-Delile
Ukuhlukana kocansi kukhulu, kuyathandeka futhi kuyasendle - amazinga okusondelana ahlukile futhi alungile, uma ubulili bemihla ngemihla bungahle bufane nobulili bezimonyo ngakho-ke akekho umuntu obengazama ukuthola ukuthi ungapholisa kanjani umlingo owomile ebudlelwaneni babo.
Ukwehlukanisa ucansi kuvame ukushuba kakhulu kunokuya ocansini olujwayelekile kepha umbuzo omkhulu uthi kungani ucansi lokwehlukana lunomphumela onje?
Umbono wokudlulisa ovusa inkanuko
Le mbono yokwehlukana ngokocansi ibeka ukuthi isimo osithinte kakhulu ngokomzwelo nokuvuka osufinyelele ngesikhathi sokuhlukana kwakho siphenduke amandla ezocansi njengendlela yokuyicubungula.
Isivivinyo sebhuloho esenziwa nguDonald Dutton no-Arthur Aron ngonyaka we-1974 siyisibonelo sakudala sokuthi ukwesaba kungakhuthaza kanjani izimpendulo ezahlukahlukene ekukhangeni kunemvelo 'ejwayelekile'.
Kulesi silingo, owesifazane okhangayo waxhumana nabesilisa ngenkathi bemi ebhulohweni elenza ukwesaba noma ibhuloho elijwayelekile eliphephile. Ngemuva kwalokho, bagcwalise uhlu lwemibuzo lapho labo ababesebhulohweni elenza ukwesaba bakhombise izinga eliphakeme kakhulu lokuvusa ucansi.
Kungenzeka yini ukuthi lapho konke kulahlekile, lapho wazi ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokudedela uqhubeke, ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa umuntu omthandayo kanye nokwesaba ikusasa lakho elizayo kukhuthaza umzuzu wokugcina wobulili obukhulu bokuhlukana?
Kubukeka sengathi lokho kungaba nomthelela emiphumeleni yokuhlukana nocansi.
Kuyindaba efanayo nocansi lokwakheka futhi, yize ukukhishwa kokwesaba ukulahleka kungaba isithako esinamandla esidala impendulo yokudlulisa ukuvusa.
Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi inkolelo evusa inkanuko ingahehwa yimizwa emihle nengakhi futhi okusho ukuthi kungenzeka ngokuphelele ukudala le mpendulo ngentando, ukuthuthukisa ukuxhumana kwakho ngokocansi uma ufisa!
Ngakho-ke uma ungakabi nesiqiniseko sokuthi ucansi luhlukani, nakhu okudingeka ukwazi.
Ucansi lokwehlukana ubulili onabo nomlingani wakho kungekudala ngaphambi, ngesikhathi noma ngemuva kokuhlukana futhi kungamangalisa.
- Iningi labantu libheka ukwehlukana kobulili njengobungcono kunocansi lwezimonyo.
- Isimo esijabulisayo sokwehlukana kocansi sikhulu ngoba wena noshade naye nazi ngokugcwele ukuthi mhlawumbe ngeke nibe nethuba lokulala nalo muntu futhi elihlanganiswe nempendulo evusa inkanuko.
- Kuvalelisa kokugcina.
- Ukuhlukanisa ucansi isenzo sokuzitika ngocansi esidudula izinhlangothi zombili ukuthi zisetshenziswe ngokuphelele ngokuba sesikhathini.
Lapho umbhangqwana uzibandakanya ekuhlukaniseni ucansi, kungenzeka ukuthi basuke besesimweni ngokugcwele, bejabulela isikhathi sabo esilinganiselwe nomuntu abamthandayo.
Ukuzitika ngayo yonke imizwa yokugcina nokuhlangenwe nakho abakujabulele futhi okungenzeka bakuthathe kalula isikhathi eside. Ngenkathi wazi ukuthi ngeke liphinde libe khona ithuba elinjalo. Ukuhlukanisa ucansi kwenziwa noma kufa futhi kukhuthaza umuzwa wokuba khona ngokocansi esivame ukubuthatha kalula empilweni yansuku zonke.
Akunasithiyo uma kukhulunywa ngokuhlukana nocansi, kuyisikhathi sangempela sokuphendula ngokomzimba kanye nesifinyezo sakho konke oke waba ndawonye, konke enibe ndawonye nakho konke enizoba khona ngaphandle kwabo ngokuzayo - akumangazi neze ukuthi kuhle kakhulu.
Qaphela yize kunezingozi ezibandakanyeka kwezocansi ezihlukanisayo
Ucansi lokwehlukana lubangcono kakhulu lapho ubudlelwano bebuhle kahle, kepha nobabili senibonile ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokuhlukana. Iheha i-vibe enothando futhi ibonakala iyindlela engcono kakhulu yokubonisana kahle futhi iphrojuse lonke uthando enizwana ngalo komunye nomunye.
Kodwa-ke, kwezinye izimo ukuhlukana nocansi kungaba yingozi kunga:
- Dala ukudideka
- Ikakhulukazi uma iqembu elilodwa lingakulungele ukudedela ubudlelwano babo buhambe. Kungadida imizwa futhi kukwenze ubuze ukuthi ngabe uthathe isinqumo esifanele yini. Kungenza futhi kube nzima ukuqhubekela phambili.
- Donsela umuntu emuva ebudlelwaneni obunodlame noma obuyingozi.
- Ngenxa yokudideka okudaleke ngokomzwelo nangokwengqondo, kungadonsela abantu emuva ebudlelwaneni obekufanele bakugijime.
- Kungadonsela ngaphandle ukuhlukana bese kuguqula ubudlelwane bube ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Ikakhulukazi uma udidekile ngokuhlukana okudingekayo futhi uzame ukuvuselela ubudlelwano.
- Setshenziselwa ukugcina umuntu esondelene naye lapho umlingani oyedwa engafuni ukumyeka.
Okufanelekile, umthetho omuhle wesithupha uma kukhulunywa ngokuhlukanisa ucansi ukuzitika ngalo kuphela uma nisakhathalelana futhi nifuna ukuhlala ningabangani futhi uma nobabili nifuna ukwehlukana. Ngale ndlela ezinye izingozi zokuhlukana nocansi ziyancipha.
Ekuphetheni ukwahlukana, ucansi yinto edakayo futhi emangalisayo esimweni esifanele, kepha ingozi yokudideka ngokomzwelo ingaba phezulu.
Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuthi ucansi lokwahlukana kufanele luhlangane futhi lube luhle kuphela uma zombili izinhlangothi zizimisele ukusuka ebudlelwaneni kwasekuqaleni.
Isimo esisengozini enkulu uma uzama ukusebenzisa ukuhlukanisa ucansi njengendlela yokuxazulula inkinga.
Lokho kusho ukuthi, awudingi ukulinda ikhefu ukuze uzwe izimangaliso zalo zobulili, ungaqala ukwazisa isithandwa sakho njalo lapho usondelene ngokungathi ngeke usababona futhi ubuke ukuthi usuku nosuku lwakho lunjani ucansi nokusondelana kuthuthukisa okuphindwe kalishumi.