-Delile
- 1. Izidingo zokuhlala kwesehlukaniso
- 2. Isizathu sesehlukaniso
- 3. Isikhathi sokugcinwa kwengane nesikhathi sokuba ngumzali (Ukuvakashelwa)
- 4. Ukwehlukanisa nokuxhasa izingane
- 5.Ukwesekwa esehlukanisweni
- 6. Ukwabiwa kwempahla ngedivosi
Ukuhlukanisa akulula kwabashadile nasezinganeni. Ukwehlukana ngokomthetho kuletha isivunguvungu sokucindezeleka ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo.
Kepha, uma isehlukaniso sesiseduze, udinga ukuthi uziqoqele futhi wazi ngokuphelele imiphumela esemthethweni yedivosi naphezu kokuhlukumezeka okungokomzwelo.
Uma ukhathazekile ngokuthi yini ongayilindela esehlukanisweni noma ukuthi yini okufanele uyazi ngesehlukaniso, funda ukuze uthole ukuqonda okuningiliziwe ngemininingwane yesehlukaniso nangezinkinga zesehlukaniso ezisemthethweni.
1. Izidingo zokuhlala kwesehlukaniso
Okokuqala, ngaphambi kokuhlukanisa, kufanele uqinisekise ukuthi uhlangabezana nezimfuneko zokuhlala ezweni lakho. Lokhu kubalulekile ngaphambi kokuba urekhode isikhalazo sakho (ukucelwa okusemthethweni) kokuhlukana.
Uma ungakwenzi, ngeke ube nenketho yokuqala inqubo yokuhlukanisa. Umbuso ngamunye ubeka imithetho yawo maqondana nokuhlala.
Isici esiyinhloko emithethweni yezidingo zokuhlala isikhathi esibekiwe ohlale ngaphakathi esifundazweni lapho uhlose ukuhlukana khona.
Ezinye izifundazwe zizokuvumela ukuthi ufune ukwahlukaniswa ngokomthetho ngaphandle kwesikhathi sokubamba uma njengamanje uhlala ezifundazweni.
Abanye bangakulindela ukuthi ube ngumhlali kunoma iyiphi indawo inqobo nje konyaka ngaphambi kokuba uqhubeke ngokuhlukana.
2. Isizathu sesehlukaniso
“Izizathu” zokwehlukana yizizathu ezizwakalayo osekela kuzo isicelo sakho sokuthi inkantolo iqede umshado wakho.
Izizathu ziwela ezigabeni ezimbili: ukusilela kuncike futhi akukho-nkinga.
Izizathu ezisuselwa kokuntula zilindele ukuthi ukhombise ukuthi owakwakho ufeze okuthile ngokungalungile, okudale ukwehlukana. Kulesi sigaba, amanye amaphuzu abikezelwayo ukungathembeki, ukungabi naluzwela (ngokomzimba noma ngengqondo), nokuhamba.
Namuhla, azikho izinzuzo eziningi zokucela ukwehlukaniswa okunamaphutha. Kepha, uma izwe lakho libona ukwehluleka kuyisici ekuthathweni kwesinqumo sokwehlukanisa noma ukuhlukaniswa kwempahla yomshado, kuyiphuzu elithandekayo.
Ukwehlukaniswa okungahambisani nalutho kusekelwe "ngaphezu kokuqhathanisa ukubuyisana" noma "ukuwohloka komshado okungatholakali." Ukukubeka ngokusobala, lezi zinto eziyisisekelo zisho ukuthi wena nomngane wakho anisakwazi ukuzwana futhi, futhi akunamqondo onengqondo wokuthi nizovumelana.
Akukho ukushiyeka kube ngumgwaqo wesinqumo ezindaweni eziningi. Kunezincazelo ezahlukahlukene ngemuva kwalokhu.
Njengoba awudingi ukuphikisa uma umlingani wakho wempilo efeze okuthile, kunokungakhululeki okuncane nobunzima ngesikhathi senqubo yokwehlukanisa. Lokhu kuyinzuzo enkulu, ikakhulukazi uma kukhona intsha efakiwe.
Ngokufanayo, lapho kungadingeki ukuba nixabane ngenxa yamaphutha, ukwahlukana kuba lula. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukuphikisana okuncane kuvame ukuguqula kube yizindleko eziphansi ezisemthethweni.
3. Isikhathi sokugcinwa kwengane nesikhathi sokuba ngumzali (Ukuvakashelwa)
Ukuqapha sekuyinkinga kaningi ngokuhlukana. Kunoma ikuphi, ngenkathi uhlukanisa, qaphela ukuthi ukunakekelwa akusona isiphakamiso esikhulu noma esikhulu somqondo abantu abaningi abacabanga ukuthi kunjalo.
Ekukhetheni izingqinamba zesikhathi sokunakekelwa nokukhulisa izingane, umthetho ulindele ukuthi amajaji agxile kakhulu “ezinzuzweni zokugcina zengane” kuze kube sezingeni ongalicabanga, okuvame ukuthi kusho ukuthi abanakekeli ababili bazibandakanya nempilo yengane.
Uma ucabanga ngalokhu, "igunya elihlanganyelwe elihlangene" njalo liwumphumela omuhle wecala lokunakekelwa. Kulesi simo, laba bagcini bobabili banesimo esinqumweni esibaluleke kunazo zonke empilweni yengane, njengokufundiswa, ubuntwana obuqinile, kanye nokwelashwa okungeyona inkinga.
“Ukugadwa okusemthethweni” kuchaza umzali oyedwa kuphela ongumholi, kepha lokho kuyicala elikhethekile kakhulu kunelejwayelekile namuhla.
Isiphathimandla esisemthethweni esihlanganyelwe asiguquli sibe “ukunakekelwa komzimba okuhlangene,” lapho ingane ihlala khona nomzali ngamunye noma yikuphi kusuka ezinsukwini ezimbalwa ezinsukwini eziyisikhombisa kuye kwesigamu sonyaka.
Nganoma yiziphi izizathu, ukunakekelwa komzimba ngokuhlanganyela kungenzeka kungenzeki noma kuhlakaniphe. Zonke izinto ezibalulekile ezibhekiwe, inkantolo izonikeza ilungelo lokugcina umzali oyedwa (“igunya eliphelele”), kepha, ngokujwayelekile, linikeza omunye umzali uhlelo lwesikhathi sokukhulisa izingane.
Ukuqhutshwa kwekhalenda lokukhulisa izingane lokugaya kuzoba nomzali otshala amandla nengane ubusuku obubodwa izinsuku eziyisikhombisa, bese bethandana ekupheleni kwesonto, mhlawumbe nesikhathi esandisiwe entwasahlobo yonke.
Kunoma ikuphi, abahluleli bazothatha isikhathi ngesikhathi sokukhulisa izingane kuye ngesimo, bese bezama ukuhlela uhlelo olufanelana kahle nezikhathi ezibekiwe zabagcini bobabili.
4. Ukwehlukanisa nokuxhasa izingane
Lapho uhlukanisa, kufanele wazi ukuthi laba babheki bobabili baphendula ngokuzondla izingane zabo.
Zonke izifundazwe zisebenzisa imithetho yezingane ukuze zibalwe yimali engakanani okufanele umzali anikele ngayo.
Isilinganiso sosizo olukweletwayo lususelwa emholweni womzali, njengoba nesilinganiso sesikhathi umzali azodlula ngaso nengane.
Ngokwengxenye enkulu, ama-youngster bolsters nawo azofaka izinto ezahlukahlukene, ngokwesibonelo, izidingo zomtholampilo zengane (njengokutholakala kwezokwelapha nezindleko zokuvakasha kukadokotela ezingavikelekile ngokuvikelwa).
5.Ukwesekwa esehlukanisweni
Imithetho ephathelene nokuhlala kwehlukaniso, okubizwa ngenye indlela ngokuthi "usizo lomlingani" noma "ukwesekwa," iye yathuthuka kuyo yonke le minyaka. Kufanele wazi ngale mithetho ngaphambi kokuhlukanisa.
Iphethini yamanje ikude nesikhathi sokuphila noma ukwesekwa okungashintshi, okwamanje okulondolozwa ngokusobala ebudlelwaneni bokuhamba isikhathi eside — ngokubanzi kubukwa njengendawo ethile ebangeni le-10 kuya eminyakeni engama-20, kuya ngesimo sakho.
Esimweni samanje sokuhlukana, ukwazi ukubona ukwesekwa kwesibonelelo senkantolo sethemu elibekelwe. Isibonelo, olunye uhlobo losizo lomlingani olubekelwe imingcele luhlukaniswa njengesixazululo “sokuvuselela”.
Olunye uhlobo losizo lomlingani wesikhashana ukwesekwa "kokubuyiselwa kwemali", okunikezwa njalo ebudlelwaneni obufushane lapho omunye umlingani engeza ekufuneni okulandelayo kwesitifiketi sesikole noma sokuthweswa iziqu.
I-hypothesis ithi ukunikela kwabalingani bempilo banelungelo lokunxeshezelwa ngokuzikhandla nezindleko abazisebenzisile ekwenzeni lula ukuqeqeshwa komunye umuntu.
Ezinye zezinto eziyinhloko inkantolo ecabanga ngazo lapho ivumela ukukhokha isehlukaniso yilezi:
- isidingo sangempela somlingani, namandla ekhokhela lowo omunye umuntu wokuphila naye
- ubude bomshado
- ubudala nempilo yomlingani ngamunye (ngokomzimba nangomdlandla)
- umkhawulo wokuthola womlingani ngamunye kanye nezinga lokuqeqeshwa
- izibopho zabazali maqondana nezingane
- ukuhlukaniswa kwempahla yomshado phakathi kwabalingani, kanye
- umholo ofinyeleleka kunoma yimuphi umlingani ngokuqagela izinzuzo zalowo ozibandakanya naye empilweni
6. Ukwabiwa kwempahla ngedivosi
Ekuhlukaneni okuningi, imibhangqwana kufanele ihlukanise impahla nezibopho. Imihlahlandlela isiyonke ithi izinkantolo zomndeni zizokwaba impahla yabantu abashadayo — okusho ukuthi impahla abayithola ngesikhathi somshado.
Lokhu kuzofaka izinsizakusebenza, isibonelo, umhlaba, izilinganiso zezezimali, njll. Inkantolo ikubheka kanjani lokhu, kuncike ekutheni uhlala endaweni “yokwabiwa ngokungakhethi” noma “yempahla yenethiwekhi”.
Izifundazwe eziningi zilandela inkombandlela yokusakazwa ngokungakhethi. Lokhu kusho ukuthi inkantolo izokwaba impahla ehlanganayo phakathi kwakho nomlingani wakho wempilo encike kumaqiniso ecala lakho.
Noma ngabe yini isiphathimandla esiqokiwe esibona kufanelekile esimeni sakho esithile sizonquma ukuthi umahluleli uyijikeleza kanjani impahla — akuqinisekisiwe ukuthi wonke umuntu ozoshada naye uzothola isamba esilinganayo.
Ku-expression yempahla yenethiwekhi, inkantolo izokwehlukanisa yonke imithombo yokuhlangana endaweni engezansi, ngaphandle uma kunesizathu esithile sokusuka kulo mgomo ojwayelekile.
Kuzo zombili izabelo zokwabiwa ngokungakhethi nezindawo zenethiwekhi, uvame ukuthola ithuba lokugcina noma iyiphi impahla okungeyakho ngokuzimela.
Ngokwengxenye enkulu, impahla ehlukile ifaka noma iziphi izinzuzo owazifuna ngaphambi komshado nezinhlobo ezimbalwa zempahla okungenzeka ukuthi wayithola ngesikhathi somshado, isibonelo, izipho kanye namagugu.
Uma kwenzeka okuthile kuqinisekiswa "njengempahla ezimele," kuzohlala kungokwakho kuphela futhi ngeke kwehlukaniswe phakathi kwakho nomlingani wakho wempilo ngenkathi nidivosa.
Noma kunjalo, qaphela ukuthi uma uxube impahla ehlukene nempahla ehlanganisiwe (noma yenethiwekhi) ngesikhathi somshado, akungabazeki ukuthi impahla ehlukile izolahlekelwa yisimo sayo esiqinisekisiwe, futhi izoncika ekwahlukaneni ngesikhathi sokwehlukana.
Ukuzama ukugwema lo mphumela, gcina impahla yakho ehlukile kwirekhodi elilodwa futhi ugcine wonke amarekhodi wokushintshana, kufaka phakathi nezinye izinsiza zakho.
Ukwehlukaniswa kungaba yinto exakayo, ngakho-ke cabanga ukukhuluma nommeli wokwahlukana oseduze ngaphambi kokuqhubeka.