-Delile
- Incazelo yokwedelelwa kumongo wobudlelwano bezothando
- Izibonelo zokuziphatha okwedelelayo ebudlelwaneni
- Imiphumela yokwedelelwa
- Kungenzeka yini ukuthi ubudlelwano bothando buvuselele ekuziphatheni okwedelelayo?
- Izindlela ezi-10 eziphezulu zokulungisa ukwedelela ebudlelwaneni bezothando
- 1. Ukuqonda uhlangothi lwakho olumnyama
- 2. Ukuxhumana okuqondile njengokufaka esikhundleni sokwedelela
- 3. Shintsha imizwa yakho ngokubheka okuhle
- 4. Phinda ubuke okwedlule
- 5. Ukuhlakulela isiko lokwazisa
- 6. Khononda, kepha ungagxeki
- 7. Uzwelo luyisihluthulelo
- 8. Thola izimbangela zemizwa yokwedelela
- 9. Ukulalela kubalulekile
- 10. Ukulinganisela okulindele kuwe
- Isiphetho
Umqondo wokwedelelwa, ikakhulukazi ebudlelwaneni bezothando, kunzima ukuwubona futhi ubhekane nawo. Akunakuphikwa ukuthi abukho ubuhlobo obuphelele. Bonke ubudlelwano nomshado kunezingxabano, futhi ukwedelela kuvame ukubonakala ngezindlela ezicashile.
Kodwa-ke, okuvamile kulezi zingxabano iqiniso lokuthi kunezizathu noma izimbangela ezaziwayo. Uma kukhulunywa ngokuzizwa udelela omunye wakho obalulekile, izinto zingakhohlisa.
Uma ufuna ukwazi okwengeziwe ngokwedelelwa emishadweni nobudlelwano bezothando nokuthi ungakulungisa kanjani ukwedelelwa ebudlelwaneni, funda nje uqhubeke!
Ucwaningo olwenziwe nguDkt.UGottman ubike ukuthi ukwedelelwa kungenye yezimbangela ezinkulu zesehlukaniso nokwehlukana.
Ngakho-ke, kucace bha ukuthi imizwa yokwedelela nokuziphatha okujivazayo kokunye okubalulekile idinga ukukhonjwa futhi kusetshenzwe ngayo ekuqaleni.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Izindlela Ezi-8 Izithandani Zingabulungisa Ubuhlobo Bazo Ngemuva Kokuphikisana
Incazelo yokwedelelwa kumongo wobudlelwano bezothando
Ngakho-ke, kuyini ukwedelelwa ebudlelwaneni? Indlela elula yokuchaza ukwedelelwa ebudlelwaneni kulapho uxhumana nomunye wakho obalulekile ngendlela ebahlekisayo.
Lapho umlingani esebenzisa ukugxeka nokubhuqa ukubhuqa nokuhlasela omunye umlingani, lokho kuyikudelela. Kodwa-ke, ukuhlekwa usulu kwenzeka ngendlela ecashile, engaqondile, enolaka.
Isimo esicashile sokwedelela yikho okwenza kube nzima ukukhomba nokubhekana naso. Kalula nje, kuphambene nokuba nenhlonipho kumlingani wakho.
Izibonelo zokuziphatha okwedelelayo ebudlelwaneni
Ukuqonda ukuthi ungakulungisa kanjani ukwedelela ebudlelwaneni, udinga ukwazi izibonelo ezithile kanye nezimpawu zokuziphatha okwedelelayo.
Kubukeka kanjani ukwedelela? Ukuxhumana okwedelelayo kuyinhlanganisela yokuxhumana ngamazwi nangamazwi. Ezinye izimpawu zifaka:
- Ihlaya elihlekisayo
- Ukubiza amagama athukayo anjengomubi, olahlekile, umkhomo ononile, njll.
- Ihaba
- Isimo sobuso njengokuklolodela, ukuphakamisa udebe olungaphezulu, ukugingqa iso, njll.
- Ukungahloniphi omunye umuntu obalulekile
Ukuze ufunde ukuthi ungakulungisa kanjani ukwedelela ebudlelwaneni, okokuqala, bheka ezinye zalezi zibonelo zokweyisa kumongo wobudlelwano:
- “Uyingulube ekhuluphele, enobugovu! Konke okwenzayo ukuziphekela udle! Kwenzekeni ukungiphekela, huh ?! ”
- “Uyahlanya? Ubani oshayela njengomuntu ohlanyayo, ha ?! Usulahlekelwe yingqondo? ”
- “Uyazi ukuthi kungani uhlale wephuzile? Ngoba awucabangi! ”
Manje njengoba wazi ngezimpawu nezibonelo zokwedelelwa ebudlelwaneni ake sibheke eminye yemiphumela emikhulu yokwedelelwa ngaphambi kokufunda ukulungisa indelelo ebudlelwaneni.
Nazi ezinye izibonelo nezimpawu zokwedelela ebuhlotsheni ongazihlola:
Imiphumela yokwedelelwa
Lapho uzizwa udelela omunye wakho obalulekile futhi usebenza ngakho, kungaba nemiphumela eminingana ecasulayo. Futhi kungani lokhu kwenzeka? Kungenxa yokuthi kunomehluko ogqamile phakathi kokugxekwa okwakhayo nokuxhumana okwedelelayo.
