Kuyini Okunamathiselwe Okungahlelekile Ebudlelwaneni?

-Delile

• Siyini isitayela sokunamathisela esingahlelekile ebudlelwaneni?
• Yini ebangela ukunamathiselwa okungahlelekile?
• Izimpawu zesitayela sokunamathisela esingahlelekile kahle ebudlelwaneni
• 1.Ukuguquguquka phakathi kokuthandana nokuthembela nokuba nehlanya ngokweqile ngophathina wabo
• 2. Babonakala benokwesaba
• 3. Ukubambelela umzuzwana owodwa nokude kokulandelayo
• 4. Ukukhombisa isimilo esididayo ebudlelwaneni
• 5. Ubunzima bokulawula imizwa
• 6. Ubuhlobo bokubhuqa
• 7. Umbono wezwe ongemuhle
• 8. Ukwesaba ukusondelana
• 9. Ukuhoxa ebudlelwaneni ngaphandle kwesixwayiso
• 10. Kubonakala ukukhathazeka njalo
• Isitayela Sokunamathiselwe Esingahlelekile
• Kungenzeka yini ukuvimbela isitayela sokunamathisela esingahlelekile?
• Okufanele ukwenze uma unesitayela sokunamathisela esingahlelekile
• Yini okufanele uyenze uma umlingani wakho enesitayela sokunamathisela esingahlelekile?
• Isiphetho

Izitayela zokunamathisela zibhekisela emaphethini abantu abawakhombisa lapho behlangana nabanye, njengabanakekeli nabanye ababalulekile. Ngenkathi okunamathiselwe okuphephile, okunempilo kulungile, izinkinga zokunamathisela kubantu abadala zingaholela kwisitayela sokunamathisela esingahlelekile ebuhlotsheni.

Lapha, funda impendulo yokuthi “Siyini isitayela sokunamathisela esingahlelekile?” kanye nolwazi maqondana nezimbangela nezimpawu zobuntu obungahlelekile.

Siyini isitayela sokunamathisela esingahlelekile ebudlelwaneni?

Ngenkathi izinkinga zokunamathisela kubantu abadala zingadlulela ebuhlotsheni nabanye abalulekile, iqiniso ukuthi liqala ebuntwaneni ngenxa yokuba ngumzali ongazange unikeze ingane umuzwa wokuphepha nokuphepha.

Lapho imiphumela yobuntwana iholela kwisitayela sokunamathisela esingahlelekile ebudlelwaneni babantu abadala, umuntu angaba nokwesaba nokukhathazeka ebudlelwaneni babo.

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, bafuna ukuxhumana nabanye abantu, kepha ngakolunye uhlangothi, bafuna ukuqinisekisa ukuthi bayaphila, ngakho-ke bangadudula abanye kude noma babe kude ebudlelwaneni obuseduze.

Kwesinye isikhathi, abantu abangahle babonakale bengalindelekile ngoba abanaso isitayela esifanayo sokuxhumana nabanye.

Izitayela eziningi zokunamathiselwe zifaka izindlela zokuziphatha ezingaguquguquki, okusho ukuthi umuntu okhombisa isitayela esithile sokunamathiselwe uzoba nokuziphatha okulindelekile. Ngokuphambene nalokho, isitayela sobuntu esingahlelekile sinendlela eyiphutha kakhulu yokuxhumana nabanye.

Yini ebangela ukunamathiselwa okungahlelekile?

Kucatshangwa ukuthi kwenzeka ngenxa yokuba ngumzali onganele noma onobungozi ngesikhathi sobuntwana, okugcina kuholele ezinkingeni zokunamathiselwa kwabantu abadala ngoba umuntu ufikelwa umuzwa wokuthi abanakuthembela ezibalweni zabo zokunamathisela ukuhlangabezana nezidingo zabo.

Ngokwesifundo esikwi-Universal Journal of Educational Research Study, ukuhlukumezeka kwengane kuhlotshaniswa nezinkinga zokunamathisela abantu abadala. Izinhlobo ezithile zokuhlukumezeka ezixhunyaniswe nezitayela zokunamathisela ezesabekayo, njengohlobo lobuntu olungahlelekile, bekungukuthi:

• Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba
• Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzwelo
• Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi
• Ukunganakwa ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo

Kuvela endaweni yokwesaba ezungeze ukuhlukumezeka njengokuhlukunyezwa noma ukunganakwa. Izingane zithembele ngokuphelele kubanakekeli bazo ukuhlangabezana nezidingo zazo, futhi umnakekeli kulindeleke ukuthi abe ngumuntu ophephile enganeni.

