-Delile
Bangaki abantu ngempela ngiyakwazi?
Kunzima ukusho, akunjalo? Ngakho-ke abaningi bethu babeka izingaphambili noma izingaphambili zamehlo omphakathi. Ngisho nakobunye ubudlelwano bethu obuseduze bomndeni nobungane, sisohlangothini lobuhle bamanga kunokuphikisana namaqiniso amabi.
Ukuvulela omunye umuntu iqiniso lethu kungaba enye yezinto ezisabisa kakhulu esingazenza. Ngingathanda ukubheja ukuthi abantu abaningi bangakhetha ukwenza cishe noma yini ngaphandle kokukhombisa omunye umuntu okwangempela, okuluhlaza okwabo.
Lwela uMike Tyson noma ubonise umkakho ukuthi kwangempela wena? Uyazi ukuthi abanye abantu bazokhetha ukungena eringini no-Iron Mike ngokungafani nengxoxo evulekile nethembekile engenye indlela.
U-Bungee weqa eGolden Gate Bridge noma utshele umyeni wakho imfihlo yakho ejulile, emnyama kakhulu? Ngaphandle kokuhluleka, kuzoba khona izintokazi ezizobheka emaphethelweni endawo yaseSan Francisco ngokwesaba okuncane ngokuqhathanisa.
Umshado ubudlelwano obubaluleke kakhulu esingabuthola nomunye umuntu, kepha abanye bethu bayayeka ukuvumela abalingani bethu emhlabeni wethu.
Uma ungakwazi ukuvulela umlingani wakho impilo yakho yonke, ungavulela bani-ke? Kubalulekile ukuthi ubeke phambili ukudala ukusondelana ngokomzwelo nomlingani wakho. Ukwazana ezingeni elijule kangaka kuzosiza ukuxhumana kwakho konke futhi kuzokhulisa uzwela nenhlonipho ngomuntu okhethe ukuchitha impilo yakho naye.
Ukudala ukusondelana ngokwengeziwe ngokomzwelo emshadweni wakho kuyindlela elula, kepha akulula neze. Kuzothatha isibindi ukuziveza ngendlela eqotho, kepha inani ubudlelwano obuzotholwa yilezo zikhathi ezisondelene kakhulu luzodlula lowo muzwa wokukhathazeka obhekene nawo.
Yiba sengozini
Bobabili abesilisa nabesifazane banenkinga yokuba sengozini, kepha njengendoda, ngingasho ukuthi sesikoneni emakethe.
Sikhule sinemiyalezo engaguquguquki efana nokuthi “Qeda” noma “Yimunce” esitshele ukuthi siminyanise noma imuphi umuzwa ongahle ubhekwe njengobuthakathaka. Akukho ukukhala. Akukho ukukhononda. Akukho ukukhala. Ngesinye isikhathi, ngenkathi ngidlala i-baseball esikoleni esiphakeme, imbiza yangishaya ezimbanjeni nge-fastball. Ngabe sengizwa omunye wabaqeqeshi bami ememeza, “Ungayikhuhli!” Kalula nje, siqeqeshwe ngokwazi nangokuqonda okungaphansi ukukhombisa ingaphandle elinzima elingeke ligobeke noma liphule izimo eziphambi kwethu.
Lokhu kungaba yinkinga emshadweni. Yonke imishado izoba nezikhathi ezinzima. Akekho othola ukudlula mahhala. Cabanga ngakho: umuntu oyedwa yedwa uzohlangana nezehlakalo ezingezinhle nezimo empilweni yabo; cabanga ukuthi kwenzekani lapho abantu ababili behlangana futhi bechitha izimpilo zabo ndawonye. Uma owesilisa engakwazi ukuyeka ukuqapha kwakhe futhi akhulume nemizwa yakhe yangempela ngezehlakalo ahlangabezana nazo, noma ngabe unakekela kanjani umlingani wabo, abanathemba lokuthola usizo. Kwenza umshado uhambo olude nolunesizungu kubo bobabili abathintekayo.
