-Delile
- 1. Yazi ukuthi kuyinto evamile
- 2. Khumbula ukuthi useqenjini elilodwa
- 3. Yazini ukuthi nivelaphi nobabili
- 4. Zinike isikhathi sokuxoxa ngakho konke
- 5. Thola isisombululo
- 6. Phikelela isikhathi eside
- 7. Thola usizo uma kunesidingo
Ngabe uphonsa izandla uphelelwe yithemba ngoba kubonakala sengathi wena nomlingani wakho nihlala nilwa ngezitayela ezingqubuzanayo zobuzali?
Uma kungaphathelene nokuthi uzobondla ngani, ngakho-ke kumayelana nezinqubo zabo zokulala nokuthi, kanjani, ubayala kanjani. Ubani owayengacabanga ukuthi ukuba ngumzali njengeqembu kungazelelwe kubaluleke kakhulu futhi kukhungathekise?
Ngaphambi kokuba izingane zakho zifike, umehluko wakho wokuba ngumzali wawungenandaba kangako, futhi ngandlela thile wawucabanga ukuthi nobabili niyothatha ubuzali emigudwini yenu, niwele amabhuloho lapho nifika kubo futhi niqhubekela phambili naphezulu njengakuqala.
Yebo, njengoba isisho sithi: “Siyakwamukela ebuzalwaneni!”
Kwabaningi bethu, okuwukuphela kwesipiliyoni esizibonela mathupha sezitayela ezahlukene zokukhulisa kuvela endleleni abazali bethu abasiphatha ngayo.
Ngokwemvelo singangena ezindleleni nasezindleleni ezifanayo zobuzali zokhokho bethu - noma singaphendula ngokuguqa ngamadolo kolunye uhlangothi.
Futhi-ke, kukhona ama-quirks ethu nezimpawu zobuntu eziqala ukudlala - izikhathi ezimbili, kini nobabili! Ngakho-ke akumangalisi ukuthi kungani ukungavumelani kwabazali kubonakala kakhulu.
Ukukhetha isitayela esithile sokuba ngumzali kuzoba nomthelela omkhulu ekukhuleni kwengane yakho.
Ngakho-ke, uma wena nomlingani wakho nikuthola kunzima ukuvumelana nezitayela zakho zokukhulisa izingane, ungathola lezi zikhombisi nezeluleko eziyisikhombisa zilusizo.
Kufanele futhi ufunde olunye ucwaningo lwamanje ngezitayela zobuzali ukuze uqonde kangcono lo mqondo.
1. Yazi ukuthi kuyinto evamile
Kwesinye isikhathi uma uphakathi kwezinto ezijiyile phansi ngo-3 ekuseni nengane ekhalayo phezu kwehlombe lakho kungazwakala kalula ukuthi owakho umshado onzima kakhulu.
Imicabango efana nokuthi “yini engahambi kahle ngathi, kungani singezwani nje futhi sibe ngabantu abajwayelekile” ingahle igcwale enhliziyweni nasengqondweni yakho.
Izindaba ezimnandi ukuthi Izitayela ezahlukene zokuba ngumzali ezidala izinkinga yingxenye ejwayelekile kakhulu yemishado enempilo kakhulu ngoba akunakwenzeka ukuhlanganisa abantu ababili abahluke ngokuphelele emshadweni owodwa ngaphandle okungenani kwezinhlansi ezimbalwa lapha nalaphaya.
Inkinga akukhona ukuthi kukhona yini umehluko, kepha kunalokho ukuthi usebenza kanjani ngakho nokuthi ungaba kanjani umzali ndawonye.
Kuleli qophelo, kufanele kwaziwe ukuthi uma kukhona noma yiluphi uhlobo lokuhlukumeza (ngokomzimba, ngamazwi, ngokomzwelo, ngokomoya, noma ngokwezimali) noma ukuluthwa emshadweni wakho, lokho akujwayelekile.
Udinga ukuthola usizo ngokushesha okukhulu kumeluleki oqeqeshiwe, owelaphayo, noma ku-hotline yezimo eziphuthumayo.
Yonke le ndatshana ibhekiswe kulabo bazali bobabili abavulekele ukushintsha futhi basebenze ngenkuthalo ngezitayela zabo zokuba ngabazali kanye nobunzima bobudlelwano ngemuva kwengane.
2. Khumbula ukuthi useqenjini elilodwa
Lapho abazali bengavumelani ngendlela yokukhulisa ingane, ungazithola uzizwa sengathi niyancintisana.
Ngamunye wenu kungenzeka uzama kanzima ‘ukunqoba’ impikiswano futhi afakazele ukuthi isitayela sakhe sobuzali sihamba phambili. 
Yilapho lapho kudingeka uhlehle kancane futhi ukhumbule ukuthi nobabili nisethimbeni elilodwa - awukho umncintiswano wokuwina.
Ucwaningo lukhombisile ukuthi umehluko kuzitayela zakho zokuba ngumzali ungabangelwa yizinkinga zokuziphatha ezinganeni zakho futhi ubangele nokuba bathole izimpawu ze-ADHD.