Uma uyiqonda imiphumela yendelelo, ukuqonda ukuthi ungakulungisa kanjani ukwedelela ebudlelwaneni kuba lula.
Ukwedelela kunamandla okwenza ubudlelwano bezothando noma umshado uzizwe ungaphephile kumamukeli wokuziphatha okwedelelayo. Ubudlelwano buqala ukuzizwa njengenkundla yempi. Esikhundleni sokubona ubudlelwane njengesiphephelo, buqala ukuzizwa buyingozi kumamukeli.
Kungani lokhu kwenzeka? Kungenxa yokuthi izimpawu zokwedelela ebuhlotsheni zingenza omunye wakho obalulekile azizwe ephansi futhi engafaneleki. Ukwedelela kunamandla okulimaza kakhulu imizwa yomamukeli.
Uma uzizwa sengathi umlingani wakho udelela wena, kungahle kube ukuhamba kwamandla ekugcineni komlingani wakho. Isidingo sokulawula, amandla, nokuphakama kungaba yikho okubangela imizwa yokwedelelwa.
Ngeshwa, uma nikuvumela lokhu kuqhubeke, kungaba nomthelela omkhulu esibophweni esingokomzwelo phakathi kwenu nobabili.
Ubudlelwano bakho bungazizwa njengesikhala lapho kufanele uvikeleke khona futhi uzivikele. Kungazizwa sengathi uhlala uzama ukugwema ukugxekwa nokuhamba ngamagobolondo amaqanda ngaso sonke isikhathi.
Umqondo wokuhlangana nomlingani wakho ekupheleni kosuku awubonakali ukhanga kuwe ngoba uhlala ukwimodi yokuvikela.
Kungenzeka yini ukuthi ubudlelwano bothando buvuselele ekuziphatheni okwedelelayo?
Yize ukwedelelwa kunamandla amabi aqinile emishadweni nasebudlelwaneni bezothando, ziningi izikhala zokukhomba kahle lezi zimilo nokuzilungisa.
Uma nje wazi ngezimpawu zokwedelela ebudlelwaneni, unamandla okusebenzisana nomlingani wakho ukulungisa le nkinga. Ukuvumela izinto zisuke esandleni, ngeshwa, kungaphula ubuhlobo bakho.
Lokhu kwenzeka ngoba uma ungumamukeli wezenzo nokuziphatha okwedelelayo, ungahle uyeke ukuba uqobo lwakho.
Ngakho-ke, manje njengoba usukwazi konke okumele ukwazi mayelana nencazelo, izimpawu, izibonelo nemiphumela yokwedelelwa, ake sihlole ukuthi singakuyeka kanjani ukuzizwa sidelelwa nokuthi singakulungisa kanjani ukwedelelwa ebudlelwaneni.
Izindlela ezi-10 eziphezulu zokulungisa ukwedelela ebudlelwaneni bezothando
Ukwedelela kungaba yingozi ebudlelwaneni. Nazi izindlela eziphumelela kakhulu ze- ungayilungisa kanjani indelelo ebudlelwaneni:
1. Ukuqonda uhlangothi lwakho olumnyama
Esinye sezinyathelo zokunqoba ukwedelelwa ebudlelwaneni ukuzibheka wena. Bheka ekujuleni kokuthambekela kwakho kokuziphatha uma uzizwa udelelekile. Kudinga isibindi esikhulu ukuzibheka ngaphakathi kwakho futhi uqonde ukuthi uziphatha kanjani.
Abanye abantu bathambekele kakhulu ekuziphatheni okudelelayo, njengalabo bantu abanye ababiza kaningi ngokuthi “banonya.” Ezinye izinhlobo zabantu zifaka phakathi labo abazikhukhumezayo, abavame ukusebenzisa ubuhlakani, futhi banolaka.
2. Ukuxhumana okuqondile njengokufaka esikhundleni sokwedelela
Njengoba kushiwo ngaphambili, uma udelela othandiweyo wakho, usebenzisa ukugxeka nokubhuqa ngokungaqondile ukuze uhlekise ngomlingani wakho ngobuqili. Ngakho-ke, akuyona indlela eqondile yokuxhumana.
Uma kukhulunywa ngokufunda ukuthi ungakulungisa kanjani ukwedelela ebudlelwaneni, ukusebenza ekuxhumaneni kwakho nomlingani wakho kubaluleke kakhulu.
Noma yibuphi ubudlelwano obunempilo bakhelwe esisekelweni sokuxhumana okuqondile nokuvulelekile. Ngakho-ke, empeleni kungcono ukuveza ukugxeka kwakho ngqo esikhundleni sokudida umlingani wakho.
3. Shintsha imizwa yakho ngokubheka okuhle
Manje, lokhu kusikisela kulula ukusho kunokukwenza. Leli phuzu ngokuyisisekelo lithi kufanele usebenze emizweni yakho engemihle bese uyifaka esikhundleni semizwa emihle ngomlingani wakho.
