-Delile
- Kunconyiwe - Gcina Inkambo Yami Yomshado
- 1. Ukulandela izibonelo zabazali bethu nogogo nomkhulu
- 2. Intukuthelo
- 3. Ukwesaba ukusondelana
- 4. Amakhono okuxhumana asabekayo
- 5. Ukuzethemba okuphansi nokuzethemba okuphansi
- 6. Ngabe wenze iphutha, washada nomuntu ongafanele?
- Funa usizo lochwepheshe
- Kubhale phansi
- Funda ukuthi ungaqala kanjani ukukhuluma ngemizwa yakho
- Qala ngokubuza imibuzo enhle impela
- Thola imbangela yokuzethemba kwakho okuphansi
- Phula inkohliso
Ingabe usemshadweni ongasebenzi kahle? Ingabe ukuntuleka kwamakhono okuxhumana, noma okunye? Kungenzeka yini ukuthi imishado eminingi ayisebenzi njengamanje?
Mhlawumbe ngenxa yezindaba kanye ne-Intanethi, sihlala sifunda ngabantu abanezindaba, noma ukuba umlutha ebudlelwaneni noma olunye uhlobo lokungasebenzi olubonakala lubulala ubudlelwane obuningi nemishado eminingi emhlabeni wonke.
Eminyakeni engama-28 edlule, umbhali, umeluleki kanye nomqeqeshi wokuqala wokuthengisa kakhulu uDavid Essel ubelokhu esiza ukufundisa imibhangqwana ngalokho okudingekayo ukuze ube nomshado ophilayo, nojabulisayo noma ubuhlobo.
Ngezansi, uDavid ukhuluma ngemishado engasebenzi kahle, izimbangela kanye nokwelashwa
“Ngibuzwa njalo ezingxoxweni ezisakazwa emsakazweni nangesikhathi sokufunda kwami e-USA, yimaphi amaphesenti emishado aqhuba kahle kulesi sikhathi samanje?
Ngemuva kweminyaka engama-30 yokuba ngumeluleki nomqeqeshi wempilo, ngiyakutshela ukuthi iphesenti lemishado enempilo liphansi kakhulu. Mhlawumbe ama-25%? Futhi-ke umbuzo olandelayo engiwubuzwayo uthi, kungani sinokungasebenzi kahle okungaka othandweni? Ingabe ukuntuleka kwamakhono okuxhumana, noma okunye?
Impendulo ayikaze ibe lula, kepha ngiyakutshela ukuthi akuyona nje inkinga yamakhono wokuxhumana, kuyinto engangena ijule kakhulu kunalokho.
Kunconyiwe - Gcina Inkambo Yami Yomshado
Ngezansi, ake sixoxe ngezizathu eziyisithupha ezinkulu zokuthi kungani kunokungasebenzi kahle okuningi emishadweni namuhla, nokuthi yini okudingeka siyenze ukuyiguqula
1. Ukulandela izibonelo zabazali bethu nogogo nomkhulu
Silandela izibonelo zabazali bethu nogogo nomkhulu, okungenzeka ukuthi bahlala ebudlelwaneni obungenampilo iminyaka engama-30, 40 noma 50. Lokhu kwehlukile-ke uma umama wakho noma ubaba wakho ebenenkinga yotshwala, izidakamizwa, ukubhema noma ukudla ongahle ube nokulutha okufanayo okuqhuba impilo yakho njengamanje.
Phakathi kweminyaka yobudala ka-zero no-18, ingqondo yethu enganakile iyisiponji semvelo esizungezile.
Ngakho-ke uma ubona ukuthi ubaba uyisiqhwaga, umama unolaka nje, qagela ini? Lapho ushada noma usebudlelwaneni obukhulu, ungamangali lapho umlingani wakho ekusola ngokuba yisiqhwaga, noma ulaka.
Uphinda nje lokho okubonile usakhula, akusona isaba leso, kumane kuyiqiniso.
2. Intukuthelo
Intukuthelo engaxazululwa, enkambisweni yami, iyindlela yokuqala yokungasebenzi kahle emshadweni namuhla.
