-Delile
- Izingane zithuthukisa kanjani imodeli yendlela yokuphatha abanye
- Nikeza isikhala semizwa yakho
- Catch ezibucayi
- Ukugxekwa kungasebenza njengesikhumbuzo esikhanyayo sokungafaneleki kwakho
- Gxila kokuhle
- Ukuba ngumzali osebenzayo ngesehlukaniso kudinga ukusebenzisana
- Beka imithetho
- Cela usizo, funa ukwelashwa ngesehlukaniso
Umngani wami muva nje ungitshele ukuthi abazali bakhe abahlukanisile sebengene ebudlelwaneni obunokuthula ngemuva kweminyaka eminingi begcwele impi yokubanga ilungelo lokugcina umntwana, ukubhuqa ngodaka ngamazwi, futhi kamuva iqembu eliyinkimbinkimbi lobumbano nentukuthelo elonakalisa ukuphepha nenduduzo umndeni ongayinikeza.
Wayebukeka edidekile ngale ntuthuko entsha — ukube lokhu kuthula okusha ayekuthola kwakungafika ngokushesha, kwakungase kuzinzise ubuntwana bakhe futhi kwenze ubuhlobo babantu abadala bungadidisi.
Izingane zithuthukisa kanjani imodeli yendlela yokuphatha abanye
Okugqame kakhulu ulaka olusezwini lakhe. Intukuthelo yokufakwa phakathi, ngokubuzwa noma ukufumbathiswa ukukhetha izinhlangothi, ukuzwa izindaba ngokungabi nalusizo komunye, ngokungazizwa uzinzile, noma uphephile, noma ubeke phambili njengoba abazali bakhe babelwa izimpi ezingokwengqondo nezingokomzwelo. Wazizwa elahlekile ekuxubeni.
Lapho ngizwa lokhu kanye nezindaba eziningi ezingenakubalwa ezivela ezinganeni zabantu abadala zesehlukaniso, ngithole umyalezo owodwa ongaguquguquki.
Izingane zakho zinokubukwa kwesihlalo esiphambili sendlela eniphathana ngayo.
Ngokuphikisana ngakunye, bakhulisa imodeli yendlela yokuphatha abanye nokuthi bacabanga ukuthi kufanele baphathwe kanjani.
Okuthinta kakhulu izingane akuwona umcimbi wesahlukaniso uqobo, kepha kunalokho izindlela — ezicashile noma cha — abazali abazisebenzisayo. Manje yini ongayenza?
Olunye lwezinguquko ezinamandla ongazenza namuhla ukuqala ukusebenza ngendlela oxhumana ngayo nomzali wakho.
Nikeza isikhala semizwa yakho
Isinyathelo sokuqala sokukhulumisana kahle sisondela ezingxoxweni zisuka endaweni ezolile futhi icacile.
Uma uzithola uxabana nomzali wakho, into yokuqala okufanele uyenze ukuthola ukuthi uzizwa kanjani. Ukuthatha nje imizuzu embalwa ukuzihlola ngokwakho kungasiza ekuvimbeleni ukubizwa ngamagama, ukukhiphela ezinganeni zakho ngokukhathazeka kwakho, noma ukudlala umdlalo wokusola.
Ukwazi okwenzekayo nawe kungasiza ekwaziseni odinga ukukucela futhi kukunikeze nethuba lokukuhlela ngendlela ezozwakala kangcono ngumzali wakho. Lokhu kungahamba okufana nokuthi, “Lokhu okushoyo kubaluleke kakhulu kimi. Ngizizwa ngicindezelekile njengamanje. Ngingaphinde ngikubize uma sengilele izingane ukuze unginake ngokugcwele? ”
Catch ezibucayi
Wake wayiqala ingxoxo ngenhloso bese uyakhungatheka lapho ungazizwa uzwakala, noma uqinisekisiwe, noma ungaqondakali?
Ngokuvamile, lo muzwa wokungakhululeki wenza kubonakale sengathi umlingani wakho akakaze akulungele (futhi nakanjani akazimisele ukuba khona manje!), Futhi ekuphenduleni, imibhangqwana eminingi ijwayele ukushintshela ekugxekeni — okuyindlela elula nejwayelekileyo eqeda ukuxhumana kwangempela futhi kubukela phansi inqubekela phambili. Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo zivame ukuchaza ukugxeka njengokuvezwa kwezidingo ezingagcwaliseki nokudumazeka.
Konke ukugxekwa kuyisifiso esenziwe ngentukuthelo.
Ngakho-ke uma uthi, "awukaze ungilalele" isifiso esingachazwanga sithi, "Ngifisa sengathi ungangilalela, ngoba ngizizwa ngingezwakali kakhulu." Lapho siya kwabanye sivela endaweni yentukuthelo, mancane kakhulu amathuba okuthi basizwe isicelo.
Isinyathelo sokuqala ukubona ukuthi sazi kanjani izidingo zethu. Uyakhumbula okokuqala lapho uthola i-eseyi noma iphrojekthi futhi yakhontshwa ngokubhalwa okubomvu? Uyazi lowo muzwa osheshayo - owamahloni, noma wokuphoxeka, noma wokungazizwa sengathi ulinganiselwe?
Noma uthisha eshiye inothi elikhuthazayo ekugcineni, ubusele nesikhumbuzi esibukekayo sokuthi awutholanga kahle - futhi mhlawumbe ubungathokozile ukugijimela ekhaya nokulungisa amaphutha akho.
Ngendlela efanayo, ukugxekwa phakathi kwabazali abalingani akunakwenzeka ukuthi kudale indawo evusa isifiso sokuzithuthukisa.
Ukugxekwa kungasebenza njengesikhumbuzo esikhanyayo sokungafaneleki kwakho
Emsebenzini wami nemibhangqwana, ngithole ukuthi okunye okukhulu kakhulu amamaki ezinhlamvu ezibomvu singakwazi ukufaka amagama njalo futhi angikaze- njengokuthi "uhlala uzithanda wena" noma "awukho lapho izingane zikudinga khona." Uyasikhumbula isikhathi sokugcina lapho ulebulwe khona nge- njalo noma a angikaze?
Uma ufana nabaningi bethu, kungenzeka ukuthi uphendule ngokuziphendulela noma ngokulayisha okulinganayo. Ngakho ngokuzayo lapho uzibamba ucosha usiba olubomvu, bona ukuthi ungangena esikhundleni salo ngokusho leso sifiso.
Ukushintsha iskripthi esigugile kusuka ku “you angikaze do ... ”kulokho“ engikudinga ngempela ... ”akuyona into elula futhi ezodinga ukuzijwayeza ngamabomu. Ingxenye esemqoka yalo mkhuba ukuhlonza izidingo zakho, bese uzibuze, “Yini engiyidingayo njengamanje engingayitholi?”
Okudingayo yisandla esengeziwe sokulinganisa isonto elinengcindezi. Bona ukuthi ungaba neqiniso yini ngokubuza okudingayo ngaphandle kokugxeka noma ukuveza amaphutha noma ukudumazeka okwedlule. Uma uzibuza ukuthi ungakwenza kanjani lokho, zijwayeze ukubuza imibuzo eqala ngokuthi, “Ngingakujabulela kakhulu uma ...” noma “Ngifisa sengathi ubungakwenza,” noma “Kungasho lukhulu kimi ... uma ungalanda izingane esikoleni ngoLwesine nangoLwesihlanu bese uziyisa kumdlalo webhola. Nginomsebenzi omkhulu emsebenzini, futhi ngidinga ukuxhaswa okwengeziwe kuleli sonto. ”
Gxila kokuhle
Njengoba isehlukaniso kaningi siyisenzakalo esibuhlungu emndenini, kulula ngabazali ukuba badlale ngokugxeka bezungeze izingane zabo.
Ngaphandle kokuhlosa ukulimaza, imishwana enjengokuthi “Bengifuna kodwa ubaba uthi asikwazi,” “Umama wakho akalungi,” nokuthi “Ubaba wakho uhlale ephuza ukukucosha,” okuvela ezindaweni zobuhlungu, kungalimaza ingane. Lezi zinto zingahle zibe yiqiniso ngokuphelele, kepha kungenzeka zingabi ezokubonwa ngabantwana bakho — ezakho, futhi ezakho wedwa.
Ukuba ngumzali osebenzayo ngesehlukaniso kudinga ukusebenzisana
Yize kungaba nzima ukucabanga nge-ex yakho njengengxenye yeqembu lakho, kungasiza ukubabheka njengesandiso sobuzali bakho. Uma ufuna ingane yakho yazi ukuthi iphephile futhi iyathandwa, khona-ke yakha izingxenye ezihamba phambili ze-ex yakho.
Akudingeki ubathande noma ubathande. Vele ukhethe okuthile ngokukhuliswa kwabo ongakuhlonipha, bese wenza imizamo yokukuncoma lokho ezungeze izingane zakho. Zama okuthile okufana nokuthi, “Umama uhlale ekujabulela kakhulu ukukusiza ngomsebenzi wesikole. Kungani ungamkhombisi leyo nkinga onamathele kuyo? ” noma “Ubaba uthi wenza isitsha sakho osithandayo sokudla kwakusihlwa! Lokho bekumcabangela kakhulu. ”
Ungahle ucabange, kepha kuthiwani uma ubaba ephuzile ukuzilanda - futhi yena empeleni lokhu kwenza njalo? Into yokuqala ukuzivumela uzizwe noma yini oyizwayo.
Awudingi ukuzenza ngathi ujabulile noma ulungile ngalokhu kuguquka kwemicimbi. Lokhu kungasiza ekumodeleni nasekuhlinzekeni ukuqinisekisa ukukhungatheka noma ukudumazeka kwezingane zakho. Ungakhetha ukusho into enjengokuthi, "Ngiyazi ukuthi kubuhlungu lapho ubaba ephuzile ukukuthatha" - ubavumela ukuthi bazizwe bebonwa futhi bezwakala kuwe ngesikhathi lapho kungenzeka bazizwe bengabalulekile noma bakhohliwe.
Lokhu-ke kudala isikhala sokwenza amaphutha wokuba ngumzali womuntu, ngenkathi kwakhiwa amandla womzali wakho. Lokhu kungahamba okufana nokuthi, “Sobabili sifunda ukwenza lo msebenzi futhi sizokwenza amaphutha athile endleleni. Ubaba wakho akakujabuleli kangako ukufika ngesikhathi. Angikaze ngibe muhle ngokubheka imibiko yakho muva nje. Sobabili sikuthanda kakhulu, futhi sizoqhubeka nokusebenza ngokubambisana ukukunikeza okudingayo. ”
Beka imithetho
Enye yezindlela zokuxhumana ngempumelelo lapho ubambisene kubazali ukusungula imithetho eyisisekelo.
Umhlahlandlela olula ukuwugcina "Wabantu abadala kuphela." Esinye isikhalazo esivamile esivela ezinganeni ezindala zesehlukaniso ukuthi abazali bazo bazisebenzisa njengezithunywa ngenkathi ziseyizingane.
Khumbula, uma unombuzo noma umbono, noma ngabe umkhulu noma mncane, xhumana ngqo nomzali wakho. Ngendlela efanayo, ngenkathi sonke sidinga ukwesekwa nendlebe elalelayo, kubalulekile ukuthi ukukhipha idivosi yakho noma owake wakushada kufanele kugcinwe kuzithameli zabantu abadala kuphela.
Lapho izingane zifakwa endimeni yokuba ngumngane noma umuntu othembekile, kungadala ubunzima ekhonweni lazo lokujabulela ukuchitha isikhathi nomzali wakho. Ucwaningo lusitshela lokhu ukuthi ezansi nomugqa, leli phethini lingathinta kabi izinga lobudlelwano abanabo nawe - noma sebekhulile.
Ngakho-ke uma ufuna ukusebenzela ukwakha izibopho eziqinile nezingane zakho manje nasesikhathini esizayo, zikhumbuze ukubanika isikhala lapho bengenasibopho sokusingatha imizwa yakho, ukuthatha uhlangothi, noma ukudlala indawo ozoyisebenzisela wena nozakwenu. umzali.
Cela usizo, funa ukwelashwa ngesehlukaniso
Ekufundeni okungenhla, ngicabanga ukuthi impendulo ejwayelekile yangaphakathi yinto ehambisana nokuthi “lokhu kuzosebenzela abanye abantu okuhle, kepha lokhu kunzima kakhulu nomzali engisebenza naye ngenxa yezizathu eziningi.” Uqinisile impela — yize imilayezo engenhla ilula ngomqondo, ivame ukuba nzima ngokwedlulele futhi ngokumangazayo.
Akudingeki ukuthi ubhekane nalokhu wedwa, futhi abaningi bakuthola kuwusizo ukuba nomqeqeshi noma umqondisi endleleni — imvamisa ngokusebenzisa ukwelashwa kwesehlukaniso.
Ngaphakathi komshado, ukwelashwa kwabashadikazi kungasiza ekuqiniseni ubudlelwano lapho bobabili bezibophezele ukuhlala ndawonye futhi badinga usizo lokususa izivimbamgwaqo ekwenzeni lokho.
Kulabo abacabanga ukuphela komshado — abanezingane noma abangenawo — ukwelashwa ngaphambi kwesehlukaniso kunganikeza isikhala sokunquma ukuthi ngabe isehlukaniso yisixazululo esifanelekile yini sabantu abahlukumezeka emshadweni, ukuze baxoxe ngesizotha ngokuhlukaniswa kwempahla, benze amalungiselelo okunikezwa kwabazali ndawonye, futhi babone izindlela ezinempilo zokwabelana ngezindaba nomndeni nokunciphisa ukucindezeleka okungahle kube khona kulezi zindaba.
Kungakusiza futhi wena nomlingani wakho ukuthi nixoxe futhi nisebenzise indlela engcono yokuqhubeka nokunikeza indawo evulekile nephephile yezingane — kulo lonke idivosi uqobo lwayo nakusasa.
Ngokufana nomshado, ayikho incwadi eqondisayo yokuthi ungaba kanjani ngumzali osebenza ngokubambisana futhi akunakwenzeka ukuthi ukuxhumana okulengisiwe emshadweni wakho kuzonyamalala ngemuva kwesahlukaniso sakho.
Ngokuzama ukuthola ukuxhaswa ngesahlukaniso ungafunda ukuthi ungaphila kanjani impilo eyanelisayo ngemuva kwesehlukaniso futhi unciphise umthelela wakho emndenini wakho — futhi ususe omunye umuzwa olahlekile otholwa abaningi ngalesi sikhathi esinzima kakhulu.