-Delile
- 1. Ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa ngumlingani wakho
- 2. Ukuzethemba okuphansi, noma ukungazethembi noma amaphethini wokuziphatha we-neurotic
- 3. I-Narcissism
- 4. Ukuziphatha ngokuncintisana
- 4. Amanga noma ukuziphatha kokukopela
- 5. Ukuziphatha okuhle
- 6. Ukuncika kumlingani wakho
Kunabantu abaningi abakholelwa ukuthi umona uyisibonakaliso sothando, akukho okunye, akukho okungaphansi. Kepha uma uyeka ukucabanga ngomona kuyo yonke inkazimulo yawo uthola ukuthi yini ngempela ebangela umona. Sithola ukuthi ngemuva kwe-facade yothando kunesixuku sonke sokungavikeleki okungavela ngezindlela ezahlukahlukene.
Awusikholwa?
Chitha isikhathi ubheka eminye yemibhangqwana ehamba phambili ezungeze wena - imibhangqwana obaziyo ukuthi isebudlelwaneni obunothando, obunempilo nobeneme. Futhi uma ngabe benelisekile njengoba kubonakala sengathi uzothola ukungabikho komona okuhlukile kanye namabhakede wokuthembana, ukuphepha nokusondelana, okuphambene ngokuphelele nomona.
Ngakho-ke uma umona kungelona uthando, yini ebangela lokho?
Ngaso sonke lesi sihloko, sizobheka kafushane ezinye zezici ezibalulekile ezibangela umona.
Khumbula nje ukuthi, uma umona uyinkinga kuwe, futhi ukwazi ukuhlangabezana nanoma iyiphi yalezi zinkinga, awuwedwa. Awuyena futhi umuntu 'omubi', kepha unomsebenzi othile okufanele uwenze kuwe ukuze ukwazi ukulungisa izinkinga futhi ujabulele uhlobo olunempilo lobudlelwano esesikhulume ngalo ekuqaleni kule ndatshana.
Sithembe kufanele ukwenza umzamo.
1. Ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa ngumlingani wakho
Ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa ngumlingani wakho kuhlangene nezinye izingqinamba ezibalwe ngezansi kungaba yinto ebangela umona.
Ngemuva kwakho konke, ukube ubengesabi ukulahlekelwa ngumlingani wakho, ubungeke ube nesidingo sokuba nomona lapho umlingani wakho engenacala egxila komunye umuntu. Kepha lokhu kwesaba, ukuze kube umona, kungenzeka kuhlanganiswe nezinye izingqinamba futhi.
2. Ukuzethemba okuphansi, noma ukungazethembi noma amaphethini wokuziphatha we-neurotic
Uma wesaba ukulahlekelwa umlingani wakho futhi uhlangabezana nokuzethemba okuphansi, noma ungazizwa kahle ngokwanele ukuba ube neqabane lakho, kulula ukuqonda ukuthi kungani ungaba nomona.
Enye yezindlela esikhombisa ukungavikeleki ngayo kungukuziphatha okuzihlukanisayo noma okuswele.
3. I-Narcissism
AbakwaNarcissist balindele ukuthi abalingani babo babe nawo wonke amehlo kubo, abakwazi ukuba nayo ngenye indlela futhi abanakho ukuqonda ukuthi lena indlela yokuziphatha engafanele ebudlelwaneni.
Uma umlingani wabo esebenzisana nabanye ngendlela umlingani wabo ongathandeki angayithandi, umlingani wabo angaphenduka isikhwele njengendlela yokulawula.
4. Ukuziphatha ngokuncintisana
Kwesinye isikhathi kungahle kungabi ukuthi umlingani onomona wesaba ukulahlekelwa nguwe, esikhundleni salokho, bangesaba ukungabonakali njengabantu 'abahamba phambili'.
Lokhu kuziphatha kungenzeka phakathi kwamaqembu obungani, noma phakathi kwabalingani beqembu lezelamani.
4. Amanga noma ukuziphatha kokukopela
Uma umlingani eqamba amanga noma ekopela, amathuba okuba abe nomona nomlingani wakhe ngoba baveza ukwesaba kwabo ukukhohliswa, noma ukuba necala kubo.
Ngokufanayo, uma umlingani omsulwa eqhubeka nezimpawu zokuqamba amanga noma ushintsho ebudlelwaneni, bangaba ngabaswele futhi babe nomona ngenxa yemvelo, ukungavikeleki, nokuphambana.
5. Ukuziphatha okuhle
Abanye abantu abazi nje ukuthi bangakhululeka kanjani entweni ethile noma kothile abamazisayo, ngakho-ke baba namandla.
AmaHoarders ayizibonelo zalokhu, njengabantu abangahle bachithe imali yabo noma bangahlanganyeli okuthile abanakho okuningi nabanye.
Lokhu kuziphatha kungabangelwa ukungavikeleki, isitayela sokunamathisela okungavikelekile, isimilo esonakele noma umuzwa oqinile wokushoda okungenzeka wakhula ebuntwaneni futhi akukaze kulungiswe.
Kulesi simo, umlingani womuntu onomona uyimpahla yakhe, futhi isimilo yindlela abamisa ngayo umlingani wakhe ekuzihlanganyeleni nabanye, ngaleyo ndlela bagcine ukunaka kwabo kumlingani wabo.
6. Ukuncika kumlingani wakho
Abanye abantu bazibeka esimweni lapho bencike kumlingani wabo.
Ukuncika kwabo kungadalwa okuthile okuncane njengokuncika kozakwethu ukugcina umuzwa onamandla wokuhlonishwa, noma ukuzizwa bephephile emhlabeni. Kepha futhi bangahambisa impilo yabo yonke ukuthi babe nomlingani wabo ukuze bancike ngokuphelele kumlingani wabo ngazo zonke izindlela.
Abanye abantu bangahle bathembele ngokungadingekile kanti abanye ngokwemvelo benza kanjalo, ngokwesibonelo, uma uke waba nengane nomlingani wakho futhi uhlala ekhaya ukukhulisa izingane noma ukukuncelisa uthembele ngaleso sikhathi.
Ukuthembela nakho kungabonakala ngokugula noma ngokukhubazeka.
Uma uncike kakhulu kuningi ongakubeka engcupheni uma ubuhlobo bunqamuka - hhayi nje ukuphela kothando. Lokhu kuncika kungaphenduka ukukhathazeka ngokulahlekelwa ngumlingani wakho kanye nendlela ophila ngayo bese kuthi, kungenziwa ngomona.
Lezi yizibonelo ezimbalwa nje zalokho okudala umona, isimo ngasinye singahluka njengawe, amacala amaningi omona ayenzeka ngoba umlingani onomona akazethembi ngandlela thile futhi kungabasiza kahle uma benquma ukusebenzela ukulungisa leyo nkinga.
Kodwa-ke, kwezinye izimo, umona ungenzeka njengokuqagela komqondo ophoqelekile wokungazethembi ngenxa yezimo zempilo ezinjengezimo zobuzali, ukukhubazeka noma ukugula.
Ukwelulekwa ngokwengqondo kuyisixazululo esifanelekile sokubhekana nalokho okudala umona futhi kuzokunikeza ithuba lokujabulela impilo nomuntu omthandayo ngenjabulo nangokomzimba esikhathini esizayo.