-Delile
- Umthelela wokungathembeki ngokomzwelo
- Kungani ukungathembeki ngokomzwelo kudlange kangaka?
- Akukho 'ukukopela' ngoba akukho 'ucansi'
Ukungathembeki kungumqondo olula impela. Othile wenza isinqumo sokuphuma ngaphandle kobuhlobo babo obuyinhloko. Ukungathembeki ngokomzwelo akusho ukusikwa okucacile ngoba lokho kweqa akusebenzi nje ebudlelwaneni phakathi kwabantu. Hhayi lokho kuphela, kepha kwesinye isikhathi ukungathembeki ngokomzwelo akubukeki njengokuphambuka nakancane.
Umqondo wokungathembeki ngokomzwelo ungasebenza ebudlelwaneni be-platon - kungaba ubulili obufanayo noma ubulili obuhlukile — kanye nemisebenzi, umsebenzi, ama-ex, izingane zakini, umndeni owandisiwe, izinto zokuzilibazisa ngisho nezingane. Kunomkhakha ophelele wabashadile e-East Coast abazibiza nge-Wall Street Widows noma i-Widowers. Leso yisibonelo sokungathembeki ngokomzwelo okungafani nabanye.
Umthelela wokungathembeki ngokomzwelo
Ukungathembeki ngokomzwelo kunoma yisiphi isimo lapho izinga elithile lokungatholakali ngokomzwelo kozakwethu oyedwa liphazamisa ukukhulisa isici esithile sobudlelwano bokuqala. Leli banga elingokomzwelo livimbela umlingani ekubeni khona. Kubuye kuthinte nezinga lobudlelwano bebonke.
Ngokusobala, indlela esobala kakhulu yokungathembeki ngokomzwelo ibandakanya omunye umuntu. Noma ngabe useduze, noma ukude, lowo muntu ushukumisela noma azinikele ebudlelwaneni bezocansi mbumbulu noma mbumbulu ngokocansi nomunye umuntu. Ngokuyisisekelo, kungukuchobozwa okuphindiswayo, kepha hhayi okwenziwe ngakho.
Kungani ukungathembeki ngokomzwelo kudlange kangaka?
Izinto ezimbalwa ziyiqiniso: okokuqala, ukuvela kokuxhumana kanye nokukwazi ukuxhumana nanoma ngubani nje, noma yikuphi lapho kukhuphule khona kakhulu ithuba lokungathembeki ngokomzwelo phakathi kwabantu. Okwesibili, ubunjalo bomuntu bunjalo okuthi, uma buyekwe bungalawulwa futhi uma bunikezwa ithuba, leli thuba, kungenzeka, lisetshenziswe.
Okunye futhi okufanele kubhekwe ngumqondo wonke wokushoda, noma, ukwenza ibinzana, 'ukungabikho kwenza inhliziyo ikhule ithanda'. Endabeni yokungathembeki ngokomzwelo phakathi kwabantu, kufana nokuthi, 'ukungabi bikho kudala indaba ethandwayo, yothando inhliziyo ethengayo'. Ukuqina kokuxhumana nge-elekthronikhi kuqinisa lolu hlobo lobudlelwano futhi kuthuthukisa nokuhlanekezela kwabo. Ngokudabukisayo, ngenkathi ukungabikho kothandi kukhulisa isifiso, ukuhlala kwesithandwa-kude-kude kuguqula lowo muntu abe yisidakamizwa.
Ngakho-ke, kunezindlela — ukugcwala kwekhono lokuxhumana — nethuba, eliqhutshwa, ngokwengxenye, yilokho kukhulu kokuxhumana.
Ngaphandle kwesisusa esisobala umuntu angaba naso sokuphuma ngaphandle kobuhlobo bakhe obuyinhloko, kunezinto ezintathu ezibonakala zigxile ekungathembekini ngokomzwelo:
- Uvalo
- Ukuphepha
- Ibhalansi abalishayayo komunye nomunye
Ukwesaba wukwesaba ukungafuni ukubanjwa 'wenza okuthile' okukhoselwe ekukhohlisweni kokuphepha okwenziwe ngokusobala ukuthi 'akungenzi lutho' ngempela.
Beka ngokwaleli bhalansi, ukungathembeki ngokomzwelo kunengqondo ngokuphelele. Akunasongo sokubanjwa nomuntu osebenza naye, umzanyana noma usonkontileka, ngokungafani nobudlelwano bezocansi obungemthetho. Ngaphezu kwalokho, amathuba okuxhumana nomuntu ohlangane naye ku-inthanethi ngemuva kokusebenzelana nowakwakho, izingane, umsebenzi kanye nemisebenzi yasekhaya nayo icishe inganakwa. Ngakho-ke, ubudlelwano be-cyber buhlala buvalelwe esibophweni esingokomzwelo futhi akukho okunye.
Uma ufinyelela ngqo kuyo futhi ngaphandle kwanoma ikuphi ukucabanga, ukungathembeki ngokomzwelo kuyisibonakaliso sesidingo noma isifiso sokungabikho ebuhlotsheni obuyinhloko bomuntu, ngenkathi ungashiyi empeleni. Lokho kuyindida kusenhliziyweni yalolu daba, futhi yilokho okuchaza ukungathembeki ngokomzwelo njengento engafani ncamashi nokuthi, kodwa okungenani okulingana nomphakathi, ukungathembeki ocansini.
Akukho 'ukukopela' ngoba akukho 'ucansi'
Esinye isici sezinto eziguquguqukayo eziyinkimbinkimbi ukuthi, kumlingani ongathembekile, awukho umqondo wangempela wokona ngoba, emqondweni wakhe, akukho okwenzekayo. Ukubeka ngokusobala, akukho 'ukukopela' ngoba abukho ubulili.
Ukungathembeki ngokomzwelo okungahambisani nobuntu kungenza — futhi kuvame ukwenzelwa njalo — kuthathwe njengokudingekayo: amahora amade, ukuphumula, ukuzivocavoca, njll. Uma kukhulunywa ngokungathembeki okungokomzwelo phakathi kwabantu, uhlobo olufanayo lokulinganisa lusetshenziswa.
Konke lokhu kushiya umlingani oyedwa esesimweni sokufuna ukwazi sokubhekana nayo yonke intukuthelo, ukulimala nokwenqatshwa okuhambisana nokuthandana, kuyilapho omunye emane ehlambalaza labo abazizwayo futhi angakutholi okuyinkinga enkulu. Ngemuva kwakho konke, siqeqeshiwe kusukela ebuncaneni ukuthi lapho silingisa, kunemiphumela. Iningi lethu liyakuqonda lokho, okuyindlela lapho wonke umuntu 'uma kukhona engikwenzayo, kepha ngingenzanga lutho, kuphi ukulimala futhi weqisa' ingxabano iyithola imilenze.
Ukungathembeki ngokomzwelo kuyakhishwa emiphumeleni yokwehluleka kokuziphatha ngasizathu sinye kungani sithatha izimpahla zamahhala ehhovisi. Lokho sikwenza ngoba akulimazi muntu. Kepha lokho akulishintshi leloqiniso lokuthi liyantshontsha. Ngokufanayo ukungathembeki ngokomzwelo noma kunjalo kungabonakala kepha kusakopela.