Izitayela Zokunamathisela Zibuthinta Kanjani Ubudlelwano

Umlobi: Randy Alexander
Usuku Lokudalwa: 23 Epreli 2021
Ukuvuselela Usuku: 1 Ujulayi 2024
Anonim
Izitayela Zokunamathisela Zibuthinta Kanjani Ubudlelwano - Incwadi Ehlukene Yengqondo
Izitayela Zokunamathisela Zibuthinta Kanjani Ubudlelwano - Incwadi Ehlukene Yengqondo

-Delile

Sonke siyawazi umdlalo wekati negundane ebudlelwaneni. Kungukuguquguquka okujwayelekile kwabasukelayo nabajahile. IHollywood nesiko elidumile lenza umsebenzi omuhle wokuveza lo mdanso esigabeni sokuqomisana kwezothando olusafufusa.

Esikhundleni sokujaha kuqhubeke unomphela, kepha, sihlala sibona isiphetho esijabulisayo, igundane lincipha ekwamukelweni kwekati futhi umdlalo uphelele.

Kuthiwani lapho umdlalo wokujaha uqhubeka isikhathi eside ngemuva kokuphela kwesifiso sokuqala?

Siwulawula kanjani umdanso ongaphambili nowedlule odlulela esigabeni sangemva komshado futhi ungene emgqonyeni wesigqi nobudlelwano bansuku zonke?

Emhlabeni wezengqondo, ikati negundane lokuziphatha noma lokugwema omunye umuntu kubangelwa amaphethini wethu wokunamathisela okuqala noma izitayela zokunamathiselwa.

Lezi zitayela noma izindlela zokuziphatha zakhula ebudlelwaneni bethu nomama bethu (noma abanakekeli bokuqala) lapho siseyizinsana futhi sesinabele yonke indlela singena emakamelweni okulala ezimpilo zethu zabantu abadala.


Umthelela wezitayela zokunamathiselwe

Izitayela zokunamathisela kubantu abadala zinethonya nemithelela yokuthi bakuthola kanjani ukuphila futhi bahlobana kanjani nabanye.

Abanye bethu bazoba nenhlanhla yokuthola isitayela sokunamathisela esiphephile, okuzoholela ebudlelwaneni obuhle nabanye.

Ngenkathi abanye bengakhula izitayela zokunamathisela ezikhathazayo noma ezigwema, okuholele ezinkingeni ngendlela ezihlobana ngayo nabalingani babo noma abashade nabo nokuthi bahlangabezana kanjani nomhlaba.

Kepha akupheleli lapho.

Umthelela kumbono womuntu (noma ngabe uvikelekile noma awuvikelekile) uzokhula njengoba uhamba empilweni ngokuqhubeka uzifakazela ukuthi umhlaba uvikelekile noma awuphephile (kuya ngesitayela sakho sokunamathiselwe).

Labo abacabanga ukuthi umhlaba uvikelekile bachuma ngazo zonke izindlela.

Labo abanesitayela sokunamathisela esingavikelekile baba abangazethembi, abangathembi, abangenathemba futhi bakuthola kunzima ukukholelwa ukuthi bangakwazi ukufeza izinhloso zabo ngoba abakaze bakuthole esikhathini esidlule ngokungagunci okungakaze kwenzeke kubo ngaphambili.


Lo mjikelezo wokuhlangenwe nakho okuhlanganisayo uyaqhubeka kuze kube yilapho umuntu onesinamathiseli esingavikelekile eqaphela futhi enza ngokuzimisela imizamo yokweqa izinhlelo zabo zobuntwana.

Abantu abaningi babhekana nezingxabano, isizungu, nezinselelo ngendlela ezihlobana ngayo nabanye nokuzwa impilo. futhi njengoba sonke sithokoza ngokuxhuma, lokho kuyisimo esidabukisayo sezindaba.

Noma kunjalo, likhona ithemba.

Ukuqonda ukuthi yiziphi izitayela zokunamathisela nokuthi yiziphi izitayela zakho zokunamathisela ebuhlotsheni kungasisiza ukuba siqonde amandla ethu, ubuthakathaka, nobuthakathaka ebuhlotsheni bethu.

Lokhu kusinika ithuba lokuziqonda thina noma oshade naye futhi sithole izindlela zokuphulukisa noma ukusebenza ngokunamathiselwe okungavikelekile.

