-Delile
- UKerry noTim: Ukukhaphela kubangelwa ukubanjwa ngabazali
- UCynthy noJerry: Inkohliso engapheli
- UTherese noHarvey: Umlingani onganakiwe
- UCarrie noJason: Bancishwa amathuba okukhulelwa
Uke wawuzwa umfanekiso wenkosi nendlovukazi eyathumela indodana yabo endala, emiselwe ukuba yinkosi, emzamweni womhlaba wonke wokufuna unkosikazi ohloniphekile, onomusa, ohlakaniphile ukuba ahlanganyele esihlalweni sakhe sobukhosi? “Vulani amehlo enu evulekile,” kweluleka abazali bakhe ngokugcizelela njengoba izibulo labo lalihamba lizofuna yena. Ngemuva konyaka inkosana yabuya nokukhetha kwayo, abesifazane abasebancane abathandwa ngabazali bayo. Ngosuku lomshado, ngamazwi anamandla kunalawo asetshenziswe ngaphambi kohambo lwakhe, abazali bakhe banikeza esinye iseluleko, kulokhu kwabashadikazi: “Manje njengoba senithole uthando lwenu lwaphakade, kufanele nifunde ukugcina amehlo enu evaliwe ngokwengxenye , njengoba ushalazela futhi uxola impilo yakho yonke yomshado. Futhi khumbula, uma kwenzeka wenza noma yini elimazayo nganoma iyiphi indlela, xolisa ngokushesha. ”
Umngani osondelene noneminyaka eminingi njengommeli wedivosi uphendule ubuhlakani balo mzekeliso: “Ngezindlela eziningi ukuthi imibhangqwana ilimale noma igudlane ngendlela engafanele kuyisimangaliso ukuthi abantu ababili bangahlala kahle ndawonye. Ukunganaki, ukukhetha izindaba zakho, nokuxolisa ngokuziphatha okulimazayo kuyiseluleko esihlakaniphe kunazo zonke. ”
Noma ngabe umlayezo uhlakaniphile kangakanani, ukuthethelela akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi ukukufeza. Yebo, kunjalo, kulula ukuxolela indoda ekhohlwa ukushaya ucingo ithi izofika sekwephuzile esidlweni sakusihlwa lapho isebenza kanzima futhi ikhathazekile. Kulula ukuxolela unkosikazi ngokukhohlwa wukulanda umyeni wakhe esiteshini sesitimela lapho esindwa yimithwalo yakhe yemfanelo.
Kepha sixola kanjani lapho sizwa ubuhlungu noma sikhashelwa ukuhlangana okuyinkimbinkimbi okubandakanya ukukhaphela, ukulahlekelwa, nokwenqatshwa? Isipiliyoni singifundise ukuthi ezimweni ezinjengalezi indlela ehlakaniphile kunayo yonke akuyona eyokungcwaba ukulimala, intukuthelo noma ulaka, kepha ukufuna ukwelulekwa ukuze uthole ukuqonda okugcwele nokuqwashisa, umgwaqo onokwethenjelwa oya ekuxolelweni futhi onikeza nokuqondisa okunengqondo. Izibonelo zomkhuba wami ezikhanyisa le ndlela ziyalandela.
UKerry noTim: Ukukhaphela kubangelwa ukubanjwa ngabazali
UKerry noTim (hhayi amagama angempela, kunjalo), abazali bengane yomfana enezinyanga ezine ubudala, bahlangana ekolishi futhi bathandana ngemuva nje kwalomhlangano. Abazali bakaTim, umbhangqwana ocebile, bahlala amakhilomitha ambalwa ukusuka endodaneni nakumalokazana wabo, kanti abazali bakaKerry, abanemali encane, bahlala amakhilomitha ayinkulungwane. Ngenkathi umama kaKerry noTim bengazwani, abazali bakaKerry bayijabulela inkampani yomkhwenyana wabo (njengoba uTim enza eyabo) futhi babesondelene nendodakazi yabo.
