-Delile
- Izici ezintathu ezidingekayo ekusondelaneni ngokomzwelo yilezi:
- Yini ongayenza ngokuhlukumezeka, ukuzizwa ungaphephile, noma ukungakwazi ukwethemba abantu?
Kungokwemvelo yethu ukufuna ukuzizwa sisondele futhi sixhumeke kwabanye, noma kunjalo, kwesinye isikhathi izinto zingenzeka ukusivimba ukuthi sikwazi ukwakha lobu budlelwano kalula.
Ukwakha uhlobo lokusondelana nothile lapho ungabelana khona ngokwesaba kwakho okujule kakhulu nemicabango yakho uqobo yinto abelaphi abayibiza ngokuthi ukusondelana ngokomzwelo. Ukusondelana ngokomzwelo kungaba khona phakathi kwabangane nasebudlelwaneni obunempilo bokuthandana. Kubaluleke kakhulu enjabulweni yabantu, empilweni nasenhlalakahleni kepha kwesinye isikhathi amandla ethu okusondelana ngokomzwelo ayaphazamiseka.
Izici ezintathu ezidingekayo ekusondelaneni ngokomzwelo yilezi:
1. Ukwethemba - Udinga ukwazi ukuzizwa uthembekile komunye umuntu ukuze uzizwe uvikelekile lapho uvulelekile kubo. Ukwethemba kubalulekile ngokwabelana nokuxhumeka. Kaningi kunezinkinga, ukwethembana kuvame ukusukela kumuntu ongakwazi ukwethemba, kunokuba omunye umuntu angathembeki.
2. Ukuphepha - Kubalulekile ukuzizwa uvikelekile ngaphakathi kwakho nasendaweni yakho ukuze ukwazi ukwethemba. Uma ungazizwa uphephile, awukwazi ukuvula ukuthembela kothile.
3. Izinga Eliphezulu Lokuvuleleka Nokungafihli lutho - Izinga eliphakeme lokuvuleleka kanye nokwenza izinto obala kuyadingeka ekwakheni ukusondelana kweqiniso kungaba nomngani noma umlingani. Ukuphepha nokwethembana kuyisisekelo sokukhululeka ekubeni nezinga eliphakeme lokuvuleleka kanye nokwenza izinto obala.
Imvamisa kunganakwa, isizathu esiyinhloko sokuthi kungani imizwa yokuphepha nokukwazi ukwethemba abantu kuthikamezeka kubantu abaningi kungenxa yokuhlukumezeka. Ukuhlukumezeka kungadala izinguquko ebuchosheni ezingaholela ekushintsheni okuningi kwemizwa, ekuziphatheni nasekucabangeni. Abantu abaningi bacabanga ukuhlukumezeka njengesigameko esibuhlungu njengengozi, ukuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi, noma ukufakazela isehlakalo esibi, kepha incazelo yangempela yokuhlukumezeka ibanzi kakhulu. Eqinisweni, iningi labantu lihlangabezane nohlobo oluthile lokuhlukumezeka noma olunye. Ukuhlukumezeka kuchazwa njengokuhlangenwe nakho okunzima kakhulu noma okungathandeki okudala izinkinga ezingokwengqondo noma ezingokomzwelo kwabanye abantu ngokujwayelekile isikhathi esithile ngemuva komcimbi noma izehlakalo eziphazamisayo, ngaphandle kwalapho kuphathwe ngenye indlela.
Ngenkathi okunye okuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu kungaholela esimweni esibizwa nge-Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), kunezinhlobo eziningi zokuhlukumezeka njengokuthola umzali ophethe ngokweqile, ogxekayo noma ohlukumezayo; ukuhlukunyezwa esikoleni; noma ukuba ebudlelwaneni obuhlukumezayo okungathinta ukujikeleza kwe-neural ebuchosheni ngendlela efanayo ngaphandle kokuholela ku-PTSD. Umphumela uba ukuthi abantu abahlangabezana nokuhlukumezeka bangakuthola kunzima ukwethemba abantu futhi bazizwe bephephile ngokujwayelekile. Lokhu nakho kwenza kube nzima kakhulu kulabo bantu ukuthuthukisa ukusondelana kweqiniso ngokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni babo.
Yini ongayenza ngokuhlukumezeka, ukuzizwa ungaphephile, noma ukungakwazi ukwethemba abantu?
Kunendlela yokwelapha ebabazekayo esetshenziselwa ukwelapha i-PTSD, ebizwa nge-EMDR therapy (emele ukwenziwa kabusha kwe-Eye Movement Desensitization) futhi manje isetshenziselwa ukwelapha abantu abahlukumezekile kuzo zonke izigaba nobukhali. Ukwelashwa kwe-EMDR kusebenza ngokusebenzisa ukuvuselelwa kobuchopho kwamazwe omabili, kungaba ngokunyakaza kwamehlo, amathoni womsindo, noma ngokuthepha, ukuxazulula imizwa yokwesaba, ukukhathazeka, intukuthelo, ukulahlekelwa nobuhlungu obungokomzwelo. Le nqubo futhi ilungisa imizwa yokwethembana nokuphepha ukuze inike abantu amandla okuthuthukisa ubudlelwano obusondelene ngokomzwelo.
Ukwelapha ukuhlukumezeka kungasiza ekuxazululeni izithiyo ekusondelaneni ngokomzwelo. Uma unenkinga yokuzizwa usondelene futhi uxhumeke kwabanye ungahle ufune ukuxoxa ngezinkinga zakho nomelaphi wendawo noma we-inthanethi we-EMDR noma uchwepheshe wokuhlukumezeka ukuze abone ukuthi ngabe unokuhlukumezeka okungasonjululwanga yini.