Ngabe noma ngabe ukhule uzizwa ungavikelekile emhlabeni, ungahle ubuyisane futhi uselule lesi simo, futhi uthole indlela yokubhala uhlelo lwakho olungavikelekile futhi uthuthukise okunamathiselwe okuphephile.


Yini umbono wokunamathiselwe

Umsebenzi ohlanganyelwe kaJohn Bowlby noMary Ainsworth ku, The The Attachment Theory, udonsela emiqondweni evela ethology, cybernetics, processing information, psychology development and psychoanalysts.

Umbono uchaza okunamathiselwe njenge “ukuxhumana okungokwengqondo okuhlala njalo phakathi kwabantu, umgomo wayo obaluleke kakhulu kube ngukukhulisa ubudlelwano phakathi kwengane kanye nomnakekeli oyedwa oyinhloko wentuthuko ejwayelekile yezenhlalo nezomphefumulo.

Umbono wokunamathisela usebenza njengesisekelo esiqinile sokuqonda ukuthuthukiswa kwezindlela zokubhekana nezinkinga ezingasebenzi kanye nezinto ezifihliwe zezinselelo zomuntu ngokomzwelo.

Izinhlobo zezitayela zokunamathisela

Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo nabacwaningi bachaze amaqembu amabili amakhulu ezitayela zokunamathisela.

  • Okunamathiselwe okuphephile
  • Okunamathiselwe okungavikelekile

Okunamathiselwe okuphephile

Abantu abadala abanezinamathiselo eziphephile babenomama abahlangabezana nezidingo zabo ezingokomzwelo lapho besezinsana. Omama babo:

  • Abalande njalo lapho bekhala.
  • Babondla lapho belambile.
  • Amamatheke naye.
  • Bayeke bahlole umhlaba, bazi ukuthi umama wabo ubenomhlane.

Abantu abadala abanamathiselwe ngokuphephile ngeke bahlanganyele kunoma yiluphi uhlobo olwandisiwe lomdlalo wekati negundane lobudlelwano.

Zizoheha ngokwemvelo abanye abantu abadala abanamathele ngokuphepha.

Umlingani ngamunye uzoba nokuzimela ukuphuma ayohlola umhlaba azi ukuthi omunye uyabajabulisa, ulangazelela ukubuza ngokuzijabulisa kwabo, futhi bajabule ngokusondelana ngokomzimba, ngokocansi nangokomzwelo.

Ukuze uqhubeke uqonde isitayela sokunamathisela okuphephile, bukela:

Okunamathiselwe okungavikelekile

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, abantu abadala abanokunamathiselwe okungavikelekile (a.k.a ukukhathazeka) babenomama ababengakwazi ukuhlangabezana nezidingo zabo ezingokomzwelo lapho besezinsana. Labo mama kwakungu:

  • Akuhambisani
  • Ayiphenduli
  • Ukwala

Izitayela zokunamathisela ezingavikelekile ziphinde zahlukaniswa zaba izinhlobo ezintathu.

  • Ukukhathazeka-Okumangazayo

Izingane ezikhathazeka ngokumangazayo lapho zihlukaniswa nonina futhi ngasikhathi sinye ziyamsunduza lapho ebuya.

Abantu abanjalo bavame ukubheka kumlingani wabo ukuze bathole ukuvunywa, ukusekelwa kanye nokuphendula. Abantu abanalesi sitayela sokunamathisela bayabazisa ubudlelwano babo, kepha bahlala emaphethelweni futhi bacindezelekile maqondana nezinga lokubandakanyeka komlingani wabo.

  • Ukukhathazeka-Kugwema

Izingane ezinikeza isithombe sokuthi zizimele ngaphandle kwezimpawu zokukhathazeka ngokwehlukana lapho umama engaphenduli.

Abantu abanesitayela sokunamathisela esivikela ukukhathazeka banokuzethemba okuphezulu kanye nombono omuhle wabo.

Abantu abanjalo bebonke bayamukela ukuthi ubudlelwano abubaqedi futhi bangathanda ukungathembeli kwabanye, abanye bathembele kubo, noma bafune usizo nokugunyazwa emibuthanweni yomphakathi.

Ukukhula ngalesi sitayela sokunamathisela kugwema ukusondelana okunothando futhi kuzocindezela imizwa yabo lapho bebhekene nesimo esingokomzwelo.

