-Delile
- Kuyini ukusondelana ebudlelwaneni?
- Yiziphi izinhlobo ezahlukahlukene zokusondelana?
- Ukusondelana ngokomzwelo: Kuqinisa isibopho phakathi kombhangqwana
- Ukusondelana ngokomzimba: Isidingo esiyisisekelo sokwenza ubudlelwano buchume
- Ukusondelana kwengqondo: Inkululeko yokuveza imibono yokuxhumana okungcono
- Ngabe amazinga aqine kangakanani okusondelana akhulisa ubudlelwano?
- 5 Ababulali abasondelene kakhulu ebudlelwaneni
- 1. Umlingani uxhuma nelangabi elidala
- 2. Umlingani ogcina ukufutheka
- 3. Ukungakhulumi ngezifiso zocansi
- 4. Ukungabi nakho ukuzijabulisa
- 5. Ubugovu
- Ngabe ubudlelwane bungaphila ngaphandle kokusondelana?
- Ungakunqoba kanjani ukwesaba ukusondelana?
- Ungakwakha kanjani ukusondelana ebudlelwaneni bakho?
- Ukudla okudlela endlini
Incazelo yangempela yokusondelana ayikwazi ukuchazwa ngamagama ngokufanele. Isimo sengqondo lapho bobabili abalingani bezizwa besondelene kakhulu, benamathele komunye nomunye, futhi babelana ngomuzwa wokuthi bangabodwa.
Ukusondelana kumayelana nokuzizwa siphila, okuqukethwe, ukujabula, futhi ngasikhathi sinye, ukuba sengozini. Kuyisimo sobudlelwano esingatholakali ngokushesha. Kuthatha isikhathi ukukhula kancane kancane, lapho abantu ababili besondelana kakhulu.
Imiphefumulo yethu ilangazelela ukusondelana
—U-Erwin Raphael McManus
Kuyini ukusondelana ebudlelwaneni?
Lapho sicabanga ngokusondelana, ngokuzenzakalela, sithambekele ekulinganiseni ngocansi noma ukusondelana ngokomzimba.
Yize ukusondelana kuhlanganisa konke lokhu, empeleni kungaphezulu kakhulu kokuba nobulili. Inenjongo enkulu lapho kudingeka khona ukuqonda kanye nokuncika komunye nomunye.
Yize singenakukushaya indiva ukubaluleka kokusondelana ngokomzimba ebudlelwaneni obunempilo, ukusondelana ngokomzwelo kuyisidingo sokwenza noma yiluphi uhlobo lokusondelana ngokomzimba nomlingani wakho.
Yiziphi izinhlobo ezahlukahlukene zokusondelana?
Kuyini ukusondelana ebudlelwaneni noma uma usebudlelwaneni? Ubuwazi ukuthi kunezigaba ezahlukahlukene zokusondelana phakathi kwabalingani?
Okubandakanya ukubumbana ngokomzwelo, ngokocansi, ngokwengqondo, noma ngengqondo, ukusondelana ebudlelwaneni kunesici esibanzi. Uma kukhulunywa ngokuba nobudlelwano obuphumelelayo bomshado noma bokuhlangana, ngokomzwelo, ngokomzimba, ngokomoya nangokwengqondo, ukusondelana kufanele kusebenze ngokuthula.
Ukusondelana ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni kuyisisekelo sokwakha leyo ngqondo yokuxhuma ukuxhumeka ngokomzimba, okungumcabango wethu wokuqala ngokusondelana nothile.
Kuyisimo senjabulo lapho izithandani zixhuma zodwa ezingeni lomzwelo elingenazinkinga zomhlaba.
Nizizwa nisondelene ngokwabelana ngezifiso zenu, imizwa, amaphupho, izifiso, izimfihlo, futhi ngaleyo ndlela niba sengozini komunye nomunye. Ngakho-ke, i-chemistry yakha phakathi kwalombhangqwana.
Ukusondelana ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni kukhulisa isibopho.
Ukuze usondelane ngokomzwelo, awudingi ukuchitha amahora ndawonye. Ukuchitha nje imizuzu eyi-10 yesikhathi sekhwalithi ndawonye noma ukusizana ngemisebenzi yasekhaya nakho kungakhulisa ukusondelana okungokomzwelo.
Kufaka ukwethembana, ukuqonda, ukwamukelwa, futhi kukwenza uzizwe uxhumeke kakhulu komunye nomunye.
Ukusuka othandweni, othandweni, kwezothando, kocansi kuye ngokomoya, ukusondelana ngokomzwelo kuhlanganisa yonke imizwa ebaluleke kakhulu ekugcineni umshado wakho noma ubudlelwane bakho buqinile. Lapho uthando nezinkanuko luphela ngokukhula kweminyaka, ukusondelana okungokomzwelo kuphela okusalayo futhi okuxhumanisa lo mbhangqwana ezingeni elijulile.
Kuyindlela enamandla futhi ejwayelekile yokukhombisa uthando okusondeza eduze komlingani wakho. Akukona nje kuphela ngezocansi noma ukuzenzela; ukusondelana ngokomzimba kungaphezu kokwenza ucansi kuphela.