Nobabili beninqobile ngenkathi nishada, futhi manje nidinga gxila ekuqhubeleni phambili ndawonye ngezandla njengoba nithanda futhi nifundisa abancane benu ukuthi impilo imayelana nani.
3. Yazini ukuthi nivelaphi nobabili
Njengoba sekushiwo, uhlobo lokukhuliswa kwakho noshade naye luyoba nomthelela omkhulu endleleni owenza ngayo indima yakho yokuba ngumzali.
Ngakho-ke lapho izitayela zokubeletha zingafani, lapho-ke into engcono kakhulu ongayenza ukwenza ukwazana ngezizinda zomunye nomunye. Khuluma ngomlando womndeni wakho kanye nezinkolelo nezindinganiso ezisuselwa ebuntwaneni bakho.
Mhlawumbe lapho-ke kuzoba lula ukuqonda ezinye zalezi zinto ezididayo nezikhungathekisayo oshade naye abambelela kuzo ngokuqinile.
Lapho nje senizwana, kungenzeka ukuthi ningagxeki futhi nithukuthele kakhulu ngesitayela somunye, esihlukile kwesenu.
Njengoba nabelana ngemicabango nemizwa yenu, ningasizana ukubona ukuthi izinto ezazisebenza emuva ngaleso sikhathi zingahluka kanjani manje.
4. Zinike isikhathi sokuxoxa ngakho konke
Elinye lamaphutha alula ukulenza ukuphikisana phakathi kwabantwana bakho.
Abancane bayashesha ukulanda lapho umama nobaba bengavumi. Futhi lapho kunengxabano evulekile, ibanikeza imiyalezo exubile, engaholela ekudidekeni nasekuphepheni.
Izingane ezindala nazo zinekhono lokulawula isimo futhi zidlale ngabazali bazo. Kungcono kakhulu ukuthatha isikhathi sokuxoxa ngezinto lapho nobabili ningaba nobabili ndawonye.
Lapho-ke uma unezingane, ziyabona ukuthi niyasekelana nokuthi nimunye endimeni yenu njengabazali.
Buka futhi:
5. Thola isisombululo
Isixazululo yigama elingcono kunele 'ukuyekethisa' - empeleni, lisho ukuthola indlela eya phambili esebenza kuzo zombili izitayela zakho zokuba ngumzali, kanye nengane yakho.
Kuthiwani uma ungakwazi ukubekezelela ukuthi ingane yakho idla ukudla okungenamsoco okungenamsoco nsuku zonke, kepha oshade naye ethanda ukonakalisa izingane ngokudla nangokudla okulula?
Mhlawumbe ningavumelana ngosuku olukhethekile lokuphatha kanye kuphela ngesonto, mhlawumbe ngempelasonto, bese ugcine lonke isonto liphilile.
Noma mhlawumbe ubona sengathi oshade naye ufuna kakhulu izingane, uzikhethela konke okuncane.
Tyidlulise bese unquma ukuthi iziphi izindlela zokuziphatha okufanele ubhekane nazo nokuthi yiziphi ezingafanele. Ngamanye amagama, khetha izimpi zakho.
6. Phikelela isikhathi eside
Khumbula, ukuba ngumzali kuyibanga elide - hhayi ijubane elifushane. Zilungiselele futhi uzihambise isikhathi eside.
Phikelela emvuleni ngoba kuzoba nezinsuku eziningi ezinelanga futhi. Sithokozele sonke isigaba nenkathi yezimpilo zezingane zakho ngoba zidlula ngokushesha okukhulu.
Ubuntwana bungazizwa njengempilo yonke, kepha ngaphambi kokuthi wazi, bazobe bekhasa bese begijimela enkulisa, bese kuthi esikoleni esiphakeme.
Ngakho-ke khuthazeka njengoba usebenza ngezindlela zakho ezahlukene zokuba ngumzali futhi ubone umehluko wakho njengenzuzo, isitayela ngasinye sigcwalisa esinye.
Futhi, khumbulani ukuthi izingane zenu zifunda izifundo ezibalulekile kini nobabili njengoba zibona futhi zizwa izitayela zenu zobuzali ezihlukile.
7. Thola usizo uma kunesidingo
Uma uthola ngokuhamba kwesikhathi ukuthi awukwazi ukulungisa izingxabano zakho, futhi ukuba ngumzali kuqhuba umkhawulo obanzi futhi obanzi phakathi kwakho noshade naye, ngicela ungangabazi ukuthola usizo.
Kukhona usizo oluningi olutholakalayo, ngakho-ke ungalwi wedwa. Kunalokho thola umeluleki noma umelaphi ongakusiza nobabili ukuvuselela nokubuyisa uthando nenjabulo enake nayijabulela ndawonye.
Uma nobabili sisekhasini elifanayo futhi, nizokwazi ukuba ngabazali ndawonye, nithande, nifundise, futhi nondle izingane zenu ngendlela ezidinga ngayo futhi ezifanelwe ukuba ngumzali, kungakhathalekile izitayela zenu.