  • Ukungahleleki

Izingane ezihlukunyezwa kanzima noma eziphathwa kabi ngunina. Lezi zingane azinampendulo yokubhekana nokuziphatha kukamama. Bacindezelekile, abanakho ukubheka okungenalutho lapho bebanjwe ngumama, noma babonisa isimilo esiphazamisayo njengokuzulazula emuva naphambili lapho umama eseduze.

Kubantu abadala ngale ndlela yokunamathisela, bangafisa isifiso esivela kubalingani babo esivame ukuba ngumthombo wokwesaba kwabo.

Abantu abangahlelekile bayakudinga ukusondelana, kepha-ke, bahlangabezana nokuphazamiseka ngokuthembela nokuthembela kwabanye. Abayilawuli kahle imizwa yabo futhi bahlala kude nokunamathiselwe ngokomzwelo, ngenxa yokwesaba kwabo ukulimala.

Uma ungakacaci ngesitayela sakho sokunamathiselwe, ungathatha futhi, zama i- 'Attachment Style Quiz' ukuhlola ukuthi unamathiselwe yini komunye umuntu nokuthi kangakanani.

Izitayela zokunamathisela zibuthinta kanjani ubuhlobo bakho

Njengoba iningi labantu abadala lingazange libhekane nezitayela zokunamathisela abazakha ebuntwaneni, zigcina lezi zimilo empilweni yazo yabantu abadala, okuba, ngaleyo ndlela kube umthwalo wemizwa wobudlelwano bazo.

Lo mqondo yilokho izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo ezikubiza ngokuthi “ukudluliswa”- lapho othile eqondisa kabusha imizwa nezindlela zokuziphatha azizwa esengumntwana ebudlelwaneni obungena esikhundleni sokuba umuntu omdala.

Noma singafuni ukukuvuma, iningi lethu liyashada ngolunye uhlobo lomama nobaba bethu. Noma okungenani lezo zimfanelo ezifanayo yizo esizibona kubo. W futhi lapho umuntu ehlangabezana nezinhlobo ezithile zezimo / izehlakalo ezicindezelayo singazibona lezo zimilo ekuziphatheni kwabo.

Ukubhangqa okuvamile okungenampilo kungukugwema ukukhathazeka ngokuxhalaba-okungaqondakali. Laba bobabili bavame ukuhlangana ebudlelwaneni ukuphindaphinda amandla nomama ebuntwaneni. Ukuziphatha kwabo ngokungqubuzana kungadala izingxabano ezinkulu ebudlelwaneni.

Umuntu omdala onombono ovelele uyethuka lapho ehlukaniswa nomlingani wakhe futhi efuna ukunakwa kubo.

Bangafisa futhi kwesinye isikhathi bafune ukuthi umlingani wabo ahlangabezane nezidingo zabo. Lokhu kunamathela kudala umlingani ogweme ukuya emagqumeni ... noma egumbini elingaphansi. Lapho umlingani ophambene naye eyeka ukunxanela kwakhe, uzakwethu obalekayo uyabuya.

Umlingani ogwema ukuthi, angakwazi ukusho isidingo sabo se-attentio, n noma kunjalo, kepha umqondo wokwehlukanisa wenza ukuthi kube nokukhathazeka ngaphakathi kubo. Lapho isikhala esiningi umlingani ophikisayo enikeza umlingani wakhe okugwema, kulapho bobabili abalingani behlala benelisekile.

Ngaphandle kokuthi bobabili abalingani babone ukuthi ukuphela komuntu ongaguquguquki ophethe ngokugcwele ukuhlangabezana nezidingo zakhe uqobo lwabo, izinto zizinzile kuphela kuze kube yilapho umjikelezo uziphinda.

Ukushintsha isitayela sakho sokunamathiselwe

Ngeke ukwazi ukushintsha isitayela sokunamathiselwa komlingani wakho, ngakho-ke into engcono kakhulu ongayenza ukuguqula isitayela sakho sokunamathiselwe.

Kuhlala kunethuba lokuthi umuntu angalungisa amaphethini abenawo ngaphakathi kwengqondo yabo, kepha lowo muntu akadingi nje ukufuna ukwenza kanjalo, kepha futhi athole isibindi sokuhamba endaweni engaphephile ngenkathi behlola izizathu ezintsha.

Ukubona ngeso lengqondo kanye ne-hypnosis kungaba izindlela ezinhle zokuqala ukubuyela emuva nokwakha kabusha isibopho esivikelekile ngokwakho.