Intukuthelo enganakekelwa, ingaphenduka ibe izindaba ezingokomzwelo, ukulutheka, ukusebenza ngokweqile, isimilo sokuzikhandla, kanye nezindaba zomzimba.
Intukuthelo engaxazululiwe ibulala ubuhlobo. Kubhidliza amathuba obudlelwano bokuchuma lapho kukhona amagqubu angaxazululwa.
3. Ukwesaba ukusondelana
Lena enkulu. Ezimfundisweni zethu, ukusondelana kufana nokwethembeka okungu-100%.
Ngesithandwa sakho, umyeni wakho noma unkosikazi wakho, isoka noma intombi yakho, enye yezinto okufanele yehlukanise ubudlelwano onabo nabo ngisho nomngani wakho omkhulu, kufanele kube ukuthi uzibeka engcupheni yokwethembeka kubo nge-100% empilweni kusuka ngosuku lokuqala.
Lokho ukusondelana okumsulwa. Uma wabelana nomlingani wakho okuthile ongase wenqatshwe ngakho, noma ugxekwe ngakho, ubeka engcupheni yonke into, uthembekile futhi usengozini okuyikho kimi lokho okusondelana nakho.
Ngonyaka odlule ngasebenza nombhangqwana owawungasebenzi kahle ngokweqile. Umyeni ubengajabule kwasekuqaleni maqondana nobudlelwano bakhe bobulili nomkakhe. Umkakhe akakuthandanga ukwanga. Wayefuna nje "ukukuqeda ngo", ngenxa yokuhlangenwe nakho okuthile ayekade enakho ebudlelwaneni bangaphambilini okwakungeyona impilo.
Kodwa kusukela ekuqaleni, akazange asho lutho. Wayebambe amagqubu. Wayengathembekile.
Wayefuna ubuhlobo obujulile bokuqabula, ngaphambi nangesikhathi socansi futhi wayengeke ahlangane nalokho.
Ekusebenzeni kwethu ngokubambisana, wakwazi ukuveza ngothando, lokho ayekufisa futhi wakwazi ukukuveza ngothando, kungani ayengakhululekile ukuba sengozini kakhulu endaweni yokuqabulana.
Ukuzimisela kwabo ukuzibeka engcupheni ukuze bavuleke, babe sengozini kuholele ekuphulukisweni okungakholeki othandweni, into ababengakaze bayithole eminyakeni engama-20 beshadile.
4. Amakhono okuxhumana asabekayo
Manje ngaphambi kokuba ugxume kwi-bandwagon "yezokuxhumana iyikho konke", bheka ukuthi ikuphi kulolu hlu. Kusephansi impela. Yinombolo yesine.
Ngitshela abantu ngaso sonke isikhathi abangena futhi bangicele ukuba ngibafundise amakhono wokuxhumana kube sengathi lokho kuzoshintsha ubudlelwano, ukuthi akunjalo.
Ngiyazi, ama-90% wabeluleki ozokhuluma nabo bazokutshela ukuthi konke kumayelana namakhono wokuxhumana, futhi ngizokutshela ukuthi bonke basephutheni.
Uma ungawanakekeli la maphuzu amathathu angenhla lapha, angikuniki ubudlabha ukuthi ungumuntu okhulumisana kahle kangakanani, ngeke kuwuphulukise umshado.
Manje kufanele yini ukufunda amakhono wokuxhumana emgqeni? Kunjalo! Kepha kuze kube yilapho unakekela amaphuzu amathathu angenhla.
5. Ukuzethemba okuphansi nokuzethemba okuphansi
O Nkulunkulu wami, lokhu kuzokwenza bonke ubuhlobo, yonke imishado ibe yinselelo enkulu.
Uma ungeke uzwe ukugxekwa kozakwenu, angikhulumi ngokumemeza nokumemeza, ngikhuluma ngokugxeka okwakhayo, ngaphandle kokuvala. Leso yisibonelo sokuzethemba okuphansi nokuzethemba okuphansi.