Lapho umuntu okufanele abhekele ingane agcina esehlukumeza, ingane iqala ukuzwa ukuthi ubudlelwano abuphephile. Kuvela ekungabikho kokuphepha ingane ezwayo, futhi ingaqhubekela ebudaleni.

Izimpawu zesitayela sokunamathisela esingahlelekile kahle ebudlelwaneni

Ngeshwa, ithiyori yokunamathisela engahlelekile ithi isitayela sokunamathisela esenziwe ebuntwaneni silandela abantu babe ngabantu abadala futhi singathinta ubudlelwane babo. Ucwaningo lwe-Neuroscience luyayisekela le mpikiswano.

Eqinisweni, ucwaningo lwango-2016 ku-Behavioral Brain Research lulandele abantu iminyaka eminingi futhi lwathola ukuthi labo abangahlelile izindlela zokunamathisela ezinyangeni eziyi-18 ubudala babenemiqulu emikhulu e-amygdala, indawo yobuchopho eqhuba ukwesaba nemizwa, ngesikhathi sokukhula.

Lokhu kutholwa kugqamisa ukuthi okuhlangenwe nakho kobuntwana kungabaluleka kanjani, ikakhulukazi kulabo abaqhubeka nokukhulisa izinkinga zokunamathiselwa kwabantu abadala.

Njengoba izindlela zokunamathisela ebuntwaneni zixhunyaniswa nokusebenza kwabantu abadala, abantu abadala abanezinhlobo zobuntu ezingahlelekile kahle bangakhombisa lezi zimpawu ezilandelayo ebuhlotsheni babo:

1.Ukuguquguquka phakathi kokuthandana nokuthembela nokuba nehlanya ngokweqile ngophathina wabo

Akuyona into engavamile ngomuntu onenkinga ukuthembela kumlingani wakhe ngesikhathi esisodwa bese ngokuzumayo ashintshele ekubeni ophatheke kabi, othukuthele, futhi angathembi nakancane nje uphawu lwenkinga.

Isibonelo, uma umlingani ematasa nomsebenzi futhi ephuthelwa ucingo, umuntu onephethini lokunamathisela elingakuhlelekile angabuza umlingani wakhe futhi asole umlingani ngokungathembeki noma ngokugwema ngenhloso ucingo.

Isizathu esenza lokhu ukuthi umuntu owathola ukunamathela okungakahlelwanga ebuntwaneni esemncane ufunde ukuqaphela ikakhulukazi noma yiziphi izimpawu zokulahlwa noma ingozi ngoba bebengathembi abantu abadala ukuthi bahlangabezane nezidingo zabo.

2. Babonakala benokwesaba

Umuntu omdala onobuntu obungahlelekile angahle abonakale sengathi akabuthokozeli ubudlelwano babo ngoba uhlala esaba ukulinyazwa.

Bangase bahlasele umlingani nganoma yisiphi isikhathi lapho besaba ukuthi bazolinyazwa ngoba sebekholelwa ukuthi akunakugwenywa ukuthi bazokwehliswa noma banqatshwe abantu ababalulekile ezimpilweni zabo.

3. Ukubambelela umzuzwana owodwa nokude kokulandelayo

Ngenxa yokwesaba ukuphatheka kabi, umuntu onobuntu obungahlelekile anganamathela kakhulu umzuzu owodwa ukugcina umlingani wakhe esondele, kepha bese eba kude ngomzuzu olandelayo ngoba esaba ukusondelana futhi ekhathazeka ngokuthi uma enamathela kakhulu, umlingani wakhe anganamathela ubalimaze.

4. Ukukhombisa isimilo esididayo ebudlelwaneni

Njengoba umuntu onamaphethini anjalo engenayo iphethini engaguquguquki yokuxhumana nabanye, bangahle badide umlingani wabo kwesinye isikhathi ngokukhombisa ukuziphatha "okushisayo nokubandayo".

Bangaziphatha ngendlela enenzondo kumlingani wabo umzuzu owodwa bese kuthi ngomzuzu olandelayo bancenge umlingani wabo ukuthi angabashiyi.

