-Delile
- 1. Izabizwana ezibalulekile
- 2. Yiba khona
- 3. Qhubeka nokwazana
- 4. Chithani isikhathi ndawonye futhi niphume ekamelweni
- 5. Zinakekele
- 6. Hlanganyelani izinto zokuzilibazisa ndawonye
Ekuqaleni kobudlelwano bakho, amazinga othando luka-Eros aqinile. AmaGreki asendulo achaza u-Eros njengokuthatheka nokuheha okwabiwe phakathi kwabantu ababili. Sithola igama elithi 'inkanuko evela egameni elithi eros.
Le chemistry yokuqala ingahlala noma kuphi ukusuka enyangeni eyodwa kuya kokungapheli, kuya ngokuthi abashadikazi basebenza kangakanani ukugcina umlilo uphila. Kodwa-ke, uma kungasekho, kungenza izinto zingabi mnandi kangako.
Ngalesi sikhathi, umbhangqwana ungakhetha ukuhlukana uthandele ukuthola umuntu omusha ozocabanga ngaye. Kepha, ngabe lokhu kufanele kube yindlela okugcina ngayo? Nakanjani!
Imibhangqwana ingenza uthando lwayo luhlale impilo yonke uma izimisele ukubeka isikhathi, umzamo, nokuzibophezela ekubeni nabalingani babo.
Ngabe uthando lweqiniso luyafa? Akunjalo uma nina nobabili nizimisele ukufaka imizamo.
1. Izabizwana ezibalulekile
Ingabe niyizithandani “Thina” noma “Mina”?
Indlela imibhangqwana ebuqonda ngayo ubudlelwano babo inokuthile okuphathelene nokuthi uthando lwabo luzohlala yini. Ucwaningo olushicilelwe ngabakwaPsychol Aging luthole ukuthi izabizwana zomuntu uqobo zingaba nomthelela omkhulu ezingxabanweni zomshado.
Labo abasebenzise imishwana ethi "Thina" enjengokuthi "Sihlela iholide" noma "Sithanda indlu yethu kakhulu!" ngokungafani nokuthi "Ngiya eholidini nomyeni wami / unkosikazi wami" noma "Ngiyayithanda indlu yami" kube nokwanda kokuxhumana okuhle.
Ucwaningo luthi labo abanamagama athi "thina" babenokuziphatha okuhle futhi okungekuhle okungokomzwelo futhi bevusa imizwa yenhliziyo ephansi, kanti labo ababekhuluma ngabo kuphela babonisa imikhuba emibi yezemizwa futhi benokwaneliseka okuncane emshadweni.
Uthando lweqiniso lukhona lapho abalingani becabanga omunye nomunye njengeqembu futhi, ngasikhathi sinye, bangalahlekelwa yimizwa yabo uqobo enkambisweni ye-syciosis.
2. Yiba khona
Ucwaningo lwabantu abadala abangama-243 abashadile luthole ukuthi abalingani abachitha isikhathi esiningi kakhulu ezingcingweni zabo bagcina bengabanaki abalingani babo. Lokhu manje kubizwa ngokuthi "ukukhukhumeza." Ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi ukuphanga kuxhunyaniswe kakhulu nokwanda kokudangala kanye nokwehla kokwaneliseka emshadweni.
Ngokuzayo lapho nizama ukuxhumana njengabantu abashadile, xazululani inkinga, noma nikhulume nje ngosuku lwenu nindawonye, bonisa oshade naye ukuthi abanakekile ngokubeka ifoni yakho kude.
Ukuqubuka kungabonakala njengokuncane, kepha kunamandla okwenza uthando lweqiniso lufe, noma ngabe ubusondele kangakanani kumlingani wakho kanye.
3. Qhubeka nokwazana
Izibalo zikhomba ukuthi abantu abashadayo kungenzeka badivose ngemuva kweminyaka eyisishiyagalombili beshadile. Kungani kunjalo?
Njengoba kushiwo ekuqaleni, phakathi nezigaba zokuqala zobudlelwano obusha, uthando lusayina i-neurotransmitter ebizwa nge-dopamine, evuselela isikhungo senjabulo sobuchopho. Lokhu, kuhlanganiswe ne-serotonin, kukudonsela ekujuleni komuzwa wokuthatheka.
Kepha njengoba isikhathi siqhubeka, imiphumela ye-dopamine iqala ukuncipha. Lokhu kungadala isithukuthezi ebudlelwaneni.
Enye indlela ongagcina ngayo inhlansi iphila ebudlelwaneni bakho ukuqhubeka nokwazi oshade naye.
Izingcaphuno zikaSchwartz,
"Okwenza uthando luphile ukukwazi ukubona ukuthi awumazi ngempela umlingani wakho ngokuphelele futhi usafuna ukwazi futhi usaqhubeka nokuhlola."
Buza umlingani wakho imibuzo. Kungenzeka wake wazizwa izimpendulo phambilini, kodwa buza ngentshisekelo yangempela futhi umazi owakwakho futhi. Ungamangala nje ngalokho okufundayo.
4. Chithani isikhathi ndawonye futhi niphume ekamelweni
Ukuchitha isikhathi sekhwalithi nomlingani wakho kubaluleke kakhulu ekugcineni inhlansi iphila.
