphi kunguchwepheshe oqeqeshiwe bazokusiza ukubhekana nanoma yibuphi ubuhlungu nokuzwisa ubuhlungu obuzwayo. Bangakwazi ngisho nokuthola izimpawu nemiphumela engemihle ebangelwe yilolu daba olukuhluphayo, njengalezo ezihlobene ne-PTSD noma ukuhlukumezeka. Bazokwazi futhi ukukusiza ngokuphathwa kobuhlungu obungokomzwelo futhi bakusize ubhekane nobuhlungu benhliziyo obuzwayo.
5. Ukwakha umugqa wesikhathi
Ezinye izigaba zokuthola ukungathembeki zifaka phakathi ukwakha umugqa wesikhathi. Ngalesi sigaba uzonikezwa umugqa wesikhathi, yisho inyanga, ukuthola ukuthi ngabe ufuna ukuhlala ndawonye noma nihlukane. Sebenzisa lesi sigaba ukwakha uhlu lweqiniso lwe-pro / con lokuthi ukuhlala ndawonye kungaba lusizo yini noma cha. Kubalulekile ukuthi uvule futhi uthembeke kuwe nakuzakwenu ngalesi sikhathi futhi ungalokothi usheshe isinqumo sakho. Ekupheleni kwenyanga uzotshela umeluleki wakho ukuthi nihlala ndawonye noma niyahlukana yini.
6. Ukuthethelelwa kanye nenqubo yokwelashwa
Izindaba zingamava abuhlungu kubo bobabili abathintekayo. Ngenxa yokungathembeki, ukuba necala, ukungathembani nentukuthelo kungangena ebudlelwaneni bakho noma ngabe uzama konke okusemandleni akho ukuthethelela umlingani wakho. Le mizwa ephikisanayo ingaba nzima ukubhekana nayo. Umelaphi wakho angakusiza ngenqubo yokuphulukisa. Lokhu kufaka phakathi ukudala uhlelo lwezinto ezenziwayo zokuthi ungaxhumana kanjani kabusha njengabalingani abangabangani nabangane, nokuthi ungakwakha kanjani kabusha ukwethembana komunye nomunye, nokuthi ungazibophezela kanjani ebudlelwaneni obubonakala buphukile.
7. Iseluleko uma unezingane
Uma unezingane ndawonye udokotela wakho kungenzeka afake leso sici sobuhlobo bakho esimisweni sakho sokwelulekwa ngesikhathi esisodwa noma kwesinye. Bazolalela ukukhathazeka kwakho maqondana nezingane zakho, indaba, nokukhetha kwakho ukuthi nihlale ndawonye noma cha futhi bazokwazi ukukufundisa indlela engcono kakhulu yokuba ngumzali ngokubambisana ngenkathi ubhekene nalesi sikhathi esinzima.
8. Uqhubeka kanjani
Ekupheleni kwesikhathi sakho osikhethile, kuzofanele wazise umeluleki wakho ngokuthi ngabe uthathe isinqumo sokuhlala ndawonye noma cha. Kusukela kuleli phuzu ungaqhubeka nokwelashwa kwemibhangqwana uma nisacabanga ngesimo sakho sobudlelwano, noma udlulele ezikhathini zokwelashwa ezizodwa ukusiza ukuzazi kangcono.
Noma ngabe ukhetha ukwenzani, umelaphi wakho uzokwazi ukukusiza ukuthi uhlele inkambo yokuthi ungaqhubeka kanjani nezimpilo zakho ngokubambisana noma ngokwehlukana ukuze uqhubeke nokuphila impilo yakho futhi uthuthuke ufinyelele ezinhlosweni zakho.
Inhloso enkulu yokwelashwa kokungathembeki ukufunda ukuxolela. Le ndlela yokwelashwa ayisheshe futhi iza ngezigaba eziningi, kepha izinzuzo zidlula kakhulu ubunzima. Imibhangqwana noma abangashadile ababhekene nengwadla yomoya ngenxa yokuthandana ebudlelwaneni babo bazozuza kakhulu kule ndlela yokwelulekwa.