Ukuba nombono wethemba kungakusiza emzameni wakho wokushintsha imizwa yakho, bese, ugcine isibopho sakho nomunye wakho obalulekile. Enye yezimbangela ezivame kakhulu zokudelelwa yimbono engemihle ngothandiweyo wakho.
Ngakho-ke, ngokwelashwa, ungazama ukusebenzela imizwa yakho, bese, uguqula umbono wakho, ukuze ubone umlingani wakho kahle.
4. Phinda ubuke okwedlule
Le ngenye yezindlela ezilula zokuqonda ukuthi ungakulungisa kanjani ukwedelela ebudlelwaneni. Thatha umzila wememori yokuhambahamba bese ugxila kuzo zonke lezo zinkumbulo ezimnandi owabelane ngazo nomlingani wakho.
Kungaba okokuqala ngqa ukuhlangana nomlingani wakho, ingxoxo ehlekisayo obukade unabo, ubusuku obukhethekile bothando nokusondelana nothandekayo wakho, i-honeymoon yakho, ubusuku bosuku obumatasa, njalonjalo.
5. Ukuhlakulela isiko lokwazisa
Leli phuzu likhuluma ngomsebenzi okufanele uwufake ekwelapheni ukwedelelwa ebudlelwaneni njalo. Ukunqoba imizwa engemihle akuyona into engenzeka ngokushesha.
Ukuba nombono oqondile nesimo sengqondo akwanele. Kumele ingezwe ngokwakha amasiko nomlingani wakho lapho ubonga khona isibopho owabelana ngaso nabathandekayo bakho futhi ugubhe izihlobo zakho.
Lokhu kungathatha izindlela eziningi, njengokuhlela ubusuku bamadethi masonto onke, ukugeza ndawonye, ukuthatha usuku enyangeni ukuya e-spa, ukubukela ama-movie ndawonye, ukubamba njalo kusihlwa ngemuva komsebenzi, ukuhlela ukuvakasha okuvamile ndawonye, nokunye .
Le mikhuba emihle ingavula amehlo akho kumuntu omuhle othandekayo wakho nokuthi kungani ukhethe ukuba naye. Izokukhombisa ubuhle bokuzibophezela.
6. Khononda, kepha ungagxeki
Ukusho kanjani lokho ofisa ukukusho kunomthelela omkhulu ekutheni umlingani wakho uthola kanjani futhi asebenze kulolo lwazi. Kuphinde kuthinte nokuthi uzakwethu uzozizwa kanjani lapho ekulalela.
Ngakho-ke, esikhundleni sokugxeka ngokungaqondile, ukuthola indlela enempilo yokwethula izikhalazo zakho kumlingani wakho kubaluleke kakhulu uma kukhulunywa ngokufunda ukulungisa indelelo ebudlelwaneni.
7. Uzwelo luyisihluthulelo
Kungenzeka ukuthi isikhathi esiningi, ugxeke umlingani wakho ngaphandle kokuqonda ngisho nesizathu sokuthi kungani umlingani wakho enze abakwenzile.
Ngakho-ke, kubalulekile ukukwazi ukuzibeka ezicathulweni zomlingani wakho bese ucabanga ukuthi ngabe ukwenze kanjani nokuthi uzokwenzani. Lokho kubizwa ngozwela.
8. Thola izimbangela zemizwa yokwedelela
Imizwa edelelayo nokuziphatha akuveli nje emoyeni omncane. Ziningi izimbangela zokuziphatha ngale ndlela. Kufanele wenze ukusesha komphefumulo futhi uzibuke ngaphakathi kuwe.
Thola izizathu zokuthi kungani uzizwa futhi uziphathe ngendlela oziphatha ngayo. Ingabe kungenxa yokuthi unalesi sidingo samandla esingagcwaliseki, noma ingabe uzizwa ungahlonishwa? Ingabe uzizwa udumele? Thola izimbangela.
9. Ukulalela kubalulekile
Ukugxeka ngaphandle kokunikeza ngisho nomlingani wakho ithuba lokuthi akhulume kungaba kubi ebudlelwaneni bakho. Ingxenye enkulu yokuxhumana ngqo ibandakanya ukulalela umlingani wakho. Uma ufuna ukuzwakala, nawe kudingeka ulalele umlingani wakho.
10. Ukulinganisela okulindele kuwe
Leli elinye iphuzu elidinga ukuthi ucabangisise. Uma uzizwa sengathi udumazekile noma awuhlonishwa, ngabe yingoba kulindelwe kakhulu noma kulindelwe okungenangqondo ebudlelwaneni bakho?
Uma ufuna ukusindisa ubudlelwano bakho futhi ubazise umlingani wakho, kuzofanela ulinganisele okulindelwe kwakho kokunye kwakho okuphawulekayo nasebudlelwaneni.
Isiphetho
Uma uzizwa sengathi unemizwa yokudelela kumlingani wakho noma ungumamukeli wokuziphatha okwedelelayo, funda le ndatshana. Adonse umoya kakhulu. Kukhona isixazululo kulokhu.