-Delile
- Uhlobo lokwesekwa olutholayo
- Kwenzekani lapho kunenkinga?
- Angakwazi ukuxolela futhi akhohlwe?
- Ukunikeza isikhala
- Ukuhlonipha izinto ezingcwele ebudlelwaneni bakho
Ngisho nangemva kweminyaka beshadile (noma ikakhulukazi ngemuva kweminyaka eminingi beshadile kwezinye izimo) amadoda avame ukuzindla ngenkinga yangaphakathi: “Ingabe uyangithanda NGEMPELA?” Yize ezweni elihle lokuthandana ungalokothi ungabaze uthando lomkakho, iqiniso ngezinto ukuthi ziningi izindlela lapho abashadikazi behlukana khona ngokomzwelo. Kwezinye izimo, bebengakaze babe semgwaqweni ofanayo, okokuqala.
Ngakho-ke, nazi izinto ezinhlanu okufanele uzicabangele uma ungaqinisekile ngothando lomkakho ngawe.
Uhlobo lokwesekwa olutholayo
Ukwesekwa umuntu akuthola kumlingani wakhe kubalulekile enhlalakahleni yomuntu. Ngaphandle kwesikhuthazo esivela kumkakho, zonke izithiyo zokuphila ezijwayelekile zingaba nzima ngokuphindwe kabili. Lokhu, empeleni, akuyona into esebenza kwabesilisa bodwa, abesilisa nabesifazane bayachuma lapho behlinzekwa ngokwanele kubalingani babo bempilo.
Kepha, kukhona into efana nokuxhaswa okwanele nokusekelwa okunganele. Lapho uzibuza ukuthi ngabe umkakho uyakuthanda ngempela yini, cabanga ngohlobo lwesikhuthazo akunikeza sona.
Ingabe kusuka enhliziyweni? Ngabe kuthembekile? Ngabe uhlala eceleni kwakho emphakathini, kepha futhi uyakwazisa ukuthi yini ongayithuthukisa lapho uwedwa? Lolu wuhlobo olufanele lokusekelwa olunikezwa yilabo abasithandayo - ukwethembeka kepha kuhlanganiswe nesifiso sangempela sokukhula kwethu.
Kwenzekani lapho kunenkinga?
Noma yini engase yenzeke phakathi kwabashadile nsuku zonke, kusesikhathini sezinhlekelele lapho kuvezwa imibala yangempela. Ungaluhluleli uthando lomkakho olususelwa eqinisweni lokuthi uhlala ecabanga ngokukhipha udoti. Noma ukuthi uhlehlise usuku lwakho lobusuku ukuze ayobona abangane bakhe. Lezi kungaba yizinto ezingafaka ukungabaza emqondweni wakho, kepha akukho okusho ukuthi uthando lwakhe alulona iqiniso.
Okufanele ugxile kukho yilokhu - uma uthumela i-SOS, kwenzekani? Into ukuthi, noma sonke sihlala sithatha kancane oshade nabo nsuku zonke, lapho kuvela inkinga, labo abathanda ngokweqiniso bazolahla konke ukuzicwilisa futhi bangene ukuze basize umlingani odingayo.
Ingabe umkakho ubeka eceleni konke, kufaka phakathi izingxabano zakho, lapho umdinga ngempela? Lokhu kuyisibonakaliso esiqinisekile sokuthi uyakuthanda ngempela.
Angakwazi ukuxolela futhi akhohlwe?
Ngokufanelekile, bekungeke kube khona okuthethelelayo. Kepha, iqiniso lezinto li - kukhona njalo. Yonke imishado iqoqa intukuthelo noma ezimbili endleleni. Ngeshwa, ezimweni eziningi, ikakhulukazi uma umbhangqwana ungalutholi usizo lochwepheshe, la magqubu aqhephuka ezisekelweni zobudlelwano. Uthando luyinto ebalulekile emshadweni ohlupheka ngaphansi kwengcindezi yomunyu.
Ngakho-ke, uma wenze iphutha kumkakho, ubhekana kanjani nakho? Uma wenze konke okusemandleni akho ukuthi wenze kuye, ngabe naye uyazama ukuzama ukukuxolela?
Umbuzo ofanayo kufanele ubuzwe uma kukhulunywa ngezinto ezinkulu nezincane. Ukuxolela akukuhle kuwe kuphela, nobudlelwano bakho, kepha futhi nokomkakho. Futhi, uma wenze ingxenye yakho ukulungisa, uthando lweqiniso luzoqondisa umkakho ukuthi akuthethelele.
Ukunikeza isikhala
Noma kungazwakala njengokuphikisana netad, uthando lweqiniso empeleni luhlonipha ubuntu bomunye nomunye. Iningi lethu, lapho licelwa ukuthi lithathe isithombe sombhangqwana ophelele, cabanga ngomlingani ongakaze ahlukane futhi ochitha sonke isikhathi sakhe ndawonye ekuhlekeni nasothandweni.
Yize isikhathi ndawonye sibaluleke kakhulu emibhangqwaneni, kukhona nohlangothi olumnyama lokukhathazeka ngokwehlukana ebudlelwaneni. Kuyisibonakaliso sokunamathela okungavikelekile, hhayi kothando lweqiniso.
Ebudlelwaneni obunempilo, imibhangqwana ikhula ndawonye, kodwa futhi njengabantu ngabanye. Ngakho-ke, lapho ungavikelekile ngohlobo lothando lomkakho, zibuze - ingabe ukuvumela ukuthi uhlale ungumuntu ohlukile? Ingabe uyazisekela futhi azikhuthaze izintshisekelo zakho kanye nezifiso zakho, noma zingamfaki? Ngabe ugubha impumelelo nawe noma ngabe kusho ukuthi bekufanele anikele ngesikhathi sakho naye?
Ukuhlonipha izinto ezingcwele ebudlelwaneni bakho
Kunemigqa ethile okungafanele yeqe ebudlelwaneni obubodwa, kungaba yothando noma eyebhizinisi. Akunandaba ukuthi umuntu oyedwa angalimala kangakanani, abe nesithukuthezi, adumale noma athukuthele kangakanani, kunendawo eyodwa abavunyelwe ukufaka ukungabi nandaba kwayo kuyo. Noma kungenjalo, umshado ungahle uchitheke. Kwemibhangqwana eminingi, ukungathembeki, ulaka, ukuluthwa, ukulimaza ngokuhlangenwe nakho okubuhlungu kokunye noma ukungazethembi.
Kunezimo lapho unkosikazi avele angakwazi ukuzwelana nomyeni wakhe, njengalapho ekhonanarcissist.
Futhi ama-narcissists, ngokwengxenye enkulu, nawo awanalo uthando lweqiniso. Noma kunjalo, kuzo zonke ezinye izimo, ukungayihloniphi le mikhawulo engcwele kusho ukuthi owesifazane uthanda ukuzithanda kwakhe ukwedlula umyeni wakhe.