5. Ubunzima bokulawula imizwa

Khumbula ukuthi i-amygdala inesibopho sokucubungula ukwesaba, futhi lapho othile enale nkinga, kungenzeka abe ne-amygdala ekhulisiwe.

Lokhu kusho ukuthi bangasebenza ngokweqile ngokomzwelo futhi babe nobunzima bokulawula imizwa yabo.

6. Ubuhlobo bokubhuqa

Lapho kunezinkinga zokunamathiselwa kubantu abadala, ikakhulukazi ubuntu obungahlelekile, abantu bangalimaza ubudlelwane babo.

Umuntu omdala uzokholelwa ukuthi ubudlelwano buzokwehluleka noma kanjani, ngakho-ke baqala ukwenza izinto ngezindlela ezingacindezela umlingani wabo kude, okuholela ekuphelelweni kobuhlobo.

Bheka le vidiyo lapho uRaquel Peel exoxa khona ukuthi izindlela ezithile zokuziphatha zingabonakalisa kanjani ubuhlobo:

7. Umbono wezwe ongemuhle

Esinye isibonelo sokunamathiselwa esingahlelekile ukuthambekela ekubeni nesimo esibi.

Lokhu kusho ukuthi umuntu omdala onokuziphatha okunamathiselwe kokuhleleka uzobheka abanye kabi futhi alindele ukuthi babe namaphutha amabi futhi bangathembeki.

Bangakholelwa ukuthi abanye abantu banenhloso ngamabomu kanti empeleni, benze iphutha eliqotho.

8. Ukwesaba ukusondelana

Kuza nokwesaba ukusondelana, okusho ukuthi labo abanale ndlela yokuxhumana bangazigcina bakude futhi banqikaze ukungena ebudlelwaneni obuseduze.

9. Ukuhoxa ebudlelwaneni ngaphandle kwesixwayiso

Ebudlelwaneni, ubuntu obungahlelekile bungabonakala bujabulile futhi buhlanganyele umzuzwana owodwa, bese kuthi ngaphandle kwesixwayiso, bahoxe futhi bahambe "belahlekile ezenzweni" ngaphandle kwesizathu, bashiye abangane babo noma abanye ababalulekile bezibuza ukuthi konakelephi.

10. Kubonakala ukukhathazeka njalo

Njengoba kungaholela umuntu ukuthi akholelwe ukuthi abanye abanakwethenjwa, bangahlala bekhathazekile ngesimo sobudlelwano.

Bangase bahlale bebuza ukuthi umlingani wabo ujabule yini futhi bakhathazeke ngokuthi ingxabano encane izoholela ekuhlukaneni kobudlelwano.

Isitayela Sokunamathiselwe Esingahlelekile

Kwesinye isikhathi, kungahle kube nokudideka phakathi kwesitayela sokunamathisela esingahlelekile.

Ukuqonda umehluko phakathi kwalokhu okubili, kuyasiza ukuqala ufunde ngezitayela ezahlukahlukene zokunamathisela, okulandelayo:

• Kuphephile: Abantu abadala abanalesi sitayela sokunamathisela bakhululekile ukusondela kwabanye.

• Ukukhathazeka: Laba bantu abadala bakhathazeke ngokweqile ngokusondelana nabanye ngenxa yokwesaba ukuthi abantu bazobashiya.

• Ukugwema: Umuntu onesitayela sokunamathisela esivikelayo akakhululekile ngokusondelana futhi angahle aziqhelelanise nabanye.

Okubeka lesi sitayela ngaphandle kwesitayela sokunamathisela okukhathazayo ukuthi ubuntu obungahlelekile abusethanga iphethini yokunamathiselwa.

Ngenkathi umuntu onamathele ngokukhathazeka ezohlala ekhombisa ukukhathazeka okuzungeze okunamathiselwe kwabo kwabanye, inkinga ingahle ivele phakathi kokukhathazeka nokugwema noma ingakhombisi iphethini ebonakalayo yokuziphatha kokunamathiselwe.

Kwezinye izimo, kungabizwa ngokuthi iphethini lokunamathisela elingahlelekile elingahlelekile.

Ngokusho kukaMary Ainsworth, isazi esiphambili senkolelo yokunamathisela, izingane ezinenkinga yokunamathisela zingabonakala zididekile lapho kukhona okunamathiselwe, njengokuzulazula, ukukhombisa ukudideka nokubanda.