Uma ungeke ukwazi ukubuza umlingani wakho, ukuthi yini oyifisayo othandweni, ngoba wesaba ukwaliwa, ukushiywa noma ngaphezulu, lokho kuyisibonakaliso sokuzethemba nokuzethemba okuphansi.
Futhi lowo “ngumsebenzi wakho. Kufanele uzisebenzele nochwepheshe.
6. Ngabe wenze iphutha, washada nomuntu ongafanele?
Ngabe ushade nomuntu osebenzisa imali mahhala, okuhlala kukugcina ekucindezelekeni kwezezimali, futhi ubukwazi kwasekuqaleni, kodwa wakuphika, manje usudlekile?
Noma mhlawumbe ushade nomuntu odla imizwa, ukuthi kule minyaka eyi-15 edlule uzuze amakhilogremu angama-75, kepha ubuwazi ukuthi bangabadli bemizwa uma ufuna ukuthembeka kuwe kusuka ngosuku lwama-30 wokuthandana.
Noma mhlawumbe umlutha wotshwala? Ekuqaleni, ubudlelwano obuningi bususelwa otshwaleni, kuyindlela yokwehlisa ukukhathazeka nokwandisa amakhono okuxhumana nabantu abathile, kepha ukuvumele ukuthi kuqhubeke isikhathi eside kakhulu? Leyo inkinga yakho.
Manje, senzani ngalezi zinselelo ezingenhla, uma ufuna ukwakha ubudlelwano obunempilo ngalena yakho yamanje engasebenzi?
Funa usizo lochwepheshe
Qasha umeluleki oqeqeshiwe noma umqeqeshi wempilo ukuze ubone ukuthi umane ulingisa, uphinda indlela yokuziphatha kwabazali bakho futhi awazi nakancane. Lokhu kungabhidlika, kepha kuzofanele uthole umuntu ozokusiza.
Kubhale phansi
Amagqubu angaxazululiwe?
Bhala ukuthi ziyini. Cacisa ngempela. Uma ucasula umlingani wakho ngokushiya ephathini, unganakiwe amahora amane, kubhale phansi.
Uma unenzondo echithwa umlingani wakho ngempelasonto yonke ebuka ezemidlalo ku-TV, bhala phansi. Yikhiphe ekhanda lakho bese uyifaka ephepheni, bese futhi, sebenza nochwepheshe ukuze ufunde ukuthi ungakhipha kanjani intukuthelo othandweni.
Funda ukuthi ungaqala kanjani ukukhuluma ngemizwa yakho
Ukwesaba ukusondelana. Ukwesaba ukwethembeka. Lokhu kukhulu futhi.
Kuzofanele ufunde ukuthi ungaqala kanjani ukukhuluma ngemizwa yakho ngendlela ethembekile ngokwedlulele.
Njengazo zonke ezinye izinyathelo, kuzodingeka ukuthi usebenze nochwepheshe ukuthola ukuthi ungakwenza kanjani lokhu isikhathi eside.
Qala ngokubuza imibuzo enhle impela
Amakhono okuxhumana angalungile.
Indlela enhle kakhulu yokuqala ukuthuthukisa amakhono akho wokuxhumana iqala ngokubuza imibuzo enhle impela.
Kufanele uthole ukuthi ungabuza kanjani umlingani wakho ukuthi yiziphi izidingo zabo, yini abangakuthandi, ukuthi iziphi izifiso zabo ukuze ubazi ezingeni elijulile.
Bese kuthi ngesikhathi sokuxhumana, ikakhulukazi lezo eziba nzima, sifuna ukusebenzisa ithuluzi elibizwa ngokuthi “ukulalela okusebenzayo.”
Kusho ukuthini lokho, uma uxhumana nomlingani wakho, futhi ufuna ukucacelwa ukuthi ukuzwa ngqo abakushoyo, uphinda izitatimende abazenzayo ukuze uqiniseke ukuthi ucace bha emakhonweni akho okulalela, futhi awukuhumushi kabi abakushoyo.
