-Delile
Uma ubuza abantu abayi-100 emgwaqweni, uma benokwesaba ukuba bodwa uma bengashadile, bengenabo ubudlelwano, ama-99% angathi abanankinga yokuba bodwa noma abanalo uvalo lokuba nesizungu.
Kepha lokho kungaba amanga aphelele, ajulile.
Eminyakeni engama-30 edlule, umbhali, umeluleki, umphathi we-Life Coach, noNgqongqoshe uDavid Essel bebelokhu besiza abantu ukuthi bafinyelele emsukeni wokuthi kungani ubudlelwano babo bungebuhle ngendlela abebengafanele noma befanele ngayo.
Ngezansi, uDavid wabelana ngemicabango yakhe ngeqiniso elilula lokuthi abantu abaningi bayesaba ukuba bodwa empilweni.
Umbhubhisi omkhulu wobudlelwano bothando obukhona
“Eminyakeni engama-40 edlule, iminyaka engama-30 njengomeluleki, umqeqeshi wezempilo, futhi nginguNgqongqoshe, ngibone izinhlelo zezinkolelo ngothando nobudlelwano zishintsha.
Kepha ushintsho olulodwa olungazange lwenzeke, nasekuqedeni kobudlelwano bothando lwethu, ukwesaba nokukhathazeka kokuba wedwa empilweni.
Ngiyazi, ngiyazi uma ufunda lokhu njengamanje futhi awushadile mhlawumbe uthi “UDavid akangazi, angingedwa empilweni, futhi anginalo uvalo lokuba ngedwa, Ngihlala ngikhululekile uma nginenkampani yami, angidingi abanye abantu ukuthi bajabule ... Njll njll.
Kepha iqiniso liphambene nalokho.
Abantu abaningi abakwazi ukuma bodwa. Kunengcindezi enkulu, ikakhulukazi kwabesifazane, yokuba sebudlelwaneni, ukuganwa, noma ukushada ukuthi kowesifazane oneminyaka engaphezu kwengama-25 ongashadile ubhekwa “njengokuthi kumele kube khona okungahambi kahle ngaye.”
Ngakho-ke lapho ngisebenza nabesifazane abafuna ukungena emhlabeni wokuqomisana, ukuthola lowo mlingani ophelele, ngizobacela kuqala ukuthi bacabangele ukuthatha ikhefu elibucayi ngemuva kobuhlobo babo bokugcina ukuze benze umsebenzi odingekayo wokukhipha intukuthelo yabo.
Ngangibacela ukuthi bazibuke esibukweni futhi babone iqhaza abalibambayo eliholele ekungasebenzini kobudlelwano futhi bazazi kancane kancane. Ukuzazi njengowesifazane ongashadile noma owesilisa ongashadile.
Impendulo ihlale ifana: "David ngikhululeke kakhulu ukuba ngedwa ...", Kepha iqiniso lihluke kakhulu; ake ngikunikeze izibonelo.
Encwadini yethu entsha, ethengisa kakhulu, "Izimfihlo zothando nobudlelwano ... Lokho wonke umuntu adinga ukuzazi!" Sinikeza izizathu ezilandelayo zokuthi abantu babhekana kanjani nokuba bodwa, ngenkathi bengekho ebudlelwaneni empilweni, abangenampilo konke.
Abantu babhekana kanjani nokuba bodwa
Inombolo yokuqala. Abantu abesaba ukuba bodwa ngezimpelasonto bazothola indlela yokuziphazamisa, kungaba ngokuphuza, ukubhema, ukudla ngokweqile, isikhathi esiningi esichithwe ku-Netflix.
Ngamanye amazwi, abakukhululekile ngempela ukuba bodwa; kufanele baphazamise izingqondo zabo kunokuba babe sesikhathini samanje kanye nabo.
