-Delile
- Yiba neqembu elifanele ohlangothini lwakho
- Hlela kabusha izinto eziza kuqala kuwe
- Yazi ukuthi ungalucela nini usizo
- Cabanga ngemithombo eyengeziwe yemali engenayo
- Funda ukujabulela izikhathi ezikhethekile
- Ungakushayi mkhuba ukubaluleka kwamaqembu okusekela
- Uthole lokhu!
Uma sekubhekwe njengenkinga kuphela ngama-30-somethings kanye nama-amane-somings, "isehlukaniso sesiliva" noma "isehlukaniso esimpunga" sekuvame kakhulu. Eminyakeni yamuva nje kuye kwaba nokwanda kwamanani ezehlukaniso emibhangqwaneni engaphezu kweminyaka engama-60:
“Umuntu oyedwa kwabathathu uzobhekana nokuba mdala engashadile,” kusho uSusan Brown, ongumqondisi-ndawonye weNational Center for Family & Marriage Research eBowling Green State University esifundweni sakhe esisha I-Grey Divorce Revolution.
Ukwehlukaniswa kule minyaka ekulesi sigaba sempilo yakho kunezinselelo ezithile ezihlukile. Noma kunjalo, abantu abaningi bangaphumelela naphezu kwezimo ngokulandela izinyathelo ezimbalwa ezilula.
Yiba neqembu elifanele ohlangothini lwakho
Thola ummeli ogxile kwesehlukaniso, kanye nomeluleki wezezimali. Iningi labesifazane, ikakhulukazi, alizazi izinzuzo esezivele zitholakale kubo, njenge-alimony nempesheni ngemuva kokushada iminyaka engaphezu kwengu-20.
Lapho uthatha isinqumo sokufaka idivosi noma uqala ukwehlukana kwesivivinyo, qiniseka ukuthi ubhala imicimbi ebalulekile. Sebenzisa le micimbi ukusiza ukuqondisa ingxoxo yakho nommeli wakho. Bhala amadethi abalulekile njengalapho wena noma owakwakho niphumile noma nenza imizamo yokubuyisana. Izinsuku lapho oshade naye athathe khona imali ku-akhawunti yakho ehlanganyelwe noma ekhombisa indlela ecasulayo, konke lokhu kubalulekile futhi.
Ekugcineni, yenza amakhophi emibhalo ebalulekile njengolwazi lwasebhange, amadokhumende okuthatha umhlalaphansi, amatayitela nezihloko, amaphepha omshwalense, isitifiketi somshado, izitifiketi zokuzalwa zezingane zakho namakhadi ezokuphepha komphakathi. Le mibhalo izokusiza ukuthi uvikele izinzuzo onelungelo lokuzithola ngemuva kwesehlukaniso.
Hlela kabusha izinto eziza kuqala kuwe
Ukushada ungashadi kuzodinga ukuthi ugxile ezintweni ezibalulekile kuwe. Lesi yisikhathi sokuthi ucabange ukuthi ungubani nokuthi ufunani, ngaphandle kwalokhu wonke umuntu abelindele kuwe iminyaka eminingi kangaka.
"Abesifazane abahlakaniphile basebenzisa amandla abo ngemuva kwesehlukaniso ekuhloleni impilo yabo, izinhloso zabo, amaphutha abo nokuthi bangafunda kanjani kokwedlule ... Bachaza kabusha izinto eziza kuqala kubo futhi bathole ukuthi kunani kubo," kusho u-Allison Patton weLemonade Divorce.
Yazi ukuthi ungalucela nini usizo
Kungaba ukuziqhenya, noma mhlawumbe nje isidingo esikhulu sokuzibonakalisa wena nakwabanye ukuthi ungakwenza wedwa, kepha abesifazane abaningi abadivosile bathola ukuthi ukucela usizo kungenye yezinto ezinzima kakhulu ukuzenza: “Ukusinda esahlukanisweni kunzima , kodwa, awudingi ukukwenza wedwa. Ukugcina ukuxhumana nabantu nokwenza abangane abasha kubaluleke kakhulu kwabesifazane abahlukanisa ngemuva kweminyaka engama-60, ”kusho uMargaret Manning Amashumi ayisithupha.com.