Futhi Zama: Okunamathiselwe isitayela Quiz

Kungenzeka yini ukuvimbela isitayela sokunamathisela esingahlelekile?

Umbono wokunamathiselwe uthi izitayela zokunamathisela ziyakhiwa ebuntwaneni, ngokususelwa ekusebenzisaneni kwengane nabanakekeli abayinhloko.

Lokhu kusho ukuthi ukuvimbela inkinga, abazali kumele bakhombise izindlela zokuziphatha ezinakekelayo, ezinempilo. Kungavinjelwa, kepha abazali abanezinkinga zabo zokunamathiselwe kumele babhekane nalezi zinkinga.

Njengoba abazali abanezinkinga zokunamathisela noma amakhono amabi okuba umzali kungenzeka ukuthi baphindaphinde imijikelezo evela emindenini yabo yemvelaphi, bazodinga amakilasi okukhulisa izingane noma ukwelashwa ukuze bafunde izindlela ezinempilo zokuba ngumzali.

Lesi sitayela sokunamathisela singavinjelwa futhi ngokuxhasa abazali abanezinkinga zabo zezempilo yengqondo noma engokomzwelo. Futhi, ukwelashwa kungabasiza ukubhekana nalezi zinkinga futhi bathuthukise ukuba kwabo ngabazali.

Ekugcineni, kungavinjelwa ngokungenelela ezimeni zokuhlukunyezwa nokunganakwa kwezingane. Njengoba ukuhlukunyezwa nokunganakwa kungaba yinto ehlukumezayo futhi kuholele kwisitayela esinjalo, kubalulekile ukuthi imindeni ithole izinsiza zokuyeka lokhu kuziphatha futhi igcine izingane ziphephile.

Umbiko wocwaningo ku-Child Abuse & Neglect ubuyekeze imiphumela yokungenelela okuhlose ukunciphisa ukuhlukumezeka kwengane, njengokulashwa kwabazali nengane, imfundo yabazali, kanye nokwelashwa kokuziphatha komndeni.

Bathola ukuthi lezi zingenelelo zinganciphisa izinkinga zokuziphatha kwezingane, zivimbele ukuhlukunyezwa nokunganakwa esikhathini esizayo, kwehlise ukwanda kokunamathiselwe okungakuhlelekile, futhi kuthuthukise ubudlelwane phakathi komzali nengane.

Ngokufingqa, impendulo ukuthi ngokungenelela kwangaphambi kwesikhathi okusekela ukubopha okunempilo komzali nengane, kungenzeka ukuvimbela isitayela sokunamathisela esingahlelekile.

Okufanele ukwenze uma unesitayela sokunamathisela esingahlelekile

Ngenkathi kungavinjelwa, abanye abantu bangafika ebudaleni benobuntu obungahlelekile obusunguliwe. Ngenhlanhla, kunezindlela zokunqoba ukuhlukumezeka kwengane nokunciphisa imiphumela yokunamathiselwa okungakahlelwanga ebudlelwaneni.

Ukwelashwa kuyithuluzi elilodwa eliwusizo lokukunqoba, futhi kutholakale ukuthi kuyasebenza ekuthuthukiseni isimilo sokunamathisela okuphephile nokunciphisa isimilo sokunamathisela okukhathazayo.

Ekwelashweni, ukwelashwa okunamathiselwe okungahlelekile kungabandakanya ukuxoxa ngokuhlangenwe nakho kobuntwana okunikele ezinkingeni zokunamathiselwa kwabantu abadala, ukufunda ukuthi ukuhlukumezeka kwangaphambilini kuthinte kanjani ukunamathela kwabanye nokwakha amasu okunqoba ukwesaba okuzungeze ubudlelwano obuseduze.

Abanye abantu bangahlomula ngokwelulekwa yizithandani ukuze basebenze ngale ndlela yokunamathisela ebudlelwaneni.

Umelaphi angawasiza womabili amalungu obudlelwano ukuthi aveze ukukhathazeka kwabo endaweni engathathi hlangothi futhi abasize baqonde ukuthi izitayela zokunamathisela zibuthonya kanjani ubudlelwano babo.

