-Delile
- 1. Ukubhekana neqiniso elithembekile
- 2. Ukuqhathanisa ukuthandwa nokungathandwa
- 3. Ukuzivocavoca okuyekethisa
- 4. Ukwabelana ngokuhlakanipha
- 5. Ukuhlanganisa izinto
- 6. Funa usizo lapho izinkinga noma izinkinga ziba ziningi kakhulu
- 7. Thuthukisa ukuxhumana
- 8. Izindaba zezezimali
- Igama lokugcina ngokwelulekwa kwezithandani ngaphambi komshado
Uhlela ukushada maduze? Ukwelulekwa kwezithandani ngaphambi komshado kuya ngokuya kuthandwa okukhulu kulezi zinsuku - futhi konke kunezizathu ezizwakalayo!
Uma ucabanga ukuthi akunasidingo, ima kancane bese ucabanga futhi. Nazi ezinye izinzuzo ezimangalisayo zokwelulekwa kwezithandani ngaphambi komshado.
1. Ukubhekana neqiniso elithembekile
Ukwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado kusiza imibhangqwana ukuthi ibone iqiniso ngomshado. Ngenkathi belulekwa, bazofunda futhi baqonde okhiye bobudlelwano obuyimpumelelo.
Imibhangqwana eminingi icabanga ukuthi umshado umnandi futhi unelanga, futhi kwesinye isikhathi, kodwa hhayi ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ukwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado kusiza imibhangqwana ukuthi iqonde ukuthi kuzoba nezimpikiswano nokungavumelani nokuthi zingabhekana kanjani nalezi zimo lapho zenzeka.
Ukwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado kusiza imibhangqwana ukuthi ibheke isithombe esikhulu futhi ixoxe ngezinto eziningi ngaphambi kokuba zenzeke.
2. Ukuqhathanisa ukuthandwa nokungathandwa
Ngezinyoni zanamuhla zothando, ezimisele ukuhamba phansi, ukululekwa kwezithandani ngaphambi komshado kuyinto okumele uyenze.
Ukuqhathanisa okuningi kwenziwa lapho imibhangqwana ithola ukwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado.
Ngesikhathi sokwelulekwa, umeluleki uzoqhathanisa okuthandayo nokungathandi nokwakho komlingani wakho. Okunye ukuthandwa nokungathandwa kungadala izingqinamba ezinkulu emuva kwesikhathi kulayini kubudlelwano.
Kungadingidwa nangemvelaphi yomuntu. Ozakwethu oyedwa angahle afune uhlobo oluthile lomuntu kusuka kusizinda esithile.
Ungacabanga ukuthi konke lokhu kuzocatshangelwa ngaphambi kokuba izithandani zizwe izinsimbi zomshado, kepha uzomangala ukuthi zingaki izithandani ezingacabangi isithombe esikhulu, yingakho kunezehlukaniso eziningi.
Ngokusobala, ukuthatha ukwelulekwa kwezithandani ngaphambi komshado kwakungeyona ohlwini lwazo lokuqala.
Buka uMary Kay Cocharo, owelapha umshado nomndeni, akhulume ngokubaluleka nezinzuzo zokwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado nangemuva komshado:
3. Ukuzivocavoca okuyekethisa
Kunokuzivocavoca okuningi okuyekethayo okubandakanyeka ekwelulekeni kwabashadikazi. Ukuyekethisa kuyingxenye enkulu yomshado ngoba ukuhlangana kwabantu ababili abangahlobene.
Ukwazi lokhu, kuzoba nokuyekethisa okuningi okudingekayo ukuze umshado uphumelele. Ukwelulekwa kwezithandani ngaphambi komshado kubeka izinto ezingeni labantu ababheke ebudlelwaneni bomshado.
4. Ukwabelana ngokuhlakanipha
Ngesikhathi sokwelulekwa kwezithandani ngaphambi komshado, abashadayo bakhuluma nomeluleki abazikhethele yena baxoxe ngezinto ezingaphakama. Ngalesi sikhathi, umeluleki uzokhanyisa izingqinamba ngokwabelana ngemibono yabo.
Ngesikhathi sokwelulekwa, imibhangqwana ingabuza imibuzo futhi inikeze imibono engasiza ubudlelwane babo buhlale buqinile ngempilo yomshado.
Abantu abaningi bakholelwa ukuthi unyaka wokuqala noma emibili yomshado inzima kakhulu ngoba uthola ukwazi umlingani wakho ezingeni lomuntu siqu futhi umndeni wabo ubandakanyeka kakhulu.
Uthola isihlalo esingaphambili sokuthi baphila kanjani impilo yabo nsuku zonke. Kwabanye abantu, kuningi kakhulu abangabhekana nakho futhi kulapho izikhathi zokwelulekwa izithandani ngaphambi komshado nomeluleki onguchwepheshe zingasiza imibhangqwana ukuthi ikulungele ukushada noma cha.
5. Ukuhlanganisa izinto
Yize izikhathi zingaba nzima, akekho umbhangqwana ofuna ukulwela umshado wabo bonke.
Kungakho kufanele kwenziwe isu ngaphambi kokuba umshado wenziwe. Umeluleki angasiza imibhangqwana ukuba yakhe uhlelo oluzoyisiza ezikhathini ezinzima phakathi komshado wayo ukuze ubudlelwano bungagcini ngesehlukaniso.
