-Delile
- 1. Sindisa izingane zakho ekuhlanganisweni phakathi kwenu nobabili
- 2. Yenza izingane zamukele iqiniso elibuhlungu ngozwela olukhulu
- 3. Kungakhuphuki futhi kungavumeli umkhawulo wezomthetho ukhuliswe
- 4. Beka imingcele ezungeze isikole, ikhaya nomphakathi
- 5. Hlakulela ukuzimela kubo kusukela usemncane
- 6. Vumela izingane zikhulume nomunye umzali
- 7. Banelise izidingo zabo zezimali
Ukuhlukaniswa phakathi kwezithandani bekulokhu kuyinkinga ebucayi. Akulula neze ukudlula kwinqubo ebuhlungu yokwehlukana futhi kamuva, isehlukaniso. Ngezinye izikhathi, akubona abantu ababili kuphela abacatshangelwayo, kunalokho umndeni.
Kungakhathalekile ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho bebububi kangakanani nalowo owawushade naye, izinto azipheli ngesehlukaniso.
Ngemuva kwesehlukaniso, izingqinamba ezithile zomshado zihlala zingaxazululeki noma ngabe inki isomile esinqumweni. Ezinye izindaba eziyinkimbinkimbi zamazwe womabili azikwazi ukuxazululwa kalula. Omunye wabo uthatha isinqumo ngomgcini wezingane.
Uma unomuntu othanda ukuhlanekezela futhi ungumzali ngokubambisana nalesi sidala esinobuthi, yazi, umthwalo wokuba ngumzali onempilo usemahlombe akho.
Ungaba kanjani ngumzali osebenza naye nge-ex enzima?
Uma ubhekene nomzali osebenza nge-narcissist, ake siphakamise ikhethini kwamanye amathuba okuba ngumzali ngokubambisana nowayengumlingani wangaphambili onobuthi.
1. Sindisa izingane zakho ekuhlanganisweni phakathi kwenu nobabili
Okungcono ukuthi wazi, ukuba ngumzali ngokubambisana ne-ex ex kusho ukuthi ama-exes anobuthi noma abazali abakhohlisayo ngokomzwelo bangadlala yonke imidlalo engokomzwelo ukukugcina ugxilile ebudlelwaneni ngisho nangemva kokuhlukana ngesihluku. Bazozama ukukuyenga ukuthi uthathe lonke icala, futhi bangaxhaphaza izingane ngale njongo.
Musa ukunaka amaqhinga abo amabi, bese uzama ukusindisa izingane zakho ekuzijwayeleni ngokumelene nawe.
Uma ungumzali ngokubambisana nowakudala onobuthi, setha umngcele wenhlonipho kuwe nakumzali wakho, ongaphulwa yinoma yibaphi kwababili.
2. Yenza izingane zamukele iqiniso elibuhlungu ngozwela olukhulu
Izingane ezincike ngokulinganayo kubazali bazo bobabili akunakwenzeka ukuthi zamukele ukuhlukana komndeni. Yibo abangakaze babe nezwi odabeni olubaluleke kangaka, yize kungenzeka ukuthi bathinteke ngalesi sinqumo.
Abazali abahlukanisayo kudingeka baqinisekise izingane zabo ukuthi bazohlala bewumndeni ngisho nangemva kwalesi sinyathelo esibalulekile. Abazali kufanele bathululise izingqondo zezingane. Badinga ukuqinisekisa izingane ngesibopho somndeni esihlala njalo.
3. Kungakhuphuki futhi kungavumeli umkhawulo wezomthetho ukhuliswe
Zama ukungadluli phansi amalungelo akho asemthethweni maqondana nezingane. Ngenkathi ubambiselana ngokubambisana ne-ex ex enobuthi, ungalokothi uvumele omunye umzali osebenza ngokubambisana aphuce isabelo sakho, ngasikhathi sinye.
Udinga ukuvuma amalungelo akho. Ungavumeli izinto zilawulwe ngomunye umzali uma ubambisana ngokubambisana ne-ex ex enobuthi. Kufanele usebenzise ithonya lakho ezinganeni, kufanele ubanikeze izindinganiso zokuphila ezihloniphekile, futhi unelungelo lokuthola lokho.
Ungalokothi uyekethise ekugcineni amalungelo akho.
4. Beka imingcele ezungeze isikole, ikhaya nomphakathi
Ngenkathi ubambisana ngokubambisana ne-ex enzima, umuntu kufanele anqume ngokubeka imingcele nabalingani bomshado wangaphambili. Ukwakha imingcele nowayeshade naye kuzokhuthaza ubuthi obuncane ebudlelwaneni enibabelana ngabo noma obabelwe ingane.
Izingane zidinga ukujwayelana nazo zonke izingxenye zempilo kusukela ekuqaleni. Badinga ukufundiswa indlela yokuziphatha endaweni ethile.
Udinga ukubasusa kude nokuyalelwa ngumzali onobuthi. Ngokuhambisana nemingcele yokuba ngumzali ngokubambisana, dala ukuqwashisa kubo mayelana nayo yonke imikhakha yempilo, kusuka komuntu uqobo kuye kobuchwepheshe kuye kwezenhlalo, yonke imikhakha yempilo idinga ukuqondiswa nokukhuthazwa.
5. Hlakulela ukuzimela kubo kusukela usemncane
Ukuzimela kubaluleke kakhulu ezinganeni, noma ngabe ubuhlobo obuphakathi kwabazali buklinyiwe noma cha.
Bafundise ukuzimela lapho besesigabeni sokuqala sempilo. Lokhu kuzoba inzuzo enkulu kubo ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Kanjani?
Kule vidiyo engezansi, uSara Zaske uxoxa ngencwadi yakhe entsha futhi wabelana ngezitayela zokukhulisa izingane ezingenza izingane zikwazi ukuzimela ngezikhathi ezithile kanye nama-anecdotes.
Ngokushesha noma kamuva, bazothola ubunzima bempilo, kufaka phakathi ubukhona bomzali onobuthi uma ubambisana naye nge-ex enobuthi. Kuze kube yileso sikhathi, bazokwazi ukuzimela. Bebengeke bafune ukusekelwa ukuze babhekane nokushiyeka.
Ngokuqinisekile bazofunda ukuthuthuka bebodwa uma befundiswa ukuhlala bodwa.
6. Vumela izingane zikhulume nomunye umzali
Gwema noma yikuphi ukudlala okungcolile ebudlelwaneni uma ubudlelwano bakho bebunobuthi ne-ex yakho, akudingekile ukuthi umlingani wakho athele ubuthi nasenganeni.
Ungavimbi isikhathi sokuxhumana noma sokubopha phakathi kwengane yakho nomlingani wakho. Kufanele bakhululeke ukuvakashelana ngezikhathi zonke. Futhi, gwema ukukhuluma kabi ngomlingani wakho phambi kwengane yakho.
Wonke umzali ufanelwe ubudlelwano bothando nengane yakhe. Ngakho-ke, kusekele futhi uqaphele okushoyo ngomunye umzali phambi kwezingane zakho.
7. Banelise izidingo zabo zezimali
Ingcindezi yezezimali ingenye yezinkinga ezivame kakhulu zokubambisana njengoba ukuhlukaniswa kwemithwalo yemfanelo yabazali kungaba nzima ngenkathi kubambisana ngokubambisana ne-ex enzima.
Kungaba ukungasho lutho ukusho; izidingo zabo zezezimali kufanele zifezeke. Eqinisweni, udinga ukubona izindleko zabo ngozwela olukhulu. Udinga ukuba nentshiseko kuyo.
Izingane ezincishwa izinzuzo ezithile empilweni ziba nesithunzi esiphansi.
Izingane zivame ukuziqhathanisa, futhi zifuna ukuthola konke okungcono zibheke ezinye izingane. Akufanele uchithe kabi ngabo. Umzali kufanele azame ukubanxephezela ngakho konke abakufunayo.
Encwadini eseceleni, udinga ukuthi ufunde ngokucophelela zonke izifiso zabo ngaphambi kokugcwalisa.
Ayikho ingane efanele ukukhula ngomuntu omdala osabisayo. Okungaba okungcono kakhulu, uma ungumzali ngokubambisana nomuntu wakudala onobuthi futhi uyazi ngakho, beka yonke inhliziyo nomphefumulo wakho ekunqobeni ilungelo lokugcina izingane zakho. Akukho okungaba okuphephe ngaphezu kwalokho, ngenothi elihlakaniphile.