UTim noKerry bafune ukwelulekwa ngoba bebengayeki ukuphikisana ngesigameko esisanda kwenzeka. Ngaphambi kokuzalwa kwendodana yabo uKerry wayekholelwa ukuthi yena noTim babevumelene ngokuthi ngeke baxhumane nabazali babo kuze kuzalwe ingane. Lapho nje uKerry eqala ukubeletha, uTim wathumelela abazali bakhe imiyalezo, abaphuthuma esibhedlela. UTim usebenzise isikhathi esiningi somsebenzi kaKerry ebhalela abazali bakhe imiyalezo ebazisa ngenqubekela phambili. "UTim ungikhaphele," kuchaza uKerry ngokufutheka esimisweni sethu sokuqala, eqhubeka, "Abazali bami baqonda ukuthi bazokuzwa ngathi ngemuva kokubeletha okuphephile. “Bheka, Kerry,” kuphendula uTim, “ngikutshele obekufanele ukuzwe, kodwa ngikholelwa ukuthi abazali bami banelungelo lokwazi konke okwenzekayo.”
Ezinyangeni ezintathu zomsebenzi onzima uTim wabona ukuthi wayengakamukelanga igxathu elibalulekile emishadweni ephumelelayo: isidingo sokushintsha ukwethembeka kusuka kubazali kuye kothandana naye, into abazali bakaKerry abayiqonda. Wabona nokuthi kwakudingeka ukuthi kube nengxoxo yenhliziyo nomama wakhe, owabona ukuthi ubukela phansi umkakhe ngenxa yokuntula kwengcebo yabazali bakhe nalokho abakuthatha “njengokuntuleka kwesikhundla emphakathini.”
UKerry wabona kunesidingo sokwenza ubungane kumamezala wakhe, abona ukuthi "ngeke abe mubi - phela ukhulise indodana enhle." Ngokulindelwe okucacile kukaTim kunina, kanye nokuzimisela kukaTerry ukuyeka amagqubu, izingxabano zadamba, kwaqala isahluko esisha, esihle kuwo wonke umndeni.
UCynthy noJerry: Inkohliso engapheli
UCynthy noJerry babeneminyaka engama-35 ubudala, futhi babeshade iminyaka engu-7. Ngamunye wabo wayezibophezele emsebenzini, futhi wayengazifisi izingane. UCynthy weza kokwelulekwa yedwa, njengoba uJerry enqaba ukujoyina. UCynthy waqala ukukhala lapho nje kuvalwa umnyango wehhovisi lami, echaza ukuthi wayesephelelwe ukwethemba umyeni wakhe, “Angazi ukuthi ngiphendukelephi futhi ngilimale kakhulu futhi ngithukuthele ngoba angicabangi ukuthi ubusuku bukaJerry bokuhlwa kakhulu buhlobene nomsebenzi, kodwa ngeke akhulume nami ngokwenzekayo. ” Echaza ngokwengeziwe, uCynthy wabelane, “UJerry akasenandaba nokwenza uthando, futhi ubonakala engenandaba nami njengomuntu. "
Phakathi nezinyanga ezintathu besebenza ndawonye, uCynthy wabona ukuthi umyeni wakhe wayemqambele amanga phakathi nomshado wabo. Ukhumbule isigameko ekuqaleni kwempilo yabo yomshado lapho uCynthy ethatha ikhefu emsebenzini wakhe njenge-accountant ukuhola isicelo somngani wakhe oseduze sokuba nehhovisi likahulumeni elikhethiwe. Ngemuva kokhetho, umngane wakhe alahlekelwa ngamavoti ambalwa kuphela, uJerry watshela uCynthy ngendlela ebandayo nenjabulo, “Ubengomele ukhetho lwakho, hhayi owami. Ngishaye sengathi ngiyameseka ukuze ngikuvale umlomo. ”
Ngenyanga yakhe yesihlanu yokwelashwa, uCynthy watshela uJerry ukuthi ufuna ukwehlukana. Waphuma ngenjabulo, futhi uCynthy wabona ukuthi wayekhululekile ukukwazi ukuchitha isikhathi nomunye. Kungekudala ngemuva kokuba ezwe ukuthi unentshisekelo kuye yelungu lekilabhu lakhe lezincwadi elinomkakhe owashona ngonyaka owedlule, futhi ubudlelwano babo baqala ukukhula ngokushesha. UCynthy wayekuthanda ikakhulukazi ukwazi izingane zikaCarl, amantombazane amabili amancane, aneminyaka engu-6 no-7. Ngalesi sikhathi uJerry wabona ukuthi wayenze iphutha elikhulu. Ukucela unkosikazi wakhe ukuthi ashiye izinhlelo zesehlukaniso futhi amxolele, watshelwa ukuthi, “Impela ngiyakuxolela. Ungilethele ukuqonda okwengeziwe ngokuthi ngingubani, nokuthi kungani isehlukaniso sidingeka kangaka. ”
UTherese noHarvey: Umlingani onganakiwe
UTherese noHarvey babenamadodana angamawele, aneminyaka engu-15, lapho uHarvey ethandana nomunye wesifazane. Ngesikhathi sethu sokuqala, uTherese uzwakalisa ulaka ngodaba lwakhe, kanti uHarvey waphikisa wathi naye wayethukuthele ngoba impilo yonke yomkakhe igxile emadodaneni abo. Emazwini kaHarvey, “UTherese wakhohlwa kudala ukuthi unendoda, futhi angikwazi ukumxolela ngalokhu kungazi. Kungani ngingafuni ekugcineni ukuba nowesifazane okhombisa ukungikhathalela? ” Ukwethembeka kukaHarvey kwakuyindlela yokuvuka yangempela kumkakhe.