Inombolo yesibili. Abantu abaningi, lapho sebudlelwaneni obungenampilo, bafuna iphiko noma intombazane enamaphiko, umuntu abazoba sohlangothini, ngakho-ke lapho lobu budlelwano buphela, ngeke babe bodwa. Kuzwakala kujwayelekile?
Inombolo yesithathu. Lapho silala i-hop ie, lapho siqeda ubudlelwano bese singena kobunye, noma siqeda ubudlelwane bethu, futhi ezinsukwini ezingama-30 kamuva, sithandana nomuntu omusha ... Lokho kubizwa ngokuthi ukulala, futhi kuwuphawu olukhulu lokuthi sine ukwesaba ukuba wedwa empilweni.
Cishe eminyakeni eyi-10 eyedlule, ngangisebenza nowesifazane osemusha owayemenzela yonke into: wayehlakaniphile, ekhanga, enakekela umzimba wakhe ejimini ... Kodwa wayengazethembi kangako ngaso sonke isikhathi wayedinga ukuba nabesilisa abaseduze kwakhe.
Ubethandana nomfana oyedwa ophumele obala wathi yena akanandaba nanoma yini enye ngaphandle kokulala naye ... Kodwa wayazi ukuthi angawuguqula umqondo wakhe.
Akusebenzi.
Futhi njengoba ezwa ukuthi wayengenantshisekelo futhi wayengeke awushintshe umqondo wakhe maqondana nobudlelwano, ngokushesha waqala ukukhuluma nomunye umfana, ngenkathi esenendoda yokuqala, ukwenza isiqiniseko sokuthi ngeke abe yedwa .
Waze wangitshela ukuthi uyinhlobo ehlukile yowesifazane, ukuthi kumele abe sebudlelwaneni ukuze azizwe kahle ngaye.
Lokho kubizwa ngokuthi ukuphika. Akekho umuntu okufanele abe sebudlelwaneni ukuze azizwe emuhle ngawe, futhi uma kufanele ube sebudlelwaneni, ubizwa ngokuthi “ngumuntu ozimele ngokweqile ngo-100%.”
Futhi lapho umfana wesibili emtshela ukuthi wayengenandaba nanoma yini enye ngaphandle nje kokuba ngumngani nezinzuzo, waqhubeka nokumbona ngenkathi eqalaza efuna omunye umuntu ogcwalisa isikhala sakhe embhedeni.
Lokho kungazwakala kuhlanya, kepha kujwayelekile, akunampilo, kepha kujwayelekile.
Nawa amanye amathiphu okufanele uwabheke azokufakazela ukuthi uphilile, ujabule, futhi ungesabi ukuba wedwa:
Inombolo yokuqala. NgoLwesihlanu, ngeMigqibelo, ngamaSonto, lapho wonke umuntu engekho ezinsukwini noma emaphathini ... Ukhululekile ukuhlala, funda incwadi; Akudingeki ukuba ubulale ubuchopho bakho ngezidakamizwa, utshwala, ushukela, noma i-nicotine.
Inombolo yesibili. Wakha impilo egcwele izinto zokuzilibazisa, amathuba okuvolontiya, nokuningi ukuze uzizwe umkhulu ngawe, ubuyisela emuva, ngokuba yingxenye yesisombululo kule planethi ngokuqhathaniswa nokuba yingxenye yenkinga.
Inombolo yesithathu. Lapho uthanda inkampani yakho, awunankinga yokuthatha izinsuku ezingama-365 ngemuva kokuphela kobudlelwano besikhathi eside, ngoba uyazi ukuthi udinga ukusula ingqondo, umzimba nomoya wakho ukuze ulungele ubudlelwano obulandelayo.
Landela izeluleko ezingenhla zokuthi ungabhekana kanjani nokuba wedwa, futhi uzoqala ukubona impilo ehluke ngokuphelele, impilo egcwele ukuzethemba nokuzihlonipha okunamandla njengoba ungasabi ukuba wedwa, impilo.