-Delile
- Ukugula okungamahlalakhona kubuthinta kanjani ubuhlobo
- Ungabhekana kanjani nakho?
- Khulumisanani
- Nciphisa imizwelo ecindezelayo
- Yisho izidingo zakho
Ngokusho kochwepheshe, imishado engamaphesenti angama-75 lapho omunye wale mibhangqwana yahlaselwa yisifo esingalapheki igcina idivosi. Kuzwakala kusinda, akunjalo? Ukuba nokugula okungalapheki njengesifo samathambo, isifo sikashukela, noma umdlavuza kungalimaza ubuhlobo obuhle kakhulu, kungaba ngumlingani, umngane noma umndeni.
Okwenzeka lapha lapho umuntu egula kakhulu ukuthi umuntu ogulayo kungenzeka angazizwa ngendlela ayezizwa ngayo ngaphambi kokugula, kanti umuntu osondelene nalowo ogulayo njengomndeni noma umlingani kungenzeka angazi ukuthi angazisingatha kanjani izinguquko. Lokhu ekugcineni kuholela ekucindezelekeni ebudlelwaneni nakubantu bobabili.
Ngakho-ke, uzisingatha kanjani lezi zinto?
Ngokubekezela nokuzibophezela, kunezindlela wena nalabo abaseduze kwakho abangabhekana ngazo nobunzima obubangelwa ukugula okungamahlalakhona ebudlelwaneni bakho. Ngakho-ke, uma kushiwo, funda kabanzi ngale ndatshana ukuze wazi ukuthi ungalusingatha kanjani lolu hlobo lwesehlakalo esibi empilweni yomuntu.
Ukugula okungamahlalakhona kubuthinta kanjani ubuhlobo
Ngaphambi kokuthi sikhulume ngokuthi umuntu angakwazi kanjani ukubhekana nomuntu onesifo esingelapheki, ake siqale sixoxe ngokuthi sibuthinta kanjani noma sibuthinta kanjani ubuhlobo nokuthi sibuthinta kanjani ubuhlobo phakathi kwabantu.
Ngenxa yokugula, imikhuba yansuku zonke ingashintsha ngenxa yemikhawulo yesiguli futhi okufunwa ukwelashwa kungadinga isikhathi esithe xaxa okungagcina kuholele ekukhathaleni komnakekeli okungadala ukudumazeka nobunzima ebudlelwaneni.
Ngokwengeziwe, ingcindezi ingahle iqoqwe kuyo yonke inqubo futhi ingadala imizwa enamandla efana nentukuthelo, ukudabuka, ukuba necala, ukwesaba nokudangala. Lesi yisona sizathu esikhulu sokuthi kungani ezinye izibopho ziholela ekunqanyulweni, futhi uma kumayelana nomshado, bese kuba isehlukaniso.
Ungabhekana kanjani nakho?
Okokuqala, njengoba ukucindezeleka kuyimbangela eyinhloko yalolu hlobo, umuntu kufanele acabange ukuthi anganciphisa kanjani ukucindezeleka noma abhekane nokucindezeleka kwakhe.
Umuthi wokucindezela ungahle ulungele umuntu obhekene nalesi simo esicindezelayo ukuze asize inqubo yokukhululeka kwengcindezi nokuvikela.
Odokotela bangahle banikeze uhla lwemithi efana nama-anti-depressants, sedatives, ne-beta-blockers asetshenziselwe ukusiza abantu ukuthi babhekane nengcindezi.
Amakhuphoni ezidakamizwa zokucindezeleka kufanele akwazi ukusiza ngokwezezimali ukuze angathwali isabelomali somndeni ngokwengeziwe. Ngokwengeziwe, uma ufuna izindlela zemvelo zokubhekana nengcindezi nemithwalo, ungabe usakhathazeka, ngoba kuzobhekanwa nakho lapha ukukusiza.
Khulumisanani
Ukuxhumana kuyisihluthulelo ebudlelwaneni bonke noma ngabe umuntu uyagula noma cha.
Ngakho-ke, uma ufuna ukubhekana nengcindezi ngenxa yokugula komlingani wakho noma kwelungu lomndeni, kufanele uzwakalise imizwa yakho ukuze ukuxhumana kuhlale ngoba ukungabi nezingxoxo kuholela emuzwa webanga nokusondelana.
Isinyathelo sokuqala sokukhulumisana ngempumelelo ukuthola izindlela zokukhuluma ngokukhululekile ngezinselelo nobabili enibhekene nazo, lokhu kuphumela emizweni yokusondelana nokusebenza ngokubambisana okuhle. Okufanele ukukhumbule ekukhulumisaneni ukuthola ileveli efanele yokuxhumana, kufanele uthole indawo ephakathi nendawo.
Nciphisa imizwelo ecindezelayo
Noma ngubani okulesi simo uzizwa ephatheke kabi futhi azizwe ekhathazekile ngenxa yokugula okungalapheki. Kungakho indlela engcono yokubhekana nalokhu ukulawula imizwa yakho ngokukhomba umsuka wokukhathazeka futhi uthole izindlela zokukuxazulula.
Kunezindlela zokunciphisa imizwa ecindezelayo, njengokululekwa. Ungahamba ndawonye nesiguli noma ngokwehlukana niyokwelulekwa ngudokotela, ungqongqoshe noma abanye ochwepheshe abaqeqeshiwe ukukusiza ubhekane namandla okulawula imizwa yakho.
Enye into elula ukuyenza ukunakekela impilo nengqondo yakho ngokuzindla noma ngokwenza izinto ezingakusiza uphumule.
Yisho izidingo zakho
Ngokugula isiguli sihlupheka nobunzima obungokomzwelo ongahle ubhekane nabo, ngubani ongafuna ukuqagela ngalesi sikhathi, akunjalo? Kungakho bobabili kufanele basho izidingo zomuntu ukuze zicace futhi ziqonde ngqo ngezinto azifunayo ngoba, umlingani wakho akayena umfundi wezingqondo.
Ukuze ulinganise ukuguquka kobudlelwano, udinga ukukhuluma omunye nomunye ngendlela yokuhweba imisebenzi nezibopho ukuze ungashisi umlingani wakho noma ilungu lomndeni.
Ukwazi ukuthi nobabili nikulokhu ndawonye kuzosiza ukunciphisa umthwalo omunye umuntu awuzwayo ngakho-ke le kuyindlela enhle yokusizana.
Ukugula okungalapheki sekuvele kuthinte isiguli kepha lokho akusho ukuthi umnakekeli noma umlingani naye akathinteki. Kungenzeka kungabi ngokwenyama, kepha umthwalo ongokomzwelo umuntu awuthwele nawo ubalulekile, yingakho kuthatha okubili ukuya ku-tango, okusho ukuthi kuthatha bobabili ukwenza ubudlelwano busebenze.