UTherese wayezimisele ukuqonda izizathu zokuziphatha ayengazange akuqaphele noma akuqaphele futhi washeshe wabona ukuthi ngenxa yokuthi ubaba wakhe nomfowabo bafa ndawonye engozini yemoto lapho eneminyaka eyi-9, wayezibandakanya ngokweqile namadodana akhe, aqanjwa ngegama likababa wakhe ongasekho futhi mfowethu. Ngale ndlela, wayekholelwa ukuthi uzokwazi ukubavikela engozini efanayo noyise nomfowabo. UHarvey ubone ukuthi bekufanele akhulume ngentukuthelo nokudumazeka unkosikazi wakhe kungekudala, kunokuba ayivumele ikhule. Ngesikhathi sokuqonda lokhu ngokuhlanganyela, indaba kaHarvey yayisiphelile; ukuqaphela kwabasondeza kakhulu kunangaphambili; kanye nokuqonda kwehlisa yonke intukuthelo.
UCarrie noJason: Bancishwa amathuba okukhulelwa
UCarrie wephuze ukukhulelwa ngoba uJason wayengaqiniseki ukuthi ufuna ingane. "Ngithanda ukukhululeka ukuthi sithathe futhi sijabule noma kunini lapho sifuna khona," wayemtshele ephindelela. "Angifuni ukukuyeka lokho." UJason wayengafuni nokuba umzali ngesikhathi iwashi likaCarrie lokuzalwa, eneminyaka engama-35 ubudala, liqala ukumemeza lithi “Manje noma Ungalokothi! ”
Ngalesi sikhathi uCarrie uthathe isinqumo sokuthi noma benoJason, noma ngabe ubesazimisele ngokukhulelwa. Lo mehluko obonakala ungeke uxazululwe, kanye nokufutheka kwabo komunye nomunye ngezifiso ezingavunyelwanga, kubalethe ekwelashweni.
Ngesikhathi sisebenza uJason wabona ukuthi isehlukaniso sabazali bakhe lapho eneminyaka eyishumi ubudala, nobaba owayengenandaba naye, kwamenza wesaba ukuthi “akanazo izinto zokuba ubaba.” Kodwa-ke, njengoba umsebenzi wethu uqhubeka wabona konke lokho ayekwenqaba umkakhe, futhi wathembisa ukuthi "uzofunda ukuba yilokho obekufanele ngifunde ukuba yikho." Lokhu kusekelwa nobubele kwehlisa ulaka lukaCarrie, futhi-ke, uJason wabona ukuthi intukuthelo yakhe kuCarrrie "yayingenangqondo futhi inonya."
Ngalesi sikhathi, noma kunjalo, izivivinyo ezingenakubalwa ezilandela imizamo kaCarrie ehlulekile yokukhulelwa (uJason ngaso sonke isikhathi ngasohlangothini lukaCarrie) zembula ukuthi amaqanda kaCarrie ayesekhulile kakhulu ukuthi angavundiswa. Ukubonisana okwengeziwe kwaholela ekufundeni kwalezi zithandani ngokuthi kungenzeka kube “neqanda lomnikeli,” futhi ndawonye uCarrie noJason bafuna inkampani enedumela elihle futhi bathola umnikeli okhethwe ngokucophelela. Manje bangabazali abakhanyayo bakaJenny, oneminyaka emithathu. Bayavuma: “Besingamethemba kanjani umuntu omangalisa ukwedlula indodakazi yethu?” Futhi nokuningi. Ngamazwi kaJason, "Ngiyabonga ukuthi ngafunda ukubona konke engangikuphika unkosikazi wami engimthanda kakhulu, futhi ngijabule kakhulu ngokuthi ngizinikeze le njabulo engabelana ngayo."