-Delile
- 1. Ukuntuleka kokuthembana okubonakalayo
- 2. Ukugula ngengqondo
- 3. Imibono yokuncintisana
- 4. Izingane
- 5. Ubuhlobo obuvulelekile
- 6. Isizungu
- 7. Ukuya ocansini
- 8. Ukuvikelwa
- Yini okufanele uyenze lapho ephuma?
Akuthathi degree kusayensi ye-rocket ukubona ukuthi imishado ejabulisayo ayipheli nje ngokungazelelwe.
Eqinisweni, imishado ijwayele ukungahlakazeki ngemuva kwesikhathi eside se-malaise ngisho nokuphika. Ngokuvamile, imibhangqwana izama ukuyikhipha ngokubeka ukugcizelela okwengeziwe ekwelulekeni nasekukhulumisaneni.
Lokho kusho ukuthi, imibhangqwana eminingi ingakhomba umzuzu noma izikhathi lapho izinto zifinyelele eqophelweni lokungabuyeli.
Kepha nansi into ekhathazayo. Kwesinye isikhathi abalingani bayasuka emishadweni ejabulisayo noma ebudlelwaneni obunempilo. Lokhu kushiya kushiya omunye umlingani ezibuza ukuthi, "Kwenzekeni nje?" Kulesi siqephu, sibheka ezinye zezizathu ezenza ukuthi abesifazane bashiye imishado ejabulisayo. Ingabe okunye kwalokhu kuyasebenza kuwe?
Funda ukuze wazi ukuthi kungani abesifazane beduka nokuthi uyeka nini ukunakekela ebudlelwaneni.
1. Ukuntuleka kokuthembana okubonakalayo
Kunezikhathi lapho abalingani lapho ukwethenjwa kwabo kuphonselwa inselelo ngokungahambisani kahle nokungezwani okubonakala kukuncane. Ngokumangazayo, ubungqabavu bomshado ojabule ngenye indlela bungaxhoma isikhashana.
Owesifazane odonsa ngokomzwelo uyifulegi elibomvu emshadweni ojabulisayo.
Kokuhle noma okubi, ngaphandle kwalokho imishado enempilo nejabulisayo ingalahlwa ngenxa yokuzingelwa.
2. Ukugula ngengqondo
Sonke siye salwa nobunzima. Lapho owesifazane ehamba, ukuphazamiseka kobuntu, ukudangala nokunye okunjalo kungaba yisisusa sokumuka kwakhe kungazelelwe ebudlelwaneni.
Imvamisa, ukucindezeleka kungumphumela oqondile wokulahlekelwa futhi kuyindalo ebukhali. Kodwa-ke, kunezikhathi lapho izingqinamba zethu zempilo yengqondo zifinyelela kude kakhulu nokudangala.
Ukugula kwengqondo okuxilongwayo kungagcini ngokuqeda izinhloso ezinhle zalowo muntu kepha kungakonakalisa konke ukuhamba kobudlelwano obukhona, ngisho nasemishadweni enempilo nejabulisayo.
Abesifazane - nabesilisa ngalokho - bangawushiya umshado lapho ukugula kwengqondo kuphazamisa ukucabanga okuhle, okuhle.
3. Imibono yokuncintisana
Esinye sezithombe ezingasizi ngalutho ezihlanganiswe nomqondo osentshonalanga womshado lo mbono wokuthi "laba ababili baba munye."
Imishado enempilo nenenjabulo ivumela isikhala esanele kubo bobabili abalingani ukuhlola ngokugcwele nokwamukela imibono yabo yobizo, impilo, ingokomoya, nokunye okunjalo. Kodwa-ke, kunezikhathi lapho abalingani babona khona ukuthi imibono yabo iyimibono yokuncintisana. Ngokuningi, ukukhukhuleka ngokuhlukana kwenzeka ebudlelwaneni.
Uma owesifazane noma umlingani wakhe ezwa ukuthi umbono wabo ngekusasa awuhambisani nenqubekela phambili yomshado, umshado ungaphela.
4. Izingane
Akuwona wonke umbhangqwana oshadile okhetha ukuba nezingane njengengxenye ye "equation" yabo yomndeni.
Lokhu kushukumiseka okungenabantwana akulungile inqobo nje uma wonke amaqembu esebhodini ngale ndlela. Kodwa-ke, abesifazane bavame ukuzwa ukudonswa kobuzali lapho abanye babo ababalulekile bengazizwa. Lapho kukhona lolu hlobo lokungaziphathi kahle ebudlelwaneni, ukuhlukana emshadweni kungenzeka kuseduze.
Indlu ehlukene yodwa ayinakuma. Ngendlela efanayo, ukungavumelani ngodaba "lwengane noma cha" kungaba yisihlukanisi.
5. Ubuhlobo obuvulelekile
Eminye imibhangqwana yenza isivumelwano esivumela "ukusondelana ngokukhululekile."