Amadoda awazange akhiphe ngokuphelele lokhu kungabi sengozini, noma kunjalo. Abesifazane bangavalwa ngendlela efanayo. Impilo inendlela yokwenza lukhuni imizwa yakho, futhi nabesifazane abalibalekeli leli qiniso. Kungenzeka ukuthi boniwe ebudlelwaneni obudlule. Kungenzeka ukuthi kwakukubi kakhulu ukuthi benqaba ukuvumela umuntu asondele kakhulu ngoba ingozi yokulimala izwa kakhulu kakhulu. Lokhu kubenza ukuthi bagcine umlingani wabo ekude, kunikeze amazwibela alokho okubenza bazizwe bephila noma okubaphatha kabi kakhulu.
Akunandaba nobulili bakho, udinga ukuthi wazi izindonga ozimisayo eduze kwakho. Uma uzoshada nomuntu, futhi umthande ngakho konke onakho, lezo zindonga zidinga ukwehliswa. Nobabili nidinga ukuvumela omunye nomunye angene, ngoba nizoba uhlelo lokusekelana olukhulu lomunye nomunye impilo yenu yonke. Ukuhambisana nenguqulo yangempela yozakwenu kuyindlela engcono yokuxhasa izidingo zabo nokusiza ukulwa nokwesaba kwabo.
Isikhala esiphephile
Ukuba sengozini kunzima, kepha ukwenza kanjalo endaweni ephephile kwenza kube lula kakhulu. Kungakho abantu abaningi bekhetha ukufuna usizo lomeluleki noma wezokwelapha ezikhathini ezinzima. Bayazi ukuthi, noma ngabe yikuphi ukuqonda noma iseluleko esinikeziwe, kuyindawo ephephile yokwabelana ngendlela abazizwa ngayo ngokweqiniso.
Lapho uzama ukufaka umshado wakho ngobungozi nokuvuleleka, qala ngokwakha indawo ephephile edingekayo ukuze wabelane ngokukhululekile. Hlala phansi noshade naye ubazise ukuthi noma yini abayabelana ngayo ngeke ihlangabezane nokwahlulelwa futhi okuphambene nalokho.Le ngxoxo yokuqala yesikhala sengxoxo esiphephile futhi esingahluleli izonivumela nobabili ukuba nisondelane ngokwengeziwe ngokomzwelo. Ukusungula lokhu kuyisisekelo sezingxoxo ezijulile nezizwakalayo njengoba iminyaka idlula.
Qala ngezihloko ezilula
Lapho nje indawo ephephile yengxoxo isunguliwe futhi ungazizwa usengozini enkulu, wena nomlingani wakho nizizwa kunesidingo sokuvula amasango ezikhukhula futhi nidedele yonke imizwa yenu ithululeke; kokubili okuhle nokubi. Thatha kancane. Qala ngezihloko ezinjengezifiso zakho nokuthi yini ekwenza uzizwe uphila. Musa ukugxumela ngqo ezimfihlo ezijulile nezimnyama. Sebenzisa lezi zihloko ezilula njengendlela enhle yokuthola unyawo lwakho ezingxoxweni ezisondelene kakhulu onazo nomlingani wakho.
Bese ubuza imibuzo enzima
Manje njengoba ususungule ukwethembana nokuvikeleka okudingekayo ukuze nivulelane iqiniso, qala ukubuza imibuzo obulokhu wesaba ukuyikhuphula. Ungenzi sengathi uyintatheli ephenyayo, uzama ukubuyisela oshade naye ekhoneni ngomugqa wakho wokubuza. Lokho kwehlula ngokuphelele inhloso yalezi zingxoxo ezijulile.
Uma kunemfihlo yomndeni ejulile, babuze ngayo ngendlela enobuhlakani. Uma kunengxenye yesikhathi esidlule ababonakala bengakhulumi ngayo, bazise ukuthi ungathanda ukuzwa ngayo uma befuna ukuyixoxa.
Musa ukubacindezela noma ukubabhebhezela, vele ubazise ukuthi kuyinto othanda ukwazi ngayo. Ekugcineni, njengoba nobabili nibuyisa izingqimba zobuntu benu beqiniso, bazokwabelana nani ngalokho abazimisele ukukwenza.
Ukusondelana ngokomzwelo kunzima ukuvela ezweni lapho iningi lethu lingafuni ukuvumela abanye abantu bangene. Emshadweni wakho, ukuba sengozini nokuvuleleka okudinga ukusondelana okungokomzwelo kuyisisekelo ongakhela phezu kwaso umshado oqinile nothando.
Yehlisa izindonga zakho. Zivule. Vumela umlingani wakho angene. Kuyindlela engcono kakhulu yokuthanda nokuthandwa.