“Sthandwa sami, ngakho-ke engikuzwile ukukusho ukuthi, ukhungathekile impela ngokuthi ngilokhu ngikuhlupha njalo ngoMgqibelo ekuseni ukusika utshani, lapho ungathanda ukubusika ngeSonto kusihlwa. Ingabe yilokho okucasulile? ”
Ngaleyo ndlela, uthola ithuba lokucaca kahle kakhulu futhi kubude obude obufanayo nobomlingani wakho.
Thola imbangela yokuzethemba kwakho okuphansi
Ukuzethemba okuphansi nokuzethemba okuphansi. KULUNGILE, lokhu akuhlangene nakancane nomlingani wakho. Lutho.
Phinda futhi uthole umeluleki noma umqeqeshi wempilo ongakusiza ubone futhi uthole imbangela eyisisekelo sokuzethemba kwakho nokuzethemba okuphansi, bese uthola izinyathelo zokwenza isinyathelo kubo masonto onke ngokuthi ungakuthuthukisa kanjani.
Ayikho enye indlela. Lokhu akuhlangene ngalutho nomlingani wakho, wena kuphela.
Phula inkohliso
Ushade nomuntu ongafanele. Hheyi, kwenzeka ngaso sonke isikhathi. Kepha akulona iphutha labo, yiphutha lakho.
Njengomeluleki nomqeqeshi wempilo, ngitshela wonke amaklayenti ami emishadweni engasebenzi kahle, ukuthi lokho ababhekene nakho manje bekubonakala ngokuphelele ezinsukwini zokuqala ezingama-90 zobudlelwano bokuthandana.
Abantu abaningi ekuqaleni abavumelani, kepha njengoba senza imisebenzi yethu ebhaliwe yasekhaya, bangena benikina amakhanda, bethuka lapho bethola ukuthi umuntu abanaye njengamanje akakashintshi kangako selokhu baqala ukuthandana nabo.
Eminyakeni eminingana eyedlule ngangisebenza nowesifazane, owayeshade iminyaka engaphezu kwengu-40, nginezingane ezimbili nomyeni wakhe, kwathi lapho umyeni wakhe efulathela futhi ethola ifulethi, ngaqala ukuhlala laphaya ethi ubhekene nokudangala kwempilo , wathola ukuthi uyajola.
Kuzamazamise umhlaba wakhe.
Wayecabanga ukuthi banomshado ophelele, kepha kwakuyinkohliso ngokuphelele kuye.
Ngenkathi ngimbuyisela emuva ekuqaleni kobudlelwano bokuthandana, lona ngumfana ofanayo owayengamyisa ephathini, amshiye amahora namahora eyedwa, bese kuthi lapho iphathi seliphelile eze amthole futhi mtshele ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokugoduka.
Lo kwakungumfana ofanayo owayezophuma endlini ngo-4: 30 ekuseni, amtshele ukuthi udinga ukuya emsebenzini, uzobuya ekhaya ngehora lesithupha bese elele embhedeni ngo-8 PM. Hhayi ukuzibandakanya naye nhlobo.
Uyabona ukufana kusukela lapho baqala ukuthandana? Wayengatholakali ngokomzwelo, wayengatholakali ngokomzimba futhi wayephindaphinda isimilo esifanayo ngenye indlela.
Ngemuva kokusebenza ngokubambisana, lapho ngamsiza khona ngesehlukaniso, welapha kungakapheli unyaka okushesha kakhulu, wabona ukuthi wayengaguqukanga kwasekuqaleni, ukuthi wayeshade nendoda okungeyona kuye.
Uma ufunda okungenhla, futhi ufuna ukuthembeka kuwe, ungashintsha indlela yakho ebudlelwaneni bakho bothando obungasebenzi noma emshadweni, futhi ngethemba lokuthi uzokuguqula ngosizo lochwepheshe.
Kepha kukuwe.
Ungasola ukuthi konke kuyiphutha lomlingani wakho, noma ungabheka ngobuqotho okungenhla bese uthatha isinqumo sezinguquko okudingeka uzenze ukuze ngethemba ugcine ubuhlobo bakho uma kungenzeka bonge. Hambani manje