Ngenkathi ukwethembana okukhulu kudingeka phakathi kwabalingani abavumela ukubonakaliswa kobulili ngaphezu kobudlelwano, ubuhlobo bungaba nobunzima ngakho.
Nansi into, ukwethembana kuyancipha lapho ukunaka kwethu kugxile ekubambisaneni okungaphezu koyedwa okusondelene. Abesifazane abasebudlelwaneni obuqinile noma emishadweni ejabulisayo bangabushiya ubudlelwano uma bezwa ukuthi abalingani babo abasondelene kakhulu nabo bathambekele kakhulu ebudlelwaneni bangaphandle komshado kunesibopho somshado.
6. Isizungu
Njengoba isimo somuntu siguquka, isikhathi sethu sokuqonda siyakhula. Ngoba ezobuchwepheshe nemithi kaningi kusinika isikhathi esithe xaxa sokuzinikela ezintweni zokuzilibazisa, singakhetha ukuhamba noma ukuzibandakanya ezinhlotsheni eziningi zokuzilibazisa.
Kepha noma siphishekela imisebenzi yokuzilibazisa ukugcina izinto zithakazelisa, singaba nesithukuthezi ngobuhlobo bethu esivele sikhona. Abanye besifazane, kanye nabesilisa, bangazizwa sengathi umlingani wabo akanandaba noma akasebenzi ngokwanele ukuphoqelela ukuzibophezela kwesikhathi eside.
Kungenzeka singalokothi silwe nomlingani wethu, kepha singase sibe nesithukuthezi ngabo. Ngakho-ke, abanye besifazane baqhubeka nempilo ngaphandle kokunye okubalulekile okukhona manje.
7. Ukuya ocansini
Eminye imibhangqwana isiphila kahle emshadweni wayo lapho omunye wabalingani esebona ukuthi bakhangwa abantu bobulili obufanayo. Umlingani angamthanda ngokweqiniso oshade naye ngenkathi engakhangwa kakhulu ngumlingani.
Lapho owesifazane (noma owesilisa) evuma ukukhanga ngokocansi kumuntu wobulili obufanayo, kungasho ukuphela kobudlelwano bamanje.
Yize ukwehlukana nesehlukaniso esingahle sibe khona kungaba nzima impela, kungadingeka futhi.
Sonke sifuna ubuqiniso uma siphilile. Uma bungekho lobuqiniso, singakhula ekungabazeni nasekucindezelekeni. Ukuthembeka ekuqondisweni kungasho ukuthi ukuguquka kwesimo sobudlelwano kufanelekile.
8. Ukuvikelwa
Ngenkathi isihloko sisho zonke izinhlobo zezinketho, inhloso yinye. Lapho eyeka ukuzama kuwuphawu lokuqagela umlilo oluqinisekile lokuthi lona wesifazane uyahlehla ebudlelwaneni.
Kunezikhathi lapho abesifazane (nabesilisa) besuka ebudlelwaneni obuhle ngoba bebona "izinyanga ezimbi" emkhathizwe. Inkinga yezempilo, ukugula okungaguli, nokunye okunjalo zonke izizathu zokuthi umlingani angahamba ashiye “into enhle” noma aqhutshwe asuke ebudlelwaneni ngoba efuna ukuvikela abalingani babo.
Emzameni wethu wokuvikela abanye ezinkingeni esihlangabezane nazo, singenza okubi kunokuhle.
Yini okufanele uyenze lapho ephuma?
Lapho ehamba, mnike isikhala futhi angabuya.
Kwesinye isikhathi, ophathina basuka kulokho okufanele kube yinto enhle. Kuyakhathaza, kubuhlungu, kepha kuyenzeka. Uma kwenzeka, kubalulekile ukuthi umlingani ekugcineni kwezindaba ezimbi avulekele isikhala ngenkathi eqhubeka nokuhlala enethemba lokuthi ukuhlangana kungenzeka.
Ukukhulumisana okuqinile kuyadingeka emishadweni ejabulisayo. Futhi, ekugcineni, ukwamukelwa kwanoma yimuphi umphumela osemakhadini obudlelwano.
Ngakho-ke, yini okufanele uyenze lapho eba kude?
Esikhundleni sokufuna ukulungiswa okusheshayo kokuthi ungahlehlela kanjani emuva ebudlelwaneni, kubalulekile ukuthi uqale umnikeze isikhala, uqiniseke ukuthi ayikho into oyenzile yokumcasula oyaziyo, bese ubuza ukuthi uzobe ezimisele ngokuya kokwelulekwa ngokomqondo.
Asikwazi ukwenza ukukhetha kozakwethu esondelene nabo uma bezimisele ngokubuyela ebuhlotsheni. Kodwa-ke, singakwazi ukuzinakekela kahle.