Ukuthuthukisa ukuqonda ngesitayela sakho sokunamathiselwe nokuthi kuthonya kanjani impilo yakho nobudlelwano nakho kuzosiza. Ikakhulukazi, uma futhi usebenza ekwakheni ukuzazisa kwakho bese wenza imikhuba yokuguqula lokho kulungise amaphethini owakhombayo.

Uma ukhathazekile

Uma ungaqondakali futhi uzizwa ukhathazekile noma uswele umlingani wakho, esikhundleni sokufuna okuthile ngaphandle kwakho ukukunaka okufisayo, yazi ukuthi lokhu kuyindlela yakho yokunamathisela bese ubuza ukuthi yini ongazinika yona okwamanje ukuxhuma kuwe nokuhlangabezana nezidingo zakho.

Lokhu kungafaka izinto ezifana nokuthi:

  • Ziphathe ngokubhucunga umzimba.
  • Zikhiphe ngosuku lokudla kwakusihlwa.
  • Thatha isigaba se-yoga noma umdanso.
  • Zindla.
  • Zijwayeze enye indlela yokuzithanda.
  • Gcina incwadi yemizwa yakho ukuze uhlole noma yimaphi amaphethini aqala imizwa eswele.

Uma ugwema

  • Zijwayeze ukuveza isidingo sakho sendawo ngendlela emnene, enozwelo ngaphambi kufika ezingeni lapho ufuna ukubaleka kumlingani wakho.
  • Zijwayeze ukuveza imizwa yakho bese ucela umlingani wakho ukuthi akunikeze indawo ephephile yokuyikhuluma ngaphandle kokuphendula noma ukwahlulela.

Kuzo zonke Izitayela Zokunamathiselwe

  • Ungabi yicala lokudideka kwabalingani bakho!

Uma ucindezelwa, khumbula ukuthi isitayela sokunamathiselwa komlingani wakho siyinto eyakhiwe kusukela besebancane.

Yize lokhu kuziphatha kungenziwa kabusha noma kudluliselwe kuwe, i- Ukuziphatha AKUKHO ngawe, futhi akusona isibonakaliso sakho. Ungangeni ogibeni lokucabanga ukuthi nguwe okufanele usolwe ngokuziphatha komlingani wakho.

Ukwelulekwa nokwelashwa kungasiza

Izikhathi eziningi asazi ukuthi senza ngendlela ethile ngenxa yezitayela zethu zokunamathiselwe. Ukuba nomsebenzi wobungcweti nawe ukukhulisa ukuqonda kwakho mayelana nesitayela sakho sokunamathiselwe kuyindlela enhle yokuguqula indlela oziphatha ngayo.

Abeluleki nabelaphi bangasiza labo abanezitayela zokunamathisela ezingenampilo babone ukuthi okuhlangenwe nakho kwabo nabanakekeli babo kubumbe kanjani amasu abo okubhekana nesimo nokuthi lawa masu anciphisa kanjani ubudlelwano babo esikhathini esizayo futhi afaka isandla ekuhlangenwe nakho kwabo kosizi.

Ngaphezu kwalokho, abeluleki nabelaphi bangasiza futhi abantu abanezinkinga zokunamathiselwe ukuthola izindlela zokufeza izidingo zabo ezingagcwaliseki.

Ushintsho lwangempela aluveli emzabalazweni wokulungisa okuthile; kuza ngokuba nokuzazi wena nesimo. Ngamanye amagama, wukuqwashisa okubangela inguquko, hhayi umzabalazo.

Ukudla okudlela endlini

Wonke umuntu unezitayela zokunamathisela ezihlukile, futhi akekho okufanele asolwe ngezakho. Kungaba lula ukuqondisa ukukhungatheka kwakho kunina noma kumnakekeli oyinhloko, kodwa khumbula ukuthi wonke umzali uyayithanda futhi uyayinakekela ingane yakhe ngokusemandleni ayo.

Okunamathiselwe komuntu kuhlale kubhekwa njengento eyinhloko, esekwe kubhayoloji enezimpande eziqinile zokuvela. Njengoba ucwaningo lokunamathiselwe lube khona amashumi ambalwa eminyaka nje, ukuqwashisa ngale ndaba kusanda kuqala.

Yazi ukuthi ungathola ulwazi ngesitayela sakho sokunamathiselwe futhi uhlale unethemba lokuthi ngenani elifanele lokuqwashisa, ukuzilawula, nokuzithanda, ungasuka kokungavikeleki uye kokunamathiselwe okuphephile.