-Delile
- 1. “Dlula kukho”
- 2. “Ngiyazi kahle indlela ozizwa ngayo”
- 3. “Ungathukutheli kangaka”
- 4. “Yishiyele kimi.”
Ukuze umshado ube nethuba lokulwa lapho ilungu elilodwa lihlushwa ukucindezeleka, kubalulekile ukuthi oshade naye aqonde ukuthi athini nokuthi yini angayisho ukuze axhase umlingani wakhe ngesikhathi esibuhlungu kakhulu empilweni yabo.
Ngokuvamile kunzima ukwazi ukuthi uthini kumlingani ocindezelekile. Okubaluleke njengalokho esikushoyo yilokho esingakusho kumuntu ocindezelekile. Ngenkathi lolu hlu olulandelayo lungasebenza kunoma yikuphi ubulili, nginqume ukudala le ndatshana ngabesilisa ikakhulukazi engqondweni, ngoba kuvame ukwehluka ekutheni ukucindezeleka kubonakala kanjani kwabesilisa nabesifazane.
Ngokwengeziwe, abesilisa bangazwela kakhulu ekuphenduleni naselebula elithile, ngenxa yemiyalezo ethunyelwa yisiko lethu kusukela ebuncaneni. Batshelwa ukuthi kulungile ukuzizwa uthukuthele, kodwa hhayi ukudabuka noma ukwesaba, ngokwesibonelo, ngakho-ke kuba nzima kakhulu ukuthi amadoda abone futhi axoxe ngale mizwa.
Ngenxa yalomehluko nokunye, ngidale okulandelayo kulabo abalingani babo abangamadoda abaphethwe yingcindezi.
Izinto ongazisho umlingani wakho wesilisa ocindezelekile (noma omunye umuntu onenkinga yokudangala):
1. “Dlula kukho”
Uma ubulokhu ufunda ngokudangala kungenzeka wake wakuzwa lokhu phambilini, futhi kuyinto embi ukusho kunoma ngubani ophatheke kabi, ngoba kumane nje kubakhuthaza ukuthi bangcwabe imizwa yabo, okwenza inkinga ibe yimbi kakhulu. Abesilisa bangazwela kakhulu kulokhu ngezindlela ezithile kusukela umphakathi ubathumela imiyalezo besebancane ukuthi imizwa ethile ibenza bangabi yindoda.
Abesilisa bavame ukuzizwa benamahloni ngemizwa yabo yokudangala, bakhathazeke ngokuthi kusho ukuthi babuthakathaka noma ngandlela thile bayantula, futhi ukubatshela ukuthi badlule kukho kumane kwenza ukucindezeleka kube kubi kakhulu.
Uma benziwa ukuba bazizwe benamahloni ngokwengeziwe, bangaqala ukwenza sengathi abazizwa bedangele .. Lokhu empeleni kungabashiya bezizwa bebodwa ngokwedlulele njengoba bengasaphephile ukuhlanganyela indlela abazizwa ngayo.
Kunezindlela eziningi kakhulu zokubatshela ukuthi “badlule kukho” kufaka phakathi “ukubheka ohlangothini olukhanyayo,” “ungahlali kukho,” nanoma yini enye esho ukuthi kufanele bazizwe behlukile kunabo.
Kujwayelekile ukuthi ufune ukuthi umlingani wakho angadangali ngoba kwenza impilo ibe nzima kini nobabili. Kodwa-ke, indlela yokubasiza HHAYI ukubatshela ukuthi kufanele bazizwe kanjani kepha ukuba ngabalingani babo empini yabo nokudangala.
Kunzima kozakwethu abaningi ukukholwa ukuthi kuyasiza kaningi ukuhlala, ulalele, mhlawumbe uthule. Bangazizwa bengenzi lutho ngoba abasho lutho. Kodwa-ke, kusiko eligcizelela ukwenza ngaphezu kokuba khona, ukulalela buthule kungaba isipho esiyigugu ngokumangazayo.
2. “Ngiyazi kahle indlela ozizwa ngayo”
Lokhu kuzwakala sengathi kungasiza, kepha empeleni, asazi ukuthi omunye umuntu uzizwa kanjani, ngakho-ke lesi sitatimende singenza umlaleli azizwe engaqondakali kangako.
Ukuthatha sengathi wazi kahle ukuthi omunye umuntu uzizwa kanjani akushiyeli ithuba lokuthi bakhulume ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwabo. Kuyindlela yokumisa izingxoxo engenza umuntu ocindezelekile azizwe enesizungu kakhulu kunokuncane.
Kuyinkohliso ejwayelekile yokuthi abantu abahluphekayo badinga ukuthi uzizwe kahle ngendlela abazizwa ngayo.
Yize bengazwakalisa isifiso salokhu, akudingekile ukuze kube usizo. Kumele ukhombise kuphela ukuthi unentshisekelo futhi uzimisele ukulalela. Kuleyo nqubo, ungaFunda ukuthi bazizwa kanjani, ngaleyo ndlela ukhule uxhumeke kakhudlwana komunye nomunye, okumayelana nento enhle kakhulu emhlabeni kumlingani wakho ocindezelekile.
3. “Ungathukutheli kangaka”
Uphawu oluvame kakhulu uma kungenjalo uphawu lokudangala ukucasuka noma intukuthelo. Izimpande zokudangala zilele ekubekweni kwentukuthelo ngokungafanele, ngakho-ke kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi umuntu ocindezelekile anikezwe isikhala sokuzizwa ethukuthele.
Okuxakayo-ke ukuthi, uma bephephe kakhulu ukuzizwa bethukuthele, kulapho beyocindezeleka kancane. Lo ngumqondo oyindida ongaqondakali kalula, kepha iphuzu eliyinhloko kwabashadile ukuqinisekisa ukuthi abayithumeli imiyalezo yokuthi banephutha ngokuzwa noma yini, ikakhulukazi ulaka.
Lokhu AKUSHO ukuthi kulungile ukuveza lolu laka nganoma iyiphi indlela abayithandayo. Kunezindlela ezakhayo nezilimazayo zokukuveza.
Ukuhlasela noma ukushaya, noma ukuveza intukuthelo nganoma iyiphi indlela esabisa umzimba AKULUNGILE futhi kubalulekile ukubeka imingcele kunoma yikuphi ukuziphatha okunjalo. Awuphoqelekile ukubekezelela noma yikuphi kwalokhu kuziphatha, futhi kubaluleke kakhulu ukwehlukanisa imizwa ekuziphatheni.
Indlela eyakhayo yokuyiveza kungaba ukukhuluma ngokuthi bazizwa kanjani noma bafaka kanjani umsebenzi okhiqizayo.
Ukuthi, “Ngizizwa ngithukuthele kakhulu njengamanje,” kungakha kakhulu. Ukwenza isikhala sentukuthelo kungaholela ezingxoxweni ezijulile lapho ungathola khona imizwa engcwatshwe ngaphansi kwentukuthelo.
Ngale ndlela, le nto isebenza kakhulu kwabesifazane, njengoba abesifazane emphakathini wethu bevame ukufundiswa ukuthi akulungile ukuthukuthela, ngakho-ke madoda, kumele nibe ngummeli wabesifazane abasempilweni yenu ukuze bavunyelwe ukuzizwa bethukuthele kanjalo.
4. “Yishiyele kimi.”
Kubaluleke kakhulu ukukhumbula ukuthi akuwona umthwalo wakho ukwelapha ukucindezeleka komlingani wakho. Lokhu kungaholela kokuningi okungenampilo, kwesinye isikhathi okubizwa ngokuthi yi-codependent, dynamics. Akukona nje kuphela ukuthatha umthwalo wokucindezeleka komlingani wakho kusethelwe ukwehluleka, kodwa futhi kusethelwe ukuthi uzizwe ubacasukela lapho ekugcineni kungasebenzi.
Ngokwengeziwe, umlingani wakho uzobe eseqala ukuzizwa ehluleka ngokweqile ngoba bengabi ngcono, futhi azizwe sengathi bakudumaza.
Uma uzizwa uzizwa unesibopho sokucindezeleka komlingani wakho, kuyifulegi elibomvu okungenzeka ukuthi udinga ukuzifunela ukwelashwa.
Ukuqonda ukudangala kwabo kanye nobuhlobo bayo nentukuthelo kungumsebenzi WAKHE wokuzivocavoca nomelaphi. Umsebenzi wakho nje ukuzama ukwazi ukuthi yini ongayenza nongakwazi ukuyenza njengomlingani wakhe ukumeseka. Wonke umuntu unesibopho semizwa yakhe kanye nokuziphatha kwakhe, noma bengakuthola kunzima ukuyiqonda nokuyilawula.
Ngokufigqiwe:
Ozakwethu kufanele:
- Khuthaza umlingani wabo ukuthi angene ekwelashweni
- Lalela ngaphandle kokwahlulela
- Nikeza uthando nokusekelwa
- Khumbuza umlingani wakho ukuthi bayathandeka
Ozakwethu akufanele:
- Zizwe unesibopho sokucindezeleka komlingani wakho
- Zizwe ukhungathekile ngokwabo uma ukucindezeleka kungapheli
- Sola umlingani wabo ngokudangala kwabo
- Khubaza noma yini abazizwayo, inqobo nje uma yenziwa ngokuphepha
- Dlulisa umyalezo wokuthi kufanele bamane bakwazi ukukudlula nganoma iyiphi indlela
Ukudana kwesinye isikhathi kungathatha isikhathi eside ukwelapha, ngakho-ke kubalulekile ukubekezela. Kodwa-ke, ngosizo lwekhwalithi enhle nokwesekwa okuvela kulabo ababathandayo, ukucindezeleka okuningi kuyelapheka kakhulu. Ukwelashwa kungaletha imivuzo umuntu angakaze ayicabange ukuthi kungenzeka.
Ngaphansi kwengcindezelo kuvame ukulala amandla afihlekile, amathalente, kanye nezinkanuko obekungakaze kuzwe ogulayo eminyakeni edlule, noma angazi nokuthi banakho, ngakho-ke kunezizathu eziningi zethemba uma ubekezela wena nomlingani wakho.