Ngaphandle kokungenela kochwepheshe, uma uqaphela ukuthi ukhombisa izimpawu zesitayela sokunamathisela esingahlelekile, njengokwesaba ukusondelana, ukuzithemba ngokweqile nokungathembi, nokushintshashintsha kokujabula nokuhoxa kumlingani wakho, ungacabanga ukwenza okulandelayo:

• Yazi ukuthi ukwesaba kwakho kungenzeka ukuthi kubangelwa izingqinamba zobuntwana futhi kungenzeka kungasuselwa kusongo langempela oluvela kumlingani wakho.

• Cabanga ngokunikeza umlingani wakho inzuzo yokungabaza lapho uqala ukubuza ngokuziphatha kwabo esikhundleni sokucabanga ukuthi abakuthembi noma bazama ukukulimaza.

• Lapho uzwa isifiso sokuhoxa kumlingani wakho, zama ukwelula isandla bese ubachazela ngomoya ophansi ukwesaba kwakho.

• Zama ukubona izimbangela zakho zokuklabalasa kumlingani wakho noma ukuqhuma ngokomzwelo, bese wenza amasu amasha wokubhekana nesimo.

• Funda ukubheka ezinye izincazelo ngokuziphatha komlingani wakho. Ngale nkinga, ungahle ube nombono ongemuhle.

Ngakho-ke, uzobona isimilo esingaba yingozi, njengokuthi umlingani wakho ulahlekelwe ucingo, njengesibonakaliso sokwenza okungalungile. Esikhundleni salokho, cabanga ngezinye izincazelo, njengokuthi umlingani wakho ulahlekelwe ucingo ngenxa yokushayela emgwaqeni noma emhlanganweni emsebenzini.

Yini okufanele uyenze uma umlingani wakho enesitayela sokunamathisela esingahlelekile?

Mhlawumbe akuwena onale nkinga, futhi ngumlingani wakho onenkinga. Uma ubona ezinye zezimpawu zobuntu obungahlelekile kumlingani wakho, ungacabanga ngala macebiso alandelayo:

• Zama ukuqonda, futhi uqaphele ukuthi isimilo somlingani wakho sivela endaweni yokwesaba nobuhlungu, futhi abahlosile ukulimaza.
• Sekela futhi uzimisele ukulalela uma umlingani wakho efuna ukuxoxa ngezinto abazesabayo nawe.
• Yazi ukuthi lapho umlingani wakho ekhombisa isimilo se-paranoid futhi ekhathazeka ngokuthi kungenzeka ukuthi wenza okuthile ukubalimaza, imizwa yabo ingokoqobo impela, noma ngabe kubonakala kungenangqondo kuwe.
• Yiba nesineke ngokwakha ukwethembana; umlingani wakho ufunde ekuqaleni kwempilo ukuthi abakwazi ukwethemba abantu okufanele babathande, ngakho-ke kuzothatha isikhathi nokungaguquguquki ukwakha ubudlelwano bokuthembana.
• Uma izinkinga zokunamathiselwa komlingani wakho ziqhubeka futhi ziba yinkinga kangangoba kunzima ukugcina ubudlelwane nokusebenza kwezinye izingxenye zempilo, njengasemsebenzini noma ebudlelwaneni namanye amalungu omndeni, ungabakhuthaza ukuthi bafune ukwelulekwa ngokomqondo futhi banikele ngokuya ekwelashweni nabo ukuze ufunde ukuthi ungabasekela kanjani.

Isiphetho

Isitayela sokunamathisela esingahlelekile singenza kube nzima ngomuntu ukuthi athembe abanye futhi akhe ubudlelwano obusondelene obunempilo, noma ngabe efuna ukuzwa uthando nokuzibophezela.

Njengoba ubuntu obungahlelekile buvame ukuba nezimpande ebuntwaneni, ukunqoba izinkinga zokunamathiselwa kubantu abadala kudinga ukuthi umuntu ashintshe indlela yakhe yokucabanga nokuziphatha.

Uma wena noma umlingani wakho unale ndlela yokunamathisela, kungenzeka ukuthi kukhona ukwesaba nokukhathazeka ebudlelwaneni bakho, ngoba umuntu onale ndlela yokunamathisela uyabaphazamisa abanye futhi wesaba ukushiywa.

Uma le ndlela yokunamathisela ingena ebudlelwaneni obunempilo, kungaba yisikhathi sokufuna ukwelashwa ukuze ufunde izindlela ezinempilo zokuxhumana ebudlelwaneni.