-Delile
- Awulweli ukhaphethi
- Umlingani wakho akakwazi ukuvala amaphutha akho
- Ngakho-ke yini efika endleleni yethu yokuba lapho kumlingani wethu?
- Ungayibamba kanjani impikiswano yobudlelwano
- Lapho imilingo yenzeka khona
- Ungalwa kanjani kahle nomlingani wakho
USheryl noHarvey, iklayenti lombhangqwana lihlanganyele nami ingxabano yalo yakamuva. Baphikisana ngokuthi kufanele bashanele noma bahlanze ukhaphethi wabo.
USheryl umemezele uHarvey, “Udinga ukukhipha ukhaphethi ukuze uhlanzeke. Akunandlela yokuthi uzokhipha konke ukungcola, uthuli kanye nengcuba nje ngokushanela. ”
UHarvey naye uphendule wathi, “Yebo ngizo. Ngilwenzile lonke ucwaningo futhi umshanelo wanele ngokwanele ukuthola ukungcola okwanele, uthuli nokusikhipha ukuze sigcine ikhaya lethu liphilile futhi uthuli nokungcola kungekho. ”
Lokhu kuqhubeke imizuliswano eminingana, ngamunye ngokukhipha ngamandla ucwaningo lwabo olufakazela iphuzu labo ngentshiseko kunangesikhathi esedlule.
Awulweli ukhaphethi
Into ukuthi, uHarvey noSheryl bebengaphikisani ngekhaphethi.
Futhi babengazi nokwazi. Eqinisweni, cishe zonke izingxabano zombhangqwana ezijulile azihlangene nakancane nokuthi yikuphi lapho lezi zithandani zicabanga ukuthi ziphikisana ngakho. Izimpikiswano kodwa zimayelana nokubonwa nokuzwakala ngumuntu omthanda kakhulu emhlabeni.
Akukho lutho olwesabekayo noma olusengozini enkulu njengokuzwa ukuthi umuntu omthandayo akakutholi noma akahambi ngasohlangothini lwakho.
Kwabaningi bethu, ngokungazi, siyethemba ukuthi umuntu esikhetha ukumshada uzoba lapho ngathi ngaphandle kwemibandela futhi asithole nje. Iqiniso elidabukisayo ukuthi, abenzi, futhi ngeke.
Uthando olungenamibandela, njengo-Erich Fromm, umbhali wencwadi, "Ubuciko Bokuthanda" kuphela ebudlelwaneni bengane yomzali. Okuthile okufana nobuntwana.
Umlingani wakho akakwazi ukuvala amaphutha akho
Ebudlelwaneni obunothando lweqiniso, ingxenye ngayinye yombhangqwana idinga izinga eliphakeme lokuzithanda nokuzethemba.
Abakwazi ukulindela umlingani wabo ukuthi enzele ukushiyeka kwabo.
Lokhu akusho ukuthi asisaludingi uzwela noma ukuzizwa sengathi umlingani wethu ungakithi, noma bengavumelani nathi.
Ngakho-ke yini efika endleleni yethu yokuba lapho kumlingani wethu?
Okunye ukwesaba okukhulu kwabashadikazi ukuthi bazolahleka ebudlelwaneni babo.
Lokhu kwenza ukuzwa umbono womlingani wabo wesabe, ikakhulukazi uma kuphambene nezinkolelo zabo.
Kudinga isibindi esikhulu nokwethemba ukwazi ukuthi ukuzwa umbono wabalingani bakho bezothando akusho ukusula owakho. Uma uzinika isikhathi sokulalela umbono womlingani wakho, umlingani wakho uzizwa ethandwa kakhulu futhi enakekelwa. Lokhu kubenza bafune ukwenza okufanayo ngokubuyisela kuwe.
Eqinisweni, umlingo wangempela uvela ekuzweni umbono womlingani wakho. Lapho ngamunye wenu eshintshana ngokulalela umbono womunye nomunye, kulapho nizokwazi khona ukufika endaweni entsha yokuqondana futhi nakhe umbono wesithathu. Lo mbono ungaba mkhulu kakhulu kunaleyo oqale ngayo.
Ungayibamba kanjani impikiswano yobudlelwano
Ukuze uxazulule izingxabano ebudlelwaneni kangcono, landela lezi zinyathelo.
- Yazi kunokuthile okujulile okulele ngaphansi kwengxabano yakho okuzizwa kubuhlungu kakhulu ukufinyelela.
- Zinike isikhathi sokuzwa lapho ubuhlungu bulele khona ngaphakathi kuwe.
- Zinike isikhathi sokubona ukuthi ngabe kukukhumbuza noma yini.
- Vumela ukuba sengozini futhi wabelane ngale mizwa nomlingani wakho. Ngiyazi ngenza lokhu kuzwakale kulula, futhi kungaba njalo.
- Kunzima futhi kwesinye isikhathi kudinga usizo oluvela kumuntu wesithathu.
Enye yezindlela ukuphikisana kuzuzisa ubudlelwano benu ukuthi kunivumela ukuthi nikhulume ngezidingo zakho nomlingani wakho futhi kunisiza nobabili nikhule njengoba nikwazi ukubona ukuthi yini imbangela yokulimala.
Uma nje nobabili niphikisana ngokwakhayo kunesikhala sokufinyelela umsuka wezinkinga ngaphambi kokuba zikhule. Ngakho-ke, leyo ngenye yezindlela zokubheka izimpikiswano ebudlelwaneni njengendlela yokuvimbela ukonakala okungenakulungiseka nomlingani wakho.
Lapho imilingo yenzeka khona
Ngokusebenza noSheryl noHarvey ngikwazile ukubasiza ukuthola ukuthi yini eyenza ukuhlanganyela ngendlela ebucayi kusabise kangaka, ukuthi bakwazi ukukwenza lokho ngokubambisana nangokuphepha.
USheryl uthole ukuthi empeleni uhlushwa ukuzenyeza futhi waba nomuzwa wokuthi ubuhlakani bakhe abukwanele. Lapho elwa nohlangothi lwakhe lwempikiswano. Lokho ayezama ukukusho ngempela ukuthi, "Ngicela ungizwe ngoba ngidinga ukuzizwa ngihlakaniphile."
Ungalwa kanjani kahle nomlingani wakho
Khumbula, empeleni useqenjini elilodwa.
UHarvey wayesho into engehlukile kangako. Ngayinye yayikujwayele kakhulu kubantu ukuyazisa ngokuhlakanipha kwayo. Ngenkathi bephikisana ngokuthi ngubani owayelungile noma engalungile, ababekufuna nje ukuzizwa behlakaniphile futhi babonwe yilowo abamthandayo.
Cishe nabo bobabili bafuna ikhaya labo lihlanzeke. Kepha banakekela okuningi ngokuzizwa baziswa yilowo obaluleke kakhulu kubo.
Ngenkathi uHarvey ekwazile ukubona ubuhlungu bukaSheryl futhi waba lapho njengoba ekhala ngaphandle kokumehlulela, wezwa ukuba khona kwakhe, okwakuphilisa kakhulu. Lokhu kudale impela ushintsho abaludingayo bobabili ukuze bazizwe bethandwa.
Lapho imibhangqwana ifunda ukukhuluma ulimi lokungabi sengozini komunye nomunye, imizwa yabo yokuxhumana ikhula kakhulu.
Bafuna ukuzwa omunye komunye futhi babekhona lapho bethandana. Yilapho kwenzeka khona lezo zikhathi zomlingo zothando nezethenda. Noma kunengxabano ebudlelwaneni.
Uma lokhu kuyinto othola ulwa nayo, zizwe ukhululekile ukungishiya nolayini bese ungitshela ukuthi ngingakusiza kanjani.