Uma ungatholi ukwesekwa okuvela kubangani nomndeni, thola umsebenzi wokuzilibazisa omusha okuvumela ukuthi uhlangane nabantu abasha. Uma ungumuntu osebenzayo, zama ukukhuphuka kwamadwala, noma omunye umsebenzi omangazayo. Uma uzama okuthile ongakujwayele, uzofunda ikhono elisha, ukhulise ukuzethemba. Lokhu kungenza ukuthi inqubo yesehlukaniso ibe lula ukuphatha kancane.
Buka futhi: Izizathu Eziningi Ezivamile Zesehlukaniso
Cabanga ngemithombo eyengeziwe yemali engenayo
Akuyona imfihlo ukuthi isehlukaniso sizokucindezela emalini yakho. Ngaphezu kokuphila ngesabelomali esiqinile, ungavumi ukuthi wenze okuthile ukukhiqiza eminye imifudlana yemali engenayo. Lokhu kungafaka ukuqala ibhizinisi lakho, ukuthengisa okuqoqiwe okudala, noma ukukhetha umsebenzi ohlangothini ngesikhathi sakho sokuphumula.
Funda ukujabulela izikhathi ezikhethekile
Ubhekene nesinye sezigameko ezingokomzwelo futhi kwesinye isikhathi ezihlukumezayo empilweni yakho. Thola izinto ezikuthokozisayo uzifake empilweni yakho. “Ngangigxile ekuthambekeleni kakhulu ekunambithekeni kwezinto ezingangijabulisa — ukulindela ukuvakashelwa umngane noma ukuya endaweni yobuciko, noma ukuthenga okuthile ku-inthanethi bese ngilinda isikhathi sokuvula,” kusho uPeg Streep, ngePsychology Namuhla.
Ungakushayi mkhuba ukubaluleka kwamaqembu okusekela
Enye yezinsizakusebenza ezibaluleke kakhulu ongaba nazo ngenkathi uqeda isehlukaniso yiqembu lapho ungabelana khona ngokukhathazeka kwakho, ukwesaba namathemba akho. Ukukhathazeka komuntu ongashadile ohlukanisile eminyakeni engama-60 kuhluke kakhulu kunezikhalazo zabalingani babo abasebasha. Kunesikhathi esincane sokongela umhlalaphansi futhi imakethe yomsebenzi ingaba nzima kakhulu ukungena kuyo, ikakhulukazi uma uchithe iminyaka engama-40 edlule unakekela ikhaya, izimali zomndeni futhi ngokuzumayo uzithola uzingela umsebenzi. Funa iqembu lokusekelwa eliqondene nawe nokuthi yini olwa nayo, ukuze uthole inzuzo enkulu.
Uthole lokhu!
Umqondo wokuqala phansi ngalesi sikhathi empilweni yakho ungabonakala uthusa. Khumbula, uzokuphumelela, kepha lokho akusho ukuthi kuzoba lula njengoba ukuthola konke. Yazi lokho, yenza ukuthula nalokho, bese usebenzisa lawa macebiso ukubhekana nesimo njengoba nihlukanisa.
UNanda Davis
UNanda Davis ungumnikazi weDavis Law Practice futhi amaklayenti akhe ayakwazisa ukuzwelana nokuzimisela kwakhe kuyo yonke le nqubo. Ubasiza ukuthi benze isinqumo esihle kakhulu kubo nasemndenini wabo futhi uhlala ezimisele ukuya ezivivinyweni ukuze azuze umphumela omuhle kumakhasimende akhe. Ekuqaleni wayevela enyakatho neVirginia, uNanda waphothula iziqu zemagna cum laude eGeorge Mason University School of Law ngo-2012 waphothula e-University of Virginia ngo-2008. UNanda uyiPhini likaMongameli weSalem Roanoke County Bar Association, kanye noMongameli wesahluko saseRoanoke we-Virginia Women Attorney's Association.