Lokhu kukwenza ukholelwe ukuthi ubaluleke futhi unendawo ekhethekile enhliziyweni yakho kumlingani wakho.
Ukuhambisa kwakho, ukuzinikela, ukuba wedwa, ukuphelelwa yithemba komunye nomunye-konke kubonakala lapho nisondelana ngokomzimba nomlingani wakho.
Ngaphandle kokuthakwa kwezocansi, ukugcotshwa emhlane okulula, ukubhucungwa umzimba ngothando, ukubambana ngezandla, ukwangana okuthokomele, noma ukwanga okumnandi nakho kubhekwa njengezindlela zokusondelana ngokomzimba.
Kusukela ekunqobeni ukungavikeleki nokunciphisa umehluko ukuze uzwe ukufudumala kothando, ukusondelana ngokomzimba kunendima enkulu ebudlelwaneni.
Ngaphandle kokusondelana ngokomzimba ebudlelwaneni, umshado noma ubudlelwano abunakuchuma futhi buqhubeke kahle.
Ividiyo engezansi ikhuluma ngenqubo kaJohn Kironde yesikhumba ekuzindleni kwesikhumba ukuthuthukisa ukusondelana ngokomzimba ebudlelwaneni. Izame:
Ukusondelana kobuhlakani ebudlelwaneni kunivumela nobabili ukuthi nibelane ngemicabango nangemibono yenu ngokukhululeka, noma ngabe imibono yenu yehlukene kanjani.
Lapho abantu ababili bexhuma ngokwengqondo, bazizwa bephephile futhi bekhululekile ukwabelana ngemibono yabo kunoma yiluphi udaba, ngaphandle kokwesaba imiphumela. Kusukela kwezepolitiki, ukukhulisa izingane, nezindleko zomndeni kuya ezindabeni zamazwe omhlaba, bangaveza imibono yabo ngokukhululeka baphikisane.
Konke kumayelana nokuzizwa uphephile ngenkathi uveza imibono ngaphandle kokwesaba ukwahlulelwa ngumlingani wakho, futhi kwenza ukuxhumana kuphumelele futhi kuqinise ubuhlobo bakho bomshado noma bothando.
Ngabe amazinga aqine kangakanani okusondelana akhulisa ubudlelwano?
Kuyini ukusondelana ebudlelwaneni, kungaba ngemibhangqwana eshadile, eyomndeni, neyabangane? Ukusondelana nomunye umuntu kukunikani wena nobudlelwano? Impendulo esobala ubuhlobo obuqinile.
Kubaluleke kangakanani ukusondelana ebudlelwaneni ngesinye sezihloko okuxoxwa ngazo kakhulu.
Njengoba sivunyelwe ukuzinikela ngenhliziyo ephelele komunye umuntu, kuvula iwindi lokuhloniphana, uthando nokuqondana. Ngalokhu, ukusondelana kuhlanganisa abantu ndawonye ekuqondeni okujulile.
Uma sikwazi ukunakekela lokhu, kungaqinisekisa isibopho esihlala isikhathi eside phakathi kwakho nabantu obakhathalelayo. Lesi yisona sizathu esenza ukusondelana kungenye yezinto eziyigugu kakhulu emshadweni nakubudlelwano.
5 Ababulali abasondelene kakhulu ebudlelwaneni
Kungaba nezici ezahlukahlukene ezingabulala ukusondelana nokwenza ubudlelwano bube muncu. Ezinye zezikhalazo ezejwayelekile nezinkinga zomshado zingaphansi:
1. Umlingani uxhuma nelangabi elidala
Ubudlelwano phakathi kwezithandani buzofa nomunye wabalingani abenza ucansi. Lokhu akubulali nje kuphela ukusondelana kodwa futhi kwenza nobudlelwano bube muncu.
2. Umlingani ogcina ukufutheka
Kungahle kube nezinkinga lapho oshade naye eba muncu. Kungaba ngenxa yesimo esithile noma ingxoxo engazange ixoxwe nokwaholela ekutheni kunqwabelane.
3. Ukungakhulumi ngezifiso zocansi
Uma imibhangqwana ingakhulumi ngezifiso zayo zocansi, ngeke kube khona ukusondelana ngokocansi phakathi kwabo. Kubalulekile ukuphumela obala ngezidingo zakho nezifiso zakho ukuze umshado uphumelele.
4. Ukungabi nakho ukuzijabulisa
I-spark encane ihlale idingeka ukugcina ubuhlobo buthakazelisa. Lapho kungekho ukuzijabulisa noma into emangazayo esele ebudlelwaneni, ubudlelwano buba yisicefe futhi ukusondelana kuyafa.
5. Ubugovu
Ubugovu bungaba futhi nethuba lokuthi ubuhlobo bufe, futhi ngalokho, ukusondelana. Uma omunye umlingani eshiya ubudlelwano futhi eyeka ukucabanga njengeqembu, isimo sokuqala kithina siyafa futhi bobabili abalingani bayeka ukuzizwa besondelene.
Ngabe ubudlelwane bungaphila ngaphandle kokusondelana?
Ukusondelana ebudlelwaneni kuyinsika ebalulekile yobudlelwano obunempilo, kungaba ubuhlobo bomshado noma bothando. Ukusondelana kusiza bobabili abalingani ukubona ukuthi babaluleke kangakanani komunye nomunye.
Akunandaba ukuthi sinamaphutha noma ukulinganiselwa okungakanani, sihlala sifisa ukwamukelwa nokuthandwa ngabalingani bethu. Ukubeka eceleni konke ukwehluka kwakho maqondana nesibopho esinempilo, ukuba nobudlelwano obuseduze, kokubili ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo, kuphoqelekile.
Lapho sisebudlelwaneni, ukusondelana kuyinto esiyilangazelelayo, ngakho-ke ngaphandle kwalo muzwa othokozisayo, ukuqinisa ubudlelwane besikhathi eside akunakwenzeka. Lapho usukwazi ukubaluleka kwezinhlobo ezahlukahlukene zokusondelana, kungcono uqale ukusebenzela ukuthola ukuthi yini ehamba phambili ebudlelwaneni bakho ngoba izidingo zemibhangqwana ehlukene zingahluka.
Ungakunqoba kanjani ukwesaba ukusondelana?
Ukusondelana kungumuzwa omuhle, isithako esihle uma sifuna ukuqiniseka ukuthi sinobudlelwano obuhlala isikhathi eside. Kepha kukuhle njengoba kungabonakala - ukusondelana nakho kuyethusa kwabanye abantu.
Iqiniso liwukuthi, akubona bonke abantu abazimisele ukusondelana futhi basalondolozwe okwenzeka esikhathini esedlule. Kubo, ukusondelana ngisho nabalingani babo kuzosho ukuthi bazokwehlisa ukuqapha kwabo futhi bangalimala kalula futhi basetshenziswe futhi.
Njengezinkinga zokwethembana, ukusondelana ebudlelwaneni kunzima kwabanye abantu. Kungakho kubo, kunzima ukuthola i-trust yabo kuphela, kepha nokuzimisela kwabo ukusondelana.
Uma wazi ukuthi unokwesaba ukusondelana nobudlelwano, cabanga ukwenza okulandelayo:
- Khuluma nowakwakho ngesimo sakho nokuthi yini ngempela ebangela ukusabela okunjalo lapho bezama ukusondelana nawe. Musa ukuzigcina ebumnyameni.
- Ungazifaki ngaphansi kwengcindezi. Awuphelele futhi kulungile. Vumela isikhathi esithile futhi uthathe isikhathi sokuphulukisa.
- Qonda imbangela. Ngena kokudlule kwakho futhi wazi ukuthi yini engakusebenzeli. Ingabe ukuhlukumezeka okwedlule noma ukwesaba okungaziwa. Finyelela kumnyombo wokuxazulula inkinga.
- Funa usizo kochwepheshe mayelana nesimo sakho hleze sibe sibi kakhulu. Ochwepheshe bezempilo yengqondo bangakusiza ukuxilonga inkinga futhi banikeze isisombululo esifanele noma ukwelashwa.
Ukufunda Okuhlobene: Ukwesaba Ukusondelana: Konke Okudingeka Ukwazi
Ungakwakha kanjani ukusondelana ebudlelwaneni bakho?
Uma okwamanje usebudlelwaneni ngaphandle kokusondelana, uzokwazi ukuthi yini ukusondelana kweqiniso ebudlelwaneni futhi uzokwazi ukuthi kwesinye isikhathi kungaba yinselele. Kungaba nezici ezingaba nomthelela ekuntulekeni kokusondelana.
Ngakho-ke, uqinisekisa kanjani ukuthi wena nomlingani wakho nizoqhubeka ninobudlelwano obuqinile bokusondelana?
- Yithathe kancane, ikakhulukazi uma usanda kuqala kobudlelwano. Ukusondelana akukaze kuphuthume, ngakho-ke vumelanani ngokwakha kancane.
- Yakha ukusondelana nezinto ezilula kuqala njengokuzama ukuqala izingxoxo ngempilo yakho namaphupho akho njalonjalo. Futhi, bekezela ungasheshi.
- Hlonipha oshade naye noma umlingani wakho. Kunezikhathi lapho oshade naye engazizwa ethanda ukusondelana noma ungazizwa sengathi uyakhukhuleka - hlonipha isizathu bese usebenza kuso.
- Okokugcina, qondelani imizwa yomunye nomunye. Uma uvumelana nemizwa yakho, amathuba okuba khona, kuzoba lula ngawe ukuthi uzwele emizweni yomlingani wakho. Inqubo yokunikeza nokuthatha.
Ukudla okudlela endlini
Ngamunye wethu angaba nokuhluka okuncane emibonweni ngokuthi kuyini ukusondelana.
Kepha, noma singaba nemibono eyehlukile, okubalulekile ukuthi siyakwazi ukuqonda ukubaluleka kwayo hhayi thina kuphela kepha nabantu esibathandayo futhi inqobo nje uma sikwazi ukwenza inhlonipho nothando olungenabugovu, ukusondelana kweqiniso njalo lapho.