Umeluleki ufundisa imibhangqwana ukuthi ingakusiza kanjani ukungaboni ngaso linye futhi igcine ubuhlobo bayo buqinile ngaphandle kosizo lwangaphandle oluvela kubantu besithathu olungase lunganikezi izeluleko ezinhle, kufaka phakathi abangane nezihlobo.
6. Funa usizo lapho izinkinga noma izinkinga ziba ziningi kakhulu
Imibhangqwana eminingi ifuna ubudlelwano obuphelele futhi lokho akunakwenzeka kakhulu futhi akunakwenzeka.
Ukwelulekwa kwezithandani ngaphambi komshado kusiza imibhangqwana ukuthi iqonde ukuthi kulungile ukufuna usizo lapho izinkinga noma izinkinga seziningi kakhulu nokuthi bonke ubudlelwano abuphelele.
Imibhangqwana ingaba nabangani nomndeni ekhombisa futhi ipende isithombe esihle sempilo ephelele yasemshadweni, kepha empeleni, nabo bafuna usizo nokuholwa ngumchwepheshe.
Lapho nje imibhangqwana seyiqonda ukuthi kuzoba nezikhathi ezinzima naphansi emshadweni wayo, ezinye izindlela zamasu zokwelulekwa nezindlela ezisetshenziswa ekwelulekeni ngomshado ngaphambi kokushada zingasetshenziswa ukubasiza babhekane nezinye izindaba.
7. Thuthukisa ukuxhumana
Imibhangqwana eminingi ecabanga ukushada ayikaze ishade ngaphambilini futhi abazi ukuthi yini okufanele babheke phambili noma ukuthi yini abangayilindela. Izinto eziningi ezibalulekile emshadweni, ikakhulukazi ukuxhumana, kungabonakala njengolimi lwangaphandle kubo bobabili abathintekayo ebudlelwaneni.
Ukuxhumana nokwethembana kuyisisekelo sobudlelwano obuyimpumelelo. Ngaphandle kokuxhumana, ubudlelwano, ikakhulukazi umshado, bunamathuba amancane okusinda.
Kungani ukwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado kubalulekile?
Ukwelulekwa kwezithandani ngaphambi komshado kungasiza imibhangqwana ukuthi ikhululeke komunye nomunye futhi iveze imizwa yayo ngaphandle kokucasulwa imizwa ngokweqile noma ukuqhuma ngentukuthelo.
8. Izindaba zezezimali
Izinkinga zezezimali zingesinye isici esingaxoxwa ngesikhathi sokwelulekwa kwezithandani ngaphambi komshado.
Ngaphandle kokuntuleka kokuxhumana nokungathembeki, izindaba zezimali ziyimbangela evamile yesehlukaniso. Izabelomali zomshado nokuhlelela ikusasa kungaxoxwa ngazo zombili ngesikhathi seseluleko.
Imibhangqwana eminingi ayicabangi ngezimali ngemuva komshado. Inhloso esemqoka yokwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado ibuye isize imibhangqwana ukuthi ixoxe ngezindlela ezithile zokucabanga imali, izinhloso zezimali zesikhathi eside nemikhuba yokusebenzisa imali - konke okuyizisekelo zokwakha izinga eliqinile lokuhambisana kwezezimali.
Ukwelulekwa ngokwengqondo kusiza imibhangqwana ukuthi ibheke ukuthi yenze malini ngenyanga eyodwa nokuthi ingakwazi ukukhokhela malini, maqondana nezindleko zokuphila.
Usizo ngezinkinga zezezimali lusiza kakhulu ngoba imibhangqwana eminingi ingena ekuthengeni ikhaya lapho isishadile.
Lezi zimo eziyisishiyagalombili ziyizizathu ezijwayelekile zokululekwa ngaphambi komshado umqondo omuhle. Umshado ungaba esinye sezikhathi ezihamba phambili nokuhlangenwe nakho kwempilo yabashadikazi, kepha ngaphandle kokwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado, ubudlelwano bungathatha indawo embi kakhulu.
Igama lokugcina ngokwelulekwa kwezithandani ngaphambi komshado
Ukubaluleka kokwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado akunakudwetshelwa ngokwanele.
Kungasiza futhi ukuhlola imibono yokwelulekwa kwezithandani ongayizama ekhaya. Lezi zindlela zokwelashwa kwabashadikazi zingakusiza uqinise amakhono akho okubambisana, ukhulise ukwethembana, ube nokwazisa kakhulu ngoshade naye futhi ukhulise injabulo ebudlelwaneni.
Ezinye izinzuzo zokwelulekwa ngaphambi komshado zifaka phakathi ukusiza imibhangqwana ukuthi ithole izinto ezintsha ngayo futhi ifunde izindlela ezinempilo zokuxazulula izinkinga zokuvimba imigwaqo emigwaqweni engathinta ukwaneliseka kobudlelwano.
Izingqinamba eziningi nezinkinga kungagwenywa noma kuxazululwe ngesikhathi sokululekwa ngaphambi komshado. Izinzuzo zokwelulekwa ngemibhangqwana ngaphambi komshado zikwedlula kude kakhulu ukungakhululeki kokuqala nokukhathazeka imibhangqwana engabhekana nakho ekuqaleni kwesigaba sokululekwa.