Imibhangqwana eminingi iyazuza ngokuba nobusuku obujwayelekile besikhathi. Lobu ubusuku obubodwa ngeviki (noma okungenani, kanye ngenyanga) lapho imibhangqwana ibeka khona umsebenzi futhi ibaleke ezinganeni ukuchitha isikhathi sekhwalithi esidingeka kakhulu ndawonye njengabalingani bezothando, hhayi nje abantu abahlala nabo noma “umama nobaba. ” Lapho kunezingane emshadweni, konke kugxile ezinganeni. Kukwenza uzibuze ngempela, ingabe uthando lweqiniso luyafa lapho izingane zingena esithombeni? Kungakwenza uma unganakile ngokwanele.
Ucwaningo olwenziwe ngezinzuzo zobusuku bobusuku lwathola ukuthi imibhangqwana eyayinobusuku obujwayelekile besikhathi samanje mancane amathuba okuthi ihlukanise. Baphinde bathola amazinga aphezulu othando oluvuthayo, injabulo, ukwaneliseka ngokocansi futhi bakhulisa namakhono abo okuxhumana.
Ucwaningo luqhakambise ukuthi imibhangqwana izuze kakhulu lapho izinsuku zayo zingaphezu "kwesidlo sakusihlwa ne-movie" ejwayelekile.
Ukuzama izinto ezintsha ndawonye bekuyindlela enkulu kunazo zonke imibhangqwana ehlala ijabule futhi ixhunyiwe.
Lokhu akugcini nje ngokuba nenqwaba yezinzuzo zezempilo ezinjengempilo yenhliziyo ethuthukisiwe, ukucindezeleka okuphansi, nokuphakama kwemizwelo, kepha ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi imibhangqwana exhumana ngezocansi inamazinga aphezulu okwaneliseka ngokocansi kanye nekhwalithi engcono yomshado.
5. Zinakekele
Lapho oshade naye ekubona, ufuna bazizwe benesifiso esivuthayo ngawe. Ufuna bazizwe behehwa kuwe ngaphakathi nangaphandle. Ngakho-ke, kufanele kungasho ukuthi uma ufuna ukugcina intshisekelo yomlingani wakho eminyakeni edlule, kufanele ugxile ekuzinakekeleni. Yenza izinto ezinjengezi:
- Gqokani lapho niphuma ndawonye
- Hambisana nokuzilungisa komuntu siqu
- Sebenzisa isiqedaphunga
- Bhekisisa inhlanzeko yomlomo
- Vocavoca umzimba njalo
Lezi yizisekelo zokunakekela ukubukeka kwakho, kepha ukuzinakekela kusho ukugxila empilweni yakho engokwengqondo nengokomzwelo, futhi.
Imibhangqwana ngokuqinisekile iyazuza lapho ichitha isikhathi sekhwalithi ndawonye, kepha isikhathi sodwa sibaluleke ngokulinganayo.
Uthando luphumelela kangcono lapho abantu beqonda ukubaluleka kokuba nesikhala sabo futhi, ngasikhathi sinye, basinikeze umlingani wabo.
Ukuchitha isikhathi ngokwehlukana ngezikhathi ezithile kuzosiza ekuqiniseni ukuzethemba kwakho. Sebenzisa lesi sikhathi ukwenza izinto ezizokujabulisa. Gxila kokuzilibazisa kwakho, ubungane, bese uphishekela izinkanuko zakho. Lezi zimfanelo ziyefana ezenze oshade naye akuthande lapho nihlangana okokuqala.
6. Hlanganyelani izinto zokuzilibazisa ndawonye
Ngokwe-Institute for Family Study, izizathu ezivame kakhulu zesehlukaniso ukungathembeki, ukuphuza noma ukusebenzisa izidakamizwa, ukwehlukana, nokungahambisani.
Enye indlela imibhangqwana engavimba ngayo ukwehlukana ngokuchitha isikhathi ndawonye ndawonye njalo. Hhayi ngobusuku bosuku kuphela, kepha ngokwabelana nokwakha izinto zokuzilibazisa ndawonye.
Ngabe uthando lweqiniso luzofa uma nithanda izinto ezifanayo futhi nithanda ukuchitha isikhathi ndawonye?
Hhayi-ke mancane amathuba okuthi!
Amaphephabhuku we-SAGE abela abalingani abashadile ngezikhathi ezithile ukuthi bahlanganyele emisebenzini ndawonye amahora angu-1.5 ngesonto amasonto ayishumi. Izenzo zachazwa njengezithandekayo noma ezijabulisayo. Imiphumela yabashadikazi abasebenza ndawonye nokuhlanganyela emisebenzini 'ethokozisayo' ikhombise ukwaneliseka okuphezulu emshadweni kunalabo ababenikezwe imisebenzi 'emnandi'.
Imiphumela icacile: imisebenzi okwabelwana ngayo ithuthukisa ukwaneliseka emshadweni.
Labo abafuna ukugcina inhlansi iphila emishadweni yabo bayakhuthazwa ukuba bahlole ukusondelana njalo. Lokhu kukhuliswa kwe-oxytocin masonto onke kuzokusiza wena noshade naye ukuthi nihlale nixhumene futhi nixhumane. Uthando lweqiniso luyafa lapho imibhangqwana ingasebenzisi isikhathi nomzamo enkambisweni yabo yokusondelana.
Ukuhlala ufuna ukwazi ngophathina wakho, ukuchitha isikhathi ndawonye, nokuzama izinto zokuzilibazisa ezintsha njengezithandani ezinye izindlela ezintathu ezinkulu zokugcina uthando lwenu luphila.