-Delile
- 1. Lalela ngothando
- 2. Ungabi kude kakhulu futhi usebenze ngaso sonke isikhathi
- 3. Ungaphuthelwa yizo zonke izinkomba
- 4. Khetha isikhathi sakho ngokucophelela
- 5. Khuluma uqonde futhi ulula
Ukuxhumana okusebenzayo emshadweni ngokusobala kuyisidingo sokwakha noma yibuphi ubuhlobo. Ukuxhumana kwenzeka ngaso sonke isikhathi emshadweni ezingeni elithile, noma kungamazwi noma kungabi ngamazwi.
Ubudlelwano buqala ngokuxhumana, futhi lapho kuba nokuwohloka kwezokuxhumana, khona-ke umshado usenkingeni enkulu. Ngakho-ke, kunengqondo ukulwela ukuxhumana okusebenzayo emshadweni uma ufuna ukuba nobudlelwano obuhle futhi obuqinile.
Okulandelayo okungafanele kwenziwe nokungafanele kwenziwe kuzobalula ezinye zezikhiye ezibalulekile zokuxhumana okusebenzayo emshadweni.
1. Lalela ngothando
Ukulalela kuyisisekelo sokukhulumisana okuhle emshadweni. Kungashiwo nokuthi ukulalela kuyinkomba yokuthi umthanda kangakanani oshade naye.
Ukulalela ngothando kubandakanya ukulalela lapho othandekayo wakho ekhuluma, ngenhloso ebonakalayo yokumazi kangcono, ukuqonda izidingo zakhe, nokuthola ukuthi uzizwa kanjani futhi ucabanga kanjani ngezimo nangempilo.
Ukubukana emehlweni ngenkathi ukhuluma kuhamba ibanga elide ekudluliseleni ukunaka kwakho okungahlukanisiwe, kanye nokuphendula ngozwela nangokufanele, ngamazwi okuvuma nezenzo.
Uma uqhubeka uphazamisa lapho oshade naye ekhuluma, ucabanga ukuthi uyazi ukuthi ngabe bathini, kungekudala uzovala noma yikuphi ukuxhumana okusebenzayo emshadweni. Akusizi nokulinda baze bayeke ukukhuluma ukuze ukwazi ukuphawula.
Ukushintsha isihloko kungazelelwe kunikeza umyalezo ocacile wokuthi awulaleli, noma awunandaba ngokwanele ukuzwa oshade naye aphume nganoma yisiphi isihloko abebematasa naso.
Lokhu ngokungenakugwenywa kungenye yezinto ezingafanele futhi ezingafanele zenziwe zokuxhumana ngempumelelo.
2. Ungabi kude kakhulu futhi usebenze ngaso sonke isikhathi
Ikhono elisebenzayo lokukhulumisana okuhle emshadweni ukufunda ukuya ezingeni elifanayo nomlingani wakho kunoma iyiphi ingxoxo enikeziwe. Ngokuyisisekelo, kunamazinga amabili: izinga lekhanda nezinga lenhliziyo.
Ezingeni lekhanda, kuxoxwa ngamaqiniso, imibono, nemicabango, kuyilapho kusezingeni lenhliziyo, kumayelana nemizwa nemizwa, okuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu nokujabulisayo.
Ukuxhumana okuhle nokuqonda kwenzeka lapho zombili izinhlangothi zilingana futhi zingaphendula ngokufanele ezingeni elifanayo.
Okuphikisayo kuyiqiniso lapho umuntu oyedwa ekhuluma ezingeni lenhliziyo, ngokwesibonelo, kanti omunye ephendula ezingeni lekhanda. Cabanga ngalesi simo: indoda ifika ekhaya ithole unkosikazi wayo elele ezisonge embhedeni ngamehlo abomvu, akhukhumele nendlu ikhungathekile.
Uthi: “Kwenzakalani sithandwa sami?” Futhi uthi, ehogela ngezinyembezi, “Ngikhathele kakhulu ...” Uphonsa izingalo zakhe bese ethi, “Uhlale ekhaya usuku lonke; yini okhathele yiyo, ngabe uhlanze amakamelo! ”
Kepha, ukuxhumana okusebenzayo emshadweni akubandakanyi lolu hlobo lwempendulo. Ngakho-ke, ungaxhumana kanjani kangcono?
Impendulo efanelekile ekuxhumaneni kwezinga 'lenhliziyo' uzwela, ukuqonda, nothando, kanti ukuxhumana kwezinga 'lekhanda' kungaphendulwa ngamazwi ezeluleko nangezixazululo ezingaba khona.
3. Ungaphuthelwa yizo zonke izinkomba
Ukudonsana ngaphandle kokungabaza enye yezindlela ezisebenza kahle kakhulu zokuxhumana emshadweni. Lokhu kudinga ukuphendulana emazwini womunye nomunye ngendlela yokuthi oshade naye azizwe emenyiwe futhi ekhuthazekile ukuthi abelane ngokwengeziwe, futhi ezingeni elijulile.
Akufanele kube khona ingcindezi noma ukuphoqelelwa ukwabelana. Ngamunye wethu unikeza izinkomba njalo ngokuqondene nokuthi yini esihlangabezana nayo ezingeni lenhliziyo.
Lokhu kungaba yizinkomba ezingezona ezomlomo ezifana nolimi lomzimba, izinyembezi, noma ithoni nevolumu yezwi. Njengoba intuthu ibonisa umlilo, lezi zinkomba zikhomba izingqinamba ezibalulekile noma okuhlangenwe nakho umuntu angafisa ukukhuluma ngakho.
Ngokunaka lezi zinkomba, ukuxhumana okuthile okubalulekile kungenziwa ukuze ujulise futhi uqinise umshado wakho.
Esimweni esichazwe ngenhla, indoda eqaphile ibingazibona izinyembezi zomkayo futhi ibone ukuthi mhlawumbe kuningi kakhulu "ekukhathaleni" kwayo. Ngemuva kokumenzela inkomishi yetiye, ubengahlala phansi embhedeni eduze kwakhe bese ethi, “Ngitshele ukuthi uzizwa kanjani nokuthi yini ekukhathazayo.”
Ungakukhohlwa lokhu okwenziwayo nokungafanele kwenziwe kwamakhono wokuxhumana ngoba angesinye sezici ezibucayi zokuxhumana okusebenzayo emshadweni.
4. Khetha isikhathi sakho ngokucophelela
Akunakwenzeka ngaso sonke isikhathi ukukhetha isikhathi esifanele sokuxhumana ebudlelwaneni, futhi, ezimeni ezicindezelayo lapho izinto zingahambi ngokungazelelwe.
Kepha ngokujwayelekile, kungcono ukulinda ithuba lapho kunokuphazamiseka okuncane ukukhuluma ngezinkinga ezibalulekile. Lapho omunye wenu noma nobabili nicasuke kakhulu futhi nithintekile, leso akusona isikhathi esihle sokuzama ukuxhumana.
Linda isikhashana kuze kube yilapho senipholile kancane, bese nihlala phansi ndawonye nibelane ngemicabango nemizwa yenu omunye nomunye nize nivumelane ngokuya phambili.
Uma unodaba olubalulekile okufanele uxoxe ngalo, isikhathi sedina phambi kwezingane mhlawumbe akuyona indlela engcono kakhulu. Lapho umndeni usuzinzile ubusuku bonke, khona-ke wena noshade naye nibe nesikhathi sedwa salezo zinhlobo zezingxoxo.
Uma omunye wenu engumuntu “wasekuseni” kanti omunye akayona, lokhu kufanele futhi kucatshangelwe, hhayi ukuletha izindaba ezisindayo ebusuku kakhulu lapho kuyisikhathi sokulala, futhi udinga ukulala.
Lezi yizinto eziyinkimbinkimbi zokuxhumana komshado noma yikuphi ukuxhumana kobudlelwano okungasiza ekuthuthukiseni amakhono wokuxhumana kakhulu, okuzoholela ebudlelwaneni obujabulisayo nobunempilo.
5. Khuluma uqonde futhi ulula
Ukukhathazeka ngokweqile ngokuthi ungaxhumana kanjani ngempumelelo ebudlelwaneni kunalokho kungasebenzisana nezinhloso zakho ezinhle futhi konakalise amakhono okuxhumana obudlelwano akhona
Kwesinye isikhathi singaba nokuzwela futhi sesabe ukucasula oshade naye size sigcine sikhuluma ngemibuthano.
Indlela enhle ukusho ukuthi uqonde ukuthini futhi usho lokho okushoyo. Kubudlelwano obuphephile nobunempilo, lapho bobabili abalingani bazi ukuthi bayathandwa futhi bayamukelwa, noma ngabe kukhona ukungezwani, uyazi ukuthi bebengahlosile noma benonya.
Indoda ehlakaniphile yake yathi kumlingani wayo: “Uma ngisho okuthile okungenzeka kunezincazelo ezimbili, yazi ukuthi bengisho enye engcono kakhulu.” Lesi esinye sezibonelo ezinhle kakhulu zamakhono okuxhumana anempilo emibhangqwaneni.
Okunye kokuzivocavoca okubalulekile kwemibhangqwana emshadweni ohlala isikhathi eside wukuzijwayeza ukungalindeli oshade naye ukuthi afunde okucabangayo, bese ucasuka uma ekuthola kungalungile.
Ngakho-ke, ukuthatha kokuxhumana okusebenzayo emshadweni ukuthi kungcono kakhulu ukusho izidingo zakho kalula nangokucacile - impendulo inguyebo noma cha. Lapho-ke wonke umuntu uyazi lapho emi khona futhi angaqhubeka ngokufanele.
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