-Delile
- 1. Yazi ukuthi kwenzekani ngempela
- 2. Vuselela ilangabi
- 3. Xazulula izinkinga
- 1. Ezingokomoya noma ezenkolo
- 2. Ezemfundo
- 3. Isivumelwano
- 4. Isikhathi
Ukuya ekhefini lokwelashwa kwezithandani kuyindlela engcono kakhulu yokuthi imibhangqwana ibuyisele ubudlelwano bayo emgqeni, ngendlela obekuvame ngayo ngesikhathi sesigaba se-honeymoon. Ukukhosela kwabashadikazi kungaba uhlelo oluthatha isonto lonke noma ukuphumula okuncane ngempelasonto okuhloswe ukusetshenziselwa nomlingani wakho. Inhloso ukukususa endaweni yakho ejwayelekile okwesikhashana, hhayi nje ngokwasemzimbeni nangokwendawo, kepha nakuyo yonke inqubo yansuku zonke yokulwa. Kuyithuba lokuzihlukanisa ngokwengqondo nangokomzwelo endaweni enengcindezi ekhaya ukuze uphumule futhi uthole ukuqonda okungcono kwezinto ezithile ngobudlelwano bakho.
Ngakho-ke, lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho kubuthuthukisa kanjani ubudlelwano, ungabuza? Nazi izinto ezi-3 ozakwethu abazenzayo ngesikhathi sokuhlehla kwezithandani nokuthi kungakusiza kanjani ukuthi ushintshe ubuhlobo bakho bube ngcono:
1. Yazi ukuthi kwenzekani ngempela
Ukuya ekhefini lokwelashwa kwezithandani kufana nokubuyela emuva ubheke ubudlelwano bakho ngaphandle. Uzoba nesikhathi sokukhuluma ngalokho ngamunye wenu akwenzayo njengamanje. Yisikhathi esifanele sokukhuluma ngemizwa yakho nangezinto ezikukhathazayo; Isikhathi sokubuza imibuzo efana nokuthi, "Kungani ubande kangaka futhi ukude kangaka?" noma "Kungani izinto zashintsha?". Kude nezingane nomsebenzi, uzokwazi ukugxila ekuzameni ukulungisa izinto ukuqala ngokubona nokugxila enkingeni yangempela. Ama-retreat anika imibhangqwana isikhathi sokuba yodwa komunye nomunye ukukhumbuzana nokwakheka, kepha lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho akuyona nje iholide elijabulisayo. Kungaba wukuvula iso kwangempela.
2. Vuselela ilangabi
Imibhangqwana ichitha isikhathi esingezansi sekhwalithi komunye nomunye ngenxa yezingane, imisebenzi, nomsebenzi. Bangakhokhela lesi sikhathi esilahlekile ngokuya endaweni yokubuyela emuva yokwelashwa kwezithandani. Yilapho bangavuselela khona ilangabi ukusindisa inhlansi yothando ekuqothulweni. Ukuya ekhefini lokwelashwa kwezithandani kuzokunikeza isikhathi sokuba nobusuku obuthandanayo wedwa nomlingani wakho noma usuku lwedina lokuphupha oselukade uluhlela isikhathi eside kodwa ongasoze walufeza ngoba impilo isezinxushunxushwini ezingapheli. Lesi futhi yisikhathi sokuthi nibeke eceleni umhlaba bese nicwilisa ebusweni bomunye nomunye nasothandweni. Khumbula, ubudlelwano budinga isikhathi esiningi nomzamo kuzo zombili izinhlangothi. Ukummema ukuthi abuyele emuva kungenye yezindlela zokutshela umlingani wakho ukuthi abathathwa kalula.
3. Xazulula izinkinga
Ukuphumula kokwelashwa kwezithandani kuyindawo efanelekile yokuthi ukhulume ngezinkinga zakho futhi uthole izindlela zokuxazulula izinkinga zakho ngosizo lomelaphi wakho njengeqembu elingathathi hlangothi. Lesi futhi yisikhathi sokuxoxa ngamaphutha omunye nomunye ngekhanda elipholile nenhliziyo evulekile. Mhlawumbe, awusathukuthelelani omunye nomunye ngemuva kwempelasonto yokubopha futhi uhlanganyele emisebenzini yezithandani. Ngenkathi usuku olujwayelekile kuseshini yokwelapha imibhangqwana konke kukhuluma futhi kungamnandi, ukubuyela emuva kwezokwelashwa kukunikeze isikhathi sokuphumula ngenkathi ninodwa, ukucabanga ngezinkinga zakho, futhi ucabange kahle ngobudlelwano bakho. Ukuba kude nempilo yakho ematasa empeleni kungayithuthukisa ingqondo nenhliziyo yakho, futhi kungaleso simo kuphela lapho uzobona khona ukuthi ufuna izinto zihambe kanjani ebudlelwaneni bakho. Ekupheleni kokuhlehla, kungenzeka ukuthi uzokwazi ukuxazulula zonke izingqinamba zakho zomshado noma izinkinga zobudlelwano.
Manje njengoba usuyazi izinzuzo ongazithola ngokuya ezikhoselweni zokwelashwa kwabashadile, kubalulekile ukuthi ubheke ukuthi ngabe yilokho okudingayo ngempela yini. Uma kunjalo, ulukhetha kanjani uhlobo olufanele lwemisebenzi olwenzelwe wena nomlingani wakho? Kunezinhlobo ezahlukahlukene zemishanguzo yokwelashwa kwezithandani futhi izibonelo ezimbalwa zimi kanje:
1. Ezingokomoya noma ezenkolo
Le mikhankaso yokwelashwa kwezithandani esekwe futhi ihlelekile inhle kulabo abafuna ukuqinisa izinhliziyo nezingqondo zabo njengabantu nanjengabashadikazi abangaphansi kobufakazi besonto labo. Le misebenzi ihambisana nemibhalo ephathelene nothando futhi isizwa ngemininingwane yocwaningo lwe-psychology. Lo mcimbi udlulisa imibono yokuthi bungaqiniswa kanjani ubudlelwano.
2. Ezemfundo
Lolu hlobo lwezithandani ezibuyela emuva zigxile kakhulu ekunikezeni imininingwane yezesayensi nezamandla okusungula kanye nezincazelo ezingasiza umbhangqwana ukubhekana nezinkinga zawo. Lokhu kuncike nasendleleni yodokotela wakho. Ezinye zazo zingakunika izimpendulo eziqondile emibuzweni yakho yobudlelwano, kuyilapho abanye bekhetha ingxoxo yezindlela ezintathu phakathi kwakho nomlingani wakho, eyenziwe ngumelaphi wakho, ukuze nizitholele izinto ngokwenu. Lena enye indlela esuselwa kumcabango ekusingatheni izinkinga zobudlelwano bezithandani.
Ukuze ukuhlehla kokwelashwa kwezithandani kube yimpumelelo futhi kube nemiphumela ethelayo, nazi izinto ezimbalwa okufanele uzicabangele:
3. Isivumelwano
Indawo yokubuyela emuva yokwelapha imibhangqwana ayisoze yaphumelela uma omunye wenu emane aphoqelelwe ukungena kuyo. Inhloso enkulu yalo msebenzi ukuxazulula izingqinamba zobudlelwano nokwakha kabusha uthando, ukwethembana nokusondelana phakathi kwabalingani ndawonye. Uzokwazi kanjani ukubuyisela izinto emugqeni uma ukubamba iqhaza kungavunyelwe? Ngokunikezwe lokhu, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi nina nobabili nizimisele ukwenza inqubo.
4. Isikhathi
Yebo, isikhathi siyikho konke. Uma ukuya endaweni yokubuyela emuva yokwelapha imibhangqwana kungasebenzanga okokuqala, akusho ukuthi kwehlulekile. Mhlawumbe nina nobabili anikakulungeli ukushiywa ninodwa egumbini elilodwa njengamanje, kodwa uma kunesikhathi nomzamo omncane, ekugcineni nikwazi. Ungasho nje ukuthi ukuhlehla kokwelashwa kwezithandani kungukuchitha isikhathi nemali. Abelaphi abakuqondisayo kulokhu bangabachwepheshe abanolwazi futhi abaqeqeshwe kahle futhi impumelelo yenqubo ayincikile kubona bodwa. Inkinga ukuthi, sivame ukukholelwa ukuthi yonke into ingalungiswa ngokushesha noma ixazululwe. Lokhu akusebenzi ezingxabanweni zobudlelwano. Uma ubudlelwano bakho busesimweni esibi kakhulu, umelaphi wakho akakwazi ukububuyisela ngomlingo ukuze abukeke ephelele.
Abanenhlanhla yilabo abathola uthando, abanye bangasho kanjalo. Abakwaziyo ukuthi ubudlelwano abugcwele uthando ngaso sonke isikhathi. Uma ushaye into embi ebudlelwaneni bakho njengamanje, ukuya endaweni yokubambelela ekwelashweni yisisombululo senkinga yakho. Thola isikhathi nendawo efanelekile yokukhuluma, ukuxazulula izingxabano nokuvuselela ilangabi lobudlelwano bakho. Ukuphendula umbuzo wakho, yebo, ukuhlenga kwezithandani kufanelekile ukuzama!