-Delile
Sonke siyazi ukuthi ama-narcissists ngeke abe ngabantu abalula kakhulu ukushada nokuthi futhi mhlawumbe akusona isinqumo esihle sokubashada kepha sibashade senza njalo.
Vele, ukube besazi ngaleso sikhathi ukuthi yini esizoyithola ngokuzayo, besizokwazi ukubona ukuthi ingoduso yethu ebukekayo, ebukekayo, enomusa, neqaphelayo igqoke ingubo yokufihla ukuthi abantu abanokuqonda kakhulu bangahluleka ukukubona .
Kungakabiphi, i-knight yethu yezembatho ezikhanyayo noma inkosazana yethu enhle iqala ukukhombisa imibala yazo yangempela. Nguwe kuphela ongeke wazi ukuthi kwenzakalani noma kubuhlungu kangakanani imibala yawo yangempela, uze ululame futhi uvalelwe ezingalweni zabo, futhi bakumunce yonke impilo kuwe.
Lokho kungumshado wakho narcissist wakho.
Abanye abantu, esikhundleni sokubuza umbuzo othi 'bahlala kanjani abashadile?', Bangahle babuze ukuthi umuntu wasemshadweni washada kanjani emhlabeni?
Ngakho-ke sizimisele ukuphendula yomibili le mibuzo. Qhubeka ufunda ukuthola ukuthi kanjani.
1. Intelezi
Intelezi yokuqala yomqaphi iyisizathu esenza ukuthi umlingisi wezinsizwa ashade kwasekuqaleni, futhi kungenzeka futhi kube yimpendulo yokuthi abakwa-narcissist bahlala kanjani beshadile.
Kungabukeka kungajwayelekile ukuthi umuntu obonisa izici ezimbi kangaka angaba nezinga lobuhle umlingisi we-narcissist angalikhombisa.
Intelezi ekhonjiswa ngumqaphi ekuqaleni kobudlelwano iyedlula kude intelezi evela kunoma yimuphi omunye umuntu ojwayelekile, futhi yilenhlanhla eheha izinhliziyo zomuntu abashade naye.
Kepha inkinga lapha ukuthi le 'ntelezi' ayiyona yangempela, umuntu osebenzisa izinto zobudlabha uyazi nje ukuthi yini okudingeka bayenze ukudlula imicabango yakho yothando futhi 'ube' umuntu ophelele kuwe.
Le ntelezi kungenzeka ukuthi iyisizathu esenza abakwa-narcissist bakwazi ukushada futhi futhi kube yingxenye yempendulo yombuzo othi 'bahlala kanjani abashadile?'.
2. Umjikelezo wokuhlukunyezwa
Kungokuhlangenwe nakho kwentelezi (okuxoxwe ngayo ngenhla) kungadala ukuthi oshade naye we-narcissist aqhubeke abe nethemba lokuthi ngelinye ilanga bangavuselela lokho ababekade benakho. Mhlawumbe ukulinganisa ukuziphatha okuhlukumezayo komlingani wabo we-narcissist kungenxa yengcindezi, noma mhlawumbe enye inkinga enengqondo.
Okungenzeka ukuthi abakuqapheli ukuthi lokhu kuziphatha abakubona kwabalingani babo ngeke kushintshe ngoba yilokhu abayikho.
Amathuba ukuthi owakwakhe we-narcissist ngeke aphinde abone uhlangothi lomusa noluthandekayo lwabashade nabo. Ngaphandle kokuthi umbhali wezinkolelo ukholelwa ukuthi usezolahlekelwa ngumlingani wakhe, indlela abaziphatha ngayo ihlala ingashintshiwe.
Uma owe-narcissist ekholelwa ukuthi bangalahlekelwa ngabalingani babo bangazama ukusebenzisa ikhubalo labo ukuphinda babambe inhliziyo yowakwabo futhi.
Kepha, okwesibili lapho intelezi ivulwa khona mhlawumbe ngeke ibe namandla, noma iphumelele njengakuqala. Kodwa-ke, kuzokwanela, ngenxa yemiphumela yomjikelezo wokuhlukumeza.
Lesi simo sonke siyisibonelo somjikelezo wokuhlukunyezwa lapho umuntu ezwa imizwa enamandla ngomhlukumezi wakhe, abeke izaba ngokuziphatha kwakhe futhi angakwazi ukugqashula ekuziphatheni kwakhe okulimazayo nokuhlukumezayo.
3. Ukungabi namandla
Kuyo yonke iminyaka yokushada nomuntu othanda izihibe, kube nethuba elanele lokuthi lowo obhalisile ahlukane nokuzethemba komlingani wakhe, abahlukanise futhi abenze bazizwe bengafaneleki ngokungathi ngeke bathole umuntu ongcono kunomlingani wabo ongumlingisi.
Lokhu kususwa njalo kuzokwehlisa ukuzethemba komlingani we-narcissist, ukuzethemba nokuzethemba. Kungabenza bangabaze amandla abo okwenza izinqumo futhi bazibuze ngokungadingekile ngenxa yokukhanyisa igesi.
Yilokhu kungabi namandla nokukhanyisa uphethiloli okuchaza nokuthi umuntu osebenzisa izihlukumezi uhlala eshadile kanjani.
AbakwaNarcissists bakulungele ukuphatha nokunciphisa amandla abashade nabo.
4.Ukulawula namandla
Manje njengoba oshade nabo engasenawo amandla, owabhalisayo usengagomela ekulawuleni kubo ngokuthanda kwabo.
Lesi ngesinye futhi isibonelo sendlela umbulali ahlala ngayo eshadile.
Kuthatha umzamo omkhulu ukuthi umlingani womuntu osebenzisa le narcissist akhulule imithelela engokomzwelo, engokwengqondo, futhi ngezikhathi ezithile ngokomzimba ngokushada nomuntu othanda ukubulala abantu.
Kwezinye izimo, umzamo mkhulu kakhulu kwabashadile isimo esibuthakathaka ngakho-ke bahlala beshadile. Kuze kube umlingani womuntu othanda ukuthola amandla okuhamba, umbulali uhlala eshadile (isikhathi esingakanani, kuya ngentando yesisulu sakhe).
Ukushada nomuntu othanda ukuba yisihlukumezi kungaba nzima kepha ukuqonda ukuthi umbulali uhlala kanjani eshadile kulula kakhulu.
I-narcissist ayisoze yahlala ishadile ngenkulumo yothando, uzwela, noma inhlonipho. Esikhundleni salokho, kuzoba ngokukhohlisa, ukulawula, nokuphoqa.
Konke lokhu okungenhla kungabonakala njengombono onzima ngokuziphatha kwe-narcissistic. Kepha, ezifundweni, bambalwa kakhulu abakwa-narcissists abakwazile ukukhombisa ukuzwelana, futhi uma sebekwenzile, kukhawulelwe ngokweqile, okuchaza ukuthi kungani le ndaba imfiliba kangaka.
Akunakwenzeka ukuthi umbhali wezidakamizwa uzoshintsha - noma ngabe bathembisa kangakanani ukuthi bazoshintsha.