-Delile
- Umlutha uwuthinta kanjani umshado
- Kungani ukuthola ukwelashwa ndawonye kungcono kunokuzihambela wedwa
- Yini ongayilindela emiphakathini yokuvuselela
- 1. Udoti
- 2. Ukwelashwa
- Izindlela zokwelapha ezihamba phambili namathuluzi wokutakula okusiza imibhangqwana eluthayo
Amandla obudlelwano emshadweni imvamisa iyindawo ekhohlisayo yokuyiqondisa.
Umuntu ngamunye uletha izinto zakhe zomuntu siqu emshadweni, okuthi kwesinye isikhathi kudale ukungezwani noma ukungaqondani, imizwa elimele noma ukukhungatheka.
Zicabange ushade nomlutha noma vele ungeze isidakamizwa esihlangene noma umlutha wotshwala esithombeni sasekhaya. Igama ukungasebenzi kahle kungenzeka kungaqali ukuchaza ubunzima ebudlelwaneni bomshado.
Lapho abalingani bobabili bekwazi ukubandakanyeka ekusebenziseni izidakamizwa noma lapho imibhangqwana eshadile ibhekene nokulutha ndawonye, futhi ifuna ukwelashwa kokuphazamiseka, lapho-ke ingaletha isethi eyingqayizivele yezinselelo zokululama. Ukulutheka kuzobe sekuholele ezindaweni zokuhlala ezingahlelekile kanye namandla ashukumisayo abambisene, neqembu ngalinye lidlala kumdanso oyindida wokusiza nokuqinisa isimilo somunye.
Ukusondelana ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba kuthathe isihlalo sangemuva ekufuneni nasekusebenziseni izidakamizwa, futhi umphumela olimazayo wemiphumela emibi wandisa ukufinyelela kwawo kuzo zonke izici zobudlelwano. Ozakwethu bayagula.
Manje, umbuzo ngukuthi imibhangqwana ingakwazi yini ukusanguluka ndawonye?
Yebo! Imibhangqwana eshadile ibhekene nokulutha ndawonye. Lapho imibhangqwana enjalo ibhekana nezinselelo ezithile zokuthi zisanguluke ndawonye, ziyazi ukuthi kuzoba ngumugqa onzima ukulima. Indlela engcono yokwenza lo msebenzi ukuthi nizithibe ndawonye bese nilashwa ndawonye.
Ngalolu lwazi olwabiwe, umlingani ngamunye uzoba nokuqonda okucacile kwalokho omunye abhekene nakho ekwelashweni, kanye nokufunda amakhono okubuyisa okubalulekile ndawonye.
Umlutha uwuthinta kanjani umshado
Akunandaba ukuthi iyiphi into ehilelekile, izidakamizwa notshwala kuyashintsha imibono. Zibangela ukushintshashintsha kwemizwelo, ukucasuka, ubuvila, ukunganaki, ukwahlulela okungafanelekile, nobunzima bezezimali, konke lokhu okungadala ukwanda kwentukuthelo, ukungqubuzana okwandayo, ukwethembana okuqhekekile, kanye nokungezwani okuvamile phakathi kwabalingani.
Okubi kakhulu ukuthi uma umlingani wakho enesilonda esiba yinto engathandeki kubo bonke noma kunoma yiluphi uhlobo lokulutha kabi izidakamizwa ekhaya kungaholela odlameni lwasekhaya, ukunganakwa kwezingane noma ukuhlukunyezwa, nesehlukaniso.
Ayikho imibhangqwana emibili efana. Ngamunye uzophendula emiphumeleni yokuluthwa yizidakamizwa noma utshwala ngendlela yakhe kuye ngamandla obudlelwano babo, amakhono abo ahlobene nabantu, nobukhulu bokuba umlutha. Kungakhathaleki ukuthi unamakhono okubhekana nalesi sifo, ukulutheka ekugcineni kuzuza isandla ekudaleni umonakalo omkhulu emshadweni. Uma umshado uzosinda, ukuzithiba kuphela kwento ongayenza ngeqiniso.
Kungani ukuthola ukwelashwa ndawonye kungcono kunokuzihambela wedwa
Kuneqiniso elijulile kulesi sitatimende sokuthi umlutha uyisifo somndeni.
Ukuziphatha okuluthayo ngaphakathi kweyunithi yomndeni kuqala ukukhulisa ukusebenza okujwayelekile ngezindlela eziningi. Lapho ukugxila okuyinhloko kwanoma yimuphi umshado kufanele kubeke phambili ukuba ngabalingani abanakekelayo, abanozwelo ngenkathi benakekela izidingo zezingane, ukuluthwa esikhundleni salabo ababeke phambili ukuthola, ukusebenzisa, nokululama ekusebenziseni kabi izidakamizwa noma utshwala. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, umshado uhlupheka njengoba ukulutha konakalisa futhi kuqeda ubuhlobo.
Lapho imibhangqwana eshadile ibhekene nokulutha noma ifuna ukwelashwa ndawonye, khona-ke abashadikazi bazozuza ngezindlela eziningi. Lokhu kungafaka -
- Iqembu elihluzekile - Ukuhlangana ndawonye kuhlinzeka ngohlelo lokuxhasana olwakhelwe ngaphakathi kulo mbhangqwana ekululameni. Okuhlangenwe nakho kwabo okwabiwe kudala umqondo wokuqonda nozwela komunye.
- Ukwelashwa kwezithandani - Ukugcizelelwa okuyinhloko ekuvuseleleni imibhangqwana kuzogxila ekubhekaneni nokuziphatha okungalungile okubandakanya ukusetshenziswa kabi kwezidakamizwa ekhaya nokwenza izinguquko ezibalulekile ekululameni.
- Ukuqondanisa ibhokisi lamathuluzi - Lapho bobabili abalingani beya emibhangqwaneni bevuselelwa ndawonye, bazofunda futhi basebenzise amakhono afanayo wokutakula, okwenza amathuluzi asebenze kangcono.
- Abaphathi Ngokuba nomhlane womunye nomunye, abalingani banganikeza impendulo nesiqondiso lapho kuvela izinsongo zokuzithiba.
Ngoba usizi noma ukukhathazeka ngokwehlukana kungaba yisithiyo ekwelashweni, ukuvuselelwa kwezithandani kusiza ukususa leso sithiyo.
Lapho imibhangqwana eshadile ibhekene nokulutha ndawonye, iba nomuzwa wenduduzo lapho ingena ekuvuseleleni, yazi ukuthi isazokwazi ukusebenzisana ndawonye phakathi nenqubo yokwelashwa.
Le yindlela yokulwa nokulutha njengezithandani.
Yini ongayilindela emiphakathini yokuvuselela
Ukuvuselela izithandani kunikeza bobabili abalingani ithuba lokugqashula ekubambeni umlutha ngasikhathi sinye futhi ohlelweni olufanayo lokuvuselela. Ubude besikhathi buzoncika ebukhulwini nobude bomlando wenkinga kepha imvamisa iba phakathi kwezinyanga eziyi-1-9 ubude.
Ukuvuselelwa kwezidakamizwa ezingalaliseli imibhangqwana kuzohlinzeka ngamagumbi ahlukene lapho amanye evumela imibhangqwana ukuba ilale egumbini elilodwa, ngaleyo ndlela isize imibhangqwana yanamuhla ibhekane nokulutha ndawonye.
1. Udoti
Ozakwethu bayovame ukwenziwa inqubo ye-detox yezokwelapha ngokwehlukana, ngenqubo ihlala noma kuphi kusuka ezinsukwini ezingama-5-14, futhi kuye ngobungako bomlutha. Abanye abantu bazohlinzekwa ngemithi esizwa ngemithi (MAT), imishanguzo engasiza ukuhoxa futhi yehlise izifiso ekululameni kusenesikhathi.
Le mithi iqalwa phakathi nesigaba sokugcina sokukhipha ubuthi emzimbeni nokuhoxiswa.
2. Ukwelashwa
Ngesikhathi sokwelashwa, lezi zithandani zizohlanganyela emisebenzini eyahlukahlukene, ezinye ngazinye futhi ezinye zihlangene. Ukwelashwa kunikezwa ngezindlela zombili ezizimele nezeqembu.
Ezinye izinto zifaka izinyathelo eziyishumi nambili noma imihlangano efanayo yokutakula, amakilasi okufunda ngomlutha, ukuhlela kabusha ukuvimbela, kanye nokwelashwa okuphelele.
Izindlela zokwelapha ezihamba phambili namathuluzi wokutakula okusiza imibhangqwana eluthayo
Ama-rehabs ahlala imibhangqwana, azohlinzeka ngezinhlobo ezithile zokwelashwa kwengqondo okugxile ekululekeni izithandani.
Imibhangqwana eshadile ebhekene nokulutha ndawonye ingahlangabezana nalezi zindlela ezigxile emibhangqwaneni esiza abalingani ukubona nokushintsha ukuvumelana noma ukwenza izindlela zokuziphatha, bathuthukise amakhono wokuxhumana, futhi bafundise izindlela zokuxazulula izingxabano namakhono okubhekana nazo.
Lezi zindlela zokwelashwa ezigxile emibhangqwaneni zifaka -
- Ukwelashwa kwemibhangqwana yokuziphatha (BCT) -Yakhelwe imibhangqwana elwa nokusebenzisa kabi izidakamizwa, i-BCT isiza abalingani babone amaphethini angasebenzi kahle aqinise ukulutha. Lo mbhangqwana udala inkontileka yokutakula nomunye ngenkathi ufunda ukuxazulula izinkinga namakhono wokuxhumana.
- Ukwelashwa okugxilwe ngokomzwelo (EFT) – I-EFT ifundisa abalingani ukuthi bangayilawula kanjani kangcono imizwa yabo futhi bashintshe nokuziphatha okungalungile, njengobutha nokugxeka, ngokuziphatha okuhle okukhuthaza ukuxhasana, okuholela ekuqineni kwesibopho somshado.
- Ukwelashwa kwabashadile bokuziphatha ngotshwala (i-ABCT) - Lokhu kufana ne-BCT kepha yakhelwe ngqo imibhangqwana enenkinga yotshwala. I-ABCT ifundisa amakhono wokutakula akhuthaza ukuzithiba ngakho imibhangqwana ifunda ukuba nomshado onempilo, nothando ngaphandle kokuphuza.
Ngemuva kokuvuselelwa kwemibhangqwana, kunconywa ukuthi imibhangqwana ibambe iqhaza emphakathini wokuthola kabusha njengeRecovering Couples Anonymous (RCA), okuyiqembu eliyizinyathelo eziyi-12 lemibhangqwana. Uma iqembu le-RCA lingatholakali, imihlangano ye-A.A., NA, noma ye-SMART Recovery nayo inikela ngosizo lwezenhlalo olubaluleke kakhulu ekululameni kwasekuqaleni.
Ngakho-ke, lapho imibhangqwana eshadile ibhekene nokulutha ndawonye, bangangena kulo mhlahlandlela wokulutha umlutha wabalingani nabalingani. Lo mbhalo nakanjani uzobasiza balwe nokulutha kwabo futhi bathuthukise imishado yabo ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.