-Delile
- 1. Ukulahleka kobunikazi noma ukudideka
- 2. Imizwa emidala, ejwayelekile
- 3. Ukuhlukumezeka esikhathini esedlule
- 1. Ukungqubuzana namanye amalungu omndeni
- 2. Izinguquko ezimbili ezinkulu ngesikhathi esifushane
Imibhangqwana eminingi ixoxa ngokuqala ukwelashwa kwezithandani uma ziba nokuphikisana okufanayo kaninginingi, zidlula enguqukweni enkulu njengokushada noma ukuba nengane, ukuya ocansini nezindaba zokusondelana, noma zizizwa zinqamukile ngokomoya.
Kepha kunini lapho kungakhiqiza khona kakhulu ukuqala ukwelashwa ngandlela-thile esikhundleni se-noma ngaphezu kwendlela yokwelapha yombhangqwana?
Kunezindawo ezintathu eziqinisekisa ukwelashwa ngakunye esikhundleni sezimbhangqwana:
1. Ukulahleka kobunikazi noma ukudideka
Uzizwa udidekile ngokuthi kungakanani ukuyekethisa okuzizwa kukuhle kuwe, noma ukhathazekile ngokulahlekelwa izingxenye zakho ozithandayo. Sonke siyashintsha ngenxa yobudlelwano esikubo ... kepha ngabe uyashintsha ngezindlela ezizwakala zinika amandla futhi zikhula? Noma ingabe kwesinye isikhathi ukhathazekile ngokuthi kungenzeka ukuthi uzibeka endaweni ethile yabanye abantu? Abaningi bethu balwa nabantu abajabulisayo noma isidingo esinamandla sokuzizwa sithandwa (ikakhulukazi ngabalingani bethu).
Ukwelashwa komuntu ngamunye kungakusiza uhlole ukuthi uzizwa kanjani ngezinguquko ezenzekayo noma ezicatshangelwayo, nokuthi ungabeka kanjani imingcele nabanye futhi uqiniseke ukuthi izwi lakho alilahlekile. Ukuba nesikhala sokuziveza obala nangokungazethembi (ngisho nalokho okungu-2% wakho ofisa ukuthi umlingani wakho angamane akushove) ngaphandle kokudinga ukucabanga ukuthi umlingani wakho uzozizwa kanjani noma asabele kanjani (njengoba kungenzeka kubashadikazi) yingxenye ebalulekile ukuxhuma kabusha kuwe.
2. Imizwa emidala, ejwayelekile
Uyabona ukuthi okunye okuqhamuka nomlingani wakho akuyona into entsha ncamashi. Sivame ukuhlangabezana nokungqubuzana nomlingani wethu ngendlela efanayo naleyo esathola ngayo ukungqubuzana nomndeni wethu sikhula. Mhlawumbe sabona abazali bethu bememeza bodwa, futhi noma sasithembisa ukuthi lokho akusoze kwaba yithina, manje sesizithola, nathi ... simemeza. Noma mhlawumbe asizizwanga sizwa ngabazali bethu lapho besicasukile njengengane, futhi manje sizizwa ngendlela efanayo nomlingani wethu: ukungaqondi futhi sisodwa. Kungazizwa kusabisa futhi kuveze ukungavikeleki ngobudlelwano bakho ukuqaphela le mizwa emidala, ejwayelekile evuka kabusha.
Ukwelashwa komuntu ngamunye kungakusiza ukuthi ubone futhi ucubungule izindlela umlingani wakho afana ngazo nomndeni wakho odabuka kuwo, nezindlela ezihluke ngazo. Kungakusiza futhi ukuthi ufunde ukudala izinto ezihlukile ebudlelwaneni bakho — noma ngabe umlingani wakho angafana noma ahluke kanjani kunina nobaba wakho. Ukuthuthukisa ukuqonda okujulile mayelana nezimbangela zakho noma izindawo ezingavuthiwe (sonke sinazo!) Nokufunda ngezindlela zokuziphatha ngozwela lapho lezo zinkinobho zidudulwa kuyindlela ebalulekile ekwelashweni ngakunye (okuzozuzisa kubo bonke ubudlelwano bakho — ezothando , ezezomndeni, ezeplato nezokuhlangana).
3. Ukuhlukumezeka esikhathini esedlule
Ezinye izinhlobo zokuhlukumezeka zisobala kakhulu kunezinye: mhlawumbe usinde ekuhlukunyezweni ngokocansi noma wabona udlame ekhaya lakho likhula. Ezinye izinhlobo zokuhlukumezeka zinobuhlakani (yize zingaba nemiphumela enamandla efanayo): mhlawumbe "ushayiwe" noma uklabalazwe kaningi useyingane, unomzali obesebenza ngokweqile, waba nokulahlekelwa okungazelelwe noma okungaqondakali (ikakhulukazi okungaziwa), banikezwe ukunakwa okuncane ngoba amanye amalungu omndeni asenkingeni, noma anezimpande zamasiko nezizukulwane zomlando wokuhlukumezeka. Lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho kuphila ngaphakathi kwemizimba yethu, kungabuyiselwa ebuhlotsheni (ngisho nabanempilo kakhulu!), Futhi kuvame ukukhubeka ekwelashweni kwezithandani.
Kodwa-ke, bafanelwe ukuhlonishwa esimweni lapho umelaphi wakho angahambisana ngokugcwele nesipiliyoni sakho (ngaphandle kokudinga ukucabanga noma ukufaka okomlingani wakho). Ukwelashwa komuntu ngamunye kuyadingeka ukuze wakhe uhlobo lokuphepha, ukusondelana, nokwethembana nodokotela wakho ovela ekulalelisiseni okuphelele kuwe nasekubeni sengozini kwakho kwesibindi.
Kunezindawo ezimbili ezingazuza kakhulu ekwelashweni ngawodwana, noma okunye inhlanganisela yomsebenzi womuntu ngamunye nowezithandani:
1. Ukungqubuzana namanye amalungu omndeni
Usanda kuthembisa umshado, noma ushadile, noma ukhulelwe ... futhi kungazelelwe amandla okushintsha nabazali bakho, izingane zakini, abasekhweni lakho, abasekhweni lakho bashintshe ngendlela engalindelekile. Kwesinye isikhathi kuba nokusabela kokuzamazama komhlaba ngesikhathi soshintsho olukhulu futhi kulandela ukungqubuzana. Yize kubalulekile ukusebenza ekubekeni kwemingcele nokuxhumana nomlingani wakho ngalesi sikhathi (okuyinjongo enhle yomsebenzi wabashadikazi), kubalulekile futhi ukuthola ukuqonda kwakho nencazelo yakho ngokwenzekayo ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukuxazulula izinkinga nomlingani wakho.
Kungaba isilingo sokungena ngaphakathi Ake Silungise lapho umlilo uvutha. Ukwelashwa komuntu ngamunye kungakusiza ukuthi uzinze kokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho, ukuqonda, kanye nezidingo ngaphambi kokungena esenzweni. Luyini uvalo oluyimbangela yakho lapho uzizwa unesidingo sokulawula kakhulu isimo esithile? Yini engakusiza ekunciphiseni lokho kwesaba? Ungambandakanya kanjani kahle umlingani wakho ekusebenzeni nani njengeqembu, ukuze nibe nalokhu okuhlangenwe nakho ndawonye kunokuba nizizwe nilahliwe noma nixabene? Le yimibuzo emnandi ongayihlola endaweni esekelayo yokwelashwa kwakho ngawodwana, ngaphambi kokuqina ukuqina kokuxazulula izinkinga emsebenzini wabashadikazi.
2. Izinguquko ezimbili ezinkulu ngesikhathi esifushane
Sekukonke e-U.S., Isilinganiso sesikhathi lapho umbhangqwana ulinda phakathi kokushada nokuba nengane cishe iminyaka emithathu. Noma ngabe uzithola unengane ngaphambi kokuthembisana umshado noma ukushada, ukukwenza kokubili ngesikhathi esifanayo, ukulinda iminyaka emithathu ngaphambi kokuthola ingane, noma ukulinda iminyaka emi-5 — lezi zinguquko zidala ushintsho oluningi ngesikhathi esifushane. Ucwaningo luthole ukuthi ukushada kukalwa phakathi kwemicimbi yokuphila eyishumi ecindezela kakhulu. Ucwaningo lukhombisa nokuthi ukuba ngumzali omusha kuthathwa njengezikhathi ezinzima kakhulu emshadweni.
Ukuqala ukwelashwa ngandlela-thile kuyindlela enhle yokuzinika ukusekelwa nokuthuthukisa ukwazi ukuthi lezi zinguquko (noma zizoba kanjani) ziphindaphindeka ngaphakathi kuwe nakubudlelwano bakho. Kusho ukuthini kuwe ukuba yinkosikazi noma indoda? Umama noma ubaba? Yiziphi izingxenye zakho ezizokuxhasa kakhulu ngenkathi ukhululeka ngezindima zakho ezintsha? Yiziphi izingxenye zakho ozesabayo ezizongena endleleni yokuba uhlobo lomlingani noma umzali ofuna ukuba yikho? Ngenkathi ukwelashwa kwezithandani kusiza maqondana namasu wokuhlela izindlela zokuhlela umndeni wakho omusha ngendlela ebonakalayo ezwa kamnandi kini nobabili, ukwelashwa ngakunye kuyasiza maqondana nokufunda ngezidingo zakho eziguqukayo futhi okufunayo njengoba ukhula phakathi nalezi zinguquko ezinkulu.
Abanye abelaphi bezithandani basebenza nemibhangqwana lapho bobabili abantu bezinikele ekwelashweni kwabo ngabodwana. Bayazi ukuthi ukwelashwa kwezithandani kaningi akusebenzi (noma kuthatha isikhathi eside ukusebenza) ngoba oyedwa noma bobabili abantu kudingeka bagxile ekuziqondeni ngokwabo nasemlandweni wemindeni yabo ngendlela ejulile. Uma uzama ukwelashwa kwezithandani futhi isiphepho sinamandla kakhulu ukubona, ungahle uthande ukuzama ukwelashwa ngakunye kuqala (noma ngasikhathi sinye). Uma ukhetha ukuqala ukwelashwa kwezithandani nokwelashwa ngakunye ngasikhathi sinye, siyakuhalalisela ngokwenza imali enkulu kuwe nakumakhono akho obudlelwano. Uma uzama ukunquma ukuthi umsebenzi womuntu ngamunye noma owabashadikazi kuzoba yisinyathelo sakho sokuqala, khumbula ukuthi udinga ukukhomba futhi uhlele imizwa yakho nezinkolelo zakho ukuze uxhumane kakhulu nomunye umuntu futhi uzuze ngokuphelele